Worst advice you've seen on these boards

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Replies

  • wildestian
    wildestian Posts: 188 Member
    You guys are bursting all my bubbles here - I was planning on eating a bag of Oreos (seriously, that sounds so awesome right now - better go eat dinner FAST), following that with some celery for some negative calories, all while walking around the mall in my toning shoes! Now how on earth am I going to lose weight?

    ROLF!
  • agthorn
    agthorn Posts: 1,844 Member
    "Only pure water counts as water, nothing else!"

    So if I drink a glass of water and then a) eat a packet of crystal light, b) eat a tea bag, c) take a no-doz, d) take a shot of vodka, e) breathe* (?) I didn't really drink that glass of water after all? I guess these people all must have home distillers too, because even water from a bottle or your tap still has dissolved minerals, probably a few harmless microorganisms, and a little bit of sediment in it.

    * I saw someone say that they didn't even count plain carbonated water as water. This is where my metaphor breaks down...
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    "Only pure water counts as water, nothing else!"

    So if I drink a glass of water and then a) eat a packet of crystal light, b) eat a tea bag, c) take a no-doz, d) take a shot of vodka, e) breathe* (?) I didn't really drink that glass of water after all? I guess these people all must have home distillers too, because even water from a bottle or your tap still has dissolved minerals, probably a few harmless microorganisms, and a little bit of sediment in it.

    * I saw someone say that they didn't even count plain carbonated water as water. This is where my metaphor breaks down...

    pure rocky mountain spring water with just a little bit of hops, malt and barley has to count as water!
  • cmsiemsen
    cmsiemsen Posts: 78 Member
    I saw someone post that vegetables are "negative calories."

    Maybe the person that has posted this is a diabetic and has learned that vegatables are negative calories.

    lmao: veggies are great for everyone *including* diabetics.
  • TK421NotAtPost
    TK421NotAtPost Posts: 512 Member
    What irks me the most is seeing powerlifter dudes advocating a 5x5 program of heavy lifts to people who have never in their life done a push-up let alone touched a free weight.

    Advocating heavy lifting to someone who has no experience in form, technique and the fundamentals of movement for any given exercise, is simply asking for a serious injury.

    +1
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    These all make me giggle.

    My favorite happened the other day when someone told a poster not to bother with an HRM and that she could just make a number and it would be just as accurate.. uh yea ok!

    Basically all the HRM posts in general.. and the TOM posts... You get some wacky advice on those things!
  • TipMcE
    TipMcE Posts: 158
    Can anyone tell me how many calories I burned reading this thread and laughing so hard it hurt?? :laugh:

    My favorite has to be when people write in with a question about eating exercise calories and then vehemently disagree with anyone who tries to talk sense to them. Clearly they were just looking for justification to starve themselves.
  • AZackery
    AZackery Posts: 2,035 Member
    lmao: veggies are great for everyone *including* diabetics.

    I never said that vegetables aren't good for diabetics. I take it you aren't a diabetic or don't know anything about diabetes. Diabetics can have vegetables, just like everyone else. Food works differently in a person that's a diabetic. Get educated about diabetes, before you try to be funny.
  • ambermichon
    ambermichon Posts: 404 Member
    Do only cardio and lose the weight FIRST before incorporating strength training into your routine. :grumble:

    UGh this is the worst!!
  • lookpretty
    lookpretty Posts: 276 Member
    Has everyone forgotten that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat?

    WhenI was little my dad used to ask me which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers
  • kellybones
    kellybones Posts: 281 Member
    *bump* so I can keep reading these all night and keep laughing all night

    I wish I had something new to add but I think you guys have hit all the biggies
  • EvaJanes
    EvaJanes Posts: 37 Member
    This is not from this site but actually something that I hear at work. ( I work in an Ice cream/chocolate store)

    "I'm a diabetic and I feel weak, where are you diabetic/sugar free chocolates?"

    "Its better for a diabetic to eat artificial sweeteners (even the sugar alcohols) then it is for them to eat real sugar. (even if it means eating healthier to eat the real stuff)
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Can anyone tell me how many calories I burned reading this thread and laughing so hard it hurt?? :laugh:

    My favorite has to be when people write in with a question about eating exercise calories and then vehemently disagree with anyone who tries to talk sense to them. Clearly they were just looking for justification to starve themselves.

    whatever you burned, be sure to eat them back!
  • Don't eat fish, you'll die from the mercury poisioning. *SMH*
  • ME: "I'm 245lbs at 5ft" "I've been Walking 2 miles everyday for 4 days straight"
    HIM: "Naw, See what you need to do is start runny (yes, he spelled it that way lol) at 5mph for 60mins...the weight will gone in no time"
    ME: "I'm sure it will.....along with my life"
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    "How do I log sex in my exercise log?"

    Sorry, but unless you're a porn star, you probably burn more calories putting the groceries away:laugh:
  • Mitchlou84
    Mitchlou84 Posts: 135
    Yes there are some very funny comments, no one should be aiming for less 100lb surely as a target weight and you should eat fruit however the reason why these questions keep getting asked is that everyone is confusing people! Even on this thread there is confusing advice! Celery does give negative calories, however I wouldn’t log it as negative because a general burn rate is calculated for all expenditure, inc digestion! You wouldn’t log digestion cals for anything else would you?

    I’m quite new to this site and also quite new to the calorie counting, I’m not stupid, but I genuinely do get confused about things like exercise cals! Do I eat them back, don’t I? Does it matter if I net under 1200 cals occasionally? I am eating between 1500-1800 cals a day but exercising quite a lot, I don’t feel like I need more than 1800 cals of food, yet that could mean on a day I do Bodypump and Body Attack that I net less than 1000. I eat whenever I’m hungry! I still don’t understand if I should ensure I eat up to 1200 net, seems alien to me as I feel like I’ve eaten plenty! I have heaps of energy!

    Also I know that 1lb fat and muscle weigh the same but that muscle is denser etc. I understand that you aren’t going to put 3lb on in a week of doing some strength training, but I have had weeks where I have stayed the same in terms of my weight loss, but have exercised and cal counted diligently. I have only lost 8lb, yet dropped a dress size after 5lb. I am doing Body Pump 3x a week plus heaps of cardio inc RPM and running. My bum and legs feel great! Would bodypump cause me to lose size but not weight? If I lost a dress size every half stone I would be a UK sized 10 weighing 14 stone – unlikely. So something isn’t adding up for me!

    By all means tell people when they give really stupid advice! But the reason people keep asking questions about the muscle v fat scenario and the exercise cals scenario is that they are being completely bewildered by conflicting advice!
  • I saw a recipe for chocolate chip cookies with bacon bits in em. LOL
  • Bumping for later.
  • slofitness1978
    slofitness1978 Posts: 91 Member
    Great thread!
  • Judas_Queen
    Judas_Queen Posts: 251 Member
    Run heel-to-toe!

    no no NO NO NO!!!! Unless you wanna eff up your joints, you need to land mid-foot (or slightly forward of mid-foot).

    So me running on the balls of my feet when i pick up speed/widen my stride, or generally stomping on the flatness of my feet is okay?

    I was always told heel-toe but it hurts my bad knee :( I'm so confused!
  • lesley1981
    lesley1981 Posts: 329 Member
    "How do I log sex in my exercise log?"

    Sorry, but unless you're a porn star, you probably burn more calories putting the groceries away:laugh:

    This reminds me fo another EPIC thread some time ago.... someone posted some bad advice, and when her diary was looked at, she's actually logged teaspoons of sperm!!!
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    Some of these are proper LOL. :laugh: Keep 'em coming!!
  • glfprncs2
    glfprncs2 Posts: 625 Member
    Women should never lift anything heavier than a 5 pound dumbbell because it will make them 'bulky.' Sigh...
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Sue you can lose 10lb for your holiday next month, even though you're already only 120lbs.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    So me running on the balls of my feet when i pick up speed/widen my stride, or generally stomping on the flatness of my feet is okay?

    I was always told heel-toe but it hurts my bad knee :( I'm so confused!
    Heel toe was what they taught decades ago. The general feeling now is to land naturally. For me, I get hellish shin splints if I try to deliberately put my heel down first.

    Don't go overboard with barefoot or POSE or Chi Running techniques, just let your leg swing naturally forward to directly under your body and let your foot land comfortably, not slamming it flat down. You should really not have to think about it, like walking, and it should be quiet.

    Running on the balls of your feet is only for sprinting, but some people land on the balls of their feet then le. Watch Paula Radcliffe's feet here to get a good idea of mid-foot landing at speed.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jJ7bWJfp64
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member

    I’m quite new to this site and also quite new to the calorie counting, I’m not stupid, but I genuinely do get confused about things like exercise cals! Do I eat them back, don’t I? Does it matter if I net under 1200 cals occasionally? I am eating between 1500-1800 cals a day but exercising quite a lot, I don’t feel like I need more than 1800 cals of food, yet that could mean on a day I do Bodypump and Body Attack that I net less than 1000. I eat whenever I’m hungry! I still don’t understand if I should ensure I eat up to 1200 net, seems alien to me as I feel like I’ve eaten plenty! I have heaps of energy!

    I don't know what there is to be confused about. It's not an exact science. Eat what you need not to feel hungry. If you have a fair bit of weight to lose it doesn't matter what you net. Everything balances out over a week or a month or whatever anyway. Think about when you are ill. You may eat nothing for a couple of days, but that doesn't matter, because it's only a couple of days. It doesn't matter if one or two days a week you net under 1000, if the other days you net 1800. As long as you are getting enough food you aren't starving yourself, it really doesn't matter.
  • OP: "I gained 3 pounds in the past week. I've been strength training some."
    First responder: you gained muscle.
    Haha was it me im sure it was, well worth a shot i guessed !!!LOL
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    "I'm on a three day X fast, DON'T JUDGE ME!!!"

    Where X = water and lemon, juice, cabbage soup, kumquats, overpriced snake oil etc.
  • Judas_Queen
    Judas_Queen Posts: 251 Member
    So me running on the balls of my feet when i pick up speed/widen my stride, or generally stomping on the flatness of my feet is okay?

    I was always told heel-toe but it hurts my bad knee :( I'm so confused!
    Heel toe was what they taught decades ago. The general feeling now is to land naturally. For me, I get hellish shin splints if I try to deliberately put my heel down first.

    Don't go overboard with barefoot or POSE or Chi Running techniques, just let your leg swing naturally forward to directly under your body and let your foot land comfortably, not slamming it flat down. You should really not have to think about it, like walking, and it should be quiet.

    Running on the balls of your feet is only for sprinting, but some people land on the balls of their feet then le. Watch Paula Radcliffe's feet here to get a good idea of mid-foot landing at speed.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jJ7bWJfp64

    Wow thanks for all of that :) Will check that out now.. i'm quite a noisy walker at times, and rather heavy footed so i do sound like i stomp sometimes when i run... :/ is that bad?!
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