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Height-ism?

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  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......


    really derailing now - but have you considered she may have post natal depression?

    @paperpudding

    I would think that truly, especially since they had 2 kids within 14 months not to mention the crazy family she comes from, but this was also going on long before she ever got pregnant. They were married for 6 years before their daughter was born, and she was like that the whole time.

    And even if she's struggling now with post partum making things even more difficult, that is definitely absolutely no excuse for getting completely drunk more than once while you are home responsible for a 3 month old and a 15 month old while your husband is at work, which has happened several times lately. That's the part that scares me - she doesn't want to get help; she just wants my brother to do it all and gets upset when he can't make her life perfect, so she's taken to self-medicating with alcohol.
  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Women can't measure anymore. They have been told 5 inches is actually 7..lol
    psychod787 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉

    @psychod787

    now that's sounding like Prince Charming to me. Tell me you clean up after yourself and aren't intimated by a woman using a drill and a reciprocating saw or swinging a splitting mall and running a chainsaw and you might just be deemed the man of my dreams lol

    Lol.... as far taking care of myself, employed and can do all his own domestic duties. Intimated by women.. I'm an Male nurse, have been working with women for 15 years. As far as women who run power tools? My mother is the one who taught be to run an chainsaw and shoot as my father was far too busy. The only thing that might intimidate me is your upper body strength being greater than mine. Swinging a monster maul is one hell of an arm workout...

    @psychod787

    nope, my upper body strength is nothing spectacular; I only swing that maul during the fall when the parents are getting their winter wood in.

    *sigh* you could be the man of my dreams. Tell me you'll tolerate my 5 cats and I'm yours :tongue:

    And for the record, I am neither a pillbilly nor a Pentacostal though I live in rural Appalachia. I'm Baptist. There's a difference :lol:

    Born and raised southern Baptist ma'am. Cats? Oh... as long as they know to stay off my kitchen counter and dinner table. Makes me cringe thinking about an animal that poops, steps in it, and then wants to walk where I eat/ cook....

    @psychod787

    Well, they stay off the counters, but I do have to keep a table cloth on the dining room table, and make sure to sanitize it every time I use it - will that be adequate?

    I think that's doable. 😅
  • paperpuddingpaperpudding Member Posts: 6,208 Member Member Posts: 6,208 Member
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......


    really derailing now - but have you considered she may have post natal depression?

    @paperpudding

    I would think that truly, especially since they had 2 kids within 14 months not to mention the crazy family she comes from, but this was also going on long before she ever got pregnant. They were married for 6 years before their daughter was born, and she was like that the whole time.

    And even if she's struggling now with post partum making things even more difficult, that is definitely absolutely no excuse for getting completely drunk more than once while you are home responsible for a 3 month old and a 15 month old while your husband is at work, which has happened several times lately. That's the part that scares me - she doesn't want to get help; she just wants my brother to do it all and gets upset when he can't make her life perfect, so she's taken to self-medicating with alcohol.


    drinking is a new twist, that didnt get mentioned before :*


    anyway everyone's relationship dynamics are their own thing, I guess - and we are obviously only hearing one second hand version of the situation.

  • FutureFit2020FutureFit2020 Member Posts: 120 Member Member Posts: 120 Member
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    I'm going to de-rail my own thread just a bit to point out something else I've seen through the lens of online dating: Most profile I read have pretty strictly gender-normative expectations of men. Even women who loudly and proudly proclaim they're not a "girly girl" do imply that their partner should be a "manly man." It's interesting how women get some degree of freedom in that regard that men largely don't.

    Me, I listen to Tori Amos, read classical literature, and have 3 cats as roommates. I'm perfectly comfortable in my "girly man" skin, but at the same time, it's not really "accepted" in broader society. People who meet me in person are often surprised to discover I'm not gay. This bothered me 20 years ago, but I've thankfully gotten wiser since then.

    On the other hand, being a tomboy or, as Gillian Flynn calls her, a "cool girl," is not only accepted -- it's attractive. Think of the girl who can chug beer and enjoys watching sports. "One of the guys," etc.

    I wonder what the sociological roots of this phenomenon are.

    Things that are perceived as feminine are lesser in a society that has traditionally put men at the top of the food chain so a girl acting like a boy will always be perceived as a good thing because it's seen as inspirational behaviour.

    I think it's interesting that you think listening to a woman sing is "girly". It's music. Classical literature was largely written by men for men and cats? They come in either sex. I don't see how they are girly either. My husband was a bit of a music snob when I met him and listened to male and female musicians and I'd have thought it was really weird if didn't listen to women too. Good music is good music.


    Additionally, it's only fairly recently that average Joe has been trying to break gender boundaries (70s, 80s?) and move into traditionally women's domains. Women have been doing the opposite for far longer. Suffragettes were wearing pants 150 years ago to the point that it is largely normalised. Pushing to get into male only universities, and jobs like medicine and law.

    How long have men been trying to wear makeup, dresses and get into midwifery or nannying?

    It will take some time but will require men to actually do those things to normalise them. The first women wearing pants would have struggled to find relationships with men who weren't horrified too.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......


    really derailing now - but have you considered she may have post natal depression?

    @paperpudding

    I would think that truly, especially since they had 2 kids within 14 months not to mention the crazy family she comes from, but this was also going on long before she ever got pregnant. They were married for 6 years before their daughter was born, and she was like that the whole time.

    And even if she's struggling now with post partum making things even more difficult, that is definitely absolutely no excuse for getting completely drunk more than once while you are home responsible for a 3 month old and a 15 month old while your husband is at work, which has happened several times lately. That's the part that scares me - she doesn't want to get help; she just wants my brother to do it all and gets upset when he can't make her life perfect, so she's taken to self-medicating with alcohol.


    drinking is a new twist, that didnt get mentioned before :*


    anyway everyone's relationship dynamics are their own thing, I guess - and we are obviously only hearing one second hand version of the situation.

    *shrugs* well, you asked, and all I have to offer is my one second hand version.


    psychod787 wrote: »

    I think that's doable. 😅

    Besides, in my family, its not the cats you have to worry about - its my dad and sister lol
  • Mellouk89Mellouk89 Member Posts: 158 Member Member Posts: 158 Member
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    I am 6'1". Most of my relationships have been with men shorter than me. (Why? because apparently they like women a foot shorter than them lol)

    In MANY cases, the person I dated claimed not to be bothered by me being 3, 4, 5" taller than them.. but I couldn't wear heels because then it'd be 6, 7, 8" and that bothered them. Sometimes they told me outright, other times I overheard them bitching to their friends, other times it became clear that my choice of apparell was not desireable. "hey, why don't you wear these ones instead?"

    In many cases I grew to feel like a freak, a monster. And it effing hurt.
    Also, being as tall as I am, there are times when I just want to feel protected and envelopped by my man's arms. When I overshadow them (and maybe even lift heavier than them), I have a hard time feeling that way. Is that a flaw on my side, maybe. It's hard to feel girly and feminine when you overpower your man.

    So when I tried dating website earlier this year, I said that I am effing tall (6'1) and like to wear heels (3") sometimes, and would prefer someone as tall as me. Was it shallow, maybe, but I am so TIRED of being hurt and rejected EVENTUALLY because of something I cannot control. I had someone message me and got very angry at me for saying that. Yet, I am sure that many other men clicked off my profile when they saw how tall *I* was.

    BMI you can gauge based on many profile pics. Breast size you can gauge. Height you cannot. Trust me, I tried. (Where does his head sit in relation to the door frame? How low is his phone?)

    As for the dating thing.. I quit after a very short time. Too many creeps and too much hassle. I'd rather be single than deal with that bs right now.

    You're rejected the same way short men are rejected for something they can't control.

    Also i'm curious how much you lift, either you are unusually strong or the men are really weak.

    Nothing special. At my best I Squat 200, deadlifted 325. Bench sucked.

    It is what it is, I guess. Unless someone falls in my lap, I'm going to be alone for a while. I'm so done with the whole dating / relationship thing.

    I would say that is quite impressive compared to what I see on a regular basis in the gym. I'm talking for the female lifters.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......


    really derailing now - but have you considered she may have post natal depression?

    @paperpudding

    I would think that truly, especially since they had 2 kids within 14 months not to mention the crazy family she comes from, but this was also going on long before she ever got pregnant. They were married for 6 years before their daughter was born, and she was like that the whole time.

    And even if she's struggling now with post partum making things even more difficult, that is definitely absolutely no excuse for getting completely drunk more than once while you are home responsible for a 3 month old and a 15 month old while your husband is at work, which has happened several times lately. That's the part that scares me - she doesn't want to get help; she just wants my brother to do it all and gets upset when he can't make her life perfect, so she's taken to self-medicating with alcohol.


    drinking is a new twist, that didnt get mentioned before :*


    anyway everyone's relationship dynamics are their own thing, I guess - and we are obviously only hearing one second hand version of the situation.

    *shrugs* well, you asked, and all I have to offer is my one second hand version.


    psychod787 wrote: »

    I think that's doable. 😅

    Besides, in my family, its not the cats you have to worry about - its my dad and sister lol

    Did I mention I ama prison nurse. So, not worried about family... I can handle almost anything....

    now see? Now I'm thinking there's gotta be a catch - you're sounding too good to be true lol :tongue:
  • Mazintrov13Mazintrov13 Member Posts: 104 Member Member Posts: 104 Member
    Height is important to me in terms of attraction, I find if a guy is tall I’m more likely to be attracted to them and actually find its more important than if he’s conventionally attractive. If I was single I would prefer to date taller men but I would NOT put it on a dating profile and it would not be a deal breaker either
  • TonyB0588TonyB0588 Member Posts: 9,454 Member Member Posts: 9,454 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
    Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.

    You forgot about praying mantises...😬

    **edit** going to have to mention pair bonding vs tournament mating. In pair bonding, the female is looking for the best provider with decent genetics. In tournament species, it's all about genetics. That is why we generally see a greater size disparity between males and females of the same species. Humans are a strange mix. We tend to be mostly pair bonding with some residual tournamental tendencies.

    Glad I got through before I realised it was this complicated. My wife is shorter than I am, but neither of us is extreme. Now two of our children are taller than me, and the other is shorter than my wife. Want to know which one is married?? The short one!!
  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......


    really derailing now - but have you considered she may have post natal depression?

    @paperpudding

    I would think that truly, especially since they had 2 kids within 14 months not to mention the crazy family she comes from, but this was also going on long before she ever got pregnant. They were married for 6 years before their daughter was born, and she was like that the whole time.

    And even if she's struggling now with post partum making things even more difficult, that is definitely absolutely no excuse for getting completely drunk more than once while you are home responsible for a 3 month old and a 15 month old while your husband is at work, which has happened several times lately. That's the part that scares me - she doesn't want to get help; she just wants my brother to do it all and gets upset when he can't make her life perfect, so she's taken to self-medicating with alcohol.


    drinking is a new twist, that didnt get mentioned before :*


    anyway everyone's relationship dynamics are their own thing, I guess - and we are obviously only hearing one second hand version of the situation.

    *shrugs* well, you asked, and all I have to offer is my one second hand version.


    psychod787 wrote: »

    I think that's doable. 😅

    Besides, in my family, its not the cats you have to worry about - its my dad and sister lol

    Did I mention I ama prison nurse. So, not worried about family... I can handle almost anything....

    now see? Now I'm thinking there's gotta be a catch - you're sounding too good to be true lol :tongue:

    Trust me ma'am. I come with my own issues. Though being independent and having a job are not among them.🙃
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    Finding a mate seems so much easier in the animal world. If I were a bird I'd just attract females with my colourful plummage and song. If I were I spider I'd win her over with my mating dance. If I were a wolf I'd kill her a nice juicy rabbit. That's it. Do the one mating ritual and you're in.
    Women want it all though. Songs, dances, bright colourful displays, dead rabbits, etc. It gets to be a bit much.

    You forgot about praying mantises...😬

    **edit** going to have to mention pair bonding vs tournament mating. In pair bonding, the female is looking for the best provider with decent genetics. In tournament species, it's all about genetics. That is why we generally see a greater size disparity between males and females of the same species. Humans are a strange mix. We tend to be mostly pair bonding with some residual tournamental tendencies.

    Glad I got through before I realised it was this complicated. My wife is shorter than I am, but neither of us is extreme. Now two of our children are taller than me, and the other is shorter than my wife. Want to know which one is married?? The short one!!

    The subject of evolutionary psychology is a very large one. I have at least 100+ hrs listen to college lectures on it and still earn new things..
  • Theoldguy1Theoldguy1 Member Posts: 1,427 Member Member Posts: 1,427 Member
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Not doubting your stat, but that is wild. I'm 6'2" a group of like 10 of us HS friends were together and got a group picture. I was second to the shortest.
  • Mellouk89Mellouk89 Member Posts: 158 Member Member Posts: 158 Member
    It's google stats, but it may be closer to 18% among the younger generation.
  • KickassAmazon76KickassAmazon76 Member Posts: 1,286 Member Member Posts: 1,286 Member
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    It's google stats, but it may be closer to 18% among the younger generation.

    I wonder what the stats are about height differential preferences in general. If I were 5' tall, 6' wouldn't be something that mattered to me. I'd be fine with someone close to my height. But being 6'1", dating someone 5' tall doesn't appeal to me. Not because of them, but more because of my own insecurities about being freakishly tall "for a woman".

  • TonyB0588TonyB0588 Member Posts: 9,454 Member Member Posts: 9,454 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Not doubting your stat, but that is wild. I'm 6'2" a group of like 10 of us HS friends were together and got a group picture. I was second to the shortest.

    That's amazing. I don't know that many 6 footers.
  • paperpuddingpaperpudding Member Posts: 6,208 Member Member Posts: 6,208 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Not doubting your stat, but that is wild. I'm 6'2" a group of like 10 of us HS friends were together and got a group picture. I was second to the shortest.

    that would be unusual for a random collection of men ( particularly men of all racial backgrounds - obviously asian people, for example, tend to be shorter )- different if it were a group like your family who are all tall or a professional basketball team or some other non random group.

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