Things people say when you lose weight
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I've gotten mostly positive comments from friends and co-workers ("You look so good!" "What are you doing?" "Good for you - you're working hard and it shows.") and I'm super grateful for it. It's really helped motivate me a lot But, I had one recently that threw me a bit...
I was having a few drinks with some friends and was talking to this guy who about 5 months (and 40+ pounds) ago had led me on and then turned me down for a girl much more attractive than me, but he gave me bogus excuses. The conversation went something like this...
Him: "Man, I'm already 195lb - better be careful that I don't drink one too many drinks and push over that 200lb mark!"
Me (who blurts everything when drunk...): "Dang, I used to outweigh you!"
Him: "Holy smokes, really? I noticed you've lost weight - how much have you dropped??"
Me: "Like 45 pounds now, so I'm around 150."
Him: "Daaaaaam girl, you're looking good! I bet you get all the guys now."
And we just stared awkwardly at each other and I kinda laughed it off and mumbled something, but I think we both fully comprehended what he had admitted. Makes me really glad I didn't date him, but really bud, we had to go there?26 -
Thank God I haven't come up against this one in years... it was from an abusive ex-boyfriend. Ex, for obvious reasons. Anyway, after I had lost about 30 pounds, his only response was a growling, "I don't want to hear it. You're still overweight." The kicker is, I actually wasn't. I was on the high end of normal, but he considered me "fat" because I didn't look like the photos in certain types of magazines. How many women in the real world actually do?
Unfortunately, there are members of my own family I would get the same response from. Not, "Look how much you've lost," but more like, "Look how much weight you still have left to lose." Or, "The weight loss is nice and all, but here's some other thing you're doing wrong. I'm not going to focus on what you're doing well. I'm only going to talk about where you're screwing up."
I have to stay away from those people too.33 -
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Okay how about "Girl you're really looking good . . . I know you're going to get a man now." Really?!!! You can't do anything but laugh. The other comment that gets on my nerves is "he/she has lost a lot of weight . . . he/she probably had the surgery. Hey, I'm not knocking weight loss surgery, but people can and do lose weight without it. smh12
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My husband told me this morning he’s going to get me a scale to hang around my neck like bling for when we go out.
I started thinking, and that might be my moneymaker, lol.9 -
GrizzledSquirrel wrote: »
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?
My stance is that saying nothing is often the best course. The only time I’d comment on someone’s body/size is if they had been making a lot of noise about dieting/trying to lose weight. You just don’t know someone’s circumstances (maybe they’re sick or going through a hard time) or their history with eating disorders.
I haven’t told anyone I’m trying to lose weight (down about 10lbs). It’s awkward when people make comments about my body. When they do, I just blow them off & say they are mistaken12 -
Dealing with comments is just path of the course. Most comments are nice, but on occasion some family have told me I look disgusting, or I’ll.
The thing is, if someone knows you as being fat, they’re not used to you having cheekbones and a jawline.
Mostly these people are just shocked. You’ve got to know your own goal, and not let any comments put you off.14 -
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fitpal4242 wrote: »GrizzledSquirrel wrote: »
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?
My stance is that saying nothing is often the best course. The only time I’d comment on someone’s body/size is if they had been making a lot of noise about dieting/trying to lose weight. You just don’t know someone’s circumstances (maybe they’re sick or going through a hard time) or their history with eating disorders.
I haven’t told anyone I’m trying to lose weight (down about 10lbs). It’s awkward when people make comments about my body. When they do, I just blow them off & say they are mistaken
I have lost 40 lbs. Telling them they are mistaken is going to land one of us in the psych ward. I smile, maybe say thank you, then clam up when they want to make a conversation of it.3 -
I tend to go with "you look good--whatever you are doing is working for you."4
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I only have one friend who's commented. He told me I looked too thin. And he's right actually... I'm at that stage where parts of you look gaunt while you're trying to get the last 10 off in that problem area. He understood that totally once I explained it.10
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I train at a martial arts gym, so it's with the same people all the time and very much a community. I get asked there a lot how much weight I've lost, and when I tell them they congratulate me and then enthusiastically remind me how fat and out of shape I was when I first started 😂. Heck today the instructor just decided to send my "before" pic to the group class.
But I know they mean well and are doing it because they are inspired about the progress I made. The instructor uses me as an example to new students a lot about how it doesn't matter where you start, as long as you put in time and work hard, you can accomplish a lot. So I take it all as postive and encouraging, even if it sometimes lacks tact.43 -
I am losing weight by eating right-size servings of healthy foods. It's working. But everyone seems intent on telling me what I should be doing. For example, "You've got to be eating steel cut oats, not that other kind." "Go on a vegan diet. Trust me, just do it for a month and you will be sold." "You've got to eat lots of nuts and avocado. Those are good fats. Eat as much of those as you want. They make you feel fuller." Ok, I've just lost 45 pounds. What I a doing is working, so please leave me alone.45
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Friend: You lost weight!
Me: Yeah, a bit.
Friend: No, a LOT!
Me: (silence). Hey, have you heard the news about <random topic>?
So far it has worked.
I know that most people mean well, but please, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, I'm well aware that I lost weight? And that pointing out that I lost "a lot" isn't exactly the best compliment? Especially because it's never followed by an actual compliment, like "good for you" or "well done". Just sayin'...
Not that I expect or even need compliments, but it would be nice if those conversations didn't carry a criticizing undertone regarding my overweight past.9 -
I've been asked what protein shakes are you using? Thinking I have shakes 3 times a day and eat NO foods🙄9
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Losingweightforgood2019 wrote: »I've been asked what protein shakes are you using? Thinking I have shakes 3 times a day and eat NO foods🙄
I've had stuff like that too. Either they assume shakes or they assume keto, low carb, etc.
I was in a store that is 4 miles from my house - I walked there with my husband so we could both get a donut and I saw this lady I've known for years and she was flipping out about me eating a donut. She knew we had walked there (no car outside, appropriate footwear) and she kept saying "OMG but that will undo your exercise". Lady, I am still average sized after losing weight and I'm also not that fit. The idea that I am eating so strictly that I'll never have a donut is hilarious to me.27 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I was in a store that is 4 miles from my house - I walked there with my husband so we could both get a donut and I saw this lady I've known for years and she was flipping out about me eating a donut. She knew we had walked there (no car outside, appropriate footwear) and she kept saying "OMG but that will undo your exercise". Lady, I am still average sized after losing weight and I'm also not that fit. The idea that I am eating so strictly that I'll never have a donut is hilarious to me.
My response would have been "No, the exercise will undo the donut. That's why we WALKED here."13 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Losingweightforgood2019 wrote: »I've been asked what protein shakes are you using? Thinking I have shakes 3 times a day and eat NO foods🙄
I've had stuff like that too. Either they assume shakes or they assume keto, low carb, etc.
I was in a store that is 4 miles from my house - I walked there with my husband so we could both get a donut and I saw this lady I've known for years and she was flipping out about me eating a donut. She knew we had walked there (no car outside, appropriate footwear) and she kept saying "OMG but that will undo your exercise". Lady, I am still average sized after losing weight and I'm also not that fit. The idea that I am eating so strictly that I'll never have a donut is hilarious to me.
If only they were so obsessive about their own diets.9 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Losingweightforgood2019 wrote: »I've been asked what protein shakes are you using? Thinking I have shakes 3 times a day and eat NO foods🙄
I've had stuff like that too. Either they assume shakes or they assume keto, low carb, etc.
I was in a store that is 4 miles from my house - I walked there with my husband so we could both get a donut and I saw this lady I've known for years and she was flipping out about me eating a donut. She knew we had walked there (no car outside, appropriate footwear) and she kept saying "OMG but that will undo your exercise". Lady, I am still average sized after losing weight and I'm also not that fit. The idea that I am eating so strictly that I'll never have a donut is hilarious to me.
If only they were so obsessive about their own diets.
I do remember being much more interested in what people were eating when I wasn't focused on my own diet. It's like a weird sort of fascination, almost like a "what do the other people eat, do they eat like me?". I think it was kind of a way of me trying to convince myself that my eating habits were normal (they were not) by picking out similarities. It was an insecurity activity. I realized that I rarely pay attention to what other people are eating now that I'm focused on my own diet. I only know what my next-cube neighbor eats because she gets Jet's pizza a lot and it smells so good, lol.12 -
This just happened to me today.. I lost 43 lbs over the past 7 months and am just now in the middle of a healthy BMI. I ran into a co-worker that I hadn't seen for 3 months.
Him: "You look like you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Thanks! I have!"
Him: "I didn't mean it like it was a good thing." *Walks Away*
Uh.. wow! I look amazing. I think my jaw dropped, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Whatever..50 -
This just happened to me today.. I lost 43 lbs over the past 7 months and am just now in the middle of a healthy BMI. I ran into a co-worker that I hadn't seen for 3 months.
Him: "You look like you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Thanks! I have!"
Him: "I didn't mean it like it was a good thing." *Walks Away*
Uh.. wow! I look amazing. I think my jaw dropped, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Whatever..
In hindsight: "I didn't do it to impress you" would've been a great dunk on him.31 -
This just happened to me today.. I lost 43 lbs over the past 7 months and am just now in the middle of a healthy BMI. I ran into a co-worker that I hadn't seen for 3 months.
Him: "You look like you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Thanks! I have!"
Him: "I didn't mean it like it was a good thing." *Walks Away*
Uh.. wow! I look amazing. I think my jaw dropped, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Whatever..
In hindsight: "I didn't do it to impress you" would've been a great dunk on him.
Definitely!! I'll have to remember that for next time - although hopefully there isn't a next time LOL9 -
I get a lot of great compliments but some bad ones. The worst being: “are you sick”. People!5
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This just happened to me today.. I lost 43 lbs over the past 7 months and am just now in the middle of a healthy BMI. I ran into a co-worker that I hadn't seen for 3 months.
Him: "You look like you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Thanks! I have!"
Him: "I didn't mean it like it was a good thing." *Walks Away*
Uh.. wow! I look amazing. I think my jaw dropped, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Whatever..
In hindsight: "I didn't do it to impress you" would've been a great dunk on him.
Definitely!! I'll have to remember that for next time - although hopefully there isn't a next time LOL
If there is a next time time, ask him to repeat what he said because you would not want to misquote him when you report it to HR. You should not have to put up with that kind of crap at work!16 -
RelCanonical wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »Losingweightforgood2019 wrote: »I've been asked what protein shakes are you using? Thinking I have shakes 3 times a day and eat NO foods🙄
I've had stuff like that too. Either they assume shakes or they assume keto, low carb, etc.
I was in a store that is 4 miles from my house - I walked there with my husband so we could both get a donut and I saw this lady I've known for years and she was flipping out about me eating a donut. She knew we had walked there (no car outside, appropriate footwear) and she kept saying "OMG but that will undo your exercise". Lady, I am still average sized after losing weight and I'm also not that fit. The idea that I am eating so strictly that I'll never have a donut is hilarious to me.
If only they were so obsessive about their own diets.
I do remember being much more interested in what people were eating when I wasn't focused on my own diet. It's like a weird sort of fascination, almost like a "what do the other people eat, do they eat like me?". I think it was kind of a way of me trying to convince myself that my eating habits were normal (they were not) by picking out similarities. It was an insecurity activity. I realized that I rarely pay attention to what other people are eating now that I'm focused on my own diet. I only know what my next-cube neighbor eats because she gets Jet's pizza a lot and it smells so good, lol.
I think everyone is like that to a certain extent.. "What are they eating to succeed while I'm struggling"?
But when you have to make remarks about anything someone else is eating, that's crossing a line.
6 -
This just happened to me today.. I lost 43 lbs over the past 7 months and am just now in the middle of a healthy BMI. I ran into a co-worker that I hadn't seen for 3 months.
Him: "You look like you've lost a lot of weight!"
Me: "Thanks! I have!"
Him: "I didn't mean it like it was a good thing." *Walks Away*
Uh.. wow! I look amazing. I think my jaw dropped, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Whatever..
My jaw dropped just reading that. WOW. That was rude.8 -
"You've lost weight! Good. The last time I saw you, you were this wide;" [holds hands about five feet apart.]
I always get something similar when people who usually see me in my glasses, run into me while I'm wearing my contacts." Oh you look great. Those glasses were awful, they were so thick!"
I'm always going to have to wear my glasses part of the time and I'll always probably yo-yo my weight so be careful what you say folks!15 -
Slowfaster wrote: »"You've lost weight! Good. The last time I saw you, you were this wide;" [holds hands about five feet apart.]
I always get something similar when people who usually see me in my glasses, run into me while I'm wearing my contacts." Oh you look great. Those glasses were awful, they were so thick!"
I'm always going to have to wear my glasses part of the time and I'll always probably yo-yo my weight so be careful what you say folks!
Dang people are RUDE!!
I get comments on my hair like that. I go back & forth in length and here's what I get...
Pixie-short: Oh thank goodness - back to short - you looked like a cavewoman with the long hair.
Shoulder length or longer: Wow your hair looks great, it makes you look much prettier and younger. Never cut it short again ok?
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