The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Hi everyone! I've been trying to cut down my alcohol intake for a while now. It used to make me more talkative and more fun but now it only seems to make me tired and sleepy. Even if I only have 3-4 I am just ruined the next day and only want to sleep. It gradually stopped being worth it to me just for calories, cost, health reasons, etc. I also have some loved ones that don't seem to have a good relationship with alcohol anymore, so it's given me even more bad feelings toward it. I don't think I will ever quit totally but I'm down to 1-2 beers a week unless I am hanging out with friends in which case I might have a few more.10
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@Jent304 My "happy" light is definitely helping me get a better quality sleep...BUT I do not think there are enough gama rays in the universe that can lift the doom & gloom of this winter...and I've had too many switches in work due to snowy/blowy/icy weather that I'm running out of days to move my work to...BUT on the positive note, I'm viewing all these days off as practice for retirement...NO work AND NO money either....LOL...actually not that funny!!
On the brighter side for me, I just got off the phone with my SISTER from my Dad's first marriage and interestingly she has had an ongoing issue with alcohol throughout her life AND an issue with men...it seems her "picker" is broken just like mine (man picker that is)!!!!!
Waddya know...my father was an alcoholic and it has trickled down the line...she said she is a mean drinker like he was only not AS mean, but still not good. She's been working toward sobriety and has decided that drinking is NOT her thing! I'm very thankful that I wasn't mean when I drank...I'd say stupid things I regretted the next day, but had a tendency to be a bawl baby rather than a fighter...This has been an emotional couple of days for me. It's like a big puzzle & I'm finally finding the bits & pieces to paint the picture of my Dad's past and what happened in his life to make him the man I knew but can't remember much of.
My sisters mother and other members of her family refuse to talk about my Dad and my family from my Mom refuse to talk about him also...I understand it's difficult to talk about painful stuff, BUT secrets hurt and keep the pain just under the surface sitting there and waiting to come out in some other area of your life whereas transparency & honesty can contribute to healing.
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@lorrainequiche59 Lorraine, you are going through so much. I think it’s a positive thing for you to fill in the pieces. It is your history and life. Even if your other members of the family don’t want to talk about it, that is their choice.
But you choose to find out more; that is understandable. To each his own.
I became a mean drunk. Husband said recently he remembers when I said I wont be married to him in the future. It was after we were at a wedding three years ago. I said, “ I dont remember saying that.” I knew that I was probably drunk and the alcohol is a wicked truth serum sometimes.
Today, I am going to a friend’s for Galentines Day. Husband is taking daughter to dinner. We are in limbo and settling back into patterns of life. I think he and I are so exhausted after two weeks of intense emotions and crying over our divorce, that now we both are taking a break from thinking about it.
Wishing all of you a Happy Valentine’s Day.
Love you! 6 -
Today is day 20. Nothing big to report except it is much easier now.12
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Been a while since I have been here. I am still AF but not feeling good. Work has been stressful. Had to let someone go, lost sleep over it but in the end it was best for the employee and the company (employee admitted this). I have had a headache and stomach issues. I am not sick but not right. Probably stress. One thing I always find with not drinking is my skin looks so good. Even when I moderate pretty well my skin is not as nice as when I don’t drink at all. Also I can lose weight when I abstain. Losing the perpetual 5 lbs again. Vanity is my reason how lame is that. I know I would be doing worse with the stress if I drank but not feeling happy right now.11
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Happy Valentine's day all 4
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Wishing everyone a wonderful Valentine’s day! ❤️🥰🙋♀️💃👍💕3
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Jumping on the band wagon here: Happy Consumer Driven Interpretation of Love Day!!!!
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trishfit2014 wrote: »One thing I always find with not drinking is my skin looks so good. Even when I moderate pretty well my skin is not as nice as when I don’t drink at all.
Everyone always says this but meanwhile my skin doesn't improve no matter what I do
errydayimmusclin wrote: »Jumping on the band wagon here: Happy Consumer Driven Interpretation of Love Day!!!!
Happy Lupercalia! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupercalia
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@laurenq1991 Give it some time. Remember, our skin is an organ. Your liver won't look it's best in a few weeks from abstaining either. It takes a while. Our skin is the organ we wear on the outside and can see it. After I had been drinking and looked terrible I thought,"Good God, what do my organs that I can't see look like?" A sobering thought. Anyway, today in the grocery store the clerk said to me, "Do you get the senior discount?" Which you have to be 60 to get. I am 55. I was thinking, "^&*! you, thanks for ruining my day!" but I politely just said, "Not yet!" I am going to drag my butt back to the gym next week and keep it up this time.7
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Day 129 without alcohol. (I just found the thread, and thats where I'm at today) 14
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@laurenq1991 Give it some time. Remember, our skin is an organ. Your liver won't look it's best in a few weeks from abstaining either. It takes a while. Our skin is the organ we wear on the outside and can see it. After I had been drinking and looked terrible I thought,"Good God, what do my organs that I can't see look like?" A sobering thought. Anyway, today in the grocery store the clerk said to me, "Do you get the senior discount?" Which you have to be 60 to get. I am 55. I was thinking, "^&*! you, thanks for ruining my day!" but I politely just said, "Not yet!" I am going to drag my butt back to the gym next week and keep it up this time.
I didn't drink that much before I went AF (I went AF for a variety of reasons, one of which is that addiction and mental health issues run in my family) so I don't think it's related. I probably think it looks worse than it is anyway.
Don't feel too badly about that -- she was probably just making sure because some people look young at 60. I don't think you look like a senior at all from your profile picture.
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trishfit2014 wrote: »Been a while since I have been here. I am still AF but not feeling good. Work has been stressful. Had to let someone go, lost sleep over it but in the end it was best for the employee and the company (employee admitted this). I have had a headache and stomach issues. I am not sick but not right. Probably stress. One thing I always find with not drinking is my skin looks so good. Even when I moderate pretty well my skin is not as nice as when I don’t drink at all. Also I can lose weight when I abstain. Losing the perpetual 5 lbs again. Vanity is my reason how lame is that. I know I would be doing worse with the stress if I drank but not feeling happy right now.
Oh so relatable. Despite spending a lot on products my skin was *so* dry and generally just crappy when I drank. Now I look in the mirror sometimes and think wow am I the same person. As for the weight gain from alcohol - my sole source of weight gain. Period. I never overate or even enjoyed a lot of 'bad' foods. So its like take alcohol away and it falls off (of course quicker if I go keto and cut cals...).
Stress can definitely make me feel sick, too. I have actually chalked the general icky feeling up to adrenaline laying around in my body now that 129 days without alcohol I can finally rule that out. Not exercising enough will do it to me (on top of the stress), but then even exercising *too much* will too, so its an annoying balance to find. Not eating enough or sleeping enough does it to me too.
Anyway, figured I would respond because it all sounds so familiar. Hang in there.
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Hello to All. Sounds like everyone is doing great in spite of the stresses!! @errydayimmusclin TOO funny & TOO true,errydayimmusclin wrote: »Jumping on the band wagon here: Happy Consumer Driven Interpretation of Love Day!!!!
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Morning!
After dry January and my mishap on Super Bowl Sunday, I was hesitant on drinking wine yesterday with my husband on Valentine’s Day. He could have cared a less if I drank or not, thus, no pressure. I have had a pretty much dry February as well. I changed my attitude knowing that my limit was two glasses and that’s that! I enjoyed my two glasses and didn’t want more, which is a huge win. I was mindful of my drinking and didn’t want to go down a bad path. It feels great to feel responsible and not let alcohol control the night. I am going back to AF reiterate my healthy habits!
I am going to workout this morning and golf with husband this afternoon. Awesome, feel great!6 -
@laurenq1991 Give it some time. Remember, our skin is an organ. Your liver won't look it's best in a few weeks from abstaining either. It takes a while. Our skin is the organ we wear on the outside and can see it. After I had been drinking and looked terrible I thought,"Good God, what do my organs that I can't see look like?" A sobering thought. Anyway, today in the grocery store the clerk said to me, "Do you get the senior discount?" Which you have to be 60 to get. I am 55. I was thinking, "^&*! you, thanks for ruining my day!" but I politely just said, "Not yet!" I am going to drag my butt back to the gym next week and keep it up this time.
Meh,sometimes store clerks are just dumb,I had a girl ask me the same question a few years back and I was only 37! I just looked at her baffled, plus people in their 20's always think everyone looks old,Happy Friday all!4 -
TGIF everyone! Ready for the weekend. It's been a loooong week! The plan is to take my kids skiing if the weather isn't too cold. Just need to get out of the house and do something.
I'm feeling a little lonely/sad today. Been entertaining the idea of going to the brewery after work for a few beers. I'm missing that social aspect of being out and about, conversing with the locals and meeting new people. But, I know how i'll feel afterwards if I do that, so I won't, but I really, really want to.
How am I only 32 days AF???..... seems so much longer.6 -
So last Saturday I decided I wanted drinks at dinner, as we were going out.. And I had 2, per my old usual. My husband stopped on the way home to get a 6 for himself. I fought with myself mentally and also got a 6 of spiked seltzer. Definitely could've done without.. Had I stuck with the dinner drinks I wouldn't have felt like crap the next day.. On a positive note, the other half of the 6 is in the fridge untouched, which never used to happen. Haven't had anything since.. So I've been AF since 1/8 minus 2 days.. I allowed myself the drinks Saturday bc I felt I deserved them after tolerating some really obnoxious people out of obligation. Interesting how I deserve to ultimately punish myself.. Weird how something so unhealthy has been used as a reward when I feel I've had to endure unpleasant things.. Come Sunday, had a very scary incident with my little one requiring an ER visit.. It was traumatic as all get out and I'm so glad I wasn't drinking! I handled it all like a champ as well as my feelings of rage and helplessness after the fact.. Little guy is ok, btw.. I feel so fortunate that it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.. And it's been a very rough week since, perhaps because I'm seeing anyone's inappropriate, rude, or obnoxious behavior as a personal assault. But I'm still not drinking.. This was a good reminder that I really need to be on call all the time.. And while I was disappointed in myself both times I drank since my decision to go AF, I'm not using a lack of perfection to totally derail, which is a huge shift for me.. I credit this group to that, so thanks all!5
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
Thank you!3 -
Good morning, friends! I have taken some time off from typing on the thread. Just overall sadness in my heart right now due to relationship issues.
I drank twice in Feb. and that makes me so frustrated. I want to be sober 100 percent or at least 99 percent. I will keep trying.
The good....
Had some good successes this month: Super Bowl Party- no alcohol just lots of soda. Went with my husband (soon to be ex) and he stuck to me like glue. He’s hoping I change my mind.
Lobster dinner with four other couples (again with husband) and they all drank lots of wine. I had zero. Perrier is my friend!
No alcohol during deep discussion, tears, sadness over divorce..... so that’s a plus.
Now, the bad....
Scrapbook weekend- one bottle of wine (kept in hotel room) over three days (not horrible). Didn’t drink at hotel bar and saved a lot of money and calories.
Valentines Day evening- was invited to my neighbor’s house for wine and apps. I knew that this was a bad idea. Just us girls! She’s the kind of neighbor who you know has a drinking problem but you go over anyway (selfishly) because you know she’ll have plenty of wine!
Anyway, it was cathartic. We shared a bottle and a half. Talked deeply about our marriages, hopes, fears, dreams etc. Felt pleasantly tipsy afterwards. Then, oh my... went to work Friday with such nausea (no headache); I felt so poisoned. I actually told myself “Good! You should feel sick; it’s a good reminder.” Anyway, I will be forgiving to myself. And I’m still following through with the rule “No drinking at home. Ever.” Will take the rest of February off from my bad friend “alcohol”. Because my body totally doesn’t agree with his evil ways. Xo
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Yellowstone1983 wrote: »So last Saturday I decided I wanted drinks at dinner, as we were going out.. And I had 2, per my old usual. My husband stopped on the way home to get a 6 for himself. I fought with myself mentally and also got a 6 of spiked seltzer. Definitely could've done without.. Had I stuck with the dinner drinks I wouldn't have felt like crap the next day.. On a positive note, the other half of the 6 is in the fridge untouched, which never used to happen. Haven't had anything since.. So I've been AF since 1/8 minus 2 days.. I allowed myself the drinks Saturday bc I felt I deserved them after tolerating some really obnoxious people out of obligation. Interesting how I deserve to ultimately punish myself.. Weird how something so unhealthy has been used as a reward when I feel I've had to endure unpleasant things.. Come Sunday, had a very scary incident with my little one requiring an ER visit.. It was traumatic as all get out and I'm so glad I wasn't drinking! I handled it all like a champ as well as my feelings of rage and helplessness after the fact.. Little guy is ok, btw.. I feel so fortunate that it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.. And it's been a very rough week since, perhaps because I'm seeing anyone's inappropriate, rude, or obnoxious behavior as a personal assault. But I'm still not drinking.. This was a good reminder that I really need to be on call all the time.. And while I was disappointed in myself both times I drank since my decision to go AF, I'm not using a lack of perfection to totally derail, which is a huge shift for me.. I credit this group to that, so thanks all!
Yes, I like the statement Interesting how I deserve to ultimately punish myself.. Isn’t that the truth!?
Happy your little one was ok after ER visit. That is such an incredible stressor for YOU. And yes, what a good thing not to have alcohol in your system in case of emergencies. I’m sending you a big hug. It’s hard not to take things personally. But try to. People’s rude behavior have nothing to do with you. It’s a reflection of their mind and psyche. Xo
I remember this past summer when I was AF, I had to Call the police because my car was damaged by construction. I called non-emergency number. Anyway, two cops came (yes, it’s a small town) and one was like “bad cop” and the other was “good cop”. And as I talked to them, I was so thankful I had nothing to drink when I went out with a girlfriend to dinner that evening.5 -
errydayimmusclin wrote: »TGIF everyone! Ready for the weekend. It's been a loooong week! The plan is to take my kids skiing if the weather isn't too cold. Just need to get out of the house and do something.
I'm feeling a little lonely/sad today. Been entertaining the idea of going to the brewery after work for a few beers. I'm missing that social aspect of being out and about, conversing with the locals and meeting new people. But, I know how i'll feel afterwards if I do that, so I won't, but I really, really want to.
How am I only 32 days AF???..... seems so much longer.
Congrats on day 32~ feels like longer doesn’t it?
Yes, I can relate to being bored and lonely when your routine involved alcohol socially. It’s hard to be the only one not drinking but as so many on this thread have said, that feeling passes and eventually you don’t think about it. Not sure when that will happen, but it will.
Have fun skiing! Such a lovely sport to share with the kids. Xo
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Fitness327wk wrote: »Morning!
After dry January and my mishap on Super Bowl Sunday, I was hesitant on drinking wine yesterday with my husband on Valentine’s Day. He could have cared a less if I drank or not, thus, no pressure. I have had a pretty much dry February as well. I changed my attitude knowing that my limit was two glasses and that’s that! I enjoyed my two glasses and didn’t want more, which is a huge win. I was mindful of my drinking and didn’t want to go down a bad path. It feels great to feel responsible and not let alcohol control the night. I am going back to AF reiterate my healthy habits!
I am going to workout this morning and golf with husband this afternoon. Awesome, feel great!
Love the quote about alcohol not controlling the event! Hope golf went well!
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Oh yes.. one more thing.. Today, three of my best girlfriends are going to a lake house to drink, chat, hang out, etc. I was going to go too. Yesterday due to my nausea, I sent a text that I’m not going. I think it would be a dangerous slide for me to go with them. They are going to drink basically besides hang out. They were disappointed but nice with their replies.
So, instead of having more alcohol and doing all that day drinking.... and feeling totally awful tomorrow, I will be painting, exercising, cleaning, grading papers at home. Just keeping it simple. Xo6 -
@rubyred427 Smart move! I wish you a quiet, peaceful weekend! 👍🥰💃🙋♀️4
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Good morning! It is a beautiful snow-covered day and at 22 days AF...I feel good. In fact, it is the best I have felt in years and years.
I thought I would list a few things I am not missing:- Waking up on the couch at 3 AM exhausted, TV blasting
- Showering every morning, feeling awful, with a pounding head saying, “Never again!” and then by 5 PM, repeating the whole process
- Disappointing my wife and kids
- Struggling to leave room in my calories for my nightly bourbons
- Bloodshot eyes
- Old man skin (my skin is amazing now!)
- Never really sleeping and waking up exhausted every morning
- Leaving the gym after a killer workout and stopping at the liquor store on the way home, then getting hammered
- My so-called drinking buddies...they dropped me fast when I stopped drinking (BTW - I never, ever drank and drove!...one of my “sophisticated” bourbon drinker rules)
- Spending a small fortune on liquor ... mid and top-shelf bourbon made me a very “sophisticated” bourbon snob. Why was I proud of this?
- Staggering, especially if people saw it
I could go on...don’t be like the former me.
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Morning all,RubyRed,good decision on skipping the meet-up with your friends,sounds like you have plenty to keep you busy as it is,Ed_zilla that's a great list! Yellowstone, great you weren't drinking during the visit to the e.r. I've always been scared of something happening while I'm drunk and being too helpless to do much good! Seems like alcohol just sucks all my energy and life out,32 days us great Erry (I had to shorten it!) It does feel like it goes slooooow! I would a been on day 70 today but damn it felt a lot longer!!!! So I'm 70 days-2 could be worse but I'm like Ruby and want 100% wishes for a happy AF day all 6
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@Ed_Zilla Excellent list- those are all so TRUE!
@whitpauly Good morning... wishing you a calm AF day!2 -
10 days without alcohol. Yay! I think I can do it, as long as I don't have to give up coffee and chocolate. :-)9
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