Spare the rod and spoil the child?

Options
1…34689…13

Replies

  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
    Options
    Is is ok to hit your spouse if they disobey you? No. So it isn't ok to hit a child who is smaller and more defenceless. I am quite horrified by most of the responses on this thread.

    Wow.........This is not comparing apples to apples at all! Poor analagy!

    and to think my ex husband literally told me (several times and with a completely serious expression) that he felt like if i disobeyed him he had every right to discipline me.

    thus the "ex".
  • barbara1982
    barbara1982 Posts: 349 Member
    Options
    I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

    I must say, I would have loved that as a kid! I liked to do any kind of sports including pushups and jumping jacks. So that would not have been a punishment for me!

    But like the fact, that you use it as a form of punishment!
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
    Options
    Another debaaate! raaaaah!!
  • jnettiedotson
    jnettiedotson Posts: 163
    Options
    I think striking another person is demeaning (for both) and humiliating. It doesn't 'teach' anything except bigger ppl can get their way with violence.
    I strongly disapprove of hitting children and animals. They are completely defenseless and WHAT can a child or dog do to deserve that? Now when my 18 mo old son was sticking his finger in an electrical socket, I did smack his hand - I felt terrible, but I figure it's better than him being electrocuted.
    But no, I think hitting is wrong. period. it is never right. and people who hit eventually meet someone who can & will kick their *kitten*

    The first time I ever spanked my daughter (she's 12 now) she was about 3. She pulled her hand out of mine, and ran into the street because she didn't want to go next door to her Grannies. She almost got hit by a car, so yes, I tore that *kitten* up! I'm sure it hurt a lot less than it would have if she got hit by the car, and she never ran out in the street again after that. I never really did much spanking, I'm more of a yeller...and that doesnt' work either. I have twin 16 month old boys now, and I have popped them on the hand a couple times and popped their butts and they think it's hilarious! Not to mention, they hit back at this age and think that's funny too. I don't think spanking is child abuse, I've seen real life child abuse as a kid, and I would never abuse my children. But, it doesn't work for everyone, and how one disciplines their child is really none of my business unless they're literally beating the mess outta them and I witness it.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Options
    Again....every family is different, every child is different, every situation is different, and every BELIEF is different.

    I personally feel that the generations keep getting more disrespectful and more out of control because of this PC "spanking your child with the back of your hand is abuse" mentality.

    If parents out there are able to get their kids to behave without the use of punishment and spanking, more power to you.

    But how dare anyone pass judgement on others who have chosen a different path.
  • bmfrazie
    bmfrazie Posts: 2,391 Member
    Options
    I honestly wonder if people hear themselves when they speak?

    Hitting a child = positive teaching

    Hitting a CHILD with a BELT is ok

    Using physical violence(don't kid yourselves, spanking is physical violence) is perfectly acceptable against a 30lb CHILD.

    Children don't respect because we don't hit them enough.

    I mean does anyone really stop to think about what they're doing?

    I completely agree! I am really sickened. I don't know any parents who hit their children.

    Well I am sickened by any parent that makes their child run laps as a form of punishment. I don't know any parent that is a "GOOD" parent that would do that.
  • erikaphoffmann
    erikaphoffmann Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    if you spank to get their attention and not beat them, one swift but not hard pop on the butt, then yes. but a beating is wrong. actually hurting a child with physical violence is wrong, in my opinion. instead of teaching them to listen, to behave you're teaching them to hit when they lose control, when they don't get their way, etc.

    you're the adult, find a more constructive way to achieve your goals.

    i've two grown boys, neither has ever been hit. you'd be amazed how talking to (not at) them from the beginning will help you not lose control.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Options
    Ohhhh, hot topic.

    When I was a kid my brother and I got spankings and we turned out pretty well adjusted. My little sister on the other hand, did not receive spankings and she is a complete monster! Okay, maybe not a monster, but she doesn't respect my parents and she just generally acts like a complete brat. (she is getting better but she is 21 now, it took a long time to reach "okay")


    I wasn't sure where I would stand on the whole spanking thing when I had kids. Now that I am a mother I can say every situation is different. People say bite when they bite, tug on their hair when they pull hair...yea, my daughter laughed her head off. She thought that was a cool new game.

    She is still too young for spankings so I am not sure where we will land on that with her. But for the most part, I don't believe they will turn people into violent people. Sometimes it is necessary. I do think they should only be given when that is the last resort. If they are given every time the child "acts" up then they won't be effective. IMO.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    Is is ok to hit your spouse if they disobey you? No. So it isn't ok to hit a child who is smaller and more defenceless. I am quite horrified by most of the responses on this thread.

    Wow.........This is not comparing apples to apples at all! Poor analagy!

    and to think my ex husband literally told me (several times and with a completely serious expression) that he felt like if i disobeyed him he had every right to discipline me.

    thus the "ex".

    There you go! Obviously some people really do come away with that message.
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    Options
    Beating_A_Dead_Horse.gif
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Options
    @fteale
    Earlier you said you had quite a pair of lungs. Does this mean you scream at your child? How is screaming any less detrimental to the emotional well-being of a child? I was spanked and screamed at as a child and I can tell you that being screamed at was far more damaging emotionally than a spanking.
  • jbdowns35
    jbdowns35 Posts: 352
    Options
    I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

    That's great...I might have to try those :) I do believe in spanking but not for everything. I don't believe it makes for violent kids / adults. Those that have issues with violence, usually had some extreme abuse as a child...not a smack on the butt.

    Im not against a smack on the butt in some circumstances, but I always liked to be more creative than that!! I have also used the pushup & jumping jacks punishment!!! I think it's great!! Gets them some exercise, plus serves as a punishment. I raised 3 kids & what I found out worked the best (especially for teenagers) was simply threatening an unknown consequense. I would let them know they had a choice. For example: "your curfew is 11:00. It's your choice if you want to stay out later, but if you do, there will be consequenses." This way, THEY are responsible for their actions.I wouldn't tell them what the consequenses were. The unknown was best because they weren't sure what was going to happen to them if they broke the rules! Worked like a charm, I think they liked that I gave them the option to make their own choices intead of controling everything they did, but the threat of unknown consequenses helped them to make better decisions & kept them from being defiant.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    I honestly wonder if people hear themselves when they speak?

    Hitting a child = positive teaching

    Hitting a CHILD with a BELT is ok

    Using physical violence(don't kid yourselves, spanking is physical violence) is perfectly acceptable against a 30lb CHILD.

    Children don't respect because we don't hit them enough.

    I mean does anyone really stop to think about what they're doing?

    I completely agree! I am really sickened. I don't know any parents who hit their children.

    Well I am sickened by any parent that makes their child run laps as a form of punishment. I don't know any parent that is a "GOOD" parent that would do that.

    Oh bollocks. It's not punishment. It's to burn off excess energy, which my children have in abundance. They like running, and it's good for them. How is getting belted good for anyone?
  • bmfrazie
    bmfrazie Posts: 2,391 Member
    Options
    @fteale
    Earlier you said you had quite a pair of lungs. Does this mean you scream at your child? How is screaming any less detrimental to the emotional well-being of a child? I was spanked and screamed at as a child and I can tell you that being screamed at was far more damaging emotionally than a spanking.

    Totally agree 100% Screaming at a kid counts as verbal abuse just as much as hitting or physical tasks can count as Physical Abuse.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Options
    I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

    That's great...I might have to try those :) I do believe in spanking but not for everything. I don't believe it makes for violent kids / adults. Those that have issues with violence, usually had some extreme abuse as a child...not a smack on the butt.

    As a PE teacher I get rather upset with parents that do this for their punishment. You are teaching your kid that fitness is bad and something that do when they do something wrong. I am all for parents finding what works best to punish their kid. However, fitness should be something fun not a form of punishment. In my class if a kid does something wrong the have to sit out and watch everyone else play. It is way more effective than to make them do push ups (even if they aren't my kid).

    To answer the question about spanking though...I do believe in spanking when it is needed but not as normal form of punishment. My son is 9 and I think I have spanked him 3 times. I always explain why the situation happened and he then has to explain back to me what was wrong about what he did. Normally time out or taking away video games/toys/tv works best in our house.

    I thought the same thing.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Options
    Again....every family is different, every child is different, every situation is different, and every BELIEF is different.

    I personally feel that the generations keep getting more disrespectful and more out of control because of this PC "spanking your child with the back of your hand is abuse" mentality.

    If parents out there are able to get their kids to behave without the use of punishment and spanking, more power to you.

    But how dare anyone pass judgement on others who have chosen a different path.


    Thank you!! :drinker:
  • bmfrazie
    bmfrazie Posts: 2,391 Member
    Options
    I honestly wonder if people hear themselves when they speak?

    Hitting a child = positive teaching

    Hitting a CHILD with a BELT is ok

    Using physical violence(don't kid yourselves, spanking is physical violence) is perfectly acceptable against a 30lb CHILD.

    Children don't respect because we don't hit them enough.

    I mean does anyone really stop to think about what they're doing?

    I completely agree! I am really sickened. I don't know any parents who hit their children.

    Well I am sickened by any parent that makes their child run laps as a form of punishment. I don't know any parent that is a "GOOD" parent that would do that.

    Oh bollocks. It's not punishment. It's to burn off excess energy, which my children have in abundance. They like running, and it's good for them. How is getting belted good for anyone?
    Just so you know that if pushed to the extreme what you are talking about is physical counted as physical abuse.
  • bmfrazie
    bmfrazie Posts: 2,391 Member
    Options
    Oh and if the kid likes to run then how are you finding that a form of punishment?
  • PecanTanDiva
    PecanTanDiva Posts: 162
    Options
    I have 5, ranging in ages 24-9. They've all been spanked when necessary. What I have learned, though, is different types of punishments work better for different kids. I do not think properly, appropriately spanking your child will make him/her violent. I think most kids need a good spanking!

    I agree...I was spanked as a child and if my children get out of hand, they will be properly punished. I have noticed that I dont have to spank them anymore due to their ages (17 & two 11 yr olds). Now they have things that interest them and I take it away or they cant do the things they are used to doing. My mother in law calls me the sheriff :laugh: . I just make sure the rules are followed, but I will still give out a spanking if I think any one of them needs it.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    @fteale
    Earlier you said you had quite a pair of lungs. Does this mean you scream at your child? How is screaming any less detrimental to the emotional well-being of a child? I was spanked and screamed at as a child and I can tell you that being screamed at was far more damaging emotionally than a spanking.

    Totally agree 100% Screaming at a kid counts as verbal abuse just as much as hitting or physical tasks can count as Physical Abuse.

    If you agree hitting is physical abuse, why are so many people on this thread condoning it?

    Frankly, I am completely disgusted. This is actually really putting me off using this site. What most of you are talking about is sanctioned child abuse. It's sickening.

    And no, I don't scream at my children unless they are making so much noise it is literally the only way for them to hear me, but knock yourself out with the attempts to pick at my parenting in retaliation.

Categories