Things people say when you lose weight

nighthawk584 wrote: »

I haven't seen him since losing 95 lbs and don't plan on it unless by accident, but knowing him, he would have something very negative to say. Sometimes you just have to let people GO, family included. I do this for me this time, not anyone else and is a huge reason I think it will be forever now.

Ditto that.

My younger brother has extreme narcissism problems ... he has almost always ridiculed my battles with weight and found great mirth in passing negative comments at xmas & easter family gatherings.

One of my sisters and I (since we hated his nasty scrutiny) checked to see if he's RSVP-ed a 'yes' to an event ... then we planned an early exit or a completely alternate plan.

At 19 years of age my son was at a night-club in the city and was sure he'd seen his uncle enter a brothel across the road. To be sure, he waited out in the dark and confirmed it was, in fact, his uncle.

As his uncle (and the aunt he's married to) are pillars of church-assisted marriage guidance and a long term member of a quite extreme christian religion, my son was in extreme delight "having the goods" on him. He sought my counsel.

"Todd, keep it under your hat and choose to use it very judiciously," I told him. "Don't rush to tell on him to his wife or his church pastor but always be aware that EXPOSURE of his secret would be a huge social penalty."

Imagine the joy at a xmas lunch about four years later, when after some nasty chiding by my brother, my son finally reacted and said, "Uncle Paul, do you get some kind of cheap thrill playing god and telling us all our sins and mistakes? I have wished since I was 11 years old that I was not related to you."

"In fact, uncle Paul, a while back, I was out at THE CAVERN with some friends ... across the road from the brothel district and I saw a man who was your doppelgänger going into the BLACK CAT BROTHEL across the road and I thought how much I'd like to swap him for you. That man went in and out and, although he looked like you, he never insulted me like you do; he never made cheap shots at family members like you do. So why do you bother? Does playing god make you think your god likes you more."

It took Paul another few minutes but the penny dropped. Todd approached him quietly later and said. "I know about your grubby brothel secret and I have told Jerry, Katrina, dad and about a dozen of my friends that you have previously pissed off with your god-bothering 5h1t. So don't ever f**k with me again you hypocrite. The next person I tell will be my grandma ... your mother!"

Within a year, my brother packed up house and moved about 50km away. He rarely comes into our lives now. 13 years later, he's only come back to these two suburbs where the rest of his family lives and visits his mother (my mother) about 2pm-3pm once every six or seven weeks on a Thursday. No phone calls, no contact for the rest of us!

It has been quite lovely to not have to put with his negatives which we suffered for nigh on 40 years.

I really hate any kind of weight loss comment. Usually it's just a vehicle for people to share their biases and I hate that. In the past I used to feel pressure to be nice to someone saying something vacuous as "you look healthy or you look good" but not anymore.

Unless you are a close friend, and know about my fitness goals and how often I train (we train together maybe) or you specifically know about any kind of unhealthy habits/foods that I made changes to, then you're just guessing and I really don't care anymore about those comments.

A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.

One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.

I've heard the "I'm proud of you" comment from neighbors and acquaintances who have no need or right to take pride in anything I've done. BUT, , , I always assume it's a play on words. I presume they REALLY mean, "you should be proud of yourself" or just "you should be proud". That way I'm not so resentful.

Venus_1 wrote: »

papayahed wrote: »

A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.

One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.

You should try it one day. I mean you don’t want to disappoint them 😂

😂😂😂 this made me laugh.

What annoys me is when older ppl in the family ask me what I did to lose weight. The people who I KNOW wont plan to go to a gym or lift a weight because they dont want to “gain muscle”. The ones who eat like *kitten* or barely eat at all. The ones who barely cook at home.

Next time I will tell them it was magic.

Best:

Coworker takes me to one side "have you lost weight?"
"yeah"
"wow you look great, I just didn't want you to think I thought you needed to before by my asking!"

Worse:
"you don't really need to lose weight, you need to remember you're a lovely person on the inside" (said by an overweight friend)
"were you pregnant before?"

The worst comment I got was that I should lose more and that I still look fat to obese. At the time I was 140lb (I'm 5'6) and a size 8-10. That was very mean and it came from a close family member who was jealous and wanted to sabotage my weight loss. I'be also head of people who lost friends when they stopped being the fat friend. I know now you should just ignore them.

Losing weight in quarantine is weird because no one can see you and comment on it (for better or worse). I've lost 50 pounds since most people have seen me. I met up with one friend for a walk and she didn't say a single word, which made me think I must not look that different. A few days later, I saw another friend and she went on and on about how great I look and how hard I must be working. I have to admit, that felt amazing. I guess some people just don't want to say anything for fear of offending. But "you look great" can never be offensive, in my opinion!

1BlueAurora wrote: »

My favorite remark was from the produce man at my grocery store. He said he noticed I'd lost some weight and that I looked happy and light on my feet. I said something like, "thanks. I've got quite a ways to go.". He said, have you lost 10 or more? I said, "yeah, I've only lost 12." He marched over and picked up a ten pound bag of potatoes and pushed them at me to hold. I'm holding those potatoes and I must have looked like it had just dawned on me that I'd actually accomplished something . He's smiling this big grin and says, "don't forget how you feel right now. You're doing great."

Now... THAT is how to do it. That produce guy was one cool dude. Sounds like he's been there before, too.

1BlueAurora wrote: »

My favorite remark was from the produce man at my grocery store. He said he noticed I'd lost some weight and that I looked happy and light on my feet. I said something like, "thanks. I've got quite a ways to go.". He said, have you lost 10 or more? I said, "yeah, I've only lost 12." He marched over and picked up a ten pound bag of potatoes and pushed them at me to hold. I'm holding those potatoes and I must have looked like it had just dawned on me that I'd actually accomplished something . He's smiling this big grin and says, "don't forget how you feel right now. You're doing great."

This was SO awesome to read. Way to go, and keep going!

This got me thinking. A few months back, I put on an 8-pound SeaSoft SCUBA weight belt and went for a walk to see if I could tell the difference. I could. So today, I took a look at what SCUBA belts I had assembled. I had one with two 5-pound uncoated bricks, one with two 3-pound and two 2-pound coated bricks, and my SeaSoft 8-pound comfy belt. I put all three on. I almost added a two pound weight to make an even 30. Anyway, it was really weird wearing THREE SCUBA belts, but there ya go. I walked around. I could feel it in my knees. I used to carry that much more of ME wherever I went. I am SO glad that I shed 20% of my body weight and am at a healthy weigh now. I plan to stay this way.

Anyone is welcome to borrow my weight belts to do a similar experiment, and I'm happy to make them different weights just for fun. Pretty much cold water diving is 18 pounds for me these days, and that is also awesome since it used to take a lot more lead to get my adipose tissues off the surface.

I still don't know what NSV means, but Someone did say something to me the other day about it. They said, "that looks good on you."

Nice.

Oh man, I read all these comments and have gotten those!

When I was losing weight with my wedding as a goal, I got A LOT of unwelcome comments.

"If you turn sideways you'll be invisible!"
"Don't lose TOO much weight." (Don't put those impossible standards on me- you seem to be screwed if you do and screwed if you don't)

"You can stop now."
"Don't drink too much water."
"You should live a little." (Because I refused any more truck stop candy bars)

"Don't regain the weight" - from my ex-husband!

One person told me that they thought I was much prettier with more weight.
Another told me I was too fat (my aunt)

I can't wait to hear what the husband has to say this time. Last time he accused me of developing an eating disorder because I was counting out almonds. You know, portion control. I could sit down and eat a bag of almonds, but one serving size is 15 almonds.

My middle eastern dance instructor commented, "You'd look better in that costume if you lost another 15lbs." All said though, I appreciated her comment because it wasn't out of malice. Just a matter of fact statement.