Things people say when you lose weight

I’ve had a couple of people notice my modest weight loss (17 pounds) and their comments have been welcome and not at all offensive to me. One person said “you’ve lost weight, haven’t you?” When I said yes, she said “was it intentional?” When I said yes, she said “good for you.” Another said “I can tell you’ve dropped a few pounds and you look great.” Others have not mentioned my weight loss but have just said something along the lines of “you look great.”

My (now Ex) husband when he looked at the scale one morning when I was weighing in: Boy, you're a lot heavier than you look

99% positive response and that I was an inspiration to them. When I told one person that I had dropped over 60 lbs so far, they acted like they didn't believe me. Or another just said, I see it in your face the most. That is until I showed them my before and after shirtless photo. Then they could see what I was hiding under all those baggy clothes.

jlp1994 wrote: »

My (now Ex) husband when he looked at the scale one morning when I was weighing in: Boy, you're a lot heavier than you look

My ex— I tried to help you lose weight. I told you that you were getting fatter than a town dog!

The good :

• "Hey, you look nice(/er)!"
• "Are you working out?"
• Asking diet or exercise tips.

The bad (mostly annoying):

• You look too skinny! (While I was still overweight)
• You should stop now, you're gonna look sick!
• You look good now, you should stop working out so often!
• That cookie isn't gonna kill you, eat!

The 'bad' is mostly annoying to me because I don't like people telling me what to do, and I certainly don't appreciate people telling me about how my body should look. I should have the right to decide when to 'stop' if I want too.
The best part about the whole journey is probably when you inspire your friends/family to change as well!

My wife and I have been working really hard. She's not only losing, but getting pretty ripped. Visited the inlaws last week and my mil tells her she looks good, but now her boobs are too small. And we wonder where these insecurities come from.

eryn0x wrote: »

mtaratoot wrote: »

Sorry if this comes across as overly-judgemental, but you shouldn't be starving yourself! It is hard work to be vigilant, but starvation ain't healthy.

[/soapbox]

I don't know if this was meant as a reply to me... I agree it's not healthy to starve yourself, which is why I said that people's comments can be toxic. We shouldn't congratulate the symptoms without caring to understand the cause.

Yeah, I think my post a month ago was a response to you commenting on getting positive reinforcement when you were starving yourself. We both agree that starvation ain't healthy, so that's good. Don't do it. Then maybe you can feel like the positive comments are just that -- positive for your healthy lifestyle choices and the results that come from them.

I do hope you weren't offended by my reply. Maybe I misunderstood what you wrote. From what I ready, you were getting positive reinforcement for an unhealthy behavior. I suggested to stop the unhealthy behavior. I'll stand by that. I think people, me included, have a weakness that we feel people are judging us, and maybe they are thinking we're doing something wrong. In reality, people aren't thinking about us much at all -- if we knew how LITTLE people thought of us, we'd be happier. I'll still offer up that for those of us on a weight management and fitness journey can do ourselves a favor and consider that many comments we get are from a positive space, even if the person making the comment isn't very good at it.

Please accept my apologies if my words were taken in a way they were not intended. And may you have success in your journey!

New one from my in-laws, who recently visited from two states away. Last time they were here was in November, for our wedding vow renewal. I'd had to make a new dress for the occasion, because my dress from 10 years ago was now too big for me. That's good news in itself. Well, hubby and I have both lost even more weight since November. As my in-laws were ending this most recent visit, FIL turned to me and said, "Next time we come, we expect to see even less of you."

He meant it well. It was a jokey way of saying, "Good job."

This week I've run into two old friends for the first time since maybe 2015-2016 (I hit my goal in 2014) and both of them made the same comment - basically "Whoa, you look great...I can't believe you've kept the weight off". Both are guys and I know they were not trying to be rude, so I took it as a compliment instead of being offended by their choice of comments.

ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »

Nothing. Not a peep, good or bad after losing 35-40 pounds. I'm pretty sure there was a noticeable difference between my weight of 185 and my weight of 145!

well im sure you look awesome!

ive never really had anyone make comment either, from 103lbs to 224lbs then back down to now 146ish whatever though haha, i know i look different!

I recognise a lot of these comments - particularly the ones about “ooh, don’t get too thin” (I am currently right at the top of “normal weight” BMI within a whisper of “overweight” - I’ll start worrying about “being too thin” when my trousers are falling down, NOT while I can’t pull them up and over my thighs!!)

However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?

shunggie wrote: »

I visit different offices within my company every 2 or 3 months. In a meeting last week a lady that I see a little more often because she travels too said, "I can tell you've been working hard, you look great." She didn't ask how much weight, (like my hairdresser did last week) or anything about diet, just that she could tell I'd been working on it and that I looked great. I wanted to hug her. I was training a small class and it could have taken over the conversation. It was perfect. They're not all rude, I think most people don't know what to say and think they're being nice or projecting their own issues on you.

That's a really great way to put it. It leaves a much better impact to compliment someone's effort rather than just the result.

I've gotten two comments about "holy cow, you don't need to lose 30 more" from my coworker and my parents (who are the only people I talk about my weight loss with). Fortunately, both were very open and reasonable when I explained to them that it would put me in the middle of a healthy bmi, and that I just seem quite thin now because they are used to seeing me as overweight (as I have been overweight pretty much all my life). I also explained that I can seem especially thin because my skin will be looser, leading to a more frail appearance at first, but that it fades with continued maintenance. After that, they both seemed much more comfortable with my goal.