Things people say when you lose weight
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@MySlimGoals
I have no hiking experience, but I walk a lot locally. I am walking one of the Camino de Santiago routes in April/May, and walk 4-5 miles every morning with my backpack loaded 3-5 pounds heavier than I plan to be carrying on the Camino. I’m trying to get my steps up to 20k+ a day, and plan to increase the closer to departure. It’s hard to find time, though, because I do other exercises two or three hours a day.
The lady who runs the trek suggested weights and squats (I already do those at a barbell gym), stair climber, and hiking several hours a day.
My local walking paths are only moderately hilly, however, there’s a national battle site about four miles away, on an odd blip of a mountain (there are no others for miles, hence it was coveted by both sides and fought for ferociously). It has a pretty steep trail that takes about 30-45 minutes to complete. I’m going to incorporate it, and try to build up to several climbs at a time. I’m thinking I can climb the forest trail, maybe take a run down the paved road and then do it over again.
Any advice appreciated if anyone wants to friend and PM me. Don’t want to derail the thread. It’s one of my favorites!7 -
Has anyone noticed (if you’re a girl) that men tend to mention your weight loss more than women?
Some men at my work mention my 15 lb weight loss but seriously NONE of the women at my work has said anything besides this one lady I don’t even work with. My husband tells me multiple times a day. I’m 5’1 and went from 120 lbs, down to 105 lbs in 2 months and still losing. Sounds like a lot but I’m losing in a healthy way. Not starving at all. Not too much exercise either. In the past, I’ve felt the most healthy and comfortable between 103-105lbs.
Comments I’ve received:
“Are you trying to be anorexic?”
“What does your husband think?”
And my favorite...
“You had nothing to lose to begin with.”
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My mother said "Hmm. I wonder what side of the family you got your sharp cheekbones from?"
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My coworkers have been consistently great and supportive the entire time and often say nice things, but it amuses me when I coworker I see less often has finally worked up the nerve to ask, "Have you lost weight?" because at this point I've lost 110 pounds and it's so absurdly obvious that breaking the ice by asking *IF* I've lost weight is just a hoot to me.
I've also gotten loads of unsolicited advice on HOW to lose weight, by restricting carbs, or this method or that method... even when I was already 50 and 60 pounds into it. Not sure why they feel it's necessary? I'm not taking any other weight loss applications at this time, thank you.
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Lately I've gotten high fives, "nice work," and "what are your doing to lose weight?" So I tell 'em... stay in a deficit, do strength training, move more, eat more veggies and protein. It's nice to have people noticing.11
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loveandlemons33 wrote: »Has anyone noticed (if you’re a girl) that men tend to mention your weight loss more than women?
Some men at my work mention my 15 lb weight loss but seriously NONE of the women at my work has said anything besides this one lady I don’t even work with. My husband tells me multiple times a day. I’m 5’1 and went from 120 lbs, down to 105 lbs in 2 months and still losing. Sounds like a lot but I’m losing in a healthy way. Not starving at all. Not too much exercise either. In the past, I’ve felt the most healthy and comfortable between 103-105lbs.
Comments I’ve received:
“Are you trying to be anorexic?”
“What does your husband think?”
And my favorite...
“You had nothing to lose to begin with.”loveandlemons33 wrote: »Has anyone noticed (if you’re a girl) that men tend to mention your weight loss more than women?
Some men at my work mention my 15 lb weight loss but seriously NONE of the women at my work has said anything besides this one lady I don’t even work with. My husband tells me multiple times a day. I’m 5’1 and went from 120 lbs, down to 105 lbs in 2 months and still losing. Sounds like a lot but I’m losing in a healthy way. Not starving at all. Not too much exercise either. In the past, I’ve felt the most healthy and comfortable between 103-105lbs.
Comments I’ve received:
“Are you trying to be anorexic?”
“What does your husband think?”
And my favorite...
“You had nothing to lose to begin with.”
I had the opposite experience; nearly everyone who mentioned my weight loss was a woman (I'm female). After a few months they get used to "the new you" and all the comments stop.4 -
"Goodness gracious. Time to stop."
I'm getting "concerned mom" comments about how it's "time to stop." Now including from my mom. I've literally *just* hit a normal bmi but want to get the the mid-range and add muscle.
The weirder question I get is "how painful was it to lose so much?" The answer being that it's taken discipline but I've never starved.13 -
The comments when losing are always good yet I still struggle to receive them without thinking about what they would have thought otherwise.9
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I'm dealing with the 'but you don't need to lose any weight' thing. Yes, I am in the healthy BMI range. No, you can't see my jiggle, but trust me, it's there and it gotsa go!13
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A coworker asked me how my diet was going right after I got done eating pizza and breadsticks, haha. Not sure if he was implying "you are eating pizza, are you off track" but it seemed that way in context. Little did he know that was probably the first day in a few days that I actually ate at a deficit, lol. He wouldn't have bat an eye if he saw what I was eating the days I ate over maintenance. My portions were just too big on those days, even though it was all "healthy" stuff. I can put down 800-1000 calories easy in fruit along with my normal meals over the course of the day if I don't watch it. Clementines, bananas, strawberries, apples etc. are so good and go down easy for me.25
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I've posted here before but have a few new ones:
A new friend told me I looked very fit, first time I've been told that!
My doctor said he wasn't worried about me because I was thin, never been told that either!
My Mom had previously said now that I hit goal I could start gaining weight as I was too thin. My parents recently went to Hawaii and brought me chocolate-covered macadamian candy. When I was hesitant she told me I could eat them now that I'm thin. Um, does it matter that we're all diabetic? I may be off my meds but I'd rather not go back to them.25 -
A couple of the nicer ones I've had recently are: "Bloody hell! You look ripped"; and "You've got a six pack. Where did that come from?" These were both from divers at my club whilst changing into my drysuit.
These are the comments I'd prefer, I hate being told I'm skinny or wasting away, I'd rather hear my workouts are giving me some serious muscles!8 -
I don't like "skinny mini" that phrase over the years really become nerve grating, "where's the rest of you", "you'll snap in half" ect ect....most of the time I can roll with it but "skinny mini" makes me red in the face.14
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They say I look much younger lol and if I had Botox or somethin Hahahaha
With my 25 yr old son ☺️ turning 54 this year41 -
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@seltzermint555 aww 🥰 thanks ❤️3
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trailrunner64 wrote: »If people ask you "are you losing weight on purpose" - it just show they want to be sensitive to your health. You could have a medical condition (i.e. cancer) that caused a dramatic weigh loss.
I have a different opinion. I lost my beloved husband to cancer. Several years later, I lost weight simply because I was overweight, wanted to be healthy, and wanted to fit in my clothes (the usual reasons people lose weight).
A neighbor who doesn't see me often asked your question, "Did you lose weight on purpose?" In other words, she wanted to know if I had cancer, too. I asked her if that's what she meant and she said yes.
Her comment opened up my husband's death and traumatized me for days. That question may seem sensitive to some people, but I find it intrustive, nosy, and jarring.
It's better to tell someone it's good to see you and leave their appearance alone if you aren't sure why they've changed.20 -
trailrunner64 wrote: »If people ask you "are you losing weight on purpose" - it just show they want to be sensitive to your health. You could have a medical condition (i.e. cancer) that caused a dramatic weigh loss.
I have a different opinion. I lost my beloved husband to cancer. Several years later, I lost weight simply because I was overweight, wanted to be healthy, and wanted to fit in my clothes (the usual reasons people lose weight).
A neighbor who doesn't see me often asked your question, "Did you lose weight on purpose?" In other words, she wanted to know if I had cancer, too. I asked her if that's what she meant and she said yes.
Her comment opened up my husband's death and traumatized me for days. That question may seem sensitive to some people, but I find it intrustive, nosy, and jarring.
It's better to tell someone it's good to see you and leave their appearance alone if you aren't sure why they've changed.
Sorry for your loss Hollis.🌹I agree with you.
There's this quote that helps me to let go of people's insensitive comments. Don't attribute malice for ignorance. Some people are thoughtless and low on the interpersonal intelligence/socially inept intending to express care and concern not realizing how they come across to the other person as offensive, hurtful, intrusive, imposing, etc.10 -
trailrunner64 wrote: »If people ask you "are you losing weight on purpose" - it just show they want to be sensitive to your health. You could have a medical condition (i.e. cancer) that caused a dramatic weigh loss.
I have a different opinion. I lost my beloved husband to cancer. Several years later, I lost weight simply because I was overweight, wanted to be healthy, and wanted to fit in my clothes (the usual reasons people lose weight).
A neighbor who doesn't see me often asked your question, "Did you lose weight on purpose?" In other words, she wanted to know if I had cancer, too. I asked her if that's what she meant and she said yes.
Her comment opened up my husband's death and traumatized me for days. That question may seem sensitive to some people, but I find it intrustive, nosy, and jarring.
It's better to tell someone it's good to see you and leave their appearance alone if you aren't sure why they've changed.
I have had a Dr. ask me that: If it was on purpose. Please don't be mad or upset, as it is a symptom of several diseases, including cancer.
I just told him...Well yea!
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@epangili Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comments
@1PoisonIvy A situation with a doctor is entirely different. The doctor is there to oversee my health. I would absolutely not be offended if a doctor asked me about weight loss, especially a major loss -- in fact, the doctor would be remiss not to bring it up.
The situation I described was NOT in a medical office -- a nosy neighbor stopped me while I was walking my dog and wanted to know if I had a serious disease. She's not even a friend, just nosy. It was extremely offensive.
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MsHarryWinston wrote: »@CMSC143 You look fabulous. I agree with the poster above, I thought you were your son's girlfriend!
Thank you all so much ❤️. I appreciate such compliments . I am really trying to maintain my weight because it benefits me a lot. Mainly, my health.. Keep safe and God bless us all. ❤️❤️❤️❤️6 -
Ok not say but do...
I was so flattered this morning...
I went to pick up my free birthday latte at Starbucks but wasn't ready yet so walked away. Behind me was a handsome tall young man with blue eyes at least 10 years younger than me, when I turned back around to check my order I caught him at a total frozen pause at the doorway threshold holding door open staring at me unabashedly with a huge smile even boldly did the slow once over body scan. I NEVER got that kind of attention when I was obese... I'm so motivated now to stay at my high school weight and keep my girlish figure...24 -
I am just shy of 2 months into this. I have lost 15 lbs (with 40 more to go). One person complimented me (which was nice) then listed off reasons why she can’t do it. She is busy, work, has a kid (I have 3), food budget, etc. I have the same barriers. I finally said “I understand, I am in a similar situation. I have had to find ways to make it happen.” She proceeded to tell me how much busier she is than I am. I gave excuses for years. I get where she is at. But I didn’t like that it implied that I had it easier because this has required a lot of work/focus. But I know it was more about her than me. Just had to complain for a second. Now I am done 🙂.30
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Many of us in my country, Nepal, are not very subtle about providing comments. One of the first comments I received when I lost about 10 kg weight was, "Do you have a medical problem? 15
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One time I got “okay now just focus on weights, you’ve lost enough” I also get “Dont look for healthier options of things you used to like that’s not the point of a diet” both game from family members who have not been on diets ever in their life. It was kind of a downer and whenever they see me eat a lot of chicken or have some hot chocolate they go “can you eat that??” Or “that’s a lot” and comments like that have honestly just been a fuel for me to keep going rather than a downer. I have gotten a few “you look good” which is nice. But it’s mostly been jealousy and drawback even from people closest to me.17
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Shoot, I lost 50 pounds already and haven't gotten a comment yet! Oh well, I guess that happens when you start at 435 pounds. Maybe just maybe, if I continue to persist, someday, someone will ask me if I'm sick
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Yes, DO continue to persist!!!tonygermano2 wrote: »Shoot, I lost 50 pounds already and haven't gotten a comment yet! Oh well, I guess that happens when you start at 435 pounds. Maybe just maybe, if I continue to persist, someday, someone will ask me if I'm sick When you start at higher weights, it generally does take at least 50 lbs before it's noticeable to others. That was true for me, anyway. I've also found that when you get to a point that you change out your too baggy clothes for smaller ones, it will become a lot more noticeable to others. 22
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