Things people say when you lose weight
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I ran into an old friend recently who must have lost 100 lbs since the last time I saw her. I was thinking about this thread so hard thinking, "What should I say?? Should I bring it up? Not bring it up?" I didn't want to offend her bringing up her weight or disappoint her by not bringing it up.
I went with - "You look great!"26 -
I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"
I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."
Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.
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SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"
I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."
Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.
It sounds like "You had a pretty face before, and that hasn't changed: you still have a pretty face" to me.15 -
The weirdest one I get is "wait you weigh how much? HOW?!" as their idea of an arbitrary "fat" number must mean someone should look like a character from Wall-E if they're overweight. People now tell me I look great and shouldn't lose any more, when I'm still in the 'overweight' BMI category and could lose another 30lbs and still be in the "normal" range.10
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I moved and basically have only talked to a couple of people who knew me 100 lbs ago, so I don't really get the comments except for the ex who always manages to tell me how great I look.
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SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"
I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."
Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.
Wait... when she knew you back years ago were you fat then? I agree with it being a passive aggressive comment unless 'years' was pre-weight gain.3 -
SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »
I have let people know that I work with once there were questions about why I weigh my food or if I was eating enough. It's not like I don't eat lol. I eat between 1800 and 2000 calories a day.
And I'm not trying to hide the fact, it's just that it hasn't come up in conversation with some people. Like the fact that I am 54.8 -
Funny ones:
Cousin in law: You've lost weight. How did you do that?
Me: I ate less.
C.I.L.: It's all your rowing, isn't it? It's your rowing!
Me: I've been rowing for over a decade, the same amount I am now. (in my head: ". . . and you know that.")
Old college roommate I hadn't seen in 30 years: Well, you've managed to stay slim!
Me: LOL + showed her before & afters.
Rowing friend I hadn't seen in a few months: Ann, so nice to see you . . . and I think I'm seeing less of you?
Random friend: It's impossible to lose weight without cutting carbs.
Me: I lost about 50 pounds, eating plenty of carbs.
Friend: I read all the books over the Winter, and they all said you have to cut out carbs!
I was more troubled by a usually-sensible friend who got worried that I was anorexic, toward the end of weight loss. I think I did look a little gaunt or haggard for a while, until my skin and such kind of caught up a few months later. But she was all fussed, although I was eating like 2000 calories a day by then, and told her so. It can be shocking to people who are used to seeing us fat.
For a while, some of my friends were doing the "skin and bones!" "don't lose more!" kind of thing, which just made me eye-roll. I didn't feel particularly offended or wounded (my ego strength/confidence is, if anything, too strong
).
I had a few awkward exchanges because people know I'm a stage III (advanced) breast cancer survivor, so they weren't sure whether I was thinner and OK, or not OK. Again, didn't bother me, and I was happy to reassure them.
Now that I've been in maintenance for a few years, comments have pretty much stopped, other than the occasional "of course you can eat anything you want" sort of thing. Yeah? No.
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Also funny the things people don’t say. I prefer people to say nothing, but a few do and it’s okay. But very interestingly, the three who have nagged me for years about health and weight loss, have said not a thing now that I’m down so noticeably much. I’m glad Because I don’t want to talk to them about it, but I’m a tad curious to what they are thinking.10
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healingnurtrer wrote: »I ran into an old friend recently who must have lost 100 lbs since the last time I saw her. I was thinking about this thread so hard thinking, "What should I say?? Should I bring it up? Not bring it up?" I didn't want to offend her bringing up her weight or disappoint her by not bringing it up.
I went with - "You look great!"
The most common euphamism I use for - 'wow you've lost weight' - is 'Wow, you're looking really well' Personally I like to cut my friends a break - it is so hard to know what to do; some of us get upset if no-one notices, others feel people are being shallow or too personal for commenting on our appearance, and others read it as telling us we looked awful before (tbh - I did and I knew it) I just try and accept comments in a positive light - although I would be short with anyone who expressed the hope that I didn't put it all back on (as if I would wish to) and anyone who tells me I look old, haggard or too thin - I'm 64, deal with it.23 -
MarcyMavin wrote: »But very interestingly, the three who have nagged me for years about health and weight loss, have said not a thing now that I’m down so noticeably much
The same thing happened to me. They said nothing, so I showed before and after pics. They still said nothing. After months of waiting, one called me and one of the first questions they asked was, "did you gain your weight back?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣23 -
now that I've reached ~45 lbs lost I've been getting weight loss comments. some have been nice/encouraging, along the lines of "you're looking great!" or "way to kick butt!"
the only type that's been annoying is friends that have said, "you're so skinny/thin now!" this bothers me a bit because I'm not skinny or thin currently--my BMI is still over 30 and my waist is ~39 inches--and it implies (or at least I infer) that I'm at a healthy weight. however, I think what they mean is skinnier/thinner than before.
definitely not the worst thing to hear, but I'm trying to push back a little on the verbiage.
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Favorites
1.6th grade student commented when I was telling a colleague I still need to lose my belly, "What belly!? You look great! Will you marry me?"
2. Sister who rarely doles out compliments but doesn't do put downs told my mom with beaming pride of her lil sis in front of me, "Doesn't Elaine look sexy?!"
3. Random grocery teenager worker called out as I walked to my car in the parking lot, "I like your shape!"
4. Colleague, "Wow, you're shrinking! What's your secret?" She genuinely wanted to know stopping to lean in and listen.
5. Other students, "You look young like twenties/thirties!" I'm 44.
6. Random stranger whispering to her friend, "I want a stomach like that!" Looking at my abs longingly and points it out to her friend.
Least favorite:
1. My brother sent me a box of cookies from Brown Butter company. When I asked for what reason, to sabotage my weightloss journey? He said, "Your welcome!" with a devilish smile. He often taunts and teases me alot as my older brother but this was the first time he did an action rather than poking fun.
2. Asian American BMI chart labeling me "Overweight" at 22.6 bmi.18 -
I went to a meeting with my boss, one of the guys we were meeting stood up to greet us, shook my hand and said where is it? I wasn’t expecting to give him anything and looked puzzled, so he said the other half of you.
We had a family function, my husbands nephew arrived at the same time, as we got out of the car he went up to my daughter, gave her a hug and called her by my name, then looked over at me and asked my daughter who I was, my daughter was not very pleased 😀18 -
Least favorite, “So, what did you do? Just not eat?”12
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My favorite, your a little too skinny, She needs a burger... I just want to take you out to eat and feed you!
At my best, I was borderline overweight and healthy weight!
Jeez I got grief for my profile pic a few times and told I might have an eating disorder.
Lol! That was me three years ago at my personal best. Doing karate running alot doing mostley keto. Eating plates of pancakes on weekends cause I love pancakes.
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My favorite comment years ago and it has been etched into my memory. “You are not bigger than a minute.” Looking forward to hearing that again someday.10
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My husband’s coworker told me I look amazing and she told my husband he needs to change the pictures he has of me on his desk if this is what I look like now, lol.28
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I have to give a shout out to the people I affectionately refer to as my 'aqua ladies'.
Most of my classes are water based and I genuinely have not come across a nicer, more lovely group of women. They are happy for me and what I'm doing, and they take notice of my achievements. It's like having my own little (not so little - 50 ish ladies!) cheering squad.
They make me walk taller, work harder and take note of what I'm achieving. I know I'm too hard on myself but they make me look and see what I'm accomplishing.
So some people are just fabulous. I lucked upon my aqua ladies and I wish for you guys to find someone like them to cheer you on.41 -
I had one this week that kind of irritated me. A female colleague of mine who is very thin told me i was looking good and another female colleague came up and agreed. First female colleague says to the second "I know right? what a great figure she was hiding under there"
I just thought it was a pretty rude thing to say. i know that she was saying it as a compliment but i have a hard time with people making comments like that. My body wasn't hiding, i'm not hiding i'm just living in a healthier place right now. so frustrating24 -
I had one this week that kind of irritated me. A female colleague of mine who is very thin told me i was looking good and another female colleague came up and agreed. First female colleague says to the second "I know right? what a great figure she was hiding under there"
I just thought it was a pretty rude thing to say. i know that she was saying it as a compliment but i have a hard time with people making comments like that. My body wasn't hiding, i'm not hiding i'm just living in a healthier place right now. so frustrating
Ick. I hate how so many people are conditioned to hate their bodies if they're not perfect. Yeah, we're working on making our bodies better, but that doesn't mean we hate our bodies and are "hiding under there".12 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I had one this week that kind of irritated me. A female colleague of mine who is very thin told me i was looking good and another female colleague came up and agreed. First female colleague says to the second "I know right? what a great figure she was hiding under there"
I just thought it was a pretty rude thing to say. i know that she was saying it as a compliment but i have a hard time with people making comments like that. My body wasn't hiding, i'm not hiding i'm just living in a healthier place right now. so frustrating
Ick. I hate how so many people are conditioned to hate their bodies if they're not perfect. Yeah, we're working on making our bodies better, but that doesn't mean we hate our bodies and are "hiding under there".
Agree with both of you ladies, which is no surprise as I usually do! 6 -
I want to get a t-shirt that says, "Don't ask." LOL. That way it just cuts this situation all out.10
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seltzermint555 wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »
Agree with both of you ladies, which is no surprise as I usually do!
I know right? I feel like I’m always liking and agreeing with both of your posts all the time too 🤣2 -
Introduced myself to a neighbor’s new girlfriend at a party Saturday night. She looked me up and down, light dawned, and she blurted out in her finest Southern social accent, “Ooooo-hhhh! You’re the one who used to be so fay-at! Everyone’s told me about yew. We talk about yew alll the tiiiime, honey! Everyone says yew are just like a mere-a-cul!”
🤷🏻♀️33 -
springlering62 wrote: »Introduced myself to a neighbor’s new girlfriend at a party Saturday night. She looked me up and down, light dawned, and she blurted out in her finest Southern social accent, “Ooooo-hhhh! You’re the one who used to be so fay-at! Everyone’s told me about yew. We talk about yew alll the tiiiime, honey! Everyone says yew are just like a mere-a-cul!”
🤷🏻♀️
Wow. 😮1 -
@springlering62 - that’s really unfortunate that that happened to you. I would be floored.
But I tagged you just because (as a European) I found your way of writing the southern USA accent sooooo funny ! So thanks for that, I am still laughing as I write this.18 -
@springlering62 - Bless her heart. You are a miracle, Honey - Not because of what you were - but because of what you ARE.
Hugs!17
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