We broke up because...
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she said my pup took better selfies then me0
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He wouldn't let me take his dog on walkies0
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He never wanted to take walks with me0
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She wouldn't wear the lead and it was sparkly and everything0
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was too into sparkly things0
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Her hot to my not ratio was way off
and she didn't answer my friend request.. or did she lol 0 -
he was too into sparkly things0
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She was old enough to be my mother!0
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I caught him spanking my hamster. You had no right!1
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He kept insisting I kiss his hamster's behind to make it better.0
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I caught her kissing hamster butt
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I couldn't figure out her fascination with Hamsters0
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She never petted my Hamster0
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He refused to accept that I referred to a joint of pork as a ham-ster. I like to have fun with words AND food - why can't you just live with that?!?!0
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She didn't like that I was a pig farmer.0
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He didn't like that I named all his pigs after the people on "The Office"0
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She was always pigging out when it was taco Tuesday. She didn't leave any taco's for me.0
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he had an irrational aversion to flatulence.0
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She would only sit on blankets - at the park, in the car, job interviews.... It became obsessive0
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She always fated in her sleep.0
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He always cuddled a plush horse in his sleep; he called it his "night mare"2
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She had night terrors about a horse, of course0
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I realized I was dating a woman 🤪0
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I wasn’t her type.0
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She found out I was her teacher in Middle school!0
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It turned out they were my teacher!0
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He wouldn't wear the outfits I bought him.. geezus they're just see thru chaps
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She was buying everyone see through chaps!
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She wouldn't wear them for me0
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