Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time
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Started MFP in order to really mindfully lose weight. Went on a vacation and while packing, discovered that a number of my summer clothes didn't fit properly. Zipper closure failure...
I'm aware that my wine drinking leads to eating more than needed, so it's not on my diet plan. 13.2 pounds gone, but who's counting ? Only one drink since July 15, and that was part of a celebration hosted last week end by my 4-5 day a week falling down drunk ex-son-in-law across the street. He poured me a glass of wine [without asking] and it surprised me that my palate could identify the grape and region of the country. Savored, and turned down another.
Realizing recently that my drinking was WAY too much, I posted a list on my kitchen wall, just behind the place where I sit my current bottle of wine.
1.fat
2.heart issues
3.diabetes
4.loss of time
5.lack of sleep
6.loss of energy
7.loss of money
8.organ failure
And just continued to imbibe at will.
The only time I simply quit drinking without even planning to, is with a change of scenery, getting out of my usual "pattern". I once moved into the same house with the above mentioned son-in-law for 2 years and didn't take a drop. Vacationing for 5-6 weeks in another state..."No thanks, I'll have a Diet Dew."
Once I've dropped another 20 or 25 pounds I DO plan to start to drink again, but when I've had a glass or two, move from the ONLY room in my house where I eat and drink, to any other room, where I DON'T.
If including wine on my maintenance diet plan doesn't work, then I suppose my only choice is to invest in cases of Diet Dew and pretend that it is the perfect vintage for my rare venison steak. Ciao, Chianti.
This has turned into more of a confessional than a short introduction of myself. Posting anyway, hoping that "going public" will shame me into keeping my promise to myself.
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wait a second, i dont understand.....why do you have to announce you are AF? you can just have your ice water and let the guests have all the alcohol they like....i am assuming you are not afraid that you will lose control and drink if you were near alcohol....if you have self control then just drink your lime water and act really drunk
i am also assuming that as host you have no problem buying your guests alcohol
Thanks again, @Norm! Actually, your last sentence was where my original question arose. I was wondering if I should just carry on serving alcohol as before or if I should edge toward a different practice. Others suggested I sort of announce a change because of my new sobriety, but I don't feel comfy with that. I think my down-deep concern was that I would make guests feel uncomfortable if I provided wine/alcohol and then didn't join them. I have really nice friends, and I can imagine them feeling obliged to reassure me that I don't need to provide alcohol for them. I'm probably just WAY overthinking it. I think serving wine with dinner (which I provide) and specifying BYOB for other events is probably best. I'm sure some on here are thinking, "What is her problem???" No need to discuss further, but I do appreciate the input.5 -
Ok, so I did have a few drinks this weekend. Not as much as a typical weekend. So, moderation is under way. Now to be AF Sunday through Thursday is my short term goal.
I know all the benefits of not drinking, so I am hoping to “remind” myself of that when the thought of having a glass of wine (or something stronger). Here’s to moderation and a more healthy lifestyle!!7 -
I would prefer to be able to moderate and drink a few drinks a week even knowing about the toxic effects, but I am unable to. I would drink if I could, even knowing the evidence.6
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Thanks, Norminv! Good to see you! Yeah, I'm not concerned about my own drinking, and I don't care if anyone knows I'm not drinking alcohol. Too old to care about that. My only concern is that I truly do want my guests to feel welcome and comfortable, and I don't really feel comfortable imposing my own relatively new lifestyle on them when there has been a pattern of "drinks and snacks" at events I've hosted. I don't want to make a big announcement about my choice to be AF, so I think "Festive soft drinks will be served. Feel free to BYOB if you want anything else" is probably the way I'll go. They'll probably just think I'm cheap!!I would have an ice water with lime...nobody has to know whats in it
The only snag I see with that plan is if some is brought but not enough for everyone. Some may read between the lines and think you are not encouraging alcohol and not bring any even if they wanted to drink (or they could be too cheap to buy any). You could have a situation where some people are left out because they don't want to drink the limited amount that someone brought or you could have a situation where some people greedily drink too much and the people bringing it are left with little.
Or maybe I am just assuming what my relatives would probably do in that situation (I have seen multi-year rifts for less) and other people are much more civilized...1 -
wait a second, i dont understand.....why do you have to announce you are AF? you can just have your ice water and let the guests have all the alcohol they like....i am assuming you are not afraid that you will lose control and drink if you were near alcohol....if you have self control then just drink your lime water and act really drunk
i am also assuming that as host you have no problem buying your guests alcohol
Thanks again, @Norm! Actually, your last sentence was where my original question arose. I was wondering if I should just carry on serving alcohol as before or if I should edge toward a different practice. Others suggested I sort of announce a change because of my new sobriety, but I don't feel comfy with that. I think my down-deep concern was that I would make guests feel uncomfortable if I provided wine/alcohol and then didn't join them. I have really nice friends, and I can imagine them feeling obliged to reassure me that I don't need to provide alcohol for them. I'm probably just WAY overthinking it. I think serving wine with dinner (which I provide) and specifying BYOB for other events is probably best. I'm sure some on here are thinking, "What is her problem???" No need to discuss further, but I do appreciate the input.
It is good planning!2 -
@itsmeagain2016
@forestdweller46
Great introductory posts!
Love the "naked lunch" truth in people sharing their struggles, as they connect us all, no matter what stage we are at in the Less Alcohol process.2 -
Ha! I’m sure I just made much ado about nothing as a reflex to thinking about hosting as AF. My friends are pretty civilized so probably don’t even need a heads up. Our Oscar parties used to get out of hand when my best friend inevitability drank too much and started screaming about bad face lifts, but she has been in AA for four years now. Thanks for helping! I appreciate this group!5
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Hi Friends, I’m at a three day family reunion this week. So, tonight was the first dinner out all together. My usual partners in crime (two cousins) and I usually love to have a few drinks and catch up on life. So, one cousin pointed out the strawberry vodka lemonade drink, so I told them both very casually that I quit drinking a few weeks ago. I liked alcohol too much and it liked me too much. So, I had to just quit. They were a little surprised- I could see in their eyes, but they said oh ok. Nothing else was said, and I filled up on club soda once again.
Side note about club soda: After two sodas, my stomach gets so uncomfortable and bloated. I guess before you know it I’ll just have to stick with plain old water. I’m feeling good overall, and I think my skin is starting to look better and face less bloated. The only problem is I’m not sleeping well at all.
@donimfp I think it wont end up being a big deal. I bet your friends will understand. The less said the better, I think. I’d just say I’m not drinking alcohol but I dont mind if you do. Then, just have wine at the table. No need for hard liquor anyway.4 -
My go-to mocktail ingredient lately is apricot nectar.
I have it at dinner with either sparkling water, or if I have spare calories, dry ginger.3 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »[...] I quit drinking a few weeks ago. [...]I’m feeling good overall, and I think my skin is starting to look better and face less bloated. The only problem is I’m not sleeping well at all.
Well done for realising the solution to your battle with alcohol, and sticking to it.
Are other things in your life not going as well that might be causing the poor sleep?
Just remember, things would only be worse if you were drinking like you used to. Hugs.3 -
Julie, ask for seltzer water instead of club soda. The sodium in CS could be making you feel bloated and retain water whereas Selzter water has none. I stayed dry this weekend, its only been 7 sober days for me but I already feel better. I figured the amount I would have consumed (probably 3 bottles of wine over the weekend) saved me a minimum of 45.00, more if I had drinks while we were in restaurants, and 1800 calories.4
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I have a personal challenge for everyone this week. At least 3 times this week turn on one of your favorite upbeat songs and dance. If, like me, you can't dance that well then dance awkwardly. Have yourself a 2-3 minute celebration whether you have a good reason or not. It doesn't matter if you do it alone or with someone else.8
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Last day of the long weekend in my part of the world. I'm on HOLIDAYS for the rest of the week so WOOHOO!!
I went to the beach with some friends yesterday & it never even entered my mind that there was no alcohol until this morning when I was catching up on the posts here. So even though it's only been a couple of months, it seems that I'm becoming accustomed to a different way of life. A life where alcohol isn't the center & all else revolves around it. It feels good to be freed from what was, for me, an obsession & freed from the internal conflict of feeling the need to drink & really wishing I didn't feel the need.
I hope everyone feels good about their choices this weekend.
What will I do today??? HMMMM?? Whatever I'd like!! YAY!!
May everyone have a good week!!
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I have a personal challenge for everyone this week. At least 3 times this week turn on one of your favorite upbeat songs and dance. If, like me, you can't dance that well then dance awkwardly. Have yourself a 2-3 minute celebration whether you have a good reason or not. It doesn't matter if you do it alone or with someone else.
As they say dance like no one is watching! I like your idea. Music is a great motivator and inspiration!1 -
Today will be day 8 for me! I've made it a whole week! I was a little tempted this weekend to kick back with a drink but I just stayed busy and tried not to think about it. We're going to a minor league baseball game this Friday night downtown where I would usually have a few IPA's beforehand then drink their overpriced beer during the game. I might partake, and if I do I want that to be the only day in August that's not AF. That's the only event this month that I feel I would miss it for.
I hope every one had a successful weekend, whatever your goals!6 -
I cut back on my drinking. Drinking was the main reason in my mind for weight gain over the last 25 years. I tend to want to drink between 5 and 7 at night. I noticed that if I ate dinner before my first drink, I no longer craved it. There is some connection there. I limit myself to one drink a night and 2 days a week, I abstain. Blood pressure is back to normal, blood work is looking great after 5 months of changing my diet. I never intend to quit drinking or eating the foods that I like. I found that moderation does work for me.8
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@Callandscaper, that sounds like a great moderation plan. I'm glad that works for you!
@RubyRed427, have you tried subbing sparkling water (Pellegrino or Perrier) for the club soda? I can't tolerate soda either, but the water is fine. I have trouble finding good subs for alcohol because I don't like sweet "mocktails," but I do get sick of plain old water. This weekend my husband mixed grapefruit juice and diet ginger ale, and I really liked it. Heavier on the juice so not so sweet. He laughed when he offered me a second one and I said, "No, one's my limit."
On that note, I've noticed that I expect to have a drink in my hand pretty constantly, albeit a non-alcoholic drink. I wonder when that will fade. Surely other non-drinkers don't constantly need to be drinking something. I guess that's a habit I got into with the alcohol.
Have a great week, everyone.3 -
Callandscaper wrote: »I cut back on my drinking. Drinking was the main reason in my mind for weight gain over the last 25 years. I tend to want to drink between 5 and 7 at night. I noticed that if I ate dinner before my first drink, I no longer craved it. There is some connection there. I limit myself to one drink a night and 2 days a week, I abstain. Blood pressure is back to normal, blood work is looking great after 5 months of changing my diet. I never intend to quit drinking or eating the foods that I like. I found that moderation does work for me.
Great post! I think you got it figured out. Congrats for five months of moderating. Xo1
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