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Height-ism?
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FutureFit2020 wrote: »"some men like dating taller women."
Oh well in that case....
Right??? Because my selection criteria is all about what they want.2 -
kshama2001 wrote: »_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.
I had a male friend tell me I'd have better luck if I "dumbed it down"
One guy asked me about my interests (which include home renovation projects). He told me I'm too independent and need to learn how to lean on a man, because men like to feel needed. Okay, then...10 -
_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.
I had a male friend tell me I'd have better luck if I "dumbed it down"
One guy asked me about my interests (which include home renovation projects). He told me I'm too independent and need to learn how to lean on a man, because men like to feel needed. Okay, then...
Feel free to come do all the home renovations at my house you would like. As far as $, I'm completely ok with being a domestic Dave....😉5 -
_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.
It's been 17 years since I was on an online dating site, but I do clearly recall one winner who asked me if I could rehome my cats because he didn't like cats. We. Had. Not. Even. Met.13 -
i find this thread fascinating.
I am married to a man who is not very tall - probably about 5ft 6. I am just under 5ft 4 so this is obviously still taller than me. have never been a high heels wearer so that didnt affect anything.
Met in real life so irelevant to thread I guess.....4 -
Mouse_Potato wrote: »_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.
It's been 17 years since I was on an online dating site, but I do clearly recall one winner who asked me if I could rehome my cats because he didn't like cats. We. Had. Not. Even. Met.
Ugh.
I had a guy ask me to move in with him, but tell me I'd have to get rid of my dog.
Um. I have my own place. You have two male messy roommates in an already too small house. Why in the world do you think I'd want to move in with you in the first place AND THEN get rid of a dog I'd had for eight years and I'd only known you for four months?????10 -
kshama2001 wrote: »If it really bothers you: women are terrible at evaluating a dude's height IRL. Just saying...
Someone should compare the distribution of male height on dating apps with that of the general male population.
That's because men are lying, not because woman are terrible at evaluating men's heights.
I've done a lot of online dating and think I only met two men who didn't lie about their heights, and one of the liars was 6'3" and lied about being 6'4"! (My ex was 6'4" and I knew what standing next to someone that height was like.)
OK Cupid did the comparison:
https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2
Not sure I would really call someone 6 ft 3 who said they were 6 ft 4 a liar - maybe he just rounded it up to next inch
I know I am just over 5 ft 3 and half - I usually just say I am 5 ft 4 - didnt think that was dishonest.
seems in the realm of saying I went to bed at 10 pm when I really went to bed at 9:55.
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I've never sorted on height, although too many inches down or up from me is uncomfortable. (I like both genders, and a lot of women are shorter than me and a lot of men around here are taller than me.) What's more important to me is intelligence, a good sense of humor, a quick wit and congruencies in political outlook (my son is gay, I'm not dating a homophobe), religion or tolerance thereof, and allergies to pets, as well as having compatible kinks. My dominance is not merely in the bedroom, and I require partners who want to have me control their lives all the time. Otherwise it gets pretty uncomfortable for both of us. Also, some consideration of games within kink matter; I find rope boring as a top, and so if their idea of a fun kinky night involves being tied up, count me out. Not my thing.
And at the moment I have two partners, of seven and five years relationship duration, one male, one female, and we all live together very happily with two cats. We also have a varied and colorful bouquet of mental health issues, but we three manage them together.2 -
paperpudding wrote: »i find this thread fascinating.
I am married to a man who is not very tall - probably about 5ft 6. I am just under 5ft 4 so this is obviously still taller than me. have never been a high heels wearer so that didnt affect anything.
Met in real life so irelevant to thread I guess.....
Good. Glad I'm not the only one who finds it fascinatingly different.2 -
Huh... I have issues finding women that meet my criteria for a potential partner. It's not looks really. Height really isn't an issue. Not really into "little" people 4'8" and under or women over 6'6" or so.0
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Maybe some of these women are tall and are self-conscious about their height and thus only want someone taller than them. Or maybe some of them are tall and already dated shorter men who were intimidated by her being taller. Maybe she wants no drama based on HER height.3
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Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.6 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.
You forgot about praying mantises...😬
**edit** going to have to mention pair bonding vs tournament mating. In pair bonding, the female is looking for the best provider with decent genetics. In tournament species, it's all about genetics. That is why we generally see a greater size disparity between males and females of the same species. Humans are a strange mix. We tend to be mostly pair bonding with some residual tournamental tendencies.3 -
psychod787 wrote: »stevehenderson776 wrote: »Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.
You forgot about praying mantises...😬
I've had plenty of women bite my head off.4 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »stevehenderson776 wrote: »Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.
You forgot about praying mantises...😬
I've had plenty of women bite my head off.
Talk about sex to die for... 😅1 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.
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stevehenderson776 wrote: »Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.
Google "bower bird nest". The males build a beautiful nest fill it with pretty things and keep it really tidy to lure the lady birds.
It's a bit more effort than shaking your tail feather but just might help.
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141119-the-barmy-courtship-of-bowerbirds
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stevehenderson776 wrote: »(...) Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
Humans have that too, actually. It's called dancing.
*Busts out his one wicked dance move that consists of moving his shoulders back and forth just slightly out of sync with the music so that, over time, it becomes completely random.*4 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.
So true. Just swipe past all those folks.
I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?
Not in the age of COVID.
And even before COVID, I live in rural Appalachia. Single women my age are generally pillbillies, Pentecostal, or otherwise tragic in some way.
Surprised with this outlook you don't have women beating down your door to date you.
Maybe it wasn't clear, but I'm referring to single women around my age in my rural area. So it's not really an outlook so much as an observation.
Wonder what the single women in your area think about the single guys?
I'm a single woman in rural Appalachia and while I love my home and live here because its where I want to be, the sad truth is that with as poor as the region is and as bad a shape as the economy is, a huge subset of the population are drug addicts/alcoholics, etc. Often the good ones have to leave the area to find decent work, and with it being rural, there are few to no opportunities or places to go to meet someone, ESPECIALLY when you are older than 25. The good ones get snapped up very quickly and is very much a case of "all the good ones are gone."cmriverside wrote: »I mean, how have you not been on a date at age 41?????
That's you, my friend, not the Pentecostals.nitalieben wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.
So true. Just swipe past all those folks.
I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?
Not if they're a socially awkward, friendless introvert who doesn't go to parties (Oh, hey, that's me!)
I'm 40 and have never been on a date; I'm 40 and have never even been ASKED on a date. But I wasted my youth being very obese, too. And I am an introverted person who doesn't like crowds or the party scene (even if I knew of parties to go to); I prefer smaller groups and one on one interaction. I can carry a conversation just fine and am friendly but that just means I have a lot of acquaintances and a few close friendships and I've only ever had one person ever ask to set me up with someone (and that didn't lead to anything - not even a phone call).
But I've come to realize that I am that socially awkward person and that my interests and outlook on life is apparently very much out of step with the norm, so I have no idea where one is supposed to go to find others with my similar outlook. Online dating has proven fruitless and I don't know where one goes to mingle with singles in my area; everyone I know are single by choice or already have someone and don't know of anyone that is "looking"
So I'm just coming to grips with the idea that whether I want it or not, singleness is my future.
At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.
I had a male friend tell me I'd have better luck if I "dumbed it down"
One guy asked me about my interests (which include home renovation projects). He told me I'm too independent and need to learn how to lean on a man, because men like to feel needed. Okay, then...
My brother actually told me this, too. When I asked him for a guy's opinion on what a guy sees when they look at me, he told me I was too independent and could do everything and didn't need a man and men wanted to be needed.
Yeah.....
Course I also told him that I did "everything" (including home renovation projects and minor vehicle repairs, travel out of state wherever I wanted alone, yard work, etc) because it had to be done and someone had to do it, and that I'd love to have someone come along who'd offer to help me out. Besides, I"m not interested in being treated like the "little woman"; I want a partner not a slave or a doormat, nor do I care to be a slave or a doormat.13 -
@bmeadows380
It sounds like a really good real-life filter for dick heads.
The kind of man that wants to be with a woman who is so reliant on him that she can't do anything for herself is not partner material. He's probably a controlling creep.
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