The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@FeelinFooFoo, when it comes to consider signing up for a course you have to pay for, be sure to take into account what you would normally spend on booze. In my case, it really did even out. And now that I'm on Day 50, tomorrow, the financial savings just keep adding up.
Regarding AF drinks, someone on the Sober School Club site just recommended this company: https://curiouselixirs.com/ I am so glad to see that people are realizing we could be an important demographic. I look forward to trying some of these non-alcoholic adult beverages. We deserve more than ginger ale.7 -
@donimfp Good luck at work! You are such a loving soul to be working with those students; I have great empathy for them. They need someone like you to believe in them and teach them.
@FeelinFooFoo Been there, done that. I think as we ease into a sober life, we will have these stumbles and they actually help us learn we do not want to be a drinker. It always ends badly. I binge. There is no off switch either. That's the way we are wired. I have finally accepted that. No sense within away, the secret is to accept reality and I think many of us on here have. You are very wise in your comments and observations.
@no44s4me Thanks for your kind comments. We love hearing from you. I think it has finally clicked in me as well. It took about two painful years of trying to moderate and abstain, and this past few months, it has clicked. Why fight reality. It is what it is. Some people can drink and some cannot. I cannot.5 -
@donimfp I have had very good administrators over the last 25 years. I'm sure your BIL is one of the good ones! This particular few that are planning the Covid hybrid model is not like you're BIL.2
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I have two things to share: One is that I looked at my test results for my upcoming physical and saw several "flags" on the blood test results. Guess what the flags are for? THE LIVER! Four "flags" on liver/kidney related issues. I will discuss this with the doctor this Wed. I think that is what it means to be scared straight. OMG I was shocked but not shocked.
The hike with my cousin went well. We talked very frankly about our drinking. I used me as an example. He said I feel like that; that has happened to me. I said quite honestly every bad decision I ever made was while drinking. He agreed. I don't think I made a serious impact in him, because it's his journey and decision. But at least I tried to help and will continue to help. At lunch, I had club soda and he had a Truly. He said Truly drinks are like not drinking alcohol. I guess he means this because he usually drinks two bottles of wine a night.....7 -
Looking for new friends to help motivate and support each other. I have been sober for 28 days. Looking to change my life and my habits. Thank you.8
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@no44s4me Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate every contribution made on this forum. It truly takes a village.
@Mackman99 Welcome to our little non judgmental and supportive family.
Im on day 11 of the alcohol experiment again. Truly a terrifying PSA was on there today.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/video/2017/apr/20/graphic-anti-drinking-ad-shows-how-alcohol-causes-cancer-video
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@jent304 I like this article! Very motivating. It doesn't help at all, one bit, to drink.. the first 30 min. is good.
But the repercussions are so not worth it. Thanks for sharing!3 -
Good morning. This comment was on The Alcohol Experiment website today. Does this resonate with anyone else?
In today's Q&A I wrote this and wanted to share: "Alcohol had me in a death grip. Alcohol lied to me. Alcohol made me sick and tired and depressed. Alcohol made me afraid. Alcohol CAUSED my fear. Alcohol made my face puffy and my eyes red. Alcohol made me weak and fearful. Alcohol made me belligerent and unkind. Alcohol made me "needy" and insecure. Alcohol gave me headaches and nausea. Alcohol made me shaky and scared and tired and lonely. Alcohol isolated me. Alcohol wanted to ruin my relationships. Alcohol wanted me to doubt myself and feel small." Alcohol never GAVE me anything, it only stole from me and lied to me. NOT ANYMORE. I now take a stand. I will be 50 years old this October and enough is enough.6 -
Good morning. This comment was on The Alcohol Experiment website today. Does this resonate with anyone else?
In today's Q&A I wrote this and wanted to share: "Alcohol had me in a death grip. Alcohol lied to me. Alcohol made me sick and tired and depressed. Alcohol made me afraid. Alcohol CAUSED my fear. Alcohol made my face puffy and my eyes red. Alcohol made me weak and fearful. Alcohol made me belligerent and unkind. Alcohol made me "needy" and insecure. Alcohol gave me headaches and nausea. Alcohol made me shaky and scared and tired and lonely. Alcohol isolated me. Alcohol wanted to ruin my relationships. Alcohol wanted me to doubt myself and feel small." Alcohol never GAVE me anything, it only stole from me and lied to me. NOT ANYMORE. I now take a stand. I will be 50 years old this October and enough is enough.
Wow! Yes yes yes!2 -
@FeelinFooFoo, obviously this holiday is leading to a lot of introspection and some trepidation, which is totally understandable! It seems from your posts that your bottom line deep down desire is not to drink. Could you maybe look at the holiday as a grand adventure? You are a pioneer experiencing all kinds of things by virtue of remaining alcohol free. I’m guessing way more positives than negatives. Maybe you can journal throughout the trip and report your discoveries back to all of us who are still largely sheltered. You can be an explorer. Maybe recording “data” would help even the tough times be matters of observation and interest. Just a thought.5
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Hello all, @FeelinFooFoo have a wonderful trip I'm so jealous! Haven't been on much just cuz I'm so overwhelmed with everything! After having time off work I'm having a hard time even driving into the parking lot, unbelievable dread and anxiety kicks in yet there's not really anything else going on, I know I should be grateful I'm even working but I just feel like I've been there too long, all this election stuff is overwhelming, covid crap is overwhelming grrrr, haven't been drinking so that's good as I know it would only magnify the situation and make me feel worse! The list RubyRed posted is exactly what I'd be feeling, the alcohol making me needy, I remember being so drunk I'd have to depend on someone else to watch the g-babies, I'd have to depend on someone else to do important errands, someone else to cook dinner, grrrrr! I absolutely don't want to be in that situation, excellent points were brought up when I read back-thank you💗 6:58 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a wonderful AF day!5
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@FeelinFooFoo, glad the idea appeals to you. Obviously there’s no “one size fits all” approach but I thought I’d share what I think my own best strategy would be.
@whitpauly, the combination we’ve been dealt in 2020 really is almost overwhelming. You’re so right that drinking would only make things worse but temporary numbness can be tempting. Sorry about the job stress on top of it all. Hopefully this means something better is bubbling and getting ready for you. Hang in there! You’re an inspiration. I frequently say to myself, “As whitpauly says, Another 24!”4 -
Tuesday is my 6 month AF anniversary
I just woke up from a dream where I was drinking and Angry Orchard cider. I remember looking thru the amber as I was turning up and tasting the crisp apple flavor.
In the dream I was so angry with myself missing my 6 month goal.
The drinkin dreams have slowed, but they are still around.
Sorry for being MIA lately. Hope everyone is well!!!5 -
Congratulations, @Beka 3695! That is huge! My 6 month AF anniversary will be Jan. 6--Epiphany. RIght now I'm looking forward to the big 100 on Oct. 13. I know counting milestones doesn't appeal to some people, but it does help me. And how else am I going to justify the rewards? (I have my eye on a very pretty silver James Avery ring for 6 months). Day 56 for me today. That's 8 weeks--so 2 weeks post-6-wk-Sober School course.
I've only had one drinking dream so far, during an afternoon nap. It really depressed me for a few hours after I woke up until I could shake it off. That's a weird thing our psyche does.
I'll bet you're feeling great at 6 months. I hope you do something fabulous to celebrate. Again, congratulations!!5 -
I missed a lot of your posts. I've been busy with work. @FeelinFooFoo I understand everything you wrote and can relate.
I love the whole idea of holding a drink and even the first few drinks and then the aftermath is a disaster. At the very least, the next day I feel tired, lethargic, flat, anxious... and so on.
I went on a weekend getaway with my girlfriends and around noon the drinking started at the pool bar, and then it continued all evening. I did drink two glasses of wine, but even that amount made me feel badly the next morning- it was a waste, and I didn't sleep well because of it. And it makes me want more the next few days.
But wow- all around the pool (it was like a resort/pool bar/happy music) there were tons of young people drinking and dancing, standing close together... I guess Covid doesn't exist when you're on vacation?????
I felt so uncomfortable being around these people and my friends who were partying along with the young Crowd. I sat in the lounge chair most of the time reading, but I felt like I was a dud. I felt I was missing out on the fun. But I really can't drink. I have the perfect deterrent .... higher liver test results from my last blood test. When my health is at stake, it is a great motivator for me, that's for sure.
@Beka3695 Congrats to you!!!! Awesome job- I need to rack up days like that.
@whitpauly I am feeing anxious to work as well. In my school, one teacher got covid the second week we were there, and it was all hush hush which I thought was disgusting for the admin to keep it private. I am thinking that I'll probably get covid once the students start coming, and I am scared of getting it. With lots of students and staff in the building, how can we not get sick? I feel like it's a powder keg.
Good thinking though is my doctor wrote a note that I need a plastic shield (portable) so I can put it between me and the students when we are working in small groups. I also ordered a plastic shield for my face along with the mask would protect me as well. My doctor says have the kids wash their hands a lot. The students will wear masks as well. So, maybe I should try to stay positive and say "we will not get covid."
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@RubyRed427, your concerns are totally legit. It seems immoral if not illegal for your admin. not to keep you informed. I know HIPPA means not revealing identities but at my school we’ve been told it’s mandatory that any positives be reported to us, the county, and the state. Also, we’ve all been issued masks and face shields, and our students don’t even leave the facility since they’re locked up. I hope you have a good union. That’s one thing we do not have in Texas.
Hoping for health and safety for you.
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@RubyRed427, your concerns are totally legit. It seems immoral if not illegal for your admin. not to keep you informed. I know HIPPA means not revealing identities but at my school we’ve been told it’s mandatory that any positives be reported to us, the county, and the state. Also, we’ve all been issued masks and face shields, and our students don’t even leave the facility since they’re locked up. I hope you have a good union. That’s one thing we do not have in Texas.
Hoping for health and safety for you.
We usually have a decent union representation, but the superintendent has cancelled meetings with the union president a few times. I do know they reported our teacher's positive test to the country board of health BUT the board didn't have any of us quarantine or even stay home for a day. The same week at a different elementary in my district, one teacher tested positive and the next day all staff were told to stay home so they can clean the building. It is a mess really- this whole thing. One other thing was the teacher took her temp in the morning before coming to school and by 1:00 pm she had a sudden onset of fever of 101 degrees.
I just bought the face shields on amazon, so I will be ok I think. I'm happy you are doing well teaching your students. I wish you good health too!
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Hi Everyone. I'm back from 3 days of visiting my sister in upstate NY. Upon arrival she immediately offered me a glass of sangria which is my favorite. I just said no thanks, I'll have a seltzer. After she kept asking me if I wanted wine etc. I told her I was doing a 30 day challenge and she dropped it. A couple times I felt tempted but I just pushed through it and reminded myself how crappy I feel about everything (myself, my sleep, my skin) associated with alcohol when I imbibe. I think it has finally sunk in that there is no such thing as moderation for me. Like FFF said a few comments back, I drink to feel drunk, or something to that effect. Anyway it's kind of a relief to realize this and it's helping me stay the course. We had nice and memorable (meaning I can actually remember it all) visit. Have a healthy happy week, my Friends.
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Today's thought on the Alcohol Experiment: "The strongest trees grow in the strongest winds, not in the best soil." I love this. We grow through adversity and everyone here has been through some adversity or we wouldn't have wound up on this thread. Every human life faces challenges. It is how we rise up to meet them that matters. I am done numbing away the bad things because it also numbs away the beautiful. It is not a sacrifice I am willing to make anymore.7
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Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.12 -
Congratulations on six months! What a great milestone.
My oldest friend and ex drinking buddy just made the two year mark on sobriety. If he can do it, anyone can.7 -
Well done, @JenT304. In the Sober School course I just finished on August 16, Kate Bee does not ask participants to commit to not drinking long term but does ask them to quit for the 6 weeks of the course in order to experience sobriety for a significant period of time. The last week of the course, she asked about our future goals or plans. Mine personally is to reach Day 100, which will be Oct. 13. She said that of course we were welcome to decide the 6 weeks was over and we were going back to drinking. She only asked that we realize we would be doing just that--going back to where we were before the course. Not to some ideal world of moderation. She said that in the years she's been doing the course, she has never once met anyone who said they did it and then went on to a happy, healthy moderation lifestyle, and those she knows who are also in the sobriety "business" have said the same. Now, obviously these are people who have shelled out big bucks for her course, so in other words people who realized their drinking was a problem. It's this group that she says cannot expect to moderate successfully.
I hate that truth, but I believe it is in fact truth. I've done enough 30 and 45 days AF and then thought I could moderate to know that it definitely does not work for me. It's interesting that she claims not one person in her experience has gone from problem drinker to happily moderating drinker. It always becomes a problem again. I wish it were not so, but I believe it is. I do not identify myself as an "alcoholic." However, I know that I can't moderate. And even trying to do it--attempting to limit myself to x number of drinks on x days or whatever--takes up way too much mental real estate and seems to do nothing but repeat the hard part of sobriety (the beginning days) on an endless loop. No thank you.10 -
Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.
It's my sixth month, too!!! Yay, us! I was just tired of the headaches in the morning for only a few minutes of pleasure. It had diminishing returns all around. I am just done, and it feels great. I've only just started logging my food and exercising about 2 weeks ago, and I've lost 8 lbs so far. I give sobriety a bit of credit.
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Hooray for both of you! Have a big celebration. You deserve it!!!!5
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@donimfp Thank you so much for the encouragement. I totally agree that trying to figure out when to drink, how much to drink, worrying about moderation etc DOES take up way too much real estate in our minds. OMG it is so much easier not to think about it at all! I know I would rather have none than one so that is the way it is going to be. None. Tomorrow is day 20 of TAE and I am not saying never but I am going to keep adding in as little as 3-5 days so it feels manageable once the 30 is up. Tonight my husband looked in fridge and said, "I thought I had one more beer in here from last night. Did you drink it?" I was like what the *&^%!" Of course I didn't drink it! I told you I was doing this challenge come Hell or high water and I am really insulted that you assume I took your G-D D-MNED beer!" Anyway he found the 3rd bottle in the trash and apologized profusely. I said, "you didn't even remember drinking it so I guess you don't recall enjoying it either." I was really irritated and that was the first time I snapped at him during this challenge. Usually my mood is steady now. BUT I was offended that he didn't believe in me enough to think I could finish the challenge without drinking at all. Well now he knows.8
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Well done, @JenT304. In the Sober School course I just finished on August 16, Kate Bee does not ask participants to commit to not drinking long term but does ask them to quit for the 6 weeks of the course in order to experience sobriety for a significant period of time. The last week of the course, she asked about our future goals or plans. Mine personally is to reach Day 100, which will be Oct. 13. She said that of course we were welcome to decide the 6 weeks was over and we were going back to drinking. She only asked that we realize we would be doing just that--going back to where we were before the course. Not to some ideal world of moderation. She said that in the years she's been doing the course, she has never once met anyone who said they did it and then went on to a happy, healthy moderation lifestyle, and those she knows who are also in the sobriety "business" have said the same. Now, obviously these are people who have shelled out big bucks for her course, so in other words people who realized their drinking was a problem. It's this group that she says cannot expect to moderate successfully.
I hate that truth, but I believe it is in fact truth. I've done enough 30 and 45 days AF and then thought I could moderate to know that it definitely does not work for me. It's interesting that she claims not one person in her experience has gone from problem drinker to happily moderating drinker. It always becomes a problem again. I wish it were not so, but I believe it is. I do not identify myself as an "alcoholic." However, I know that I can't moderate. And even trying to do it--attempting to limit myself to x number of drinks on x days or whatever--takes up way too much mental real estate and seems to do nothing but repeat the hard part of sobriety (the beginning days) on an endless loop. No thank you.
INTERESTING Post...I firmly believe that there is no moderation for moi EVER...and I don't identify as an alcoholic either, BUT I do know I have a problem moderating alcohol and I have an addictive personality and that is all the identification I need to stay with my AF lifestyle.4 -
@lorrainequiche59 You are a big source of inspiration for me personally. I am so proud of you for having 2 plus years under your belt. Like you, it has finally sunk in there is no moderation for me. Even if I could, why would I want to put ANY poison in my body? Did I want to moderate with cigarettes? No, I wanted to quit because even a little smoking is detrimental to my health. I have come to look at alcohol the same way.5
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