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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Hi Everyone! I woke up on Easter Monday so happy. IT was a little difficult having our usual Easter Sunday dinner at our house for the last time. The 24 relatives were all there and I felt in my mind that I am ripping apart their traditions too (by getting a divorce). We have hosted for the last decade Easter Sunday. Anyway, I managed to stay positive and not let my mind experience guilt or shame. I was friendly and happy with all the guests, his and mine. And they were equally kind to me.
I didn’t feel tempted to drink because I had my “game face” on. I couldn't afford to get weepy or sappy which I would have done after a few glasses of wine. Instead, I stayed strong and sober. Everyone else drank very moderately. (Wish I could be like that. Ha!
)
Lately, when I am feeling panicked about my decision to divorce, I keep saying “Ruby, look froward and not back!” I also say ‘Accept what is. Now what you wish it to be.” Happy everyone did well. And I understand Veggie Girl’s feeling of being alone in a crowd. I felt that way last year around my girlfriends and for awhile I just didn’t go out with them. I guess you can’t do that with your relatives. But I’m sure if at times, you just want to send your regrets and stay home, that’s ok too. Do what’s best for you. Xo
@razorcut Awesome changes!! Wow- that’s inspiring.
Your positive attitude and view looking forward are inspiring! Thanks so much! 😊5 -
4 years and 3 months sober here. I'm 30 years old. This sounds like a supportive thread!14
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@VeggieGirlforLife It makes me wonder if you couldn't schedule quality time with your parents alone and explain you'd prefer to see them one-on-one rather than as part of the group. It seems like a lot of unnecessary suffering to get to spend time with your parents.5
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@kevinrfletcher Welcome Back! Glad you had an awesome AF week!!
@RubyRed
@kns1988 Welcome. YES, we are a supportive thread. Nice to have you with us
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lagoscarrie wrote: »@VeggieGirlforLife It makes me wonder if you couldn't schedule quality time with your parents alone and explain you'd prefer to see them one-on-one rather than as part of the group. It seems like a lot of unnecessary suffering to get to spend time with your parents.
My mom was all about family getting together & no one EVER missed a family event unless there was a conflict with their spouse's family. Not sure if @VeggieGirlforLife feels that type of obligation and her absence would be as uncomfortable for her parents as being there is for her. Unsure of the family dynamics in that sense....just wondering about her feeling an obligation to her parents to attend. That's how I read her comment. Not sure now though.
BUT, I'll let her answer for herself LOL 
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Thanks to everyone for your helpful responses! @lagoscarrie I do spend time visiting my parents on my own either at their place or mine, but these events like Easter and upcoming ones like Mother's Day, Father's Day, both parents' summer birthdays, are always spent in a group. My mom likes it that way, she has explained to me before that she and my dad like their kids in one place on special days. It means a lot to them and no one ever misses these things. So @lorrainequiche59 yes, you've got it, I feel obligated to be there. My mom would feel super embarrassed if I wasn't there and it would definitely hurt their feelings. I wish very much that it wasn't that way, but other than moving to another state and having traveling conflicts, I don't see how I'd ever account for my absence and even then would feel so guilty for letting them down.
I think I'm just going to have to learn to cope, sober, with my brother's dreadful in-laws and all the alcohol flowing. For the record, my parents don't always drink and when they do, it's only at these holidays and special occasions! My brother however, drinks like a fish on a daily basis and I don't see that ever stopping. I've never really seen him drunk, it's more like he lives in a constant buzz when he's not working.
I never realized how much I liked alcohol as a buffer when in a group like that. It's easy when I'm alone anymore to not drink compared to that.8 -
And thank you @SweatsOnSunday for letting me know so many others have a similar experience. I don't personally, in real life, know anyone who seems to feel the way I do, so it makes me feel better to hear that.3
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4 years and 3 months sober here. I'm 30 years old. This sounds like a supportive thread!
Welcome!!! I’m also a 1988 baby! *high five* and super impressed with over 4 years of sobriety -amazing. 👍🏽
Hope everyone had a nice Easter... I had similar experiences as everyone else... I was tempted a handful of times to just get one glass of wine 🍷. My parents usually have copious amounts of wine and they drink (not a whole lot) but we bond over a glass or two whenever I see them. I stayed strong! And I went out with some girlfriends, and thankfully they’re health conscious and not huge drinkers. They didn’t notice that I kept ordering water.. but I wanted a glass of wine when I was with them too lol. I managed to stay sober, but gosh was it hard. Then I saw another friend of mine and we both got mock tails and she opened up she was trying to cut back on drinking. That was an exciting discovery! That outing was a breeze since we were both on the same page. Cool stuff.
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@VeggieGirlforLife You are coping with a very difficult situation in a loving and courageous way--you're changing what you can (your decision to be AF) and seeing that some things are beyond your control (your brother's drinking).4
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Day 46 ~ Still plugging along...6
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3 months AF today ---also--- Hit goal weight today. I am stoked!
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Still plugging along is all we can say some days. That’s a good thing though, right?
Day 27 for me. In the old days when I harbored fantasies of moderation I thought “Doing a 30” would set me up. Inevitably by Day 32 I was back to the misery. So now I know Day 27 is just very early days. Still plugging along and determined not to stop.
I’m taking a mental health day tomorrow so wishing everyone a great weekend!7 -
Great to find this group! Alcohol has always went hand in hand with my weight problem and is a problem in and of itself, I am sober now with the help of Smart Recovery a secular organization for sobriety. Losing weight is much simpler without alcohol, living life is much simpler without alcohol too!11
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Congrats @kevinrfletcher and @Ed_Zilla 👍👍10
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Congratulations @kevinrfletcher !
Congratulations @Ed_Zilla Way to go! That is awesome that you also met your goal weight!
@donimfp You are so close to 30! Enjoy your mental health day!8 -
@Ed_Zilla Congrats! Man, 3 months AND goal weight? Sweet!
@donimfp Enjoy that mental health day! Here's to 27 more, and on from there!
@shiandy8406 It's amazing how much faster the weight comes off without the alcohol. Beer always led to bad eating habits. The bourbon just led to bad habits, but I digress.....
@razorcut Thanks!8 -
@audreypawdrey Thanks! Your post came through as I was posting the previous one... didn't want you feeling all left out or anything! 4
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@lorrainequiche59 Thanks! It was an awesome AF week... giggle... smmmpphhh.... sorry. I'm still 13 on the inside.6
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Still plugging along is all we can say some days. That’s a good thing though, right?
Day 27 for me. In the old days when I harbored fantasies of moderation I thought “Doing a 30” would set me up. Inevitably by Day 32 I was back to the misery. So now I know Day 27 is just very early days. Still plugging along and determined not to stop.
I’m taking a mental health day tomorrow so wishing everyone a great weekend!
I'm only loosely counting my AF days cuz I'm one of those self sabotagers haha! Everyone is doing well,congrats on the milestones and have a Fab AF day 7 -
Yikes, my "notification" button says I've missed 129 posts. I've been reading through and I'm so proud and inspired. I can also relate to the many triggers out there. Easter and holidays can be tricky. @VeggieGirlforLife I understand how difficult family gatherings can be. We went to my husband's ex-wife's for Easter....Yep...that's a post for another day.
I wanted to share a victory with y'all. My husband went on an overnight fishing trip with his sons on Tuesday. I had the house to myself. I knew that his cell reception would be spotty at best, so no danger of him hearing me slur my words. I had an internal battle going on but I kept busy. I decided to go through a pile of old magazines and take all the staples out so they could be recycled. You know...super important stuff!! lol Bottom line, I didn't drink. When I woke up yesterday morning, I felt so happy, energized and content. So 14 weeks and one day awesome AF days today. (Insert a 13 year old @Kevinfletcher giggle here.)
@RubyRed427 You are strong and awesome!
@donimfp Congratulations on following through!
@kevinfletcher You are kicking butt!
@ed_zilla Look at you go!
Why do men lose weight faster? It's not fair. And all of those chocolate bunnies I consumed have NOTHING to do with my weight loss stall!
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@MountainLaurel787 that’s amazing! A hard-won victory right there 🙌🏼☺️
9 months AF yesterday! This week has been weird and stressful and it was nice to have a shiny moment of clarity regarding how much BETTER life is now 💙14 -
Ok so this is weird...It's the techno-tard lorrainequiche59 aka @domesticlydiva. I have no idea how this happened. I went to come on MFP and it asked me to sign in (so annoying that it does this on a regular basis) AND somehow I am in on an old account. The reason I began a new account ages ago was because I couldn't get in on this account so......here I am & it doesn't make a hill of beans difference to me....I will lose my "streak" of 300 & something days, but I don't really give a hoo!! I just think this is odd....can anyone help me to understand what the heck I did? I could go to MFP support but find that kinda frustrating...6
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I'm BACK!!! LOL I went and signed in a different browser that I had difficulty signing in with in the past...I am TOTALLY confused btw...anyone else???
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my name is carolina, i´m from colombia and im on my 10th month AF hopping to complete the year, congratulations for everyone who is working to be a better person!11
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This all started because when I went to sign in, I couldn't remember my password and when I reset it, voila, my old account appeared...hmmmm??? Anyway, I could have looked in my password book IF I COULD LOCATE IT!! I put it in the "safe" place so I'd be able to find it after I moved and guess what...I do not remember where the "safe" place is...AND I cannot locate it.....I'll blame it on "moving brain" 6
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@MountainLaurel787 Great job! Way to resist and make the better choice! I am almost to 12 weeks and can’t wait. I have found that if I can resist, I feel so much better the next day.
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Congrats on all this great success here!!!!!
April 23rd, I said there is something good about this day?? what is it?? Today I remember that it was 15 mo. sober!! YES!!
whitpauly I am also a self sabotager one for now anyways. Working on that.
So hard lately. April and May what tough mos. without more problems. My strength must be getting built. Drinking beer in my dream the other night and rationalizing it that it didn't really count. SAY WHAT????? WOW, LOL!!!!!!! I was offered a sip and just kept the can. Oh my God. Sometimes going to AA when I am quite like this makes me want to drink. I better at least talk to my sponsor before I cave. Stress is very high lately. My client passed at work which means no regular work until a match comes along. That was sad about her passing. She had so many near misses before. I am filling in and happy to be able to do that, however, but a bunch of new clients. Another source of income dried up early, too. My daughter also says she has some type of autoimmune condition. Kind of young for that. We haven't been able to figure out those spots for awhile. Well as I say, it could always be worse. My sister will be here next week. Projects and fun. Getting the calendar out now and planning some time off. Need some real down time planned. Enough of these problems already. I need to plan a long range trip to FIJI, too.
Ruby you did well and Veggiegirl, too!!!!!!!!!!!
Many successes here!!!!!!!!!!!!! Many excellent milestones!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Up reading this thread at 5:30 on my mental health day. What's up with that? Well, I did fall asleep before 9:30 last night, so that's probably it. Last night was a real struggle alcohol-wise. Second Thursday evening in a row that's been an issue. I have no idea why that would be a pattern, but I guess it's wise to take note of it and observe in the future. Anyway, didn't drink and I'm glad of it this early morning. First thing I do when I'm really tempted is grab my phone and read everyone's posts, so thank you all for being such a great support system.
@Ed_Zilla, I neglected to congratulate you on reaching your goal weight. That is amazing! I'm sure you are celebrating feeling and looking your best.9 -
Oh, yeah . . . today is Day 28. That's 4 weeks. Four weeks ago tonight, I drank and couldn't sleep at all and had to drive 4 hours the next morning hungover and tired to take my granddaughter to a play (we have season tickets to a children's series in her city). Tomorrow is the final play of the season, but I feel like it will be a different me making the drive and attending the play tomorrow. It's encouraging that one month AF can make such a difference. Yay.13
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@MountainLaurel787 The Bro Code prevents me from telling you why men lose weight quicker, but suffice it to say, if you knew, you'd be AMAZED!!!
@LC0924 Congrats on 9 months! Awesome work!
@lorrainequiche59 Glad you're back. That domesticlydiva lady was a real piece of work... obviously nothing but trouble!
@salleewins 15 months! WOOOOOT! WOOOOOOT!!! (Calvin and Hobbes "Woot", not the apparently negative "woo" button that is available...)
@donimfp 28 days! 4 Weeks! 672 Hours! Good stuff any way you look at it! Keep it up!
Day 47 ~ Did I mention my friend that saw my Jim Beam bottle on the counter in a Facebook post, and called me out on it? He's been a daily support partner... got all up in my face, wondering what I was doing with the booze on my kitchen counter. Had to explain The Princess Bride, and "Good night Jim. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Who HASN'T watched The Princess Bride? I mean, really!!! So if I say, "I do not think that word means what you think it means." he will have no idea what the heck I'm talking about! Geez people! These are my movie references you're screwing up here! For the sake of expediency, and so I don't have to explain everything I say, here's a mandatory list of movies for EVERYONE (that includes you, Dear Reader) to watch:
1. The Princess Bride (duh!)
2. Blazing Saddles (15 is my limit on schnitzengruben!)
3. Stripes (Have that removed!)
4. Fletch (Don't tell me my job boy! I'm checking the luggage.)
5. Monty Python and The Holy Grail (I told him we already got one)
There. These 5 movies should keep you busy for a few weeks, memorizing all the lines. Then we can carry on in conversation, and you all won't be so confused. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter...11
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