The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

@RubyRed427 You really are an inspiration, sharing such a difficult life experience and going through it in a clear headed and emotionally in touch way!

Also, I very much appreciated your support this past Sunday (I replied to your comment, but didn't say thank you for your words, so I am now). Your strength helps me recognize how much better it is to go through tough situations AF and motivates me to do the same..

I've been avoiding sharing this cause it is a difficult share, but I think it's an important story. My former brother-in-law died on Monday, early 60s. He had a quadruple by-pass 3 weeks ago. He had fallen asleep in his chair in the living-room after a night of heavy drinking. He woke up in the wee hours of the morning, & fell backwards into their glass coffee table shattering it & a very large piece of glass entered his back & pierced his lung....at first glance his wife thought he was just cut up a bit & bandaged the cuts not realizing the extent of the damage because it was all internal. 2 hours later he was having trouble breathing and she called an ambulance. They rushed him into surgery & removed all the glass only to have him go into cardiac arrest and die. Apparently, the cause of his fall into the table was a heart attack. The docs said that the fall actually revived him but he went on to have his heart stop a couple more times prior to his surgery and then the fatal one after his surgery.

This is such a sad, typical story of someone who abused alcohol for many decades and died as a result of that abuse. YES, it was a heart attack listed as his cause of death, but really, it was alcohol abuse that resulted in his death. Because he was wreaking of alcohol when he was admitted to hospital, they had to send an investigator to their home after his death to have his wife explain & show exactly what happened to rule out foul play.

When he came home from his by-pass surgery, he continued to drink, smoke & eat as usual. No lifestyle changes for him. The result from his autopsy was that his heart was enlarged to twice it's normal size and all his arteries were 100% blocked...3 weeks after surgery. The docs told his wife that if it hadn't happened on Monday, it would have definitely happened within a couple of weeks because of the damage to his heart.

His brother, my ex-husband, is in jail due to his 2nd DUI and was told by a priest that his closest brother had died and he will be allowed compassionate leave, be driven to the funeral home by armed guards, chained & handcuffed as he is escorted into the empty funeral home to pay his respects to his brother. He will not be allowed to attend the service, and no family will be able to be with him when he walks into the funeral home. The powers that be at the jail told my daughter that it isn't a family reunion and he will be driven back to the jail, put in his cell and likely fall apart. He is a mess of a man...many decades of drinking though his pain, through the loss of 7 siblings, parents, friends, a couple of wives, many girlfriends, his daughter who only puts up with him if she absolutely has to, all of the jobs lost through drinking and on & on!!

Of all my ex-husband's family, this brother who died was the one who I cared for most to the extent I was able to, if that makes any sense. Alcohol has robbed this family of every member. All before 65 yrs old. My daughter is very concerned for her Dad because she fears for his mental health and I agree with her. I do believe this may be the straw that broke the camel's back. He is a broken man and I think this will break him further. He has attempted suicide a few times in his life and one of his brother's succeeded. All because of alcohol. Alcohol the symptom. The cause of the alcohol was childhood abuse. Severe childhood abuse. They were never able to rise above it. And they've all been slowly killing themselves ever since. With alcohol! Very sad!!!!

lorrainequiche59 wrote: »

I've been avoiding sharing this cause it is a difficult share, but I think it's an important story. My former brother-in-law died on Monday, early 60s. He had a quadruple by-pass 3 weeks ago. He had fallen asleep in his chair in the living-room after a night of heavy drinking. He woke up in the wee hours of the morning, & fell backwards into their glass coffee table shattering it & a very large piece of glass entered his back & pierced his lung....at first glance his wife thought he was just cut up a bit & bandaged the cuts not realizing the extent of the damage because it was all internal. 2 hours later he was having trouble breathing and she called an ambulance. They rushed him into surgery & removed all the glass only to have him go into cardiac arrest and die. Apparently, the cause of his fall into the table was a heart attack. The docs said that the fall actually revived him but he went on to have his heart stop a couple more times prior to his surgery and then the fatal one after his surgery.

This is such a sad, typical story of someone who abused alcohol for many decades and died as a result of that abuse. YES, it was a heart attack listed as his cause of death, but really, it was alcohol abuse that resulted in his death. Because he was wreaking of alcohol when he was admitted to hospital, they had to send an investigator to their home after his death to have his wife explain & show exactly what happened to rule out foul play.

When he came home from his by-pass surgery, he continued to drink, smoke & eat as usual. No lifestyle changes for him. The result from his autopsy was that his heart was enlarged to twice it's normal size and all his arteries were 100% blocked...3 weeks after surgery. The docs told his wife that if it hadn't happened on Monday, it would have definitely happened within a couple of weeks because of the damage to his heart.

His brother, my ex-husband, is in jail due to his 2nd DUI and was told by a priest that his closest brother had died and he will be allowed compassionate leave, be driven to the funeral home by armed guards, chained & handcuffed as he is escorted into the empty funeral home to pay his respects to his brother. He will not be allowed to attend the service, and no family will be able to be with him when he walks into the funeral home. The powers that be at the jail told my daughter that it isn't a family reunion and he will be driven back to the jail, put in his cell and likely fall apart. He is a mess of a man...many decades of drinking though his pain, through the loss of 7 siblings, parents, friends, a couple of wives, many girlfriends, his daughter who only puts up with him if she absolutely has to, all of the jobs lost through drinking and on & on!!

Of all my ex-husband's family, this brother who died was the one who I cared for most to the extent I was able to, if that makes any sense. Alcohol has robbed this family of every member. All before 65 yrs old. My daughter is very concerned for her Dad because she fears for his mental health and I agree with her. I do believe this may be the straw that broke the camel's back. He is a broken man and I think this will break him further. He has attempted suicide a few times in his life and one of his brother's succeeded. All because of alcohol. Alcohol the symptom. The cause of the alcohol was childhood abuse. Severe childhood abuse. They were never able to rise above it. And they've all been slowly killing themselves ever since. With alcohol! Very sad!!!!

So sorry for your loss

@lorrainequiche59 I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. How brave you have been to tell us. How sad this is. Hugs and Love.

So sorry for your loss Lorraine alcohol sure does effect every cell in the body,I hate it! Ruby,thank you for sharing your story,I'm sorry you're going thru this but I'm happy you're doing what's right for you! Well tomorrow is February and even tho I know I'll stay AF a dirty little demon keeps whispering in my ear,,go away! I hate that even though I don't want to drink,have no reason or desire part of me wants to be "bad" at least in my thoughts anyways haha,have a great day all

I'm just checking in. I lurk here most of the time and think that there are a lot of strong, strong people on this thread. I'm up to 125 days sober and have lost 10lbs without changing my exercise or eating habits. Well, I've always exercised but leaving the wine behind is what made a HUGE difference.

NormInv wrote: »

Tomorrow is Day 31 of Dry Jan....so whats next...I want to keep going but I have not made any new resolutions. I am going in for my annual physical at the end of Feb and I want my numbers to be perfect.

You’ve been going strong for a few months Normin! I think your doctor will be amazed at the end of the month. You have worked so hard to improve your life. I’m happy for you.