Things people say when you lose weight
Replies
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AmethystEFC wrote: »
Why are people so darn intrusive?
Also, has anyone else experienced people assuming that because you're overweight, you are stupid?
The store lady sounds absolutely awful
It's inappropriate of her, and I would likely avoid shopping there too, at least when she's working. I don't know if you feel confident & comfortable enough to say something to her about how you prefer to keep your efforts towards taking care of your health a private matter?
And oh yes about being treated like an idiot. I studied public health & nutrition in grad school, and everyone from my doctor to my father-in-law tries to tell me "well if I just learned more about what I'm shoving in my face, I would not eat it". These people don't understand how knowledge and being in the right head space to take care of yourself are very different things.27 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »My partner is just concerned about me losing my bum. lol. I'd actually like to lose a bit more of it, he disagrees. People also tend to act concerned whenever I lose weight, and ask me "how much more?" Apart from a small period in my early-20's, (25 years ago) I have never been underweight & my aim is to lose just a couple more kilo, which still puts me in the healthy BMI range.
Well, it's your body, so...
If he doesn't approve of your smaller bum, maybe lose him along with those last few pounds?
I think that's just his way of telling me he loves me just the way I am. I'm with him, I dont want to lose my curves completely; he just needed reassurance that I'm not going to go too far the other way.16 -
MySlimGoals wrote: »Last time I lost a lot of weight I would somehow manage to attract people who would give me bad diet advice. Including from one lady who kept trying to get me to try her carrot diet. Yep, carrots. Carrots for every meal and only carrots. Apparently it makes you slim, cures cancer, cures diabetes and you pop out babies like nobody's business (she was looking at me because I don't have children and I'm single). lol. Didn't take her advice.
Whew. Good thing you dodged that one otherwise you'd certainly have a litter or two by now.
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AmethystEFC wrote: »I'm getting a little annoyed with a lady from my grocery store.
Not only is she attention seekingly loud about how I'm looking, how much I might have lost and what I'm wearing, she also has started with the advice.
For example, telling me how to cook vegetables. Not a particular method, just how, full stop; as if I wouldn't know. Today's lesson was how to cook mashed potatoes and I get a full critique of everything in my basket on whether I should be eating it or not. Not to mention the continuous pushing towards various diet schemes.
This would be exhausting from a friend but this is a complete stranger who works on the till. It's making me want to shop elsewhere, despite the convenience.
Why are people so darn intrusive?
Also, has anyone else experienced people assuming that because you're overweight, you are stupid?
This kind of crap is why I started using the self check out line.14 -
I had one last night that was a little awkward. A guy I know sheepishly asked something like, "Have you lost weight, or have I just not seen you in summer attire lately?" I was wearing a pair of shorts and a thin hoodie. I told him, yes, I've lost weight. He struggled to find the words to ask if it was from dieting, if it was intentional. He was able to ask as politely as he could, and I affirmed yes. I did it. He said I looked good. I wasn't offended. Frankly, I think it was more awkward for HIM that for me. He looks like he's been gaining weight. I made no comment. In an ideal world, maybe he'll be inspired and start his own journey and then come on here and complain about what people say when he lost weight
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AmethystEFC wrote: »I'm getting a little annoyed with a lady from my grocery store.
Not only is she attention seekingly loud about how I'm looking, how much I might have lost and what I'm wearing, she also has started with the advice.
For example, telling me how to cook vegetables. Not a particular method, just how, full stop; as if I wouldn't know. Today's lesson was how to cook mashed potatoes and I get a full critique of everything in my basket on whether I should be eating it or not. Not to mention the continuous pushing towards various diet schemes.
This would be exhausting from a friend but this is a complete stranger who works on the till. It's making me want to shop elsewhere, despite the convenience.
Why are people so darn intrusive?
Also, has anyone else experienced people assuming that because you're overweight, you are stupid?
This kind of crap is why I started using the self check out line.
I agree. There's a lady who works at a store we frequent who started commenting on mine and my husband's weight loss years ago and she still makes comments. It's never rude like the cashier above, but it still makes me feel weird! I wish she would stop. I actually find myself avoiding that particular store because I don't want her commentary. I used to feel a bit hopeful that she would try MFP or something similar because she went on & on about how she wanted to lose weight, but now it's just become annoying. I mean it's been going on like 6 years. I also (at times) feel a little anxious about walking up to her, even though I've never varied by more than a few pounds I feel strangely afraid she's going to say "hmm looks like you're starting to gain a few". I don't need that stress when I'm shopping in a store!
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I have a different point of view about store clerks and other people who have "captured" me in unwanted personal conversation. They don't do this to everybody.
When this happens to me, usually I've done something to make them think it's okay -- I've been too nice and listened too long, so they think it's okay because I allowed it to go on, at least at first.
The art of saying NO and ending things in a polite, short manner is a life survival skill. Not apologizing, not suffering in silence, just moving on and setting boundaries without burning people to the ground.28 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »AmethystEFC wrote: »I'm getting a little annoyed with a lady from my grocery store.
Not only is she attention seekingly loud about how I'm looking, how much I might have lost and what I'm wearing, she also has started with the advice.
For example, telling me how to cook vegetables. Not a particular method, just how, full stop; as if I wouldn't know. Today's lesson was how to cook mashed potatoes and I get a full critique of everything in my basket on whether I should be eating it or not. Not to mention the continuous pushing towards various diet schemes.
This would be exhausting from a friend but this is a complete stranger who works on the till. It's making me want to shop elsewhere, despite the convenience.
Why are people so darn intrusive?
Also, has anyone else experienced people assuming that because you're overweight, you are stupid?
This kind of crap is why I started using the self check out line.
I agree. There's a lady who works at a store we frequent who started commenting on mine and my husband's weight loss years ago and she still makes comments. It's never rude like the cashier above, but it still makes me feel weird! I wish she would stop. I actually find myself avoiding that particular store because I don't want her commentary. I used to feel a bit hopeful that she would try MFP or something similar because she went on & on about how she wanted to lose weight, but now it's just become annoying. I mean it's been going on like 6 years. I also (at times) feel a little anxious about walking up to her, even though I've never varied by more than a few pounds I feel strangely afraid she's going to say "hmm looks like you're starting to gain a few". I don't need that stress when I'm shopping in a store!
I haven't had anyone get too interested in my weight yet, but there is more than one cashier who overshares. "No, I really don't care that your brother in law's ex girlfriend cheated on him. Please bag my pot pie."10 -
I have a different point of view about store clerks and other people who have "captured" me in unwanted personal conversation. They don't do this to everybody.
When this happens to me, usually I've done something to make them think it's okay -- I've been too nice and listened too long, so they think it's okay because I allowed it to go on, at least at first.
The art of saying NO and ending things in a polite, short manner is a life survival skill. Not apologizing, not suffering in silence, just moving on and setting boundaries without burning people to the ground.
True. I'm still not good at it.6 -
I have a different point of view about store clerks and other people who have "captured" me in unwanted personal conversation. They don't do this to everybody.
When this happens to me, usually I've done something to make them think it's okay -- I've been too nice and listened too long, so they think it's okay because I allowed it to go on, at least at first.
The art of saying NO and ending things in a polite, short manner is a life survival skill. Not apologizing, not suffering in silence, just moving on and setting boundaries without burning people to the ground.
True. I'm still not good at it.
I'm not that good at it, either, but working on it.
I'm female. I grew up feeling I have to be nice to everybody, and always be polite (whatever that means). I think this is the way a lot of women grew up.
Other people can offend the crap out of me, but I'm reluctant to speak up and stop it because "I don't want to be rude" or "I don't want to cause a scene." Then I'll be mad for hours.
Nonsense. Drawing the line with people is a social skill. It's a skill just like other skills. There's nothing wrong with saying some variation of "I'm not discussing my weight, that's personal, but I appreciate your concern. Have a nice day." Then you're done with it.18 -
My partner is just concerned about me losing my bum. lol. I'd actually like to lose a bit more of it, he disagrees. People also tend to act concerned whenever I lose weight, and ask me "how much more?" Apart from a small period in my early-20's, (25 years ago) I have never been underweight & my aim is to lose just a couple more kilo, which still puts me in the healthy BMI range.
In the 4-hour body (a book) the author asserts that kettlebell squats will give you a nice muscular bum, meaning a bum that doesn't go flat when you lose weight.4 -
MySlimGoals wrote: »Last time I lost a lot of weight I would somehow manage to attract people who would give me bad diet advice. Including from one lady who kept trying to get me to try her carrot diet. Yep, carrots. Carrots for every meal and only carrots. Apparently it makes you slim, cures cancer, cures diabetes and you pop out babies like nobody's business (she was looking at me because I don't have children and I'm single). lol. Didn't take her advice.
Whew. Good thing you dodged that one otherwise you'd certainly have a litter or two by now.
Makes you pop out babies....I hesitate to ask her for a picture of what she means by 'carrot'.15 -
I lost about 25 pounds a few years back and was asked if I was really sick and dying!!! I mean really! I have a two year old now and gained back that weight so hoping to work my way back down!8
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I was at an event where I saw lots of old friends that span the last 20 years. No one had ever seen me this small. I got a lot of really nice compliments. It was a little awkward trying not to garner too much attention (when I said event, it was a memorial service).
But of course there is always the one sore thumb. I was giving an old friend a hug good bye and mentioned we should have lunch and catch up, her response “yes, and you’ll eat a wedge of lettuce because you think you’re better then me”
Ouch. Oh now I remember why we stopped being close. My choices are not a competition with other people.35 -
"Hi, I don't think we've met? I'm Tom."
"Hi, I'm Sarah. You worked with me for four years."39 -
I was at an event where I saw lots of old friends that span the last 20 years. No one had ever seen me this small. I got a lot of really nice compliments. It was a little awkward trying not to garner too much attention (when I said event, it was a memorial service).
But of course there is always the one sore thumb. I was giving an old friend a hug good bye and mentioned we should have lunch and catch up, her response “yes, and you’ll eat a wedge of lettuce because you think you’re better then me”
Ouch. Oh now I remember why we stopped being close. My choices are not a competition with other people.
What a bitter person! Wow, I would steer clear of her.12 -
"Hi, I don't think we've met? I'm Tom."
"Hi, I'm Sarah. You worked with me for four years."
You must have lost heaps of weight - it's amazing he didn't recognise you.
I had a somewhat similar experience with recognising a lady I work with but not to do with weight. She usually turns up to work in rather frumpy clothes and no makeup and always her hair tied back and glasses. Our workgroup arranged to go out to dinner one day and met in the weekend for it. She turned up with a hell of a lot of makeup on, no glasses and her hair straightened and out as well as a mini skirt, heels and a leather jacket. I assumed for the first half-hour she was one of my male colleague's partners! Then she started talking about work and I clicked and was blown away at how she had transformed.11 -
martianspuds wrote: »AmethystEFC wrote: »
And oh yes about being treated like an idiot. I studied public health & nutrition in grad school, and everyone from my doctor to my father-in-law tries to tell me "well if I just learned more about what I'm shoving in my face, I would not eat it". These people don't understand how knowledge and being in the right head space to take care of yourself are very different things.
I lost 125 pounds in a healthy way about 18 years ago. I exercised and ate right. Then I lost my Grandma and Mom within two years of each other. There was a lot of caregiving and hospital time and all that healthy lifestyle knowledge was secondary to my mental state of not going crazy. I didn't forget how to be healthy I just didn't care for a while. When I started this journey back up last year a friend who had not known me during the earlier weight loss couldn't understand why I hadn't been doing that since I knew how and understood the benefits. It was all headspace issues.
And for the nosey clerk, I would tell her to kitty right off and speak to her manager. That's ridiculous.3 -
Congratulations!!! Out of the blue, at funerals, at galas randomly in conversation. We aren't talking about weight loss, so the congratulations always throws me off a bit.
That is the weirdest one, especially bc of have maintained my weight loss for 6 years.5
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