The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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walterm852 wrote: »Hey everyone ... joining the thread. I have been a steady MFP'r for years although I took a recent 2 month break. Fortunately I have never taken a break from deciding not to drink anymore since 7/30/94 - 24 years, grateful to all that have helped me on this journey
Welcome!! Great to have you!! Inspiring to hear of your 24 years!! We welcome your input!!4 -
salleewins wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning friends!
@Beka3695 Happy you worked through the struggle.
This morning, we had an unexpected snow storm. Several inches on the ground. I was thinking back to early fall, newly sober, I decided to start a Sunday morning ritual with my daughter. Taking her to Starbucks on Sunday mornings to do the puzzles in the newspaper. Now, she will be graduating high school. I’m so happy I did that during her senior year. But I would have never done that or thought of it, if I hadn’t become sober. I have never missed a Sunday morning with her all these months because I didn’t have a hangover or stay out too late on Saturday night drinking. Yet another blessing of sobriety.
I also met with my friend who is an addiction counselor. We talked about our struggles; he’s been sober 15 years but is addicted to sugar. I guess an addicted mind is susceptible to anything. I am going to go back to AA meetings once a week.
I broke sobriety last December after 4 months. And have been having a hard time getting it back. I just had a huge warning sign last week, I opened the fridge and saw an open bottle of wine... and took a swig!! Right then I knew I am another swig away from sliding.
Cheers to a peaceful Sunday! I’m off to Starbucks!
Ruby I heard that the disease is progressive and that it gets harder and harder if we go back. Either that or the stress we are under makes it harder and harder. You sure are giving it your best with those hard times you are going through!! Thank you for being honest. Also thank you for sharing about the time with your daughter. Those memories are way better than the drinking times. I am so glad you have been able to do that with her. I try and get together regularly with my girl, who will be 30 in May. Unbelievable how time does evaporate.
Really wise point that the disease is progressive. That makes sense to me. Appreciate your post! You’re right- spending time with a clear heart and mind totally tops a few hours of numbing drinking.4 -
@donimfp We are so happy to hear from you. I and many others can relate. First, you think “how bad was it really?’ Then, you get curious and take a few sips... then, for a little while you have a glass here or there,... and so on.. We have been there. I am there. So now I’m at day 4. The beauty of each morning is renewed hope. Day 1, 2, 3, and before you know it day 10. Then, a month and hopefully a year...
I don’t know why the stubborn part of the addicted brain thinks life is more fun or relaxing or easier drinking. I also hate how I look when I drink and many days after.
The other thing that brings me hope is that all of us in the Sober Squad do not give up. We keep trying even if we have a dozen “day 1s”. Cheers (with Perrier) to a quick April and May. Then, you’ll be able to say I did my job well and made a positive impact in these young people’s lives. I believe all the experiences we have are for the development of our soul. Bravo for a year of amazing influence and inspiration.8 -
IWillTakeBackMyLife wrote: »35 days sober. Here's to a sober April! Good luck everybody.
Awesome! I can’t wait to reach day 35!
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Thanks so much for the welcome back. RubyRed I'm excited to be on Day 3 right behind your Day 4. You're always such an inspiration. I taught my classes today with SUCH a different energy because I hadn't had any alcohol since Friday night. First period was cray cray in many ways, including the guards bringing the kids a whole 10 minutes early before I even had time to set up after missing work Friday, but because I was so clearheaded, I just took it in stride and surprised them with their April Fools joke (a very lame "motivational Monday" video I tried to show them with a straight face).
However, the very first thing I want when I walk into the door at home is a vodka and San Pellegrino. It's really hard not to have that. I had a decaf coffee and came to read the posts here, which really helped. We all know how worth it being sober is, but we also all know how bizarre-ly hard it can be not to kid ourselves into just having that "one." Argghh. Thanks to everyone for the inspiration here. Any success at being AF I've had since January 2018 has been due to this group.9 -
Happy Monday night to all. 180 days AF today for me...will have 6 months on Wednesday, if all goes as planned. I don’t post much, but appreciate everyone’s insight. I’m laying on the couch with my Diet Ale 8 watching my Cincinnati Reds. ⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️
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@Beka3695 Awesome goals! Good luck! Being sober will help you achieve all the rest. If I don't stay sober, the rest of the goals go out the window, especially eating well. We are rooting for you! I am trying to eat healthy and exercise too but staying sober is priority number one for me so if I cave in ANY way it will have to be dessert, not booze.8
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@whitpauly You have had such wonderful success these past few months!! 2
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This thread is on FIRE!!!! LOL So many awesome comments....I'm pooped & need to go to dreamsville, but definitely want to say WELCOME BACK to @donimfp...obviously we all missed you very much...love your insight!! Everyone is doing great regardless of what day we`re on or if we`re back to day 1...we are ALL here!
@RubyRed427 I was wondering today if we'll be moving around the same time...your move will be so much more involved than mine especially emotionally. I think about you a lot these days & my heart goes out to you cause I know how difficult it is to end a marriage, but you are a strong woman and this stage will make you that much stronger.
It was interesting your comment about the addicted brain wanting to convince us that we`re missing something and how gradually the downward slide begins. As I was pulling onto my new street today, I was thinking about how I`d miss having a celebratory glass(es) of wine at my new digs...where the H...E double hockey sticks did THAT come from...but you hit the nail on the head...It is my "addicted brain"!!!!!
NOW I need to put my addicted brain to bed!
Goodnight to ALL and sweet dreams 6 -
Hey all, Lorraine,you and RubyRed get fresh new starts with no drinking memories in your new homes! It's gonna be awesome yup those thoughts have been hitting me,not the wanting to drink but the wanting to get drunk(is there a difference?) It's not the taste if booze I've thought of it's just that"escape" but then I think of the DAYS it takes to recover and it don't seem so exciting anymore,wishes for a Fab AF day for us all! 7
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Happy Monday night to all. 180 days AF today for me...will have 6 months on Wednesday, if all goes as planned. I don’t post much, but appreciate everyone’s insight. I’m laying on the couch with my Diet Ale 8 watching my Cincinnati Reds. ⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️
@razorcut We all have our downfalls - maybe one day you can be a Cardinal fan
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DAY EIGHT IS GREAT!!!!
Last night was not a struggle at all! I am so pleased with how much easier it is getting. I know there will be struggles ahead, but I am totally enjoying the way I am feeling now!!11 -
One of the many ways I knew my life was off kilter when I was drinking is that I had virtually stopped reading. I watched STUPID videos on my computer till all hours, but I read few books. Reading books required sober attention and was just too hard after (however many) glasses of wine. I noticed this, like I noticed so many other things, but it became the new normal. I am now more than 100 days AF and last night I stayed up till midnight reading a first novel by someone -- and snacking! Of course, there's hell to pay on the scale this morning from the unauthorized snacking, but I have given myself a pass because I just lost myself in that book and it had been so long since I felt that way. Tonight I'll finish the book (sans snacks) and I look forward to a new, new normal where reading gets a place back in my life. It makes me very happy!10
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@Ed_Zilla: 😂 I have no hate for the Cardinals....they’re just not my Reds. Hopefully I’ll be able to catch some of them again tonight.
@lagoscarrie: what book are you on now? Leisure reading is something I’m trying to get back into also.4 -
Another thing I have noticed since going AF a little over 2 months ago -
When I was drinking I could stay up till whenever or I passed out on the couch at some very late time...NOW...I get tired, I mean I really-really start to get sleepy at 8:30 or so. I never-ever got sleepy when I was drinking. 8:00 was the start of bourbon o'clock.10 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@salleewins I cannot imagine your grief Yet the strength you show is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your raw emotions with us. It takes courage to bare your soul. I hope by sharing your story that you are able to heal a bit more and, please, never underestimate how your willingness to share your struggles may help someone else who is reading to progress in their healing journey. BIG hugs to you and may you find a measure of peace.
I too am a Bible reader and find comfort in knowing our Creator will undo all the evil in this world. In fact, it states, "in a little while..." no more pain, no more death!!!
Christian here as well. 🙏👍❤️🥰4 -
IWillTakeBackMyLife wrote: »35 days sober. Here's to a sober April! Good luck everybody.
Awesome!!!2 -
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walterm852 wrote: »Hey everyone ... joining the thread. I have been a steady MFP'r for years although I took a recent 2 month break. Fortunately I have never taken a break from deciding not to drink anymore since 7/30/94 - 24 years, grateful to all that have helped me on this journey
That is amazing!
24 years, what’s the most important thing you think you’ve learned ?
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Hey all, Lorraine,you and RubyRed get fresh new starts with no drinking memories in your new homes! It's gonna be awesome yup those thoughts have been hitting me,not the wanting to drink but the wanting to get drunk(is there a difference?) It's not the taste if booze I've thought of it's just that"escape" but then I think of the DAYS it takes to recover and it don't seem so exciting anymore,wishes for a Fab AF day for us all!
I like that, "fresh new starts with no drinking memories" AND I agree with you on the "escape" being the temptation as opposed to the taste....AND about the consequences taking the excitement away.5 -
WELCOME to all the new faces! So much inspiration on this thread
@walterm852 I like @Monkeyfreck's question re: what you've learned through 24 years of sobriety.
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Day 4 and feeling a bit resentful that I can’t use alcohol to make me temporarily forget that my life is nothing but work and sleep these days. Luckily last weekend’s insane insomnia has scared me enough to resist.
@Ed_Zilla your post was interesting because I’ve come home from work SO sleepy these last 2 sober days. I was asleep by 9 last night after fighting sleep from about 6 on. Same thing tonight. That really surprised me because I would have expected the lack of booze to give me more, not less, energy.
I’m ready for this to get easier.8 -
Hey all, Lorraine,you and RubyRed get fresh new starts with no drinking memories in your new homes! It's gonna be awesome yup those thoughts have been hitting me,not the wanting to drink but the wanting to get drunk(is there a difference?) It's not the taste if booze I've thought of it's just that"escape" but then I think of the DAYS it takes to recover and it don't seem so exciting anymore,wishes for a Fab AF day for us all!
Thanks for the message Yes, fresh start is good in many ways.
For sure I can relate to the “escape” alcohol provides. I always found for the few hours of fun, probably one to two hours of escape, I either threw up, lied in bed with the room spinning and one leg on the ground, hangover that hits abou noon on a work day and putting a garbage can next to my desk at work....
For me, it is DAYS. After the hangover, I then feel so anxious and depressed...
Let’s stay on track; it is easier to resist the urge than to suffer the after effects. Hugs to you!! I’m so proud of you!8 -
@lorrainequiche59 Yes, we are both moving; I’m excited to set up a new place; buy fresh furniture than old banged up things. The only problem is the day I pull out of my driveway, I know I am going to cry all the way to the new place. I sometimes feel like I’m abandoning my dreams and my family; but I also know that this is the healthiest thing for me long term.
I think let’s just continue looking forward and staying present. That’s all we have anyway.. the here and now. And I plan on having a wonderful sober summer with all of you. Wishing you a wonderful move! Everything in life changes. Nothing is constant. I think’s better to not resist and accept what is...
Sorry for the “journal entry”. I think I’m doing some self-talk in this post. Hugs!12 -
Day 4 and feeling a bit resentful that I can’t use alcohol to make me temporarily forget that my life is nothing but work and sleep these days. Luckily last weekend’s insane insomnia has scared me enough to resist.
@Ed_Zilla your post was interesting because I’ve come home from work SO sleepy these last 2 sober days. I was asleep by 9 last night after fighting sleep from about 6 on. Same thing tonight. That really surprised me because I would have expected the lack of booze to give me more, not less, energy.
I’m ready for this to get easier.
@donimfp
Hang in there. Your are in for a sleep treat after a few days. You will start sleeping like a teenager on a rainy Saturday morning.
As for energy - hang in there again - I am breaking ALL of my records for swimming, cycling and running now that I am AF. I exercise better and recover better.
FWIW - It took me a week or so to start to get in the AF groove though...old habits die hard.7 -
Day 4 and feeling a bit resentful that I can’t use alcohol to make me temporarily forget that my life is nothing but work and sleep these days. Luckily last weekend’s insane insomnia has scared me enough to resist.
@Ed_Zilla your post was interesting because I’ve come home from work SO sleepy these last 2 sober days. I was asleep by 9 last night after fighting sleep from about 6 on. Same thing tonight. That really surprised me because I would have expected the lack of booze to give me more, not less, energy.
I’m ready for this to get easier.
With all the work, you could still be tired. Without booze, your body is probably needing to catch up on sleep as the alcohol does not give restful sleep. Keep trying! If you drink, it will definitely stay work, sleep (not great sleep) and now alcohol.4 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Hey all, Lorraine,you and RubyRed get fresh new starts with no drinking memories in your new homes! It's gonna be awesome yup those thoughts have been hitting me,not the wanting to drink but the wanting to get drunk(is there a difference?) It's not the taste if booze I've thought of it's just that"escape" but then I think of the DAYS it takes to recover and it don't seem so exciting anymore,wishes for a Fab AF day for us all!
I like that, "fresh new starts with no drinking memories" AND I agree with you on the "escape" being the temptation as opposed to the taste....AND about the consequences taking the excitement away.
I used alcohol as an escape, too. I would buy cheap, high alcohol beer then mix it with pineapple juice or the like cuz I hate the taste of beer. I really hate the taste of liquor, too. Ugh. It has to be so covered up. I feel quesy thinking of it. My life centered around alcohol.3 -
Keep going everyone! Me, too! It is worth it! Today is the 4th anniversary of my son David, young man of 22, leaving here. I saw him here 4 years ago yesterday. I saw someone that reminded me of him yesterday as well. Amazing. Tall, lanky and that turquoise hooded sweatshirt that I have been wearing lately with the hood up. I can't drink to escape. I believe he knows what I am doing and I don't want him to see me drinking. He would have to pray harder for me. He wanted me to quit. I don't want to be short tempered with his cat today either. The cat has a tendency to whine a lot, lol. Ugh, please, lol. Have some things planned to make my life enjoyable today, in spite of it all, and honor the day I have been given. Thank God I am not at work.9
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Monkeyfreck wrote: »walterm852 wrote: »Hey everyone ... joining the thread. I have been a steady MFP'r for years although I took a recent 2 month break. Fortunately I have never taken a break from deciding not to drink anymore since 7/30/94 - 24 years, grateful to all that have helped me on this journey
That is amazing!
24 years, what’s the most important thing you think you’ve learned ?
@lorrainequiche59 @Monkeyfreck
This paradox - life is a series of surrenders ... so I can have ultimate freedom - not only from substances ... but from myself (mind). Although I have a solid Big Book and Steps knowledge, I need others, to be grateful and right sized5
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