The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Good morning all. @donimfp thanks for that insight and congrats on 40 days!!! I too find I have much more energy sober. However, I did eat way too much bad stuff yesterday so I thought I'd try the 5/2 intermittent fast, today being a fast day to get back on track. I am also making much better choices as far as fruits and veggies. When I was drinking I wanted pizza and greasy cheeseburgers! Our farmers market here is open on Sundays and I love it but it's pouring rain so we will pass on that this week.3
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A mix of emotions today. We were at the Jersey Shore this weekend to spread the ashes of a good friend on a beach she loved. We had a lot in common we met at industry classes and continuing education seminars over 32 years ago and shared business discussions and also countless hours on a bar stool after meetings. Over 10 years ago I started to have health scares and changed she never really did and her health suffered over the years culminating in a quad bypass 2 years ago last February and eventually having to be on Oxygen full time. She would comment on my fitness and lament the fact sometime that she hadn't joined me. After her heart attack she stopped drinking, couldn't drink the first 2 months she was still hospitalized. The Dr. warned her no more after she went home. Unfortunately too late, and she passed Christmas day.
Some of the people gathered there hadn't seen me in those ten years and walked right by at the beach till I said " no hello" and their jaws dropped 10 years older but 170 pounds lighter. Of course the questions how did you do it. So I said simply put I stopped drinking and eventually started running up to 6 miles a day. You could see it in their eyes as they said OH no that's not for me. I guess they feel its better to have people gather to spread your ashes than to get healthy.
I raise a glass to my friend but its not alcohol I am toasting with10 -
I come from a family of alcoholics. My 17 first cousins over the years have dropped off due to heavy alcoholism. So far out of 17, three have died from heart attacks in their fifties. No, it’s not hereditary to have heart problems- the extreme drinking has caused this. The ones who have died were the more serious drinkers out of all of us. I’m the second youngest of the cousins. That’s all we saw growing up- tight knit family, tons of get togethers, and tons of drinking. I remember seeing vodka bottles on the table near the uncles and aunts. And they each had a bottle, not sharing them. It’s usually not too late for the body to regenerate after you quit, but for some, they never got that far.
@Ke22yB Your story reminded me of my cousins. After the funerals, all the cousins went out for drinks...5 -
@KeY22yB, thanks for the powerful post--definitely thought provoking. That must have been especially sad for you. Sometimes I (now) think of people like those drinkers you and @RubyRed427 mention and think, "It's not that hard, people, you can do it!" But I know how hard it seems when you are in the midst of it. I feel like I have been given a second chance. I wish everyone could feel the same.6
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I also grew up with alcoholics, married one, am one. So much here I can relate to. Is so hard to give up drinking, even with all the bad memories. There are so many good memories too. And bittersweet.
Day 6 and feeling ok. Have a great day everyone. And as always, thanks for sharing
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Alcohol has loomed large in my life. My mother and my husband were/are alcoholics. My mother never quit, and it made for a difficult childhood and a very strained relationship after I moved out. My husband started drinking heavily around his 50th birthday, and ended up in rehab. He's been sober now about 10 years. In support, I have stopped drinking too. It wasn't a struggle for me, because I guess the alcoholic gene bypassed me. It's a small price to pay for my husband's sobriety. I miss being able to have a glass of wine with him in the evening, but it's not the end of the world. My daughter in law is an alcoholic too. My stepson seems to be in the stage of "wishing it weren't so".
For all of you, even if you only have 1 day sober on the books, you should be proud of yourself and I salute you for taking a step in the right direction. Stay strong!9 -
@RubyRed427 @karenesg @donimfp Ditto, Ditto, Ditto!! And YES, I wish everyone could feel the same also. @elsie6hickman You stay strong too!! Hugs to everyone
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elsie6hickman wrote: »Alcohol has loomed large in my life. My mother and my husband were/are alcoholics. My mother never quit, and it made for a difficult childhood and a very strained relationship after I moved out. My husband started drinking heavily around his 50th birthday, and ended up in rehab. He's been sober now about 10 years. In support, I have stopped drinking too. It wasn't a struggle for me, because I guess the alcoholic gene bypassed me. It's a small price to pay for my husband's sobriety. I miss being able to have a glass of wine with him in the evening, but it's not the end of the world. My daughter in law is an alcoholic too. My stepson seems to be in the stage of "wishing it weren't so".
For all of you, even if you only have 1 day sober on the books, you should be proud of yourself and I salute you for taking a step in the right direction. Stay strong!
Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, you’re right we all should be proud, one step at a time.... Alcohol is a devious thing- sorry to hear that your stepson and his wife are having problems. Perhaps, ALNON (not sure the spelling) could help him deal with it. My friend said it helped her immensely before her husband finally quit alcohol.
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@RubyRed427 @elsie6hickman Al anon
it helps some people, other's inherently know how to do it, and yet others are "fine" and don't need help
@Ke22yB when a friend od'd, his family had the wake at a bar
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RubyRed427 wrote: »
My sister told me once that as long as your sober 99 percent of the time- you’re doing just fine. She says once a year she has a glass of wine but she is a non-drinker in her eyes and mine. It’s all relative.
@RudyRed427.... I want to know what you gifted yourself!!!
I like this idea and think that for some of us, it may resonate deeply. Having X number of days sober now, I feel like it's something that I'm supposed to cling to so I get super nervous when I think about drinking again, and I feel like this nervousness and anxiety is disempowering and harmful to my process. So, I stick with the "I'm probably going to have a beer again someday, but not today." How about this idea? Some of us may be AF while some of us may be SOBER. Let's discuss.
I avoided a fun girls night this weekend because I knew who would be there and exactly what it would be like. The person throwing the gathering is my sometimes-supervisor, and I've had a few very fun nights with her, and next-days when both of us have been sheepish about our bawdy behavior. This is not why I didn't go though. I didn't go because I knew that I'd tell myself I'd only have 2 (okay, 3, no, 4, etc), I'd go beyond my limit, I'd for sure have SO MUCH FUN!, and then I'd drive home drunk. I KNEW this would happen FOR A FACT so.... I chose to not do any of it. I stayed home, made some great food, worked on my house and yard a ton, got my abode settled, slept well, worked out, and felt like sore (in the best way), rested, and full of gratitude. I'm so grateful to be in this place, at this time.5 -
I'm so grateful to be in this place, at this time.
This is exactly how I feel. Grateful. Not by any means over-confident, but grateful for these 41 days. At night, when I turn out the light over the kitchen sink and realize that not only are the dishes done, but the kitchen is gleaming and that I'm heading for soothing routines like moisturizing and then reading a good book with a nice cup of tea or nice glass of San Pellegrino by my side . . . I just have to say "Thank You" that I'm in this very different and much better place than I was in just a short time ago.
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Great posts everybody trip to Cali went fine but today I feel sort of anxious/depressed,maybe it's just being back to reality and work,meh 3
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@joha5603 Good story about your weekend. That sounds pretty much like me most weekends lately. I turn down invitations that involve a lot of drinking; I just don’t feel like going out when the goal is to party with alcohol. You ended up having a perfect “me” evening- you did things you wanted to do, felt accomplished, worked out, got good sleep and felt peaceful with your choice. I’m really happy for you! And then the next day, you didn’t have any hangover or regrets. Awesome!
For my 50th AF day, I bought candles, cute clothes and perfume I’ve wanted to buy but always thought it was too expensive. I view the perfume as my AF present. Every time I wear it, I’ll remember all the hard work it took to get to 50. Xo3 -
This weekend, we are going to the “islands” here on a lake. It’s like Margaritaville for Ohioans. We will be staying on a boat all weekend; this will involved lots of wine and beers, food, and chatting. Now, the dilemma is I’m the only one who will be sober. The others will drink a bunch and then we go to the little bars. So, I will try to be a good sport and smile my way through the weekend. I hope I can keep a good attitude and not feel resentful. I do know that the mornings on a boat will be so much better without a hangover.
Then, I will have to repeat this the following weekend. Same islands but with different people (equally hard drinkers)....
I’ll try to be a good sport and see the positives. I survived a sober weekend in Nashville and had no regrets. Still had a lot of fun! Wishing everyone a “successful sober September”. Say that three times!5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »This weekend, we are going to the “islands” here on a lake. It’s like Margaritaville for Ohioans. We will be staying on a boat all weekend; this will involved lots of wine and beers, food, and chatting. Now, the dilemma is I’m the only one who will be sober. The others will drink a bunch and then we go to the little bars. So, I will try to be a good sport and smile my way through the weekend. I hope I can keep a good attitude and not feel resentful. I do know that the mornings on a boat will be so much better without a hangover.
Then, I will have to repeat this the following weekend. Same islands but with different people (equally hard drinkers)....
I’ll try to be a good sport and see the positives. I survived a sober weekend in Nashville and had no regrets. Still had a lot of fun! Wishing everyone a “successful sober September”. Say that three times!
Oh my goodness, good luck! I would have a REALLY hard time with that. Considering I always put social gatherings together with drinking.... especially in that type of environment. You sound very positive tho and i'm sure you'll do great! Have fun!5 -
@RubyRed427 I know you've got this! You will feel so much better than everyone else! I can't imagine having a hangover on a rocking boat. Ugh!
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@RubyRed427, perhaps it is because I hang with a crowd older than yours but I quit drinking nearly 5 years ago and very few said a word. The less you make of it, the less anyone will care.
I suppose my standard answer as to why I no longer drink is "Because I don't want to". Then I change the subject. Actually, my approach was/is similar with questions about food choices. There's no need to elaborate and cause others to feel defensive, uncomfortable (or whatever) about their scotch and water or piece of cake and ice cream.
Just do you. You really owe no one any explanation regarding your choices. Besides, no one probably want to hear "the whys" at a party anyway.
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@RubyRed427,m
I suppose my standard answer as to why I no longer drink is "Because I don't want to". Then I change the subject. Actually, my approach was/is similar with questions about food choices. There's no need to elaborate and cause others to feel defensive, uncomfortable (or whatever) about their scotch and water or piece of cake and ice cream.
Just do you. You really owe no one any explanation regarding your choices. Besides, no one probably want to hear "the whys" at a party anyway.
Thanks to everyone for excellent advice and support !3 -
@RubyRed427, my wish for you is that you find some unexpected delights you never would have discovered if you were drinking. Are these the islands in Lake Erie perchance? I ask because Kylie Logan has some cheesy cozy mysteries set there— on South Bass Island. They are pure bubble gum but could be a fun guilty pleasure if that’s where you’ll be.
Anyway, hoping you are surprised by joy.4 -
@RubyRed427 .... this weekend sounds like it will be challenging, but just remember how awesome those non-hangover mornings feel: AMAZING! Be strong, Ruby!
I was woken up this weekend by drunk neighbors at 2 AM. It was hilarious! I wasn't mad (seriously, they were having so much fun I couldn't be mad) but it was funny to listen to them talk. No one heard each other, cared about what anyone else was saying... it felt vaguely familiar... vaguely... Lol.5 -
@RubyRed427, my wish for you is that you find some unexpected delights you never would have discovered if you were drinking. Are these the islands in Lake Erie perchance? I ask because Kylie Logan has some cheesy cozy mysteries set there— on South Bass Island. They are pure bubble gum but could be a fun guilty pleasure if that’s where you’ll be.
Anyway, hoping you are surprised by joy.
Good morning ☀️ yes the islands Put-n-Bay.0 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »
Good morning ☀️ yes the islands Put-n-Bay.
Oh, boy! Hang in there, that is a helluva party spot! Stay out of the pool! ;-) I say that because of a video my friends were sharing. I'm in suburban Detroit and know many who go every year. I remember how successful your Nashville trip was and how proud you were of yourself, I know you can do it again.
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@RubyRed427 Good morning ☀️ yes the islands Put-n-Bay
Julie I have not been to Put-n-Bay in 31 years, when I used to live in Ohio. That is a fun spot. My regret is not being able to remember a majority of how much fun there was to be had. Wish I could be there to experience an alcohol free weekend with you. I am pretty sure we could tear up the place even AF.
Will be thinking of you.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning ☀️ yes the islands Put-n-Bay.
OK, then. You might enjoy the Ladies' Literary League. That's where they're set.2 -
When someone asks me why I don't drink anymore, I say, "I actually just kind of lost my taste for it." Who can argue with that? No one is going to tell you to eat or drink something you don't "like" anymore, right? People usually just nod or say "oh!" and that is the end of it.7
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning ☀️ yes the islands Put-n-Bay.
OK, then. You might enjoy the Ladies' Literary League. That's where they're set.
Thanks, I’ll check it out. I’m sure I’ll even find the books in a gift shop there.0 -
@joha5603 I think it works because it doesn't involve anyone else's drinking habits. If I say what I am REALLY thinking, "Because it's poison and it is killing me....and you" that would not go over so well LOL.3
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