WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2020

My dad, a doctor, was a good role model to me for the most part, and he treated me well except for a period of a few weeks early in 1968 when he foolishly listened to untrue gossip in town that all the girls in my 8th grade class had loss their virginity. He went ballistic for awhile. It concerned him, as a doctor in our little town, whenever he had to do prenatal care on one of the town's teenagers. I suppose he was trying to figure out where he would send me for prenatal care if I became pregnant, because obviously it would be inappropriate for him to be my doctor, and he wouldn't have wanted his partner to do it, because he still might end up being on call for the delivery.

I didn't think of all of this at the time, of course, but as an adult I understand that he was driven by far more than having a pregnant teenage daughter, as one of only two doctors in a small town. (I would have had to drive at least 30 miles to another town for care.) After weeks of this nonsense, I (still a virgin), finally quit defending myself & my classmates, and told him he would simply have to decide who he was going to believe, and then self-righteously suggested that he do a pelvic exam on each of us to check to see if our hymens were intact. I was a bit of a smart-mouth. After awhile, when none of us turned up pregnant, he told me he had decided he believed me. He did not apologize, but it was okay, and life went on.

Later that spring, I was 8th-grade valedictorian, and I gave a very good speech that I wrote myself, and I think he was proud of me. It was hard to tell. I think he was a bit stunned by how womanly I looked that night. I know my mom was proud. Mom and I found a beautiful, pale green, very light-weight brocade dress, and she did my hair and make-up, and I looked spectacular. Very grown up. I got to wear slight high heels for the very first time, and some make-up, and I carried it off. I hate high heels and make-up now, but I felt amazing then. It was a very important rite of passage.

I did not lose my virginity until I was 17. Dad and I had a discussion about sex when I was 18, just before I married my high school sweetheart Rick (now ex-, and GrandPa to our 2 oldest grandchildren). It was very different from the ranting and raving of 4 years prior. It may seem an odd notion to discuss sex with your dad, especially to those whose fathers abused them, but it did not seem weird to me. Maybe a wee bit uncomfortable, but not enough to stop me from asking all kinds of questions. I was no longer a virgin, but not very experienced yet, and he was calm, factual, and forthcoming. He chose to be clinical with his answers, as if I were his patient, and it worked for me. Odd random fact: My dad delivered my ex-husband, who promptly peed in my dad's face.

We talked about lots of other things, too, through the years: school subjects (especially math and science), books, horses, 4-H, the Denver Stock Show, coronet- and baritone-playing, poverty, my allowance needs as a teenager ($5 a month wasn't cutting it any more), Handel's Messiah, Jazz, Souza Marches, and Opera, water skiing, my albino bunny rabbit's hutch, Siamese kitties, stray kitties, exercising, Santa Claus, and so much more. Not so much about college, careers, finance, cars and insurance, as he thought those topics were more appropriate for my brothers, and that my sister and I would marry some nice boy who would take care of that stuff.

Some other time I will tell you all about my teenage conversations with Dad about euthanasia and assisted suicide.