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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight much less the week. Someone said something to me that hurt so deeply that it shook me to my core. It hurt because they said it. It hurt because it seems like an honest assessment and it hurts most that there's nothing I can do to change it. Right now as I write I'm bingeing on rocky road ice cream. We'll see what happens after the sugar rush sets in.9
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Hi, I'm on day 3. I actually lost almost all the weight 4 years ago and one key was being one year and a half sober. It's tough, I lost many friends, not really lost them but I was not cool anymore. And in any dinner they were all trying to get me drunk. So I had to pass on many social plans. It was very tough from that perspective. I didn't miss it, my body surely didn't but socially it was a disaster. Anyway here we are again.
After a christmas of a couple of bad binges, really feeling destroyed for a couple of days after I feel not worth it for the time being. Day by day.
Cheers to everyone.8 -
Lastchancetochange wrote: »Hi, I'm on day 3. I actually lost almost all the weight 4 years ago and one key was being one year and a half sober. It's tough, I lost many friends, not really lost them but I was not cool anymore. And in any dinner they were all trying to get me drunk. So I had to pass on many social plans. It was very tough from that perspective. I didn't miss it, my body surely didn't but socially it was a disaster. Anyway here we are again.
After a christmas of a couple of bad binges, really feeling destroyed for a couple of days after I feel not worth it for the time being. Day by day.
Cheers to everyone.
You'll eventually start getting "friends" who support your sobriety. Worth having. And it does get easier. For what it's worth I needed help getting away from the bottle and took up a friends offer to go to an AA meeting on December 8th, 1986. I haven't had a drink since and the desire to drink isn't even there any more. But, just like you, I only have today. Hang in there, you can do this.7 -
Lastchancetochange wrote: »Hi, I'm on day 3. I actually lost almost all the weight 4 years ago and one key was being one year and a half sober. It's tough, I lost many friends, not really lost them but I was not cool anymore. And in any dinner they were all trying to get me drunk. So I had to pass on many social plans. It was very tough from that perspective. I didn't miss it, my body surely didn't but socially it was a disaster. Anyway here we are again.
After a christmas of a couple of bad binges, really feeling destroyed for a couple of days after I feel not worth it for the time being. Day by day.
Cheers to everyone.
Hi. Welcome. Glad you are working on changing this vicious cycle for more peace. I have been there and tried to stop many times. Finally have strung enough days together that it is almost a year. I never want to go back. You are so worth a better life. Trying to figure out your username?? Great to meet you here!
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MrSunshinez wrote: »I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight much less the week. Someone said something to me that hurt so deeply that it shook me to my core. It hurt because they said it. It hurt because it seems like an honest assessment and it hurts most that there's nothing I can do to change it. Right now as I write I'm bingeing on rocky road ice cream. We'll see what happens after the sugar rush sets in.
I AM SO SORRY that has happened. Remember when we are vulnerable we often get kicked. In this case shoved, kicked and beaten. Here's hoping the ice cream helped in some way to avoid the temptation and you went to sleep as best as you could. Remember as bad as it has hurt and I have had PLENTY, too, nothing is worth drinking over. Stick close and let us know how you are doing.
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Fitness327wk wrote: »I am happy to be AF! I was a little surprised by cutting out ALL my wine calories and really watching what I am eating the scale did not go down as far as I would have thought. Half a pound. I know it’s not just the number and very happy I am making the choice for overall better health! Has anyone else been surprised?
Well maybe. You see I was gaining while drinking and that is what changed the most. I wasn't gaining like I was. While I was drinking so many calories, I was eating loads of junk, whatever I wanted, every day. You are benefiting in so many ways by cutting alcohol. How long have you cut out the wine?
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MrSunshinez wrote: »I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight much less the week. Someone said something to me that hurt so deeply that it shook me to my core. It hurt because they said it. It hurt because it seems like an honest assessment and it hurts most that there's nothing I can do to change it. Right now as I write I'm bingeing on rocky road ice cream. We'll see what happens after the sugar rush sets in.
There is a good quote i like to remember: “There are 7 billion people on the planet. And you’re going to let one idiot ruin your day.”
Keep perspective , I know it’s hard. But this is ONE person’s opinion and reality. It may be right and it may be wrong. You can only change you not others. Look up Don Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements. I love his videos on. Youtube.5 -
I went to AA last night. We read the chapter on “to wives”. It was relevant and could have been called “to husband” “ to friend”. This also influence how Alanon started. Anyway, reading a book about alcoholism is so enlightening. My real point is whenever I ask someone how many meetings do you go to? They usually says 4 or 5 a week. I have a feeling that is the key. To keep at it. To never let your guard down. I go once a week, and I think that’s why I am always teetering on the edge. I have to take this more seriously. And really immerse myself in staying sober.
*P.s. I’m not saying this to debate or promote AA but for me this is the only way I can get support besides this thread.12 -
@RubyRed427 You are so inspiring and you are stronger than you know. We've got your back.
@MrSunshinez I hope you were able to let the craving wash over you then off your back like a duck. @Salleewins is wise. If you follow this thread you know she has been through the worst possible experience a parent can deal with. If she says nothing is worth drinking over, believe her. And if you did end up drinking, today is a new day. Please continue to come here for support.
I have not been sleeping well so I googled, "is there a difference between decaf and caffeine free tea?" Well, now I know.
"Decaffeinated tea is NOT caffeine-free. The decaffeination process leaves a minute amount of caffeine in the leaf. By law, tea labeled as “decaffeinated” must have less than 2.5 percent of its original caffeine level, which usually equates to less than 2 mg per cup."
So at night it will have to be CF.10 -
@JenT304 you and many others are so supportive of me and this thread❤️thank you !
I Bought sleepy time tea for evenings - maybe that would help. It's Celestial Seasonings brand 🌺4 -
@RubyRed427 you are taking care of yourself!! You are worth it!!3
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MrSunshinez wrote: »I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight much less the week. Someone said something to me that hurt so deeply that it shook me to my core. It hurt because they said it. It hurt because it seems like an honest assessment and it hurts most that there's nothing I can do to change it. Right now as I write I'm bingeing on rocky road ice cream. We'll see what happens after the sugar rush sets in.
I hope you made it through, but if you didn't that's ok...I wish I had seen your comment last eve and it looks like you were the last comment yesterday...Like has been said, if you did drink, today's a new day, a fresh start I love @RubyRed427's quote...I am going to try to remember that next time someone says something hurtful to me.
I'm wondering if the person's comment triggered something deeper in you...some past hurt that needs your attention. Please let us know you're ok5 -
Fitness327wk wrote: »I am happy to be AF! I was a little surprised by cutting out ALL my wine calories and really watching what I am eating the scale did not go down as far as I would have thought. Half a pound. I know it’s not just the number and very happy I am making the choice for overall better health! Has anyone else been surprised?
I lost over 20 lbs the first couple of months I went AF, but I was pumped & being really consistent...& then somewhere along the line the wheels fell off the cart & I turned to food here & there to replace the alcohol drowning my feelings. I've managed to play around with 6 lbs lost & gained & lost & gained etc.... Food was my first love (addiction for lack of a better description) and it is my last hold out. SO, I have some issues that go beyond counting calories LOL.
Anyway, we're each unique & there are so many variables when it comes to losing weight as we all know. So, if you are being consistent in your efforts to eat healthy in proper portions with reasonable exercise, that's the formula that will work...it will come off.
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Lastchancetochange wrote: »Hi, I'm on day 3. I actually lost almost all the weight 4 years ago and one key was being one year and a half sober. It's tough, I lost many friends, not really lost them but I was not cool anymore. And in any dinner they were all trying to get me drunk. So I had to pass on many social plans. It was very tough from that perspective. I didn't miss it, my body surely didn't but socially it was a disaster. Anyway here we are again.
After a christmas of a couple of bad binges, really feeling destroyed for a couple of days after I feel not worth it for the time being. Day by day.
Cheers to everyone.
Your in the right place to get some great support. Yes, the social aspect can be difficult. Sounds like it may be helpful to find a new group of friends...ones that will support you not sabotage you. Do you have hobbies? Maybe join a group that is based on that? Glad you're here.4 -
Hello all,@MrSunshinez(hope I did that right) please check in and let us know how you are,had my 30 days AF yesterday again for the 800th time,all this starting/stopping is dumb and I read it messes our brain chemistry up to do that over and over,I always lost weight while drinking cuz I wouldn't (couldn't) eat most of the time,didnt want it interfering with my buzz! Very unhealthy relationship with booze thats for sure,wishing everyone a happy AF day6
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RubyRed427 wrote: »MrSunshinez wrote: »I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight much less the week. Someone said something to me that hurt so deeply that it shook me to my core. It hurt because they said it. It hurt because it seems like an honest assessment and it hurts most that there's nothing I can do to change it. Right now as I write I'm bingeing on rocky road ice cream. We'll see what happens after the sugar rush sets in.
There is a good quote i like to remember: “There are 7 billion people on the planet. And you’re going to let one idiot ruin your day.”
Keep perspective , I know it’s hard. But this is ONE person’s opinion and reality. It may be right and it may be wrong. You can only change you not others. Look up Don Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements. I love his videos on. Youtube.
I really like that quote, great! Support to all and @MrSunshinez I hope you are doing well.2 -
@JenT304....De-Caffeinated tea labeling is deceiving similar to the labeling on Non-Alcoholic beer is. There is still a minute amount of alcohol in Non-Alcoholic beer (.05% in most as stated on the labels). So unless it says its 100% Alcohol Free on the label ....It probably isn't.
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I really appreciate this thread. I may not struggle with alcoholism, but I work closely with those that do. Sometimes it’s difficult to remember how human we are. Thank you for renewing my energy (and shamefully I admit patience) to support, understand, and listen. I hope each of you finds/continues success.8
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First of all, thank each of you for the comments and wishes. It really means so much to me to have this group and be a part of it. I'm still sober. Day #10. Am I still on the edge? Yes. My only saving grace as it has always been is that I don't like to drink alone and I don't drink at home. So my cure has been to just sleep away the feelings. But that's not good either. It's not solving the problems.
And to vent a little bit. I hate my job. It's soul killing. Every day I have to tell people that their insurance doesn't cover their medications. Just about every call I get yelled at, begged and questioned if I know my job. It's obvious these people need their medication and are desperate. I get it and I will be in the same boat too one day. It's the job not the people. All I can do is say I'm sorry over and over again. I do have my graphic design business but it doesn't pay the bills or insurance. Hopefully one day it will. Right now, it's living paycheck to paycheck and looking for something else is almost impossible with limited time off. Also, being in my 50's doesn't help. I have no family left so I'm alone now. I have some health issues that can pop up at anytime and can be life threatening so that is stressful to think about and manage. I'm not going to do anything dumb but I'm at a point where I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.
@RubyRed427 I think I'll take your advice and look into AA and go a few times a week and see if that helps. I had gone years ago but I just couldn't relate. Perhaps now will be different. Thanks for the Don Miguel Ruiz suggestion. Will look at them tonight.
Again, thank you everybody! Have a great AF evening! We all here trying to get through the best way we know how!12 -
@MrSunshinez Glad to hear from you...sorry about all your stresses I hear your frustration. Sounds to me like you need to be kind to yourself the best way you know how...as far as sleeping away the feelings...for now that may be ok...I think with all the stress you're dealing with, maybe you need the sleep. It won't be forever. You will find your way as hard as that may be to believe at this point.
If you had a friend who was in your spot, what would you say to them or do for them to show you care about them? Then do that for yourself. Do something nurturing for yourself.
I truly hope that things turn around for you soon, but until then we are here for you...Vent when you need to......!!!!! Maybe AA will work this time....at least you're keeping your options open6
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