how to not hate exercise?
Options
Replies
-
NOT trying to pick on the OP here
Are you sure about that?Husband works full-time and pays more than his fair share of the household bills. He is extremely active too - working out, running, etc. The OP, on the other hand, works part-time, doesn't exercise, is extremely negative and defeatist; as plenty of people have pointed out, she hates/complains about/doesn't like an awful lot of stuff. The OP doesn't seem to be taking an active role in managing her mental health issues, either. There's no mention of the division of household labor - if the OP is so completely exhausted after an hour of "exercise" that she can't physically do anything the rest of the day, I'm having a hard time imagining she's the one mowing/raking the yard, cleaning out the gutters, trimming the hedges, etc on the weekends either.
Clearly you didn't read critically because we live in an apartment. There are no lawns, gutters, or hedges. We could afford to buy a house but have chosen not to at this point for a variety of reasons. I do the cleaning, cooking, laundry, household management, and so on. In fact my husband has no idea how to clean or cook and I have never seen him do either. I still did it all back when I worked full-time. I also pay for more stuff than my husband does. I pay for 1/3rd the rent, all the groceries and household consumables including his stuff, all my own personal expenses, and we split the bill when we go out. I inherited 25% of my grandma's estate and still have over $90K in the bank. Not that any of that is your business.I'm not even gonna ask about their sex life (or my assumed lack thereof).
Wow. Just wow.She USED to be a runner; if he dated and proposed to an active person, and then...nope...oh and it's not like he can go adopt a furry running buddy from the shelter because she doesn't like (or is afraid of) dogs...
I hadn't been a runner for years when we met. I was only on the track team for college admissions and immediately quit right after I got into college early decision. Also he was obese when we met. He was also well aware that I had mental health issues and a terrible family background. We were friends for over a year before we started dating. He has his own problems, his own mental health history, and his own family dysfunctions (and his family has imposed on me a lot more than my family ever imposed on him), so he can't really judge me. He's also ten years older than me and has said multiple times that he was actually less functional at my age than I am.
Also as I said I'm not afraid of all dogs, just ones big enough to kill me, but he doesn't want one anyway. He is allergic to cats, my MIL (who lives with us due to her disabilities, which is not something I ever wanted to happen BTW but I put up with it for his sake) is allergic to both cats and dogs, and my MIL has a parakeet so if we got any carnivorous pet there could be an issue.I don't think he's totally out-of-bounds in wanting her to be more active again, to recapture that person he fell in love with and is trying to make/have a life with. He may be feeling trapped and is trying his best to make things work before he throws in the towel.
We're also hearing her side of the story as far as his criticisms of the OP go - sure, it's possible he's approaching this less-than-tactfully, but flip side, given the OP's description of how horrible 99% of everything is, it's also possible he's extremely sensitive in his approach, but she's taking it the wrong way and painting him to be a bad guy. He may be struggling & putting forth a LOT of effort in trying to be happy in their marriage.
I didn't criticize him. You guys are the ones who criticized him. I just said that he constantly nags me to run and says it will solve all my problems. He would not disagree with that statement because that is just a statement of fact.
Also that's quite an assumption that he wants to dump me. If he wanted to he would do it. I have told him that he should never be with me out of guilt or obligation. But he says he is happy with our relationship even with my problems. I don't understand it either but apparently he likes me for some reason.-You mentioned you can walk 20 miles/day; average walking pace is ~3mph, which means you'll spend 6-7 hours walking (and I'm assuming it's not perfectly flat terrain, meaning you're walking up/down hills etc too), but an hour of "exercise" wears you out so badly you're exhausted for half the day? Somehow in my mind that's a bit...distorted, to say the least.
I don't understand the physiological dynamics behind it either, but I assume it has something to do with the effects of exercise that causes me to get out of breath, vs. exercise that doesn't.-Shop around for acupuncture; where I go it's $20/session.
I doubt I could get that price in the NYC area.
BTW I've seen a lot of nasty and totally uncalled for comments on MFP and other internet forums, but this has got to take the cake as the absolute worst!13 -
rheddmobile wrote: »My sympathy for your parental situation, seriously. Mine were just straight up physically abusive, and the damage pops up years later when you least expect it. The thing is, it's not your parents whose lives are getting screwed up now, it's yours, and it's on you to deal with it, because no one else is going to.
Oh there was tons of physical abuse from my mom too. My dad just let it happen and eventually abandoned us. She only stopped after CPS investigated her. Which she blamed us for.
I am dealing with it. I have actually been making progress every year. MFP people may not think it's fast enough for their standards. But they also don't know how bad things were five years ago, or even two years ago.
2 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
You don't like other people's music.
You don't like other drivers.
You don't like dogs.
You don't like changing your clothes.
You don't like sweat.
I believe that I have legitimate reasons for not liking these things.
I don't think anyone likes having to listen to music they hate blasted at top volume with no way to escape it, especially when they are already doing something they're not a fan of. I love many kinds of music but generally not most pop music which is usually what is played. I don't know why businesses feel this need to force music on people. What's wrong with silence and letting people choose if they want to listen to something, and what to listen to?
I hate the *kitten* pop music played at my gym.
Here is a solution to one of your issues, noise cancelling headphones $22.99:
https://www.amazon.com/Bluetooth-Headphones-Earphones-Sweatproof-Cancelling/dp/B07N53L99D/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1550806374&sr=8-14&keywords=noise+cancelling+headphones+sport
4 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »
BTW I've seen a lot of nasty and totally uncalled for comments on MFP and other internet forums, but this has got to take the cake as the absolute worst!
Agreed. That comment is absolutely ridiculous. I understand wanting to defend yourself but you're under no obligation to justify anything to anyone here, especially people like that. He's projecting so hard it should come with trailers and a concessions stand.8 -
OP, outside of exercise, what are things that you like and why do you like them? What gives you passion?
Is there anything you doubted early on, but changed your mind on over time and are now passionate about?
Yep. These are leading questions.2 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
You don't like other people's music.
You don't like other drivers.
You don't like dogs.
You don't like changing your clothes.
You don't like sweat.
I believe that I have legitimate reasons for not liking these things.
t.
I actually misquoted your OP and didn't make my point strongly enough.
You didn't say you "don't like" those things. Your OP said "I HATE!" Over and over. You HATE everything.
There's a difference between just "not liking" something and HATING something -- and in many cases, its a difference in perspective. I don't like some kinds of music, but I can shrug and say "Yeah, that's not for me."
The vehemence of the repeated use of "HATE" gives the feeling I was talking about - that you're in a negative place, and you're responding by doubling down and becoming angry and oppositional about it.
No one is saying you have to love music, bad drivers, dogs, etc. But what I meant about "reframing" with the help of a counselor is this: We cannot arrange the world to our specifications. We can be angry about that, or we can accept that there are things we won't like as much, and not let those things ruin our day and prevent us from living our lives.
It may sound "Pollyanna-ish," I know. But I also know that once you get into a rut of moving through the world in hate and anger, it drags you down further and further. And you're REALLY going to "hate" this suggestion, but the idea of "gratitude journaling" or some variant on that ? Has been shown to help by creating a habit of reframing. This doesn't have to be religious gratitude, and most people's aren't. Just getting in the practice of maki nga list every day of three good things that happened, or three things that made you smile, or three things you did well? Has actually been shown to benefit people.8 -
Agreed. That comment is absolutely ridiculous. I understand wanting to defend yourself but you're under no obligation to justify anything to anyone here, especially people like that. He's projecting so hard it should come with trailers and a concessions stand.
Well at least one person in this thread has basic respect for me. I am actually going to stop responding to this thread now because I am disappointed in how many people liked that comment and this will be my last post on MFP. I've been on several forums in my life and, while MFP also has some great people, there is also a really nasty superiority complex sort of attitude pervading this forum that is far beyond what I have seen on other forums. I feel like many people in this thread are enjoying this whole discussion way too much. I thought that people were responding because they actually wanted to give advice, but now I'm wondering how many were actually here to judge and mock me, and gawk at me like I'm some kind of circus sideshow. This thread was not supposed to be about the details of my sex life or my family's finances or whether my husband secretly wants to divorce me, and if people don't see why it's out of line and downright creepy for a stranger who has never even met me or my husband to wildly speculate on those things, then I don't know what to say to you people.7 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »HeliumIsNoble wrote: »I empathise with so much of your posts, OP, especially the delayed sleep phase disorder. I agree that general sleeplessness is probably making your goals seem more insurmountable. I find exercise mitigates my sleeping issues to an extent.
Some thoughts:
1) it doesn't have to be full-pelt, sweat dripping down your face levels of activity to qualify as exercise and improve your health.
2) any possibility your energy levels could be due to nutritional deficiencies? Have you already been able to discount that?
3) Perhaps the kinds of activity you've tried so far just aren't right for you. To use running as an example, some people are more comfortable running short distances very fast, and other people like to go a bit more slowly for a lot longer. Neither is superior to the other.
4) Arrange your hatreds in priority order and separate them into an Absolutely No Way list and a Can Possibly Begrudgingly Endure list. Then set up a new list called, What I Want My Form of Exercise To Have. If that doesn't give you ideas on what to try, posting your lists on MFP will get you overwhelmed with suggestions!
Thanks for all the suggestions. The sleep problems definitely mess up my whole life. I can't have any routine because of it, since I never know when I will sleep or get up or how many hours I will sleep. My whole life would be different if I didn't have insomnia. Last night I couldn't sleep until 7 am. I got up at noon, the original goal was 9:30 but I knew I would be too tired to get anything done with under three hours sleep. I was also too tired to work out today since I had more important things to preserve my energy for, like work and cooking. It messes up my concentration and cognitive functioning too.
I thought "vigorous exercise" is what the expert recommendations call for. That's why I want to do exercise besides walking.
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/HealthyLiving/PhysicalActivity/FitnessBasics/American-Heart-Association-Recommendations-for-Physical-Activityin-Adults_UCM_307976_Article.jsp#.XHAw5OhKiUkAHA Recommendation
For Overall Cardiovascular Health:
At least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity at least 5 days per week for a total of 150
OR
At least 25 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity at least 3 days per week for a total of 75 minutes; or a combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic activity
AND
Moderate- to high-intensity muscle-strengthening activity at least 2 days per week for additional health benefits.
For Lowering Blood Pressure and Cholesterol
An average 40 minutes of moderate- to vigorous-intensity aerobic activity 3 or 4 times per week
This includes things like climbing stairs or playing sports. Aerobic exercises benefit your heart, and include walking, jogging, swimming or biking. Strength and stretching exercises are best for overall stamina and flexibility.
The simplest, positive change you can make to effectively improve your heart health is to start walking. It's enjoyable, free, easy, social and great exercise. A walking program is flexible and boasts high success rates because people can stick with it. It's easy for walking to become a regular and satisfying part of life.
From the experts...
If you want to start engaging in exercise that is of higher intensity, I would suggest introducing it slowly. Fitness is something that is built over time and not something you can rush. But walking is just fine and is considered moderate exercise.2 -
I eat differently day to day depending on what time I'm going to work out - and I try and have a protein bar or a banana or something semi dense but not overly filling 30-60 minutes before I work out... otherwise I can FEEL my weakness mid workout.
800-1000 calories feels like a lot for a first meal, but I'm no professional. I think I stick in the 250-300 range for breakfast.
And I like what Cheryldumais said and your response to her too - try your best to NOT compare yourself with others. You're only in competition with yourself. We're all wired differently1 -
Wow.
I started reading this thread because I have similar issues with exercise- finding it unpleasant and becoming excessively tired afterwards. But then, I quickly came to identify with the OP's mental state, and the comments, and OP's responses to them, were eye-opening. This must be what I sound like to an objective observer. Thank you to the OP for starting the thread and to those who pointed out the connection to mental health. Maybe the OP didn't find it helpful, but I did.
16 -
Hi, lots of comments on here that are helpful and lots that are just critical. My view is the best thing you can do is firstly stop thinking of it as exersize with a view to get fit, instead make an aim to try as many different activities that challenge your body as possible and do as many as poss 2-3 times each, make a list of them and score them on a 1-5 scale on how much you enjoyed them, 1-5 on how you found them physically both at the time and afterwards. This allows you to look back and hopefully find something you feel you can get on with. Secondary you said financially you are well enough off, now this could mean anything from ou can feed yourself daily to you can buy a second home, new car and a boat tomorrow if you wanted. ( I'm uk so although you mentioned money figures I can't relate too well to them) but you need to stop thinking of yourself as unworthy of having that money spent on you weather it is for health care or an activity you enjoy so if you for example try and love rock climbing but it costs X to get there ( no car) and X for the session so what? If you enjoy it and it improves your mood and body and you can afford it then do it, you are important and your ( excess) money should be spent on things you enjoy. Obviously if you are trying to save money or you have less than I think you post surge sets then you would need to factor it in more but please don't write something you enjoy or need of just because it's not free and you don't feel worthy enough to spend money on it. Also I know you have said your not overweight but that doesn't mean your diet it right for you, you sound an active person so just double check you are getting enough from your food and you may find by adjusting macros you can gain a little more energy. With regard to sleep/ energy my only way I can relate is although I love my bed and can fall asleep any chance I get I work 12 - 14 hour nights 6 days a week and then care for my 2 children during the day and I'm always tired but it my choice if I'm a grumpy tired or I fake happiness and energy. It's hard but after 10 years of this I'm physically and mentally tired but I'm also now able to smile and be genuinely happy and go about my day with enough energy to get through, it's not the same as after I've had a good sleep but don't underestimate the power of positive thoughts and faking it if needed, it won't change the underlining problems and isn't easy to do but well worth it . as an example you hate getting sweaty but if you do a hard 15 min workout at home then jump straight in the shower and then clean clothes eventually your thought process on sweat will adjust as you are only uncomfatable for a short time followed by something you ( presuamalbly ) find pleasant. Eventually your tolerance to sweat will increase to where you can either be sweating for slightly longer or you can get sweaty but are OK to wait for a few mins for your shower. What ever you choose good luck x
2 -
I have multiple sclerosis. Was diagnosed in 2005.My ability to walk is very limited I need to use a wheelchair now everyday. I use my wheelchair to get out and push myself as often as I can for exercise, also use it for doing some weight training.
I still work. I'm married, we have 2 children and 3 grandchildren.
Doing exercise as much as I can is a big part of my life, the benefits are great.
As much and as often I can I do not let MS get me down. Be postive!!.12 -
I play just dance on the WiiU. It made exercise fun. I hate working out. So much. But along with changing up my diet and playing those just dance games everyday, I managed to lose 25 lbs in 5weeks.8
-
For me, I have found, that remembering that it’s not a race, it’s not a competition, and I can go at my own pace- helps tremendously.2
-
racheyrox77 wrote: »I play just dance on the WiiU. It made exercise fun. I hate working out. So much. But along with changing up my diet and playing those just dance games everyday, I managed to lose 25 lbs in 5weeks.
After I had my daughter in 2006 I found myself at 245lbs. I played Dance Dance Revolution on PS2 at night. (I was a single mom so just me and baby and she slept good and hard). I lost 95lbs in 15 months doing that and cutting out regular soda! DDR was so so so much fun. It felt more like me just playing a game trying to beat my high scores vs "ok let's go workout now"7 -
I hate exercise also. The only thing I slightly enjoy is dancing , but only if no one is home and I can play music that really moves me!2
-
OP I know you said you aren’t checking this anymore, but none the less.
I also hate exercise (less, and for different reasons), and am hoping to work on that, how I found this thread.
First off, some of the negative comments are absolutely inappropriate and you (no one) deserves that.
A few thoughts/suggestions:
*Because you’ve had some negative experiences with therapy, maybe a support group could be beneficial alternative. It’s not 1-1, the people there have similar issues so won’t judge, and it can only be helpful. And they have them for tons of issues.
*there are GPs that are experienced with mental health issues. Try to find one to talk to about medication and/or lifestyle changes that could help with the insomnia and mental health issues, instead of conventional therapy.
*if you find the exercise bike boring, find a show you like and only allow yourself to watch it while on the bike. It’s motivating and it cuts the monotony. I do that on my phone when I go to the gym (rare occasions, but I’m working on it)
*you indicate that you can be motivated by stressful situations. Sign up for a race and prepare for that. Pay for it. Tell everyone you know you’re doing a 10k (or whatever is realistic for you). That way you’re forced to prepare for it and complete it.
*you don’t like sweating, and you want to tone. I recommend yoga. Some of the fitest and most toned people I know do it largely through yoga. It doesn’t seem like much, buttoga is a scale, lots of types and they all have more challenging poses or variations. Pilates too.
*you listed a few things you like/are willing to do, but none often. Maybe you should do the same thing 3x a week. Go for a run one day, use the bike another, add in a yoga video, a toning session with home weights, maybe a trip to the pool or a hike with friends when it gets nice. Maybe the key for you is having a couple of things you do regularly but not frequently.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 389 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 919 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions