The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@Drummer913--thank you. It is possible to repair the damage. I am sorry. Anything is possible. Stay strong with your determination and they will see it. I regret at least one incident when I was mad at my daughter. I was a single parent at the time and she was doing some things I didn't like. I yelled, threw my phone and had a fit. I never touched her, but made both of my kids scared and mad. They were probably the age of your kids at the time. My son searched my room, when I was downstairs having the fit, and found all my empty stashed liquor bottles from all over and lined them up on the floor with a note in permanent marker on the hardwood floor to me. Yes I was over the top. I deserved something that is for sure. He regretted it. He wasn't the only one. My daughter says that she has forgiven me, but not over what had happened. We talk and see each other every week. I bought them gifts, apologized and said that it would never happen again like that. I can't drink or it may happen. One of the best things, no matter how hard, and it is darn hard, is to keep not drinking. Keep going! You are doing great!!4
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Thank you everyone.2
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@salleewins I wish I could come over, have some tea, and give you the biggest hug. I am so sorry you have this pain. It’s just not right to lose a son or daughter. I am so sad for you. Xo
I also admire your strength and courage to get out of bed each morning, to stay AF, and muster on. Lean on us. Xo4 -
@Drummer913 We have kids the same ages. I can relate to you in a way. I drank in front of them, on vacations, on holidays, and out to dinner. My daughter and son would look at me disapprovingly when I’d order my second martini. Now, it’s quite embarrassing to think about. I would be hiding in the bathroom with the fan on throwing up, hoping no one heard me. I know I wasn’t fooling them. I wasnt a mean drunk but I was a crying drunk. They wouldnt know why I was crying. I shudder now. We all have regrets. We can just look ahead, make improvements, and slowly they will come around and forgive you.4
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@Orphia I like that phrase “you do you”. That’s exactly correct.
I have recently developed a bad habit with my husband. When he has some alcohol, I snicker and say “i guess I’m just stronger than you.” Or something like that.
I realize that I am being haughty and rude actually to him. I will stop that behavior. I’ll just worry about me.5 -
@joha5603 I feel for you. I have been hungover many Saturdays.... dragging myself to the kitchen and then back to bed. It’s a cute card though. It made me smile. (Even though I know it had a sad context. )2
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@CarvedTones I agree with you. There is an underlying pain we with addictions have. We have to figure out the real root of the problem and what we are trying to mask. I recommend therapy. I go once a month and have found it to be valuable. I’m hoping for you a peaceful resolution. Xo
@mbaker566 Good insightful comments.0 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@CarvedTones I agree with you. There is an underlying pain we with addictions have. We have to figure out the real root of the problem and what we are trying to mask. I recommend therapy. I go once a month and have found it to be valuable. I’m hoping for you a peaceful resolution. Xo
I haven't been recently but I have been in and out of therapy for years. I have seen my psychiatrist and my primary during my time AF. I have type 2 bipolar disorder so I have to go in for med checks with my psychiatrist and she also talks to me about substance abuse. My primary also helps with tracking my progress in beating substance abuse. I came out to her about it when I knew I needed to make a change. I confessed to faking bad post nasal drip coughs that I said weren't being helped by OTC cough medicine to get codeine cough syrup. That was really hard . I was crying when I finished telling her and when I looked up, she was too. She sat and talked with me a while. Sometimes when you are waiting for your doctor (she is actually an NP), they get delayed because someone sprang a problem on them and they help. I hope she stays with the practice; I can never switch.6 -
CarvedTones wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »@CarvedTones I agree with you. There is an underlying pain we with addictions have. We have to figure out the real root of the problem and what we are trying to mask. I recommend therapy. I go once a month and have found it to be valuable. I’m hoping for you a peaceful resolution. Xo
I haven't been recently but I have been in and out of therapy for years. I have seen my psychiatrist and my primary during my time AF. I have type 2 bipolar disorder so I have to go in for med checks with my psychiatrist and she also talks to me about substance abuse. My primary also helps with tracking my progress in beating substance abuse. I came out to her about it when I knew I needed to make a change. I confessed to faking bad post nasal drip coughs that I said weren't being helped by OTC cough medicine to get codeine cough syrup. That was really hard . I was crying when I finished telling her and when I looked up, she was too. She sat and talked with me a while. Sometimes when you are waiting for your doctor (she is actually an NP), they get delayed because someone sprang a problem on them and they help. I hope she stays with the practice; I can never switch.
There is something cleansing about cutting the B.S. and speaking the truth. It takes courage though. I know you have other issues to deal with which makes me even more proud of you. I am happy you found your NP to be empathetic. I think I could also speak the truth to my doctor (I’ve been going to her for 20 years) and have a physical coming up. I’m going to tell her about my drinking and now abstinence.5 -
Wishing you all a lovely weekend!
@JenT304 I hope this weekend you will feel much better! If not, binge watch some shows, read magazines, take long baths and sip hot tea with honey. Xo2 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@Orphia I like that phrase “you do you”. That’s exactly correct.
I have recently developed a bad habit with my husband. When he has some alcohol, I snicker and say “i guess I’m just stronger than you.” Or something like that.
I realize that I am being haughty and rude actually to him. I will stop that behavior. I’ll just worry about me.
Hugs, @RubyRed427 Well spoken.
It wasn't as hard as I thought. I decided to be a nice person to him, as the resentment wasn't doing either of us any good.
It was part of the emergence of trying to "rise above" a difficult situation that I have a theme going with now.
Good luck, sweetie. xx
Hugs to @salleewins too.
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In case you didn't see me post this elsewhere:
I read this in the Hello Sunday Morning newsletter today:
" I truly love this new version of me. BUT I cannot forget that the me that did all the partying and drinking and numbing WAS STILL ME. I cannot discount her or smudge her out, or harshly judge her for the things she did in her mission to survive. This new chapter of my life is amazing and she got me here and I am so grateful for her. I forgive her. I love her."4 -
@salleewins You are so brave. I'm sending light and love.
@drummer913 Don't give up hope that things will improve with your kids. They are young and have many years in front of them to see you sober. I would consider professional counseling on how to communicate with them...how to talk to them about your new found sobriety, or if you even should. In my case, I didn't announce my sobriety but just stopped drinking. My one daughter that lives nearby has surely noticed. The one overseas will notice when we go at Christmas.3 -
@mbaker566 I agree "drinking & using is but a symptom" of an underlying problem. It only masks the problem & creates more problems. @Orphia I love that quote. There is a balancing act embracing our new AF life, but not forgetting where we were, accepting that & forgiving ourselves for that. Thank you for sharing that really good reminder.
It made me think about how much time & energy & attention I gave to my ex-husband's drinking problem way back when as I was actually developing my own special blend of a drinking issue. He was the fall down, absent for weekends at a time, train wreck and I was the binge drinker who set out to get drunk when I had it "up to here" to escape my crappy life. I had LOTS of issues, but was WAY too busy focusing on his. I remember a therapist we were seeing together through a treatment program that he was attending said to me that the person who is with an alcoholic is often as sick, OR sicker than the alcoholic!! Of course, she didn't share that with me until I was "ready" but it was still a punch to the gut and the first of many awakenings for me...Really, if I were an emotionally healthy individual back then I would never have put up with the abuse that I lived through. It's been a long hard road with a long ways to go, but I'm on the road thankfully. AND I'm still a piece of work but hopefully a piece of work in progress!!!
6 MONTHS AF yesterday!!! Woo Hoo!
To all!!!8 -
@lorrainequiche59 Wonderful! Congrats on 6 months!!!Bravo!0
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@lorrainequiche59 - 6 months is a very big deal. It was around that time that I started having a big change in mindset that sounds like a little tweak but it's not. Early on, not drinking was a thing I did. By that I mean there was a little effort at times, the sigh at others and a lot of internally kicking myself when I was in a situation where others were drinking socially and I couldn't. I was self conscious about it and thought people noticed that I wasn't drinking and assumed the reason why. As time went by, drinking became a thing I just didn't do and politely declining became second nature. Turns out lots of people don't drink or seldom do and others really don't take much note of it. If they do, so what? Anyway, congratulations!3
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I have today OFF!!!! YAY! Anyway, I changed my profile pic AGAIN! Although, it's too wee to see LOL. I'm not sure how to make it bigger, but hey, I figured out how to post a pic AND I didn't have to rotate this one for some unknown reason. It's a pic of my pup with my "Count Your Blessings" sign in the background. He is one of my blessings wrapped in hair.
I'm eating breakfast in bed, yay me! Then I'm tackling some organization projects...only two & one is just a closet tidy & my Granny flat needs a bit of TLC as in vacuuming & laundry & then I need to run to town to do a couple errands...in between all that, I am reading some of my novel, having a luxurious bath & finishing my Netflix show The Final Table....
Days off are way better AF cause I don't feel sluggish from Wine Eve & I'm not setting my day up to start drinking as soon as it's "five o'clock somewhere!" And I will get all my chores done without leaving a couple out because it's time to drink & "there's always tomorrow" Does that ring true with anyone? Putting your life off till "tomorrow." Now to apply that to my food issues LOL!5 -
Hi everyone! Wow! So inspiring to see such a thread on a fitness site. I've been looking for a group that had/have some of the same struggles as I do. I haven't started "not drinking" yet, but I surely plan on it. I've been researching and pulling out my old books to start my journey to sobriety. I love wine! I'll drink a bottle every night...it's more so habit than anything else for me. I don't crave or think about alcohol during work or anything like that, but once I'm home, cooked, child in bed, I'm ready for my wine! I know for a fact wine is the cause of my out-of-shape(ness) and overall big belly and fat neck/face! I hate it! I have to stop it! So any motivation, inspiration, tips are welcomed!!!! HAPPY SOBRIETY TO EVERYONE! YOU GOT THIS5
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RubyRed427 wrote: »
I absolutely love this quote!!! Thanks for sharing6 -
Today wraps up 10 weeks of sobriety for me and I'm stoked about it! I am especially stoked given that I have had an incredibly difficult last 4 weeks and I am still going strong. I appreciate the support and insight I've received here, and feel like I've turned a corner. ...like, maybe I'm almost ready to go out in a social setting and not drink? Lol... baby steps.10
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