Spare the rod and spoil the child?

What I originally said was most bad behaviour is as a result of pent up energy. I get my children to run around the garden when they are being vile, and they are much happier for it. Twist all you like, you are just totally 100% twisting my words.

Seriously, some of you have some seriously warped logic going on here.

I find it really sad that some of the people talking about being "spanked" as children are using words like "whipped" "beat" "belt" "leather strap" etc...you weren't spanked, that is a beating and that is not right and sends the wrong message.

A spanking done correctly and explained and done sparingly can be effective.

Being "beat" or "hit" regularly is not and is abuse. BIG difference here.

Nope. I wasn't abused. I was spanked. With a belt, because my dad did it. My dad is very big man, who is really bad at judging his own strength. He spanked my sister ONCE with his hand, realized he had done it way too hard, so he used a belt. My dad is a great man and by no means an abuser, so don't judge before you know the situation, thanks

Well this is about to go over about like a turd in a punch bowl but here it is

We spank in my house when necessary and its very rare. When my kids misbehave (talking back, being rude, ignoring my requests over and over) i make my kids clean toilets, sweep and mop the floor, scoop dog poop, bag of leaves, and other forms of manual labor.

Sometimes we do push-ups or they have to stand on the wall. I am a screamer and it DOES NOT work for my kids. I have 2 very well behaved kids I am am very proud of them. However just like adults they can be buttheads. The difference between them is they are children and need to be taught what is appropriate and what isnt. I dont think you should ever spank your kids out of anger and excessive spanking is not cool. It shouldnt have to happen that often. If you are constantly spanking your kids then there is obviously another problem and it aint working, lets move on and check out other things possibly their diet. I know if i let my kids have sodas and junk they are completely different kids. I want to punch myself in the face for letting them have it. Its my own fault.

Kids will test the limits and the best thing to do is stay consistent. I can honestly tell you in MY personal life i have some friends that are the "by the book" or "time out" method parents and I would rather get a freaking colonoscopy then have their kids over. I have heard my daughters friends YELL at their parents IN FRONT OF of me and they did NOTHING. I wanted to slap the **** out of the parent for not dealing with that. Um excuse me you scream at ME like that and you will be dealt with. I am the parent and my kids DO NOT run MY home. There are rules and being respectful to others is one of them. And in my extended family if one of our kids gets out of line, who ever is closest to that kid has permission to discipline our kids and vice versa.

I rarely got spanked as a kid. I didnt need it because i knew early on what my mom would and wouldnt put up with. With that said, I may or may not have gotten my mouth popped for running it to my mom before. I deserved EVERY SINGLE SMACK I GOT.

But what works in my home may not work in yours.

Again....every family is different, every child is different, every situation is different, and every BELIEF is different.

I personally feel that the generations keep getting more disrespectful and more out of control because of this PC "spanking your child with the back of your hand is abuse" mentality.

If parents out there are able to get their kids to behave without the use of punishment and spanking, more power to you.

But how dare anyone pass judgement on others who have chosen a different path.

Well I've never been afraid to jump into the middle of a heated argument.

I have the minority opinion that "passing judgment" is not the worst thing in the world or even necessarily a bad thing. Just because someone believes something doesn't give them a free pass. I can absolutely judge people and I see no problem with it. Example:

Some father spends most of his time drunk and collecting government assistance. The kids are poorly dressed and beaten on a regular basis. There's no emphasis on education, hygiene or anything resembling an emotionally stable household.

Is it wrong of me to judge him and say what he's doing to his kid's is awful? Of course not. We know that guy's a terrible father and poor excuse of a human being. I'm sure he himself would say, "What gives you the right to judge me?!" Well the fact that I take care of my child, work and don't spend my time in an alcoholic haze, that's what.

If you don't want others to judge you poorly I would suggest keeping your life in order as much as possible. Because like it or not we are all judged by others every moment of every day.

I find it really sad that some of the people talking about being "spanked" as children are using words like "whipped" "beat" "belt" "leather strap" etc...you weren't spanked, that is a beating and that is not right and sends the wrong message.

A spanking done correctly and explained and done sparingly can be effective.

Being "beat" or "hit" regularly is not and is abuse. BIG difference here.

Nope. I wasn't abused. I was spanked. With a belt, because my dad did it. My dad is very big man, who is really bad at judging his own strength. He spanked my sister ONCE with his hand, realized he had done it way too hard, so he used a belt. My dad is a great man and by no means an abuser, so don't judge before you know the situation, thanks

I wasn't talking about you so thank you very much.

I was "spanked:" with a belt too, these people are talking about being "whipped" and using very strong language when describing these "spankings" I am simply trying to point out the difference in being spanked and being whipped and beat.

You're welcome. And you were talking about me, because I had mentioned in my post that I was hit with a belt and hit with a switch. I'm just saying that you don't know the situation to every person, so to tell someone they were beat when, in fact, it would hurt less than spanking with the hand, is ridiculous.

As always there is a debate going on here at work…I love these people, how we get any work done is beyond me! Anywho, the question is, and this is for everyone, you don’t have to have kids to have an opinion:

Do you believe in spanking children, or do you think it teaches them that it’s ok to hit people and in turn makes them violent?

No kids and frankly, I go back and forth on the whole thing. I see arguments both ways and guess I won't know how I really think unless I have kids.

But, I was spanked as a child and it didn't make me violent or teach me it was ok to hit at all. That being said it was always a big deal to get spanked, it wasn't done on the fly. It was almost a ritual both proceeded and follow-uped with a "this is what you did, this why it was wrong, and there are consequences" type of speech.

Your parents did it right. Spanking is a temporary consequence for wrongdoing until a child is out into the world enough that real consequences set in. If done correctly, the child knows exactly why they were spanked, it stings but does not leave bruises and the child still knows they are loved.

Incidently, that "Spare the rod spoil the child" is a misquote from the Bible, it's "spare the rod, hate the child." I'm sure as many pages as there are on this topic, somone has already pointed that out, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Do you believe in spanking children, or do you think it teaches them that it’s ok to hit people and in turn makes them violent?

Within reason I do. If they spill milk or somethign stupid then no. When I think about people that are so anti-spanking and let's "talk" and negotiate about everything I look back at history and how things have changed so much. In general, kids seem to be pretty out of control and they have very little respect for anybody or anything. When I was a kid I spoke to my friends parents and other adults as Mr. so-and-so, Ms/Mrs. so-and-so. I would never dream cus at another adult or disrepsect them because I knew my dad would kick my butt. Plus, it seems that kids have a very big sense of entitlement anymore. They expect everything be given to them, expensive clothes, phones, cars, etc. I didn't want for anything as a kid but I damn sure appreciated everything I got because I earned it in one way or another. Additionally to the total lack of respect you have kids bringing weapons to school and hurting each other, killing each other, kids doing things that get them charged as adults. Sure we had gangs and stuff growing up but I kind of see that as a different issue than your regular suburban upper-middle class teenager coming in a popping other kids at random. It's just so different and I'm glad my step-son is almost out of high school; I feel for anybody that has younger kids.

There's a time to talk and negotiate and then there's a time where kids need to know who's boss and what they're going to do, how they're going to do it, and when they're going to do it and what are the consequences of not doing it. Most things should be earned in some manner be it grades, chores at home, attitude / respect, etc. We did family counseling with my other step-son and both counselors said basically we have to give kids love, basic food, basic clothing, and an education, past that everything is a bonus and should be earned.