What nobody tells you about losing weight
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I'm at the point where I've lost enough weight in my tummy that it now jiggles all over when I run or do jumping jacks. I discovered this in class the other day and it makes it very uncomfortable to do them.12
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No one told my none my clothes wouldn’t fit8
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Only a few people noticed I have been dieting for 6 months.. But this week EVERYONE commened on the weight loss like it happened overnignt.. Telling me I have become too thin and its not good.. I am still 9lbs over what I used to be :-P24
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I just finished reading this entire thread, beginning to end. It has been tremendously motivating!
SW 221, currently 173. God bless my dietician for putting me on to MFP. And god bless a gym that provided expert dietician advice for dirt cheap. It was worth every nickel.
Here’s my things that no one told me to expect when I lost weight:
*That I would love walking, and be mesmerized every time my Apple Watch does those flaming ring closure things. I am such a sucker for positive reinforcement, and that one just gets me every time.
* That I would pull my knees in during Pilates, and they’d hit something hard. Well, hello ribs! Pleased to meetcha!
* That I would be disappointed to no longer be the “fat chick” in yoga. It made me very competitive. I felt I had to show the skinny girls I was just as good as them, especially they were new and gave me the “sneer”. It was a point of pride to me when people would tell me afterwards that I was “Good”. Yeah, you mean better than you expected, right? It’s still confusing to be in a yoga or Pilates class and realize I’m no longer the biggest one there, and that if someone’s looking at me, they’re just “looking at me”, not judging me, And a thumbs up to all the lovely instructors and members at my studio who have been very supportive, literally through thick and through thin.
* That weight loss would simply make yoga so much easier. Like someone else said, child’s pose is no longer a form of torture, and I try every single arm balance offered, and if I fall, I just laugh out loud, because I’m so damn happy to be trying. I love my body! It’s like my new toy!
*I’ve been told that years of regular yoga have paid off, since I don’t seem to be getting the sagging skin
* That I would join a local barbell gym, and be coached by a 70 year old force of nature. I want to be her when I grow up!!! I look forward to working out with her like it’s Christmas. She has also reinforced that the scale and BMI charts are meaningless. As she says, “Look at me. According to BMI, I’moverweight.” She is incredibly motivating. And if you’ve never experienced a “neighborhood” gym, it is totally, totally different from anywhere else I’ve ever worked out. Go find you one. This woman is like Burgess Meredith in Rocky. Just an absolute treat. And everyone gets a hug when they come through her door, from Olympic class to the SWAT team down to the local kids she lets work out for free.
*Speaking of Christmas, I can’t wait for Sunday weigh-ins. I don’t care if it’s up or down, it’s just so interesting now. I haven’t lost pounds in the past two or three weeks but I can tell a difference in shape, and my pants are getting loose again.
*The inutterable joy of going to buy some shirts this afternoon, and coming home with an armload of “smalls”. I realized today that I slouched to make myself (and the girls) invisible. When I stand up straight, a lot of the pooch disappears, and those smalls looked pretty darn good. Daaaaarn good. I was astonished, and teared up in the dressing room. I was an XXL as recently as September. That felt good, as did finding a whole bunch of great deals on the clearance rack. I had a pretty massive reduction six years ago, and as the weight piled on, the boobs just seemed to absorb the weight. It is just wonderful to see them going back down again.
The confusing? Hostility from the last place I expected.
My slim and fit yoga instructor daughter, who has been on my butt for years about my weight, totally ignored my weight loss when she visited over Christmas, and eventually accused me of having an eating disorder. Unbelievable, weird, hurtful, and TOTALLY unexpected. Especially since I’m still in the overweight category. She even managed to upset her doting dad with that ugly scene, and nothing ever rocks his boat with our girls.
* I KonMari’d the House after Christmas. The devil in me has saved her prom dress from when she was 16, and is toying with the idea of of emailing her a photo of me wearing it as soon as I can zip it up, which should be very soon. If she’s not speaking to me, I might as well enjoy the moment, since it appears I can’t make her any madder til she tells me what it was that really kicked her cat.
All I can figure is that, I wanted to surprise her, and boy, I sure did?46 -
springlering62 wrote: »I just finished reading this entire thread, beginning to end. It has been tremendously motivating.
The confusing? Hostility from the last place I expected.
My slim and fit yoga instructor daughter, who has been on my butt for years about my weight, totally ignored my weight loss when she visited over Christmas, and eventually accused me of having an eating disorder. Unbelievable, weird, hurtful, and TOTALLY unexpected. Especially since I’m still in the overweight category. She even managed to upset her doting dad with that ugly scene, and nothing ever rocks his boat with our girls.
* I KonMari’d the House after Christmas. The devil in me has saved her prom dress from when she was 16, and is toying with the idea of of emailing her a photo of me wearing it as soon as I can zip it up, which should be very soon. If she’s not speaking to me, I might as well enjoy the moment, since it appears I can’t make her any madder til she tells me what it was that really kicked her cat.
All I can figure is that, I wanted to surprise her, and boy, I sure did?
Welcome!
Congratulations on your success!
On this puzzling response from your daughter,
I am guessing she feels kinda betrayed because you didn’t share this major life change with her.
And the eating disorder accusation could come from her read on this that you have been trying to hide your weight loss, therefore embarassed or that something else is going on.
The comment may have even been fishing for a medical problem and the very emotional response may have been fear of cancer or a tumor or something dire.
I cannot understand why you wouldn’t have said something way earlier about taking her advice and focusing on getting healthy. You know this is her field of expertise, yet disregarded anything she may have offered, thus showing you don’t respect her input here.
You are supposed to be the mom yet instead of doing the mom thing of sitting down with her and trying to understand this response, you go to a place of rubbing it in her face with the dress.
I don’t get your response as a mom.
I value my daughters opinion and use every opportunity to find out about this amazing person, who she is and why she thinks and feels the way she does because it is interesting to me. We disagree on many things but that kind of response would tell me she was worried about something.
It may not even be related to this issue.
Something else in her life may have sparked this.
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springlering62 wrote: »I just finished reading this entire thread, beginning to end. It has been tremendously motivating!
SW 221, currently 173. God bless my dietician for putting me on to MFP. And god bless a gym that provided expert dietician advice for dirt cheap. It was worth every nickel.
Here’s my things that no one told me to expect when I lost weight:
*That I would love walking, and be mesmerized every time my Apple Watch does those flaming ring closure things. I am such a sucker for positive reinforcement, and that one just gets me every time.
* That I would pull my knees in during Pilates, and they’d hit something hard. Well, hello ribs! Pleased to meetcha!
* That I would be disappointed to no longer be the “fat chick” in yoga. It made me very competitive. I felt I had to show the skinny girls I was just as good as them, especially they were new and gave me the “sneer”. It was a point of pride to me when people would tell me afterwards that I was “Good”. Yeah, you mean better than you expected, right? It’s still confusing to be in a yoga or Pilates class and realize I’m no longer the biggest one there, and that if someone’s looking at me, they’re just “looking at me”, not judging me, And a thumbs up to all the lovely instructors and members at my studio who have been very supportive, literally through thick and through thin.
* That weight loss would simply make yoga so much easier. Like someone else said, child’s pose is no longer a form of torture, and I try every single arm balance offered, and if I fall, I just laugh out loud, because I’m so damn happy to be trying. I love my body! It’s like my new toy!
*I’ve been told that years of regular yoga have paid off, since I don’t seem to be getting the sagging skin
* That I would join a local barbell gym, and be coached by a 70 year old force of nature. I want to be her when I grow up!!! I look forward to working out with her like it’s Christmas. She has also reinforced that the scale and BMI charts are meaningless. As she says, “Look at me. According to BMI, I’moverweight.” She is incredibly motivating. And if you’ve never experienced a “neighborhood” gym, it is totally, totally different from anywhere else I’ve ever worked out. Go find you one. This woman is like Burgess Meredith in Rocky. Just an absolute treat. And everyone gets a hug when they come through her door, from Olympic class to the SWAT team down to the local kids she lets work out for free.
*Speaking of Christmas, I can’t wait for Sunday weigh-ins. I don’t care if it’s up or down, it’s just so interesting now. I haven’t lost pounds in the past two or three weeks but I can tell a difference in shape, and my pants are getting loose again.
*The inutterable joy of going to buy some shirts this afternoon, and coming home with an armload of “smalls”. I realized today that I slouched to make myself (and the girls) invisible. When I stand up straight, a lot of the pooch disappears, and those smalls looked pretty darn good. Daaaaarn good. I was astonished, and teared up in the dressing room. I was an XXL as recently as September. That felt good, as did finding a whole bunch of great deals on the clearance rack. I had a pretty massive reduction six years ago, and as the weight piled on, the boobs just seemed to absorb the weight. It is just wonderful to see them going back down again.
The confusing? Hostility from the last place I expected.
My slim and fit yoga instructor daughter, who has been on my butt for years about my weight, totally ignored my weight loss when she visited over Christmas, and eventually accused me of having an eating disorder. Unbelievable, weird, hurtful, and TOTALLY unexpected. Especially since I’m still in the overweight category. She even managed to upset her doting dad with that ugly scene, and nothing ever rocks his boat with our girls.
* I KonMari’d the House after Christmas. The devil in me has saved her prom dress from when she was 16, and is toying with the idea of of emailing her a photo of me wearing it as soon as I can zip it up, which should be very soon. If she’s not speaking to me, I might as well enjoy the moment, since it appears I can’t make her any madder til she tells me what it was that really kicked her cat.
All I can figure is that, I wanted to surprise her, and boy, I sure did?
@springlering62 - I love your post. I can feel your personality through your words and it's all goodness. You have no idea how much I needed to read and absorb a positive-filled post today. Thank you!
As for the yoga-instructor's daughter - she didn't think you'd succeed and thus doesn't know how to deal with the fact that you did. Just let her be.9 -
@springlering62 Lovely inspiring post filled with joy.
One thing: I think the prom dress thing would be a bad, bad move. It is always possible to escalate family acrimony, and that would do it. She certainly won't stop worrying you have an ED after you've done that.
I don'know your family dynamics, and maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree but this sounds like one of those horrible murky family situations where there isn't a clear bad guy, just misunderstandings and miscommunications. Then justifiably hurt feelings on both sides.
I think it's quite possible your daughter is honestly scared. It's one thing to know and say someone you love should lose weight for their health, but it's quite another thing to come home for a visit and suddenly be confronted with their drastic change in appearance since your last visit. The eye is a tricky thing. We all know how difficult it is to see gradual changes in yourself the mirror, and people who we see everyday don't see it either. Meanwhile, people meeting you for the first time can't believe you were ever heavier!
The positive changes in Before and After pictures of strangers are easy to appreciate, but when it's someone you known for years at their higher weight it's different. I look at glamorous After pictures on here and gasp in admiration at the OP, but if the fabulous OP was my sister Sally and I noticed the weight-loss the first time I saw her in months, I'd be scared. If the first time I had the chance to see the change in her appearance was when she was hosting Christmas and rushing round organising everything, I'd probably convince myself she had cancer by boxing day.
When someone you know drops a lot of weight, you don't think 'they look fantastic', you just see that they look 'different' and 'all wrong' to the mental image in your head. A klaxon of panic goes off in your head when you see an abrupt change in someone you care about. It also goes off for changes that aren't abrupt but seem abrupt because you were't there to see the intervening stages.
In this specific case, if she's been on your back about your weight all this time, that might be part of what was driving her accusations. She's panicking that she might have pushed you too far, and any decent woman in that situation would feel it was her responsibility to try and fix it.
Doesn't sound like she handled it at all well, and I'm not surprised you're hurt. I would be beyond angry and upset in your shoes.
I'm not saying she was right to act as she did, at all. I'm just thinking that a lot of the time when people treat each other poorly, they didn't start off trying to be jerks, and this might be one of those times.35 -
One of the things that has surprised me the most in my lose weight/get fit endeavors is how lonely it is. No one else in my social circle seems as interested as I am, which is fine. I guess maybe I’m actually most surprised that I noticed it and actually wish I had someone to share some of these things with. I’m typically pretty good with doing things on my own. This makes me appreciate this online community all the more, though!34
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@marianlyn That's what these groups are for I guess. My friends are very happy for me but I know they get bored when I talk excitedly about some new food/exercise I've tried or whine because I want to have a bigger piece of pie instead of the sliver I had accounted for when doing my daily tracking. But ultimately it's my battle and they're just involuntary witnesses.9
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One of the things that has surprised me the most in my lose weight/get fit endeavors is how lonely it is. No one else in my social circle seems as interested as I am, which is fine. I guess maybe I’m actually most surprised that I noticed it and actually wish I had someone to share some of these things with. I’m typically pretty good with doing things on my own. This makes me appreciate this online community all the more, though!
You are in the right place to share. Yes, No one really cares. That's harsh but mostly true. I've started to find it amusing at work. In the past year I've lost over 80 pounds by simply using MFP and eating less of the same things I've been eating. I started exercising again because I enjoy it. I'm now at a healthy BMI and getting ready to run a 1/2 marathon in two weeks. Not a bad success story, huh? Well - no one cares in my real life except for my wife and family and a couple of close friends...
What's amusing is watching coworkers all discuss the newest diet fad and have long discussions about how they need to lose weight. Not a soul will ask how I did it - and I finally figured out why... They don't really want to lose the weight or change their life. They just want to talk about it. I don't say that to be mean spirited; it's just true. They don't talk to me about weight loss because I've actually done it. They just want the miracle diet/food/pill/exercise that will shave 20 pounds off of their body with no real investment of time or energy.
So - come here and share. We care and are happy for you. We'll give you the kudos you deserve.
Congratulations on your success!
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Yeah, in my experience those who actually need to lose a lot of weight themselves are the ones who never, ever say anything about my weight loss. But it is what it is. So I share and participate here in these forums, especially since there’s stuff even my most supportive friends probably don’t want to hear about nor have any useful feedback on because they’ve never been on similar journeys themselves. There’s a lot of stuff only people who were morbidly obese for much of their lives and now have worked hard not to be so anymore really “get.”12
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garystrickland357 wrote: »
You are in the right place to share. Yes, No one really cares. That's harsh but mostly true. I've started to find it amusing at work. In the past year I've lost over 80 pounds by simply using MFP and eating less of the same things I've been eating. I started exercising again because I enjoy it. I'm now at a healthy BMI and getting ready to run a 1/2 marathon in two weeks. Not a bad success story, huh? Well - no one cares in my real life except for my wife and family and a couple of close friends...
What's amusing is watching coworkers all discuss the newest diet fad and have long discussions about how they need to lose weight. Not a soul will ask how I did it - and I finally figured out why... They don't really want to lose the weight or change their life. They just want to talk about it. I don't say that to be mean spirited; it's just true. They don't talk to me about weight loss because I've actually done it. They just want the miracle diet/food/pill/exercise that will shave 20 pounds off of their body with no real investment of time or energy.
So - come here and share. We care and are happy for you. We'll give you the kudos you deserve.
Congratulations on your success!
That is soooooo true. Some of my relatives and coworkers have asked me what I did, and some went as far as to download the app. But, apparently, weighing / portioning your food is "too much work", so none of them lasted a week. Or course, they haven't lost a gram.5 -
Have talked to yoga daughter. She said she had a brief eating disorder, one she hid so well, I had nooooooo idea. And her sister-in-law has been hospitalized several times for one, so she assumed the worst. I had told her several times I was working on losing weight, but she was in the middle of a cross country move, and it either didn’t register or she didn’t take it seriously. After all, as my other daughter puts it, “we’ve never known you small, mom”.
We are definitely not “a Facebook” perfect family, nor would we want to be one. That would just be....dull. The warts, short tempers, and outright weird shared personality traits (like the family penchant for scatalogical jokes-the ruder the better, and anything involving laser cats) are what make us unique to each other. Sometimes our worst misunderstandings are simply an opportunity to reconnect.
I have a new weight adventure! I think this might be an NSV, though.
Took a young friend to family swim at the health club Sunday. I was sitting in the whirlpool, watching him swim in the big pool, glanced down, and saw my big round belly. My first thought was, “well, I guess nothing’s really changed after all, has it?”. Cue great disappointment. Suddenly dawned on me to pat my belly. All the whirlpool bubbles whooshed out of my swimsuit! Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.72 -
I'm so glad you've sorted it all out. Here's to the next family occasion, and I hope it is far more joyful than this one was.springlering62 wrote: »Have talked to yoga daughter. She said she had a brief eating disorder, one she hid so well, I had nooooooo idea. And her sister-in-law has been hospitalized several times for one, so she assumed the worst. I had told her several times I was working on losing weight, but she was in the middle of a cross country move, and it either didn’t register or she didn’t take it seriously. After all, as my other daughter puts it, “we’ve never known you small, mom”.
We are definitely not “a Facebook” perfect family, nor would we want to be one. That would just be....dull. The warts, short tempers, and outright weird shared personality traits (like the family penchant for scatalogical jokes-the ruder the better, and anything involving laser cats) are what make us unique to each other. Sometimes our worst misunderstandings are simply an opportunity to reconnect.
I have a new weight adventure! I think this might be an NSV, though.
Took a young friend to family swim at the health club Sunday. I was sitting in the whirlpool, watching him swim in the big pool, glanced down, and saw my big round belly. My first thought was, “well, I guess nothing’s really changed after all, has it?”. Cue great disappointment. Suddenly dawned on me to pat my belly. All the whirlpool bubbles whooshed out of my swimsuit! Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.
I just want to give you both a big hug now.
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I am only 2 months into my journey, 18lbs down and it I crazy how many more people smile at me!27
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- Not having to wear the same ol same clothes because you don't want to go to the store and buy new clothes
- When hitting your goal, buying new clothes and feeling confident/happy
- Being able to enjoy the summer season a hell lot more!23 -
springlering62 wrote: »Have talked to yoga daughter. She said she had a brief eating disorder, one she hid so well, I had nooooooo idea. And her sister-in-law has been hospitalized several times for one, so she assumed the worst. I had told her several times I was working on losing weight, but she was in the middle of a cross country move, and it either didn’t register or she didn’t take it seriously. After all, as my other daughter puts it, “we’ve never known you small, mom”.
We are definitely not “a Facebook” perfect family, nor would we want to be one. That would just be....dull. The warts, short tempers, and outright weird shared personality traits (like the family penchant for scatalogical jokes-the ruder the better, and anything involving laser cats) are what make us unique to each other. Sometimes our worst misunderstandings are simply an opportunity to reconnect.
I have a new weight adventure! I think this might be an NSV, though.
Took a young friend to family swim at the health club Sunday. I was sitting in the whirlpool, watching him swim in the big pool, glanced down, and saw my big round belly. My first thought was, “well, I guess nothing’s really changed after all, has it?”. Cue great disappointment. Suddenly dawned on me to pat my belly. All the whirlpool bubbles whooshed out of my swimsuit! Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.
Aw, I'm glad you sorted it out! It can be hard to get used to when the people we love change, even when the changes are positive!5 -
That you’ll go to rub the back of your neck and shoulders and it will feel like a completely different person back there, like you’re rubbing the wrong back!24
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springlering62 wrote: »Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.
This is the best!!
Glad you talked it out with your daughter - talking is also the best!
Congrats on all success!!!
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springlering62 wrote: »Have talked to yoga daughter. She said she had a brief eating disorder, one she hid so well, I had nooooooo idea. And her sister-in-law has been hospitalized several times for one, so she assumed the worst. I had told her several times I was working on losing weight, but she was in the middle of a cross country move, and it either didn’t register or she didn’t take it seriously. After all, as my other daughter puts it, “we’ve never known you small, mom”.
We are definitely not “a Facebook” perfect family, nor would we want to be one. That would just be....dull. The warts, short tempers, and outright weird shared personality traits (like the family penchant for scatalogical jokes-the ruder the better, and anything involving laser cats) are what make us unique to each other. Sometimes our worst misunderstandings are simply an opportunity to reconnect.
I have a new weight adventure! I think this might be an NSV, though.
Took a young friend to family swim at the health club Sunday. I was sitting in the whirlpool, watching him swim in the big pool, glanced down, and saw my big round belly. My first thought was, “well, I guess nothing’s really changed after all, has it?”. Cue great disappointment. Suddenly dawned on me to pat my belly. All the whirlpool bubbles whooshed out of my swimsuit! Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.
Sounds like a true perfect family! Much love in spite of or because of the weird and awkward and wonderful
. The swimsuit thing made me giggle - If you do it just right,BTW, you can get a fart sound (don't ask how I know this). 11 -
How long your neck is can be really freaky when you’re not used to being able to see most of it. Feel like a swan — and not always in a good way! LOL!14
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springlering62 wrote: »Have talked to yoga daughter. She said she had a brief eating disorder, one she hid so well, I had nooooooo idea. And her sister-in-law has been hospitalized several times for one, so she assumed the worst. I had told her several times I was working on losing weight, but she was in the middle of a cross country move, and it either didn’t register or she didn’t take it seriously. After all, as my other daughter puts it, “we’ve never known you small, mom”.
We are definitely not “a Facebook” perfect family, nor would we want to be one. That would just be....dull. The warts, short tempers, and outright weird shared personality traits (like the family penchant for scatalogical jokes-the ruder the better, and anything involving laser cats) are what make us unique to each other. Sometimes our worst misunderstandings are simply an opportunity to reconnect.
I have a new weight adventure! I think this might be an NSV, though.
Took a young friend to family swim at the health club Sunday. I was sitting in the whirlpool, watching him swim in the big pool, glanced down, and saw my big round belly. My first thought was, “well, I guess nothing’s really changed after all, has it?”. Cue great disappointment. Suddenly dawned on me to pat my belly. All the whirlpool bubbles whooshed out of my swimsuit! Much joy!!! I spent the next ten minutes inflating and deflating and giggling like a fool.
Fabulous and instructive outcome!
This whole scenario is so very instructive in dealing with those around us concerning our weight loss and newer healthier lifestyles!
Thanks for footnote!
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Kelll12123 wrote: »
hahaha this... My back is bruised from doing workouts on the floor because my shoulder blades stick out so much now.
No one told me how annoying buying clothes could be. It's great when they fit, but I keep going down sizes and needing to buy more and then not having a purpose for the larger sizes.
On a more positive note, I get hit on a lot more. Three different guys asked me out for Valentine's Day this year
Good for you for getting hit on a lot more. I'm sure this gives people a chance now to see how beautiful you are on the inside. Congrats!4 -
GemimaFitzTed wrote: »As for the yoga-instructor's daughter - she didn't think you'd succeed and thus doesn't know how to deal with the fact that you did. Just let her be.
Edited because I typed to fast and didn't see that you had a conversation with your daughter. I'm glad things are good with you again.5 -
How long your neck is can be really freaky when you’re not used to being able to see most of it. Feel like a swan — and not always in a good way! LOL!
This is SO funny - not 5 minutes ago I almost made a comment on your success story about how beautiful your neck is but thought it sounded too weird!
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Okay, this is a bit of a weird one. I'm a hairy woman. I have quite a bit of hair on my chin. It used to sit under my chin, in my double-chin area. Now it sits on my chin, inching closer to my bottom lip. I also carry a chunk of weight in my face so reducing my weight has definitely reduced a lot of fat in that area.16
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That’s is so funny, Rel. As a post menopausal woman, I always figured the Big Bad Wolf was, too. I mean the whole “hair of my chinny chin chin” proves it, right? But with weight loss, mine have moved further down my neck. And gotten fewer. I’m good with that but I think it’s hysterical that you’re noticing a difference, too! What a journey!!!! May yours be fewer and... blonder?RelCanonical wrote: »Okay, this is a bit of a weird one. I'm a hairy woman. I have quite a bit of hair on my chin. It used to sit under my chin, in my double-chin area. Now it sits on my chin, inching closer to my bottom lip. I also carry a chunk of weight in my face so reducing my weight has definitely reduced a lot of fat in that area.
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