WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2019

Rho97070 · October 2019

Reinventing Rhonda - Oct 6, 2019 - End of first week
The Good and The Bad

First the good:
I walked every day this past week and I'm feeling the benefits: I'm more inclined to "just do it" without an internal mental fight going on in my head and I feel a tinge of pride that I've done it when finished. I'm now just under 200lbs! Getting under 200 is great motivation for me to up my exercise, although I know there may be some variation in the days to come. Cleaning up/out my garage is nearly complete. My BF is a bit of a hoarder and his stuff was mixed with mine. Having to move his stuff (I'm taking kid stuff from the 1950's and 1960's!) to get to mine frustrated the heck out of me. Plus, I know I'll move in the next year, maybe two, and with advancing age I want to make the move as easy as possible. What's more, vowed I would not leave a mess for my children to clean up like both of my parents did. Yesterday, I gathered up BF's stuff. Today, I will move his stuff into his garage.

Clean out clothes closet and complete scanning important papers - I carved out time this coming week to clean out my closet and feel that digitizing the papers will be completed by the end of the month. Logging foods, eating more veggies - Is going okay, but I need to improve doing both!

Now for the bad:
My boundaries are well established, and I'm a fairly self-directed, disciplined morning person that prefers somewhat regular times to sleep, shower, eat meals, exercise, etc. My BF is the opposite and we live in a 1-bedroom apt. He works from home. His clients contact him willy-nilly and he often works well after midnight. We've talked about my needing regular sleep, meals, and lights out in the bedroom after 10pm, etc. When we talk he's empathetic and adjusts his activities so we can enjoy meals together, sleep better, and do fun things together. But after a short while the cycle starts again. He'll claim no time to sit down for a meal together (after I've gone to the trouble); turns on bedroom lights upon going to bed and leaves his phone on/respond to clients late at night - urggh! One of my aims last month was to re-establish a regular sleep schedule and I was successful. But last week, well, I now feel it was practically all for naught and I'm grumpy.

I really like Janet's quote: ""Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thought". I've ascribed to that motto for some time. It helped greatly in changing the trajectory my life could have gone towards with my ex-spouse. Right now, I could use some suggestions to replace the current thought in my head that says I'm raising another son - anyone?

1948Peachy · October 2019

Machka ~ I looked at the survey and gave up filling it out: 1) I have been retired for over 10 yrs and 2) I am so sedentary that I was ashamed to answer the first few questions.

Rita & Luci ~ I too suffer with bouts of depression. Have taken medication all my adult life. A lot of what I go through now is due to a husband who has always shown signs of emotional unstability (he would never acknowledge it). I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very easily hurt. Thank God for prayer!

Finally won a scrabble game...

Carol in GA

grogers511 · October 2019

ginnytez wrote: »

Ginger-thanks for the quitting smoking tips. I am still a victim of that habit. My husband quit after he had a heart stent and never picked them back up but he still said got the urge for them occasionally and would even have dreams where he smoked. I have cut back significantly on how much I smoke. I also don't smoke in house, vehicle, etc. I am at the point of of thinking about quitting. I haven't drank alcohol for years, have pretty healthy eating but that last thing is tough.
Ginny in Ohio

Ginny - You can do it. This was my journey: 🔲 In 2013 was on a mission to manage my health. So I made a list of all the things I needed to do to “improve my health”. Then I started working through my list. Putting big check marks next to each item. I knew the cardio and gastro docs were going to tell me to quit smoking - so I quit just before seeing them. I wanted to be able to say I quit. My thought was to take it one day at a time and the worst thing that could happen is - I’d start smoking again. Nothing to lose by trying. I never seriously thought of smoking as an addiction. All that kind of talk just seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Oh I would say “I’m addicted to these things.” But I mostly said that in a joking way. Turns out... the joke was on me. I never considered that NICOTINE is such an addictive substance. For me smoking was about the whole ritual of smoking. But, I learned there’s a reason it’s a ritual... and that’s because it is an addiction. Much like heroin, meth, alcohol. That was a real eye opener for me. 🔲 I highly recommend watching a 12 minute somewhat entertaining YouTube video by Doc Mike Evans - titled What is the Single Best Thing You Can Do to Quit Smoking? (Short and entertaining - best for my squirrel brain.) When I watched the part about nicotine receptors on my brain... it clicked for me. I smoked my last 3 packs of cigarettes and didn’t buy any more. 🔲 Just before opening that 3rd pack - I found the Quit Coach app by LIVESTRONG and started tracking the times I craved and the times I smoked. Just the tap of a button on the app. I became more aware. Then I found the associated online community. Great support there. And I learned so much there. 🔲 There’s also a great educational website: whyquit.com.
🔲 Good Luck to you! You can do it. What’s the worst that can happen by trying? ❤️

Ginger in Texas

LisaInAR · October 2019

Rhonda - One of my favorite authors said, "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." Anything else I say would just be gilding that lily. You already know the answer, you're looking for confirmation. And bluntly, one-bedroom apartments are an invitation to disaster for most couples. Everyone needs their space. Separate bathrooms are also helpful.

Had a nap, now for a lazy rest of my afternoon as well. Heard on Twitter:

Love y'all,
Lisa

pipcd34 · October 2019

Ooo

sh0tzz99 · October 2019

Rhonda- Perhaps, ask him to rent a shared workspace, a la WeWork.

As for eating, we used to sit down to dinner every night and even though it was only 15 minutes, it was nice. However, now my mister and I are different "dieting" schedules. So, I cook something and it's in the fridge and we eat when it works for us. We do eat breakfast together every day and we do have time to talk in the evenings, but we do what works for each of us. I also miss cooking, but look at the bright side...I don't miss the cleaning up.

We could not live peacefully in a small place. We both need our space and when we bought our current house, I insisted upon my own garage space and my own bathroom. My own garage space lasted until I ceased to have a car. But my bathroom is sacred and he no longer enters without knocking.

We also had just over a year where he wasn't working, and as I've mentioned, I work from home. Although he wasn't in the house most of the daytime, he was still "there." 24 hours a day is FAR too much time together for us.

Tina in CA

Anniesquats100 · October 2019

I hit the gym again yay! This time I did half a mile on the treadmill. My hip was sore but just like a sore muscle. I did two of the leg machines too. It feels like such a tiny bit of exercise, but it's the safe way. As long as I build up the habit. I did forget my water bottle today. So gym 2x a week and PT 2x a week, and I do dumbbells at home 3x a week. That should add up to some toning!

bwcetc · October 2019

Rhonda ... my first thought echoed some others ... what's the possibility of a 2-bedroom apartment? Two people in a one bedroom is hard no matter how well you connect/relate.

Rita ... hugs

Rebecca ... for some reason, regardless of what I weigh ... I still wear the same size underwear?? I have no idea why and we're talking as much as an 80-90 pound difference. I hate buying underwear. However, instead of fussing that I'm not some tiny size, I buy the gaudiest, most colorful "brief" style panties I can find and laugh every morning when I pick out something that matches the outfit I'm wearing. Old-lady underpants in multi colors and prints! LOL! I also buy slippers like your recent choice. Easy to carry with me when visiting friends who don't appreciate shoes in their homes.

Janetr ... I always ... always ... love seeing your before and after photos! You are my inspiration.

Michele ... cute owl cookies!

Yesterday took a 2.5 hour drive to see our nephew at SUNY Environmental Science and Forestry College... adjacent to Syracuse University. He is studying environmental engineering. He is a fabulous woodworker and he also does chainsaw carvings ... sort of an Adirondack style thing ... bears, benches, eagles. To earn quick money, he also carves seasonal things like pumpkins and Christmas trees. I picked out some pumpkins!

Beth near Buffalo

drkatiebug · October 2019

Janet, you are simply beautiful!

Carol, I’d be upset if my husband decided to smoke again, too. On the other hand, I am sympathetic to how hard it is to break a habit that is pleasurable.

Rita, hugs.

coastalgosgal · October 2019

Thanks for all the undies empathy💖👍. Now I don't feel so out in left field. Ooh my creations today! I used the low-fat portion on the spice cake, eliminating the oil and adding some of the Apple pie mixture. I put the yams in the batter mixing lightly. Then picked the blobs out to put in my loaf pan. Then added pie mixture, and covered with more spice cake batter. I added one slice of Apple on top with some oats.
The good side the yam juice boiled with some of the Apple pie mixture and a tablespoon of butter turned it into a dark spreadable "icing". There was enough space for the cake to not be soupy.👍

💖Rebecca

gingerbeericecold · October 2019

My hired "son" didn't come this morning to help out with projects. His car broke down way up on a remote highway and he had to borrow his boss's flatbed and truck to go get it. Poor kid. He's a single father with two little ones and has only found seasonal work in this rural community. I hire him for three hours on Sunday to help me with all the chores my son used to help me with. My (grown) son has a fatal neurological disease (Huntingtons) and no longer leaves the house.

I offered to lend my hired guy a little old Geo I have sitting in my backyard - it's a good car and gets good mileage, but O Man, those old Geos are a pain to drive. No power-assisted steering at all. I bought the Geo from my brother so that he could take a much-needed vacation on his motorbike and paid much more than it was worth. It was a temporary replacement for a little old Hyundai I had had for eight years and nearly run into the ground. I gave the Hyundai to another fellow in need. Anyway, I drove the Geo two months before I bought my lovely (high-mileage) Pilot for an outrageously low price. So, it all balanced out, I think. Here's the Geo, it doesn't really look this good up close as the paint is very oxidized. But silver paint hides that pretty well.

What do you think? Should I just give my hired guy my Geo? His boss thinks he's worthy of as much help as we can give but there's a fine line for a man between being a charity case and accepting help. I think I may sell it to him for a token amount and he can pay me by continuing to come to work with me a couple hours once a week for a couple months.

In other news, this handsome kitty was sitting on my porch this morning and I recognized him immediately as a lost kitty named Steve. His people (who just moved here) ran right over when I texted them and saved him. Yeah! They could hardly believe it was him since I lived many blocks away from them and kept saying "Are you sure it's him?" But they found him two minutes later when he heard their voices and meowed from under my porch.

Had a turkey BLT for Bfast at a local cafe so I have to go hike now. Best to all.

coastalgosgal · October 2019

Leftover batter!

💖Rebecca

SophieRosieMom · October 2019

janetr7476 · October 2019

Lisa, thanks for the kind comment on my different hair style. I think I'd mentioned I was going to try an asymmetrical style, I took this last night after we got home from dinner to show my girls that my hair is almost the length I want it on the "long" side. My hair is so white it doesn't show up well in pictures. Lol Please excuse my "patio dress" that is too big now. Lol

Janetr OKC

barbiecat · October 2019

I guess I overdid my return to strength training and have very sore muscles across my ribs. The really hurt when I cough or sneeze. Riding my exercise bike seems to aggravate the pain so I'm staying off the bike. Walking is not a problem. I thought I was being very moderate but I guess I just naturally over-do.

Barbie from NW WA

Katla49 · October 2019

Warning, opinionated comments ahead:

To those fighting depression, I suffered from SAD for many years, and so did my mom. She always called it the wintertime blues. SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is often part of the lives of people who were born in the longer days of spring & summer. The farther you live from the equator, the more you might be affected by long dark days of winter. I speak from experience. Vitamin D-3 is considered to be the sunshine vitamin. I take a dose every day, and seasonal affective disorder rarely troubles me these days. In the dark days of winter, I sometimes increase my dose of Vitamin D-3. I also have very bright solar temperature light bulbs in all of the rooms in our house. If seasonal depression is a problem in your life, talk to your doctor. D3 may help. Sunlight temperature lightbulbs may help, too. In my opinion, brighter lighting & D3 are a lot easier to deal with than chemical stimulants such as amphetamines.

Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

coastalgosgal · October 2019

Wise advice Katla.👍💖

pipcd34 · October 2019

stat for the day:

treadmill jog- 48.10min,142ahr, 162mhr, 9.38min mi, 6.2-9.0sp, 5mi 568c
apple watch- 606c

total cal 568

Machka9 · October 2019

Rho97070 wrote: »

Reinventing Rhonda - Oct 6, 2019 - End of first week
The Good and The Bad

First the good:
I walked every day this past week and I'm feeling the benefits: I'm more inclined to "just do it" without an internal mental fight going on in my head and I feel a tinge of pride that I've done it when finished. I'm now just under 200lbs! Getting under 200 is great motivation for me to up my exercise, although I know there may be some variation in the days to come. Cleaning up/out my garage is nearly complete. My BF is a bit of a hoarder and his stuff was mixed with mine. Having to move his stuff (I'm taking kid stuff from the 1950's and 1960's!) to get to mine frustrated the heck out of me. Plus, I know I'll move in the next year, maybe two, and with advancing age I want to make the move as easy as possible. What's more, vowed I would not leave a mess for my children to clean up like both of my parents did. Yesterday, I gathered up BF's stuff. Today, I will move his stuff into his garage.

Clean out clothes closet and complete scanning important papers - I carved out time this coming week to clean out my closet and feel that digitizing the papers will be completed by the end of the month. Logging foods, eating more veggies - Is going okay, but I need to improve doing both!

Now for the bad:
My boundaries are well established, and I'm a fairly self-directed, disciplined morning person that prefers somewhat regular times to sleep, shower, eat meals, exercise, etc. My BF is the opposite and we live in a 1-bedroom apt. He works from home. His clients contact him willy-nilly and he often works well after midnight. We've talked about my needing regular sleep, meals, and lights out in the bedroom after 10pm, etc. When we talk he's empathetic and adjusts his activities so we can enjoy meals together, sleep better, and do fun things together. But after a short while the cycle starts again. He'll claim no time to sit down for a meal together (after I've gone to the trouble); turns on bedroom lights upon going to bed and leaves his phone on/respond to clients late at night - urggh! One of my aims last month was to re-establish a regular sleep schedule and I was successful. But last week, well, I now feel it was practically all for naught and I'm grumpy.

I really like Janet's quote: ""Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thought". I've ascribed to that motto for some time. It helped greatly in changing the trajectory my life could have gone towards with my ex-spouse. Right now, I could use some suggestions to replace the current thought in my head that says I'm raising another son - anyone?

Can you move into a 2-bedroom place?

My husband and I couldn't function in a 1-bedroom ... we can barely do it for a night or two on holidays.

He's an early bird and I'm a night owl.

M in Oz

margaretturk · October 2019

Heather thank you for thinking of me when viewing sculptures. You are right I would love them. I loved visiting Milas Home in Stockholm when I was there 10 years ago. We have one of his in our City Hall here is St. Paul. There are several in St. Louis where I grew up too.

I went on a historic tour of Stillwater homes today. Stillwater was going to be our state capital. Now it a suburb of St. Paul. The one I enjoyed most was done by a gentle who had renovated homes out east. His home out east had connections to Daniel Boone and Benjamin Franklin. Just listening to his stories made the tour worth while.

Perfect weather for it today!

WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2019

Replies

Categories