Spare the rod and spoil the child?

Is is ok to hit your spouse if they disobey you? No. So it isn't ok to hit a child who is smaller and more defenceless. I am quite horrified by most of the responses on this thread.

How nonsensical is this? An adult does not have to "obey" their spouse. Children need to obey their parents.

It infuriates me when people mis-use the scripture, "Spare the rod...". If you go back to the original Greek, the word "rod" actually translates "staff," as in "shepherd's staff.". This scripture is calling people to guide their children gently, as a shepherd does his sheep. To get them back on track when they get in line. This scripture is not an excuse to beat children, and any pastor who preaches it that way clearly doesn't know the origin of the text.

That is not an option to me at all. There are a lot more efficient ways to deal with discipline in my opinion.

My children are well behaved, a lot better than most! Not angels, sometimes they need talking to more than once, but they have enough respect for me to listen when needed. I got spanked as a child and I would hate doing that to my children.

I do believe in spanking, I do believe there are definately lines that should not be crossed, and I do NOT believe that spanking in itself creates a violent child who thinks it's ok to hit others.

I grew up with a father who was an old school Catholic raised man and he was raised by the belt...and so were my brother and I.

My brother certainly got spanked a hell of a lot more than I did, but when we were spanked it was because we absolutely crossed the line.

And we never crossed those lines again. In fact, past a certain age we figured out our parents are in charge, we are not, and we do what we're told and were never spanked again.

To each his own. There is a difference between spanking and punishment for horrible behavior and abuse, IMHO.

In my opinion ---

It isn't spanking in itself that is ineffective, it's the inconsistency and incorrect methods that have made spanking such a controversial topic.

My mother spanked me (sometimes, probably too much) but always with an explanation, exactly when she said she would do it, and with a very healthy balance of love and positive reinforcement.
My step sister threatens her children for hours and then her husband comes home and literally beats the bejeebies out of them. That is abuse, and that is why she no longer has custody of her own children.
Our other sister uses spanking only in extreme situations when the children are too young to be "talked to" and a swat (using the palm of your hand and nothing else) to the rear is a quick and efficient way to deliver the message.

I'm not really a maternal sort of individual, but I've found that it all depends on the child. When babysitting my nephews from the abusive home, I wouldn't even have considered spanking them. But with my other neices and nephews, although I wouldn't do it myself, I knew their parents would deliver that punishment of their own accord if they felt it was warranted.

If I have children of my own, I seriously doubt I'll use this tactic, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's an absolute non-option. Just my opinion.

I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

That's great...I might have to try those I do believe in spanking but not for everything. I don't believe it makes for violent kids / adults. Those that have issues with violence, usually had some extreme abuse as a child...not a smack on the butt.

As a PE teacher I get rather upset with parents that do this for their punishment. You are teaching your kid that fitness is bad and something that do when they do something wrong. I am all for parents finding what works best to punish their kid. However, fitness should be something fun not a form of punishment. In my class if a kid does something wrong the have to sit out and watch everyone else play. It is way more effective than to make them do push ups (even if they aren't my kid).

To answer the question about spanking though...I do believe in spanking when it is needed but not as normal form of punishment. My son is 9 and I think I have spanked him 3 times. I always explain why the situation happened and he then has to explain back to me what was wrong about what he did. Normally time out or taking away video games/toys/tv works best in our house.

There's nothing fun about the way fitness is taught in schools. I am quite a naturally fit person, but I spent 15 years of school (from 3-18) absolutely HATING PE with every fibre of my being. I would come up with any excuse to avoid it, even though I was also rowing 6 days a week, and doing weight training, and was one of the fittest people in my year, of either sex.

Clearly you haven't been in a PE classroom in many years. Several years ago PE theories changed and MOST PE teachers have changed along the way. I will admit that PE back int he day was not something fun for lots of people. However, I have been teaching for 5 years and have not have a single kid that didn't love coming to my class. My PE class aren't all sports centered and it isn't the athletes vs the non-athletic like I remember from when I was a kid. My students have options and actually help me plan the year around what they want to do. Most PE classes focus on lifelong fitness instead of team sports.

"In general, kids seem to be pretty out of control and they have very little respect for anybody or anything. When I was a kid I spoke to my friends parents and other adults as Mr. so-and-so, Ms/Mrs. so-and-so. I would never dream cus at another adult or disrepsect them because I knew my dad would kick my butt. Plus, it seems that kids have a very big sense of entitlement anymore. They expect everything be given to them, expensive clothes, phones, cars, etc."


I see this too. I work with children daily and when I was a child we didn't back talk teachers. The respect level of children is pretty bad but when you call in parents to explain to them what their child is doing, you see why. I'm not sure how to fix it but yes, children today are very materialistic. Sure I wanted things that other kids had as a child but it didn't ruin my whole life when I didn't get them. I think a lot of it is the modern day teen reality shows. All kids think they need to have the lives they seen portrayed on tv... but why we parents feel the need to fulfill that is beyond me.

This is so true.

I don't have kids, but I've sure seen plenty that I'd like to spank myself!

BTW - you ALWAYS start the BEST topics!

Is is ok to hit your spouse if they disobey you? No. So it isn't ok to hit a child who is smaller and more defenceless. I am quite horrified by most of the responses on this thread.

How nonsensical is this? An adult does not have to "obey" their spouse. Children need to obey their parents.

So have rules that are sensible (i.e. for safety reasons or to become likeable adults) and explain why they must be obeyed. What is it teaching a child to say "do what I say without question or I will hurt you"?

Some people would say a spouse should obey their other half. If you believe that, does it become ok to be physically violent? No. It's not with children either. There are other ways that are just as effective if you have the patience and intelligence to apply them. Any old thug can hit.

Who ever said to say to your child "Do what I say without question or I will hurt you"???? I don't know any decent parent that says that. Before a certain age, children cannot reason. Sitting them down and "explaining" to them does nothing until they can understand. I know many families from the UK who spank their children, and I would absolutely call them "good parents".

I too was spanked and I turned out well behaved and very respectful of others. I have spanked my son when I felt it was needed.

My son is very respectful, doesnt hit others and knows right from worng.

I have seen other children out that were so out of control and the Mother and father both telling them in a nice calm matter that " NOW USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE..THIS IS NOT HOW WE SHOULD ACT NOW SHOULD WE"??

BULL**** !!!! You tear that *kitten* up once in a while and those kids wont act thay way !! I think thats whats wrong with so many of them now !! they know they can get away with it...NO WAY EVEN TODAY should my son try to get a little loud or in my face he will meet the SWAT TEAM ! FOR SURE !