Things people say when you lose weight

VictorSmashes · October 2019

Honestly the fact that no one has noticed I’ve dropped nearly 30 lbs (28 lbs today) and about 3 levels on BMI since May is discouraging actually.

fairytale_babe · October 2019

Good- you're looking really good, love it when my husband notices.
Actually I've only had all good tbh

MySlimGoals · October 2019

VictorSmashes wrote: »

Honestly the fact that no one has noticed I’ve dropped nearly 30 lbs (28 lbs today) and about 3 levels on BMI since May is discouraging actually.

32lbs for me and no one has noticed yet. I’ve certainly noticed though.

Shortgirlrunning · October 2019

VictorSmashes wrote: »

Honestly the fact that no one has noticed I’ve dropped nearly 30 lbs (28 lbs today) and about 3 levels on BMI since May is discouraging actually.

I’m sure people have noticed they probably just think it would be rude to mention it.

I lost 50 lbs before my sister-in-laws wedding and we live in a different state so none of them had seen me since before I started losing weight. The only person to mention it was my husband’s great-aunt whose known for being very blunt and having no filter. Everyone else wanted to be “polite” and not say anything about my weight. Which, yeah, I agree with you is kind of frustrating because I worked hard to get here and everyone’s just pretending they don’t notice a change. But it’s there, I promise!

HDBKLM · October 2019

VictorSmashes wrote: »

Honestly the fact that no one has noticed I’ve dropped nearly 30 lbs (28 lbs today) and about 3 levels on BMI since May is discouraging actually.

I agree with @Shortgirlrunning people have probably noticed and didn't want to be rude. OR they know at some level that there's a difference but can't put their finger on it. You see comments on the boards here all the time where someone's friends or coworkers think they got a haircut or a new outfit or something. For me, for example, I remember that I didn't tell anyone except my partner that I was trying to lose weight, but I saw my gay bestie every day. How this played out since I was losing too slowly for someone who saw me so often to notice, after a certain point, I'd get the occasional side eye from him, with a comment like, "You look extra sexy today ... I don't know why ..." So chances are something like that is going on in your case. Just keep plugging away.

Dorchi22 · October 2019

At the wedding this Saturday:

"You look stunning!"
"You look amazing!"
"You really put up a good work keeping the weight off"
"You shine!"
"That dress looks loose on you, it should be tighter." - a female friend.

The bold one is my favorite.

Diatonic12 · October 2019

Be prepared for when the comments and compliments come to an end. People will get used to seeing you after awhile and they won't say anything. I've had a few...I sure hope you don't eat it all back again this time. Backhanded compliments are probably the hardest to deal with. There's an eliminate of truth but a stinger in there, too. It usually gives me a big pinch but I use it as fuel to stay the course. Under my breath or thinking to myself, I counter with you can eat my dust.

ElizabethKalmbach · October 2019

LAT1963 wrote: »

That sounds like a way I'd react....it's just part of being an awkward science geek.

It means the person likes or is interested in you whether the news is good or bad, not judging you. They are trying to be on your side but don't know how. They wanted to praise you for your weight loss effort, learned you were sick, and tried to keep the health issue as a fixable technical problem (its treated with vitamin injections, for readers unfamiliar) rather than a chronic troubling illness. Then they indicated they understand the nature of your technical problem and want to give you what they know in an effort to help you deal with the problem. Focusing on solving the technical aspect is a way of avoiding facing head on the emotional issue of learning someone you like has a scary problem.

Yeah, my Dad is a research chemist, so I'm used to people not really noticing physical appearance, unless you're violating lab safety protocols. I'm totally down with that, because as long as my purple mohawk isn't violating a safety protocol, nobody cares if it's gone a bit past "business casual." It feels *MEAN* telling them bad news when they're temporarily proud to have made an observation that could lead to a positive social interaction. Because it leads to awkward floundering.

I'm already awkward enough for the both of us. >_<

bear2303 · October 2019

Lol i just had one! I was in the break room and a male coworker of mine said "hey you're wasting away! I mean, every time i see you youre smaller! I mean, you look good?" lol lol lol awkward interactions are the best

EliseTK1 · October 2019

My weight has gone up and down quite a bit over the years. Now I have developed consistent healthy habits, and I'm vocal about it. I'm probably annoying to some folks because of how I talk about lifting weights and such, but I'm always happy to share what I'm doing when people are curious.

Most people don't comment on my body. I get a lot of compliments on my outfits, and when I run into people I haven't seen in a long time, they tell me I'm "glowing" or "radiant," and I just say I'm really happy and active. I do have one old co-worker who asks every time I see her if I've lost more weight. (She always acknowledges how hard I've worked, so I appreciate it.) I think most others keep it to themselves because they've seen me both gain and lose, and they don't want to be rude.

healingnurtrer · October 2019

I ran into an old friend recently who must have lost 100 lbs since the last time I saw her. I was thinking about this thread so hard thinking, "What should I say?? Should I bring it up? Not bring it up?" I didn't want to offend her bringing up her weight or disappoint her by not bringing it up.

I went with - "You look great!"

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake · October 2019

I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"

I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."

Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.

darklyndsea · October 2019

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »

I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"

I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."

Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.

It sounds like "You had a pretty face before, and that hasn't changed: you still have a pretty face" to me.

ellie117 · October 2019

The weirdest one I get is "wait you weigh how much? HOW?!" as their idea of an arbitrary "fat" number must mean someone should look like a character from Wall-E if they're overweight. People now tell me I look great and shouldn't lose any more, when I'm still in the 'overweight' BMI category and could lose another 30lbs and still be in the "normal" range.

Roza42 · October 2019

I moved and basically have only talked to a couple of people who knew me 100 lbs ago, so I don't really get the comments except for the ex who always manages to tell me how great I look.

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake · October 2019

Roza42 wrote: »

I moved and basically have only talked to a couple of people who knew me 100 lbs ago, so I don't really get the comments except for the ex who always manages to tell me how great I look.

Do you ever let them know you were heavier, or do you just have a type of new identity?

MySlimGoals · October 2019

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »

I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"

I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."

Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.

Wait... when she knew you back years ago were you fat then? I agree with it being a passive aggressive comment unless 'years' was pre-weight gain.

Roza42 · October 2019

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »

Roza42 wrote: »

I moved and basically have only talked to a couple of people who knew me 100 lbs ago, so I don't really get the comments except for the ex who always manages to tell me how great I look.

Do you ever let them know you were heavier, or do you just have a type of new identity?

I have let people know that I work with once there were questions about why I weigh my food or if I was eating enough. It's not like I don't eat lol. I eat between 1800 and 2000 calories a day.

And I'm not trying to hide the fact, it's just that it hasn't come up in conversation with some people. Like the fact that I am 54.

AnnPT77 · November 2019

Funny ones:

Cousin in law: You've lost weight. How did you do that?
Me: I ate less.
C.I.L.: It's all your rowing, isn't it? It's your rowing!
Me: I've been rowing for over a decade, the same amount I am now. (in my head: ". . . and you know that.")

Old college roommate I hadn't seen in 30 years: Well, you've managed to stay slim!
Me: LOL + showed her before & afters.

Rowing friend I hadn't seen in a few months: Ann, so nice to see you . . . and I think I'm seeing less of you?

Random friend: It's impossible to lose weight without cutting carbs.
Me: I lost about 50 pounds, eating plenty of carbs.
Friend: I read all the books over the Winter, and they all said you have to cut out carbs!

I was more troubled by a usually-sensible friend who got worried that I was anorexic, toward the end of weight loss. I think I did look a little gaunt or haggard for a while, until my skin and such kind of caught up a few months later. But she was all fussed, although I was eating like 2000 calories a day by then, and told her so. It can be shocking to people who are used to seeing us fat.

For a while, some of my friends were doing the "skin and bones!" "don't lose more!" kind of thing, which just made me eye-roll. I didn't feel particularly offended or wounded (my ego strength/confidence is, if anything, too strong

).

I had a few awkward exchanges because people know I'm a stage III (advanced) breast cancer survivor, so they weren't sure whether I was thinner and OK, or not OK. Again, didn't bother me, and I was happy to reassure them.

Now that I've been in maintenance for a few years, comments have pretty much stopped, other than the occasional "of course you can eat anything you want" sort of thing. Yeah? No.

MarcyMavin · November 2019

Also funny the things people don’t say. I prefer people to say nothing, but a few do and it’s okay. But very interestingly, the three who have nagged me for years about health and weight loss, have said not a thing now that I’m down so noticeably much. I’m glad Because I don’t want to talk to them about it, but I’m a tad curious to what they are thinking.

Things people say when you lose weight

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