WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2018

Hotels - we expect to have refrigerator and microwave. If there isn't a microwave that isn't bad for a night but would not stay a second night and maybe not even the first. I'm like Heather I need quiet. We never stay in an attached room where you can open the door between rooms because you can hear everything in the next room. We generally always stay where they provide a hot breakfast even if we don't eat it. They usually have eggs and bacon or sausage. We stayed at hotels once or twice a month when my husband was working. So sometimes we would get a jacuzzi suite. Usually a complimentary upgrade because we stayed at their chain of hotels so often.

Pip- sorry you feel terrible. Hope you rebound quickly!

Barbie - i'm sure glad that you didn't get hurt when you fell. Take care of yourself!

Lisa- sure is tough staying at hotels! I loved going with my husband on his work trips. Glad to hear that your son is helping getting things done around your new place!

Heather - sorry that the solicitors are not keeping you in the loop! Can you fire them and hire someone else? Not sure what solicitors are. We have sales agents that we have definitely gotten rid of one or two if they didn't do what we wanted.

Terry VT- glad to see you're back but sorry about the conditions under which you have been going through. Great advice moving or doing whatever you can and making little changes. Stick here with us we will help you through this.

Have a great day everyone!



Mary from Minnesota \ Arizona

Warning long post; you can either skip over it or scroll down to see if I had something said in response to one of your posts

Lisa – I think that everybody has been cranky lately, due to the crazy weather we are all experiencing. Just plain crazy. I am not even going to the ‘millennials’ … just NOT going there … I don’t drive my husband pick-up because every time you stop or take off the seats go back and forth; and the key is hard to turn over for me with either hand. My broken wrist has healed; have good range of motion; but, still hurts with some movements but PT said there was nothing else they could do about it. Orthopedist gave me some cream to rub on it at the point of the break, it will take the pain out of moving it some more.
My surgeon told me to drink hot tea with my meals, so my coffee intake is cutting is easier to take. I don’t drink sodas other than if Louis leave one in the refrigerator, I will take a couple of swallows; something that makes me burp or belch and helps keep me from having the ‘walking farts’. LOL!

Pat – When I declutter our main bathroom, I threw out 4 big trash bags ½ full (so we could carry and lift it) away; and, then another one went to Goodwill – with towels and that type of thing. Kept on 2 sets of sheets for each bed – one on and one off is all I really needed to keep. I ‘hope’ that the ones I kept for my queen-sized bed in the other bedroom are actually ‘queen-sized’ sheets and not ‘king-sized’. But, some of them I have had since I married 46 years ago. DUH, do you ‘think’ I really needed them? I offered my son the ones that I was not keeping, he kept telling me he was going to get them; but, after the 8th time of asking him, I just donated them to Goodwill this week. I finally got rid of the two big heavy club chairs I inherited from my grandmother. They went to the little store in Bronwood and asked if they minded putting a picture up on a board they have of ‘want ads’ and the lady working there said she wanted them. So they are gone – finally. Just took them an entire year (sitting in my foyer are); but, I had turned them so that they looked like maybe I had meant them to be there. Turned my dining room a 90° and it gives us a lot more room (even ‘if’ it isn’t exactly centered under the light. So right now I have the choice of hitting the kitchen or utility room (which is the first room you see coming into the house from the carport. My house is decorated like a ‘hunting cabin’ so it will NEVER be like Suzanne’s house which is quite minimalist. Just isn’t going to happen. I’m sure I could declutter my bookcase more; but, that is for another time. When we get to buying appliances and maybe even deciding on replacing the counter top (and maybe even the flooring; I told Louis I would either like to have a bookshelf built at the end of the counter (where a metal one is) or either have the top covered with whatever we choose to do the countertops with; but, even them, I could probably declutter my cookbooks as well. I’m a ‘recipe’ nut/’cookbook’ nut. Finding it difficult to let any of them go.

Kelly – Love the view of the carnival. My oldest sister and brother in law have a ‘screen saver’ on their new TV that is a night scene of downtown Atlanta. It is gorgeous! I’d like to figure out how I could get that on our TV. I think they said it was a app that they could download and transfer it from their cellphone somehow.
We’re going to visit youngest son the end of the month for his birthday and having good old Cajun food. I know that isn’t going to help; but, having to eat only a dime-sized piece of food will only mean I will be the last one to get up from the table and probably have food left over if we go out to eat. At least one day we’ll go to this country store just north of Natchez, MS because the food is ‘to die for’ and the old black man comes around to each table and sings a song.
When I was a teenager, my periods were 15 days apart from start of one to the start of the other; and usually lasted about 8 days, too. Then, I was late on one and coming home from vacation I started bleeding and did not even realizing it until I was standing in a pool of it. When my middle sister and her husband ‘at the time’ rolled around when they were roller skating, my BnL scooped me up, my sister stole towels that people’s bathing suits were rolled up in to cover me, and they ran about 7 blocks from there to the motel my parents were staying in (if you were counting the blocks by the ones that came up to the boardwalk and used as parking spaces. I was hemorrhaging and when we finally got home about 5 hours later, my Mother called our family MD and he told her to just raise the bottom of my bed and if I was still bleeding in the AM to bring me to him. She told him, I’d be dead by the AM and demanding that he put in a call to any OB/GYN. At the age of 16 and never have gone to one; it was a terrifying ordeal. Humiliating as well.

Terry – I remember you made beautiful jewelry. I was carrying around the same amour of a bag of 40lbs of soil when I first started out. My GP really noticed when I went to him, I no longer felt bad and he said that is the best I had ever looked since he started treating me. I now buy my ‘shakes’ at GNC and bars from the grocery store and some of them there, too. I lost 3 lbs after my LINX procedure and the surgeon said that by no longer being able to ‘wolf down’ my food, I will probably continue taking off the pounds.

Barbie – Hope you will start to feel much better soon. For the past 3 or 7 nights the back of my calves have been so sore … feels more like they are bruised; one night I went to bed; because putting them up on the footstool just seemed to make it worse and I thought lying flat in the bed would help. Then later, I got up and my legs felt like ‘jelly’ so I slide down the kitchen cabinet doors and sat for a while, even though I knew I was going to have to pull myself up off the floor – or turn over and push myself up. It has made the middle of my back hurt right in the middle ½-way down my spine. Sometimes it ‘catches’ if I bend over too far, such as picking something off the floor.

Michelle – Loki, the cat might be ‘upset’ that a ‘visiting cat’ is a problem and he is doing the peeing on the beds, because he is stressed out about it. I think I would have to tell the water exercise instructor how it make YOU feel when there isn’t music, especially since the one woman is not there a lot. It probably slows down most of the people. The instructor should be trying to appease the ones that come all the time. Not just one. If you do not, at least, say something she might not think about that. You might want to mention to some of the others in the class how much you miss the music and why. Then, you might have more back-up if they are willing to say something, too.
If Shadow did not growl and Loki maybe did … I think it might be a bet that Shadow has taken over being the head cat of the house. Any time a ‘new’ dog or cat comes into what a fur-baby cat or dog, they do get stressed. When Will brings Lily with him, as soon as she gets out, she goes around a pees everywhere; and then Cracker goes right behind her peeing in the same area. Each of them are trying to establish that ‘this is MY territory’.
Shadow is smelling Loki on the cat tree and she probably ‘knows’ that it takes a lot of time to take over the tree because Loki’s scent is so engrained on it. Like sleeping in a new bed … not nearly as comfortable on one you have been sleeping or, or even a couch. I know our ‘new’ chairs are not nearly as comfortable as the old ones; but, we had them broken in. If I sit up in the chair instead of slouching down the arms are too high.

Margaret - I’ve got a total of 6 filing cabinet drawers to go through; but, at this time, since ‘out of sight, out of mind’ they will be one of the last things I do.
Hoping that they will be able to ‘soon’ get into the property to cut some of the trees; then we’ll have more of a chance to replace the appliances that are not working. I need to wash a basket full of my clothes.

Pip – You’re right – depression is totally different from one person to another. While I am bipolar (manic-depressive) I usually go off the rails from being ‘too manic’. I can only remember once being depressed and believe me – that is NOTHING I want to ever do again. I think one of the things that probably upsets me the most is how everything (especially on TV) is because the person doing the ‘bad’ things is considered ‘bipolar’. That isn’t the case … some of them are down-right ‘evil’ and that has nothing to do with the ‘freaking’ emotions. I think that is one of the single most reasons that having any kind of ‘mental issues’ is kept in the closet. IF you use the “M” word, it is somehow worse than using the “C” word (which I grew up hearing all the time). But, when women started ‘talking’ about Cancer – they started doing a lot of research on it and for a lot of forms of cancer – they can get them into ‘remission’ or even totally cure them. I’ve often thought about being a ‘spokesperson’ but, I don’t want to deal with the patients. The last time I was in the hospital to get my medication for my bipolar disorder; the psychiatrist I saw was NOT my regular one. By the end of 4 weeks I was beginning to ‘hate’ just about everyone. I had my clothes stolen, other than the ones I had on my back; so I would have to put on a hospital gown and wait for them to wash my clothes. It pissed me off and then having another patient tell me some of the things I ‘did’ when I first got there were so totally ‘out of character’ for me. At least I won’t ever run into them on the street. I think there was only one or two women out on the ‘open’ unit that they finally moved the 3 women out of the ‘locked’ unit because it was ‘co-ed’ and getting really ‘testy’ because one man called himself the “Archangel Michael” … I was about to ‘freaking’ DECK his @$$! I don’t like screaming; but, I really wanted to. I remember laying on the bathroom floor one day and banging the back of my head on the floor and praying to God to please get me ‘out of there’ … there were some seriously ill people back there and I wasn’t feeling any better about myself. He, somehow, has a visit from maybe his sister – in his room; but, none of the rest of us ever had any visitors until we were out on the ‘open unit’. I hope that my medications that I am now on, help me keep stable … now back to all the same dosages as I was before I had to go in. No longer on any antacids because the LINX procedure stopped the stomach acid from coming up into my esophagus. They call it Barrett’s Esophagus and it is a ‘pre-cancerous’ condition; but, as soon as they can stop the acid from coming up; the cells will start regenerating into good cells – does that every 7 days. Not all at once; but, it starts the process. The perks of having this procedure is repairing the hiatal hernia I had; preventing acid reflux, learning a ‘new’ way of eating even ‘if’ that means I will be the last up from the table – or taking ‘doggie bags’ home with me. Best thing is I lost about 3 pounds. Now under 160lbs; but not by much; but, at least crashed through that plateau.

ElizabethGA – Where in Georgia do you live? I can understand your Dad wanting someone to take the sterling silver flatware for 12. I have things that I would like my sons to have; but, I think all they really care about is getting their mounts and divided up the pictures in the house. I have some things that I have inherited; but, about the only thing that I know I will put down as going to a particular DnL is Mimi’s Hoosier kitchen cabinet because she actually ‘asked’ for it. They won’t have any place they could put it now in the 2 places they have; but, maybe they will if they buy or build.
I was thinking yesterday that if Louis passes before I do, I will pay off the house, divided the 2 tracts of land to the boys (so they won’t have to do that after my death and maybe have issues in doing so). And then pay Will rent on the house – or maybe he will just let me live here free and not have any type of rent or mortgage payment to pay. I made this decision after riding home from a MD appointment and listening to what my oldest was saying. I told him that they both needed to have Wills drawn up and also NOT to put the beneficiary to their life insurance as the Estate; but, to specifically put a name of a person or persons to inherit it. As long as we have a ‘mortgage’ we have to keep life insurance. Pay though the @$$ for insurance on Louis and that would put a lot back into my pocket – and I mean a lot. And if I predecease him; he could also pay off the house and drop the life insurance on me.

Rita – You talked about missing the ‘contact’ of someone you love. I know where you are coming from … ever since I lived without my DH – being in the hospital; he says that since I have come home, I about push him out of the side of his bed, just to be able to touch him with my body while sleeping.

Katla – Maybe it is because y’all remind him of better times when they lived next door to you and his wife was not sick – or you did not know it. It is hard to be the one watching your loved one go downhill.

Rebecca – We use refrigerated Aloe. Makes you want to jump out of your skin; but, once you start putting it on, it is really a big relief from the burn. I’ve never heard of Tiger Balm. I don’t think I would have wanted a massage unless there had been a shower to get under to wash the sand off my body. I grab the pants of my GYN every time he touches my breast to exam me and he is pretty gentle; I am just very sensitive. Once, without warning me he checked to see if I was having any type of discharge and I little grabbed his leg and squeezed. He let go, then I did. He laughed and said, “Oh, guess that hurt’. “NO $#*T, Sherlock!”

Heather – I had been on Nexium; which really did not help that much and then started having all sorts of health issues; so I was due to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy; and found out that I had “Barrett’s Esophagus” due to 12 or more years of acid reflux that was not being taken care of with Nexium. WOW! I feel like a ‘new’ woman. No acid reflux from having the LINX procedure. My GYN told me I could go to a Gastroenterologist; but, he thought I needed to go ahead and go to a general surgeon who could also do the tests I needed. At least by going directly to the surgeon, he knew what needed to be done. But, the tests I had to go through in order for my Medicare and personal health insurance to pay for, they had to get permission to do the test and the procedure.
Have y’all sold your home already? Maybe staying in an apartment complex with a month-to-month lease might be better than having whoever NOT check out the deeds or things you have found wrong with the house in “Hove” (isn’t it)? You certainly want to make sure the title to the place is ‘free and clear’ of ALL types of liens. We did not find out until after we had sold our house in Albany that the IRS had not cancelled out a lien they had placed on our property; but, it was ‘fixed’ in very short order. When we got the title to sign it over to the new person who had bought it … there were at least 7 liens from the IRS and we had paid them off YEARS ahead of selling it. Really pissed that they had apparently placed a lien on the house for the entire time it took us to pay off the lien. There should have been just one stamp of “2nd lienholder” … not 7. We usually stay at Hampton Inns because they serve a good Continental breakfast in the morning and at other motels/hotels I ‘ask’ if we can take a look at the rooms before checking in. We chose NOT to stay at a Holiday Inn because the room was NOT like the pictures shown on the registration desk. It’s a big ‘chain’ motel; and, they are both owned by the same company. But, very different.

Katla – I think I like your saying that the HALT Stress is the way to look at things. It certainly is something I find has helped me through my bipolar life-style. I am ‘in my body’ therefore I ‘know’ when things are going badly for me; it sometimes just takes Louis to realize that I am not hungry, or even really angry, unless he tells me I need to go to bed, when ‘tired’ isn’t the solution. I live out here ‘alone’ during the day; but, I am not lonely; although still being on a ‘driving restriction’ is a tad bit frustrating this time; because the DR from my seizures is over; but, my ‘sleep apnea’ MD said, ‘no driving until we can figure out why you get sleepy during the daytime hours’. But, that sleepiness has been coming on when I am ‘home’ and not moving. The weather here has been awful and the ground is saturated, so I don’t trust walking for fear of falling and not being able to get up. I think I will be ‘happier’ when they call and give me a date for my next follow-up appointment and that isn’t going to happen until they move into it. their new office. But, I really thought it was going to be the end of last month. I will give them a few days more.

Lanette – The Miralax that I am supposed to take 2x a day has ‘finally’ started working and I am also taking Magnesium Citrate, about a swallow or about a Tablespoon and a ½. The surgeon said I was doing the right thing because it isn’t unusually for that to get low after the procedure.

IF YOU WANT MY SNAIL EMAIL ADDRESS; PLEASE PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, SO MAYBE IT WON’T BE ON THE PUBLIC PLACES. I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE INFORMATION AFTER THE “@” SIGN. I WAS WONDERING WHY IT DID NOT TURN BLUE WHEN I TYPED IT IN INCORRECTLY.

Carol – I have to go back in 3 months and they will do a ‘diagnostic’ mammogram (so my insurance will pay for it) and another sonogram – and I guess that one will also be a ‘diagnostic’ one as well. The radiologist told me that it had not really changed from the last time; but, since I have a very strong family history of ‘breast cancer’ he wanted to keep on top of it. My GYN asked if I had had any type of ‘genetic testing’ and I told him that according to the only place all get sent to, that the only way they would find out would be only AFTER I had had breast cancer. She agreed with me, that it is backwards to how it ought to be. I guess if you had enough money (about $5000) you could choose to have it done and then another $10,000 to have reconstruction. Sisters have both told me that it is Federal law that they have to pay for reconstruction or make all insurance companies pay for it. [Copied] “The Women’s Health and Cancer Rights Act (WHCRA) helps protect many women with breast cancer who choose to have their breasts rebuilt (reconstructed) after a mastectomy. Mastectomy is surgery to remove all or part of the breast. This federal law requires most group insurance plans that cover mastectomies to also cover breast reconstruction.” I’m going to call my insurance company to make sure it would be covered. Called them and asked and they said, ‘yes it is covered under my policy of insurance’
I was in the same sort of storm while at the grocery store. When I got to the lobby there were probably others there; I could not make out any car, even the once close and Trey, my “Driving Miss Daisy” said he could not even see the store. I still had to go out with an umbrella when it lightened up to try to find me. I did not want the bag lady to have to go out in the rain since there was a man with me who could do it. She was all dressed up with a yellow rain suit, even with a duck bill on it.
I’ve been told you should not have anything to eat or drink 3 hours before you plan to go to bed. I eat my ‘big meal’ during the middle of the day because that is when Louis eats his big one.

Well, long email; but, I haven’t said anything in a month of Sundays.
Lenora

Aaa

Terry - I like the jewelry but I LOVE the dog!

Barbie - I hope that time and the steroids are helping you get some relief.

Rebecca - I would have smacked my husband for scaring me!

Rye - I hope your anxiety is manageable and you are able to enjoy your visit. My Mom has a sister that she doesn't speak to. I speak to her (my Aunt). I told them both that I didn't want to hear anything about the other one, that I wasn't getting in the middle and it wasn't my issue. That has worked for many years now.

Heather - I hope you get some answers soon on the house. I too need to go through all the paper in my house and purge a BUNCH! Maybe after I read about you doing it for a while longer, I'll get inspired to do the same!

It is TTOM for me, and I all I am wanting to do is eat!! Theoretically, that isn't a problem. I really could stand to gain a few lbs. In practice, much harder for me to do. If I don't log, I can eat anything and everything in sight. If I am logging, I tend to stick to my normal foods in not much larger quantities. For instance, last weekend we went to Lupe Tortilla's for beef fajitas. I ate the steak, a bit of guacamole and charro beans (I would have had grilled asparagus, but they forgot to put the order in so they brought it to go and I had it the next night with my salad). When we went there a few weeks ago, I wasn't logging for 4 days and I ate chips and queso (a normal serving), 1/2 a tortilla (they have huge tortilla's, I've always split them in half) and some cheese and sour cream on my fajita. I ate reasonable amounts of anything I wanted for the four days and after about a week of eating my normal way again, I was back at the weight I started at. This should tell me that I can eat what I want (within reason) and end up back where I want to be, heck below where I want to be. I think I am going to have to not log for a bit and just weigh myself to make sure I am staying on track to try to gain a few lbs. I think part of my holdup is that I like having some play room in case we go somewhere for a weekend or something. I don't know, I'm weird.

Okie

Peach - I need to gain a few lbs. I am about 5 lbs under the bottom of my maintenance range. While I know that I need to gain, I am finding it very hard to put that into action.

Okie

Morning Sisters, it's Day 5 of my second fast. I am still a couple pounds away from my Happy Place so will try to hold on a little longer but I'll see how I go today.

Kellie, there is a lot of things to interest kids of all ages here. LOL. I am the biggest kid of all.

Lisa, it's a very good idea to not drive more than four hours at a time. Driving when you are tired is a recipe for disaster. The act of focusing and keeping your eyes on the road and traffic is very tiring and add that on top of bad sleep and a stressful day...well, I probably wouldn't even try to drive four hours.

Rye, I feel for you! Family stress and husband's friends stress, not much to look forward to. I think you are going to just have to quietly nurture yourself. When you've had a gutsful of being social, you will have to excuse yourself and take yourself for some time out. Sit in your car and nap, or read a magazine. Tell your husband you want him to drop you off at the local swimming pool for some exercise. You have a right to some fun on your break, you work hard too, so stand up for yourself and schedule in Me Time. Being in New Zealand, I have had to socialize solely with my husband's family and friends, so I know a lot of what you have to go through. I have learned to make up an excuse and take a break from them all. We have spent nearly every Christmas with people I have nothing in common with who purposely try to make me feel small or simply ignore me. I have learned to either drive a separate vehicle so I can leave when I've had enough, or put my bike on the truck so I can take off on that, or arrive late on purpose so I don't have to spend so many hours with them etc. It's harder for you since you can't just drive off if you feel like it. Protect yourself!

Pip, you've been so stressed at work, that's probably why you got sick. Look after yourself with lemon and honey drinks and chewable vit C and as much early to bed rest as you can manage.

Terry, I have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how your are. That necklace is truly special.

Lenora, I do not put up with any painful or invasive medical exams either. Good on you for letting the doctors know they can't treat you like a piece of meat.

Have a great day everyone!

Wendy