WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2020

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,114 Member
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    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    For my personal life I have relished the chance to get on with my memoir and have enjoyed my personal space. It seems strange to say it, but this has been a good year for me. ;):*

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    It has been my best year, of the past 3 years, by far!!

    I don't know what 2021 will bring. I'm not getting my hopes up because I think we may be in for a bumpy decade. But it has been nice to have a year like 2020 in which I could relax, take a bit of a break, and finish important things.

    M in Oz

  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    edited December 2020
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    Arg, lost a post.
    I am not good at quoting many people in one mail.

    @Auntie BK I am glad things are looking better health-wise for JO-oe.. Glad you had a spirit-lifting drive.

    @LisainAR I'm sorry I didn't get what health issues you are dealing with. I saw many references to it but I missed the details. It sounds like things are getting more manageable?

    @SuziQ113 That's great that your department is doing ok apparently. Good for you for getting back on track.


    INSIDIOUS SEXISM FROM "AWARE" PEOPLE. I guess I can't expect all sexism to just go away, through a conversation, right? I've spoken with one of the guys several times. I thought that since he has 2 grown daughters and a high school teacher wife, that he would be rather teachable. He understands intellectually, and may deny or concede a bit, but basically nothing has changed, after many months. He's definitely way less considerate to me, the only very active woman in the collective. He often calls and exchanges with the guys and leaves me out. The other seems much more open and respectful. I think the former is about 65 years old and the latter is in late 50s or very early 60s. When I was dating in my 30s I DID notice that, as intelligent as guys may be, for the few I met, a guy about 8 years older would tend to be a bit more old-fashioned, and than a guy just my age, and a guy 8 years younger (dated one time) even more modern than the guys my age (in regards to things like spontaneously sharing household shores, etc.) HAVE you found a difference in acting in a gender equal way in regards to age/generation IN GENERAL? (of course it may well depend on region, etc, and there is no over-arching generalisation, this is just my experience).

    HEALTH, in fact the results, received a week later were more nuanced. It says possible early MDS (which is in fact a sort of cancer, but which, according to those speaking, can remain in a state sometimes called "pre-cancerous" and be non-evolving), and possibly not. That he needs the results of a Karyotype. The haematologist says that he needs to do further tests, which will be due in January. I hope I will get the results, without making great efforts. They are doing a medullary Karyotype. From a quick online look that means that they are checking the chromosomes. So it could be nothing, or it could be a longish term slow ailment with no immediate effects or it could be a bit more important with possibility of faster evolution, (in 6 months or in 5 years or in 10 years). Like is not rarely the case, I just have to wait and see. I got the latest reading by my GP on Thursday. I haven't told anyone yet. I am not close at all to family at present, and it seems questionable to tell them before I have a better result in January. I HAD told a couple of colleagues a few weeks ago, I wasn't available cause I was getting a bone marrow aspiration. I spoke to one (the kind one) yesterday at end of day, and he asked a couple of times if I had any news. I didn't think to make the connection, but he was very likely talking about that but being polite, as he doesn't usually ask if I have news like that. I'm gonna meet him on Tuesday so maybe I will tell him. I hesitate because people around me are not very close at present. :'( Confinement does not help. Once you tell people something you can't UNTELL it. I was looking online and I saw some people did not tell people about health issues right away, and others had and regretted it as people kept endlessly asking how they were and they didn't like that. I don't know that that would bother me if some people did. I did finally see a sort of therapist yesterday. Here there are some that are free (covered by health care) and may be impossible to get an appointment with, and others who are very expensive, which I really can't afford. This one was between the two: about 30 euros out of pocket per meeting. She seemed fine. I don't really know how she works. She asked me questions and didn't really explain her approach, but seems ok. She also very kindly gave me the name of a guy therapist near me who is English -speaking in case I feel more at ease in English.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
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    @bwcetc I'm so sorry about the losses of people you knew. Thanks for the hugs. right back to you.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
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    @ginnytez thanks for your understanding. Some people are managing better than others with the confinement. The shopping sounds festive.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
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    I have never been a major major fan of the holidays/xmas, but I have enjoyed : nice meals, get-togethers, singing, two weeks school vacation.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    edited December 2020
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    When I miss some days (weeks) I read the few pages after my last post, hoping to catch any personal message and the last few pages. A lot of what is read is responses to other posts so it takes a while to get it. Now it's 29 pages, and I don't know how some of you manage to catch up when you've missed many days..;

    I had hardy bought anything but food in the last year. I went to an inexpensive shop and bought some inexpensive wool sweaters, a pair of jeans, and a down jacket. Because you couldn't try them on. You have to buy, try at home and bring back if not suitable. I'm not thrilled with the down jacket. (it was not cheap either). I wanted to freshen up as th old one is getting a bit old, and I'm constantly wearing it now, since we are always only outside. I like to get a really solid winter coat, which this is, but I'm just not crazy about it. I'm terrible about bringing things back (I hate the lines) but 'ill have to. I have till jan 15. TODAY I bought many things online for the appartment. I have been thinking about this for a good while as my apartment just doesn't look cozy. I have a 2 room place at a very reasonable place, and I sometimes convert the living area into art studio/office with dining area. not ideal for having friends over.

    So I finally ordered a trundle bed as sofa https://www.ikea.com/fr/fr/p/hemnes-lit-banquette-2-places-structure-gris-60372276/?cid=fr|ps|go|--&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8dH-BRD_ARIsAC24umakKHYtEGqk68le02LQ9SFemxaqbTm1lvwyRTn1SAG21uX9F8MztFcaAjl1EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds with 2 firm mattresses, mattress covers and sheets; a small round wooden table and 2 chairs https://www.ikea.com/fr/fr/p/gamlared-stefan-table-et-2-chaises-teinte-antique-clair-brun-noir-s59221165/ (my wooden birchwood Ikea table is worn out as I keep it on the balcony sometimes and it's not in it's days of youth, I have another rectangular one I use as an office) and a bookshelf as my papers are more abundant than the space to put them in. https://www.ikea.com/fr/fr/p/hemnes-bibliotheque-teinte-blanc-40371763/ I wanted to get a considerably cheaper bookshelf but is has not been available for a long time. This was all planned, but my credit card got swallowed by the ATM and took a week together back. Then, also considered at length (months) but bought more quickly: a hallway shoe storage cupboard https://www.amazon.fr/gp/product/B077GYD2TW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I have had a pretty shoe shelf for several years, but the shoes are apparent, and really is not so pretty for an entrance way. Looks messy. So I'm trying this replacement method. I'll see how it goes. Not really planned, violet replacement blackout curtains . I have turquoise in the bedroom area and white in the living area. The white gets too dirty. It's like a change of comforter: can give a fresh look with change of cloth. I used to keep as much white as possible to make the space feel bigger, but I prefer the turquoise to the white, and purple is really more my color than turquoise. Since one can see both curtains at the same time I'm going for the same color again, but a more lively color than white or off white. What I love is that they have a vast selection of lengths so I won't have to hem them at all. :) NOT REALLY PLANNED: stationary bike. stationary bike doesn't look like gyms will be open or that I will be going to work any time soon. Today I'm not cheerful, and feeling lonely and it's cold and drizzly. Going for a walk seems hard to do at present. It's 4pm and I've barely left bed, though I've worked from bed on bed-table that I already have had. Similar to this, correcting student's work and sending it to them online. https://www.amazon.fr/SONGMICS-Ordinateur-Portable-Tablette-LLD004/dp/B00CM3W8NA/ref=pd_sbs_201_7?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00CM3W8NA&pd_rd_r=6b98eb6a-7785-44c3-ae4e-abd39d363b48&pd_rd_w=wpq0k&pd_rd_wg=TcVSh&pf_rd_p=f830fd1b-0a0e-45df-92ea-82301efe01f8&pf_rd_r=VQJZAP79JZG7EA4CQ6XF&psc=1&refRID=VQJZAP79JZG7EA4CQ6XF I have never bought home gym stuff other then tiny dumbbells cause I've so often seen people who never/rarely used their gym equipment, after a few months. But I'm giving it a try. It seems some of you are using yours and... I don't think we will be able to go to work regularly (higher ed) till at least September.... gyms, cafés and restaurants are not going to open any time soon here. They were talking about Dec 15, but now certainly not before early January, and then we'll see... Some of us feel like we are in prison. I was talking to a mother of 2 teens, and (closed) restaurant owner, married to a husband with a solid job. She also says she feels like she is in prison. After 3 years of very hard work, her slightly upscale cozy reasonably-priced gastronomic restaurant was finally doing well. (it often takes 3 years hear for a new business to be profitable). Now the only option is take-away. Selling 15 takeaway lunches (for about 10 euros a meal) is not even necessarily viable : the cost of heat, packaging, ingredients, not even talking about paying herself a salary, would possibly be more expensive than the cost of the meal. And she took out major loans to get the place going, from bank and from friends and family. And selling these days would be at a major loss, so she can't sell without going bankrupt (and having friends and family lose money).
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
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    @grandmallie Nice to hear from you.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
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    I'm lucky to still have work and some good students and a safe warm dry place to live.

    Grateful:
    online delivery
    comfy bed
    bed tray
    many of my students
    breakfast
    green tea in teapot
    fresh air
    some good shows online
    cleaning lady help
    possible therapist
    legs that can walk
    warm down coat
    waterproof hiking sneakers

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,327 Member
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    I had a nice chat with my girlfriend on the phone. I made her laugh a bit which is good.
    Just received from Amazon a phone stand. Very pleased with it. Don't know why I didn't get one ages ago! Great for cooking and playing my language videos if my tablet is elsewhere. It's foldable, so can take it anywhere. When I'm back on the trains it will be great for that.

    Bananas - Sounds like you've had a bit of a spending spree. :D Sounds great. I use all my equipment every day plus dumbbells. This weather it's a life saver. Yes, it's very sad to see all our restaurants struggling. :'(

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 3,930 Member
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    B)
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,969 Member
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    annabananamc wrote: »
    I hope it's ok to jump in now. I thought about waiting for a brand new month, but as I'm two weeks out from turning 59, I figured I'd better start today. I eat fairly well, most of the time. I've just had the hardest time being motivated to move and I used to LOVE exercise. I think it's the people part I miss, so I'm hoping to connect here, and do better every day. I am Ann, I live in Dunedin, FL, almost 59 and 5'5" 163lbs of fun.

    :)Ann,This is the perfect time to jump in. Join into any part of the conversation that interests you. You don't have to respond to everything. I have found that reading this thread every day seems to motivate me to be more active. Is there a time and place you can go for a walk each day? That's a good way to be active. Can you listen to music or audiobooks or podcasts on your phone while you walk? That's a good way to make the walk more fun.

    :) One of my heros, Gretchen Rubin, recorded an audio book of "A Christmas Carol" that's available free and I just started listening to it. I'm not a Christmas celebrant but I've enjoyed many movies of the story and read the book a few years ago. Today is was great company on my walk (the recording is about three hours long, so it will accompany me for several more walks.).

    :)Allie, when I came home after my spine surgery and began walking in my house for 10 minutes in my nightgown using a walker, I couldn't imagine I'd every be my old self again but I recovered gradually and now I can walk like a real person again. I wish the same for you. Do not be discouraged.

    :) The fact that I am grateful for so many things now does not disrespect the hardships of others. I am grateful that people stay away from me and that I have nowhere to go except a few essential errands and that no one is coming to visit me and no one but my husband is touching or hugging me.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited December 2020
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    Allie: I am glad that you know what you are working with. It will be important information that helps you heal. I’m happy that you will be visited by a visiting nurse and PT. :star:

    Machka & Heather: Re: preferred interpersonal distances-- When I was a student at the University of Oregon, more than 50 years ago, I shared an apartment with a Chinese woman who was a native of Hong Kong, and a Saudi woman who was the daughter of a man who was in charge of a large hospital. The Chinese roommate was not a hugger, nor was I, but the Saudi roommate was very much a hugger when greeting guests. She explained that in her culture a person who didn’t stand close enough to smell your breath was standoffish & rude. It was an interesting time/place for me. The Saudi woman was visited by several Saudi men. She said they were princes, and I have no reason to think otherwise. It appeared to me that they were calling on her as a gesture of respect. :star: I am not personally a social hugger to anyone who is not a family member. :noway:

    Heather: I look forward to vaccination, too. I want to be able to visit my kids next year, with both DH & I protected from Corona Virus. :flowerforyou:

    Ann from FL: Welcome! :star:


    We are expecting a visit from the Christmas Ships. These are pleasure boats owned by individuals. They are not “ship” sized. The boats are all decorated with lights and parade for the community. It is a longtime traditional event that we look forward to each year. In past years I invited friends and family to come for a meal and a nice view of the boat parade. This year we will be on our own due to virus worries. Once we have our vaccinations we will be ready for adventures and a social life. The current guestimate of when is iffy. We're hoping for January but it may be longer.


    Katla in cloudy NW Oregon

  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited December 2020
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    (((KJ))): I guess the woman in the parking lot was your Guardian Angel for today. What a kind and generous woman! You do so much for others, I'm happy she was there for you today. :heart:
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,783 Member
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    KJ - that was a Godwink ,not knowing why something happens and then have someone show up to show you comfort..you deserve it.xoxo
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,575 Member
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    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Hey there everyone. Had a funny/weird thing happen today.
    I got up this morning, felt fine (a little tired) and went about my normal Saturday routine. Coffee, get ready for grocery shopping, hop online for a quick minute.etc. I got in my car and started the drive to the store and I just started crying. No music was playing; so that didn't get me started. Maybe it was the rain (it is a dreary December day). ANyway, I cried all of the way to the store. Parked in the lot and just sat and finished my cry. Then there was a knock on my car window. There was a woman there, probably in her 40s. She was masked, bundled up and holding an umbrella over her head. I rolled down my car window and she asked me if everything was all right. I just started crying harder and tried to explain that I didn't know why I was crying and that I thought I was just tired. She stood by my car and just waited for me to calm down. She just kept saying "everything will be okay". When I stopped crying, she said good-by and went on her way. I went in and did my shopping and went home. It was a very weird surreal event. Still not sure what was up with that; other than I am mentally and emotionally drained. I am officially a crazy person. *sigh I am going to just watch a show or two, maybe take another shower and go to sleep early tonight. Maybe that will help. Hugs to you all. ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)

    <HUG!!> I relate to this in so many ways.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR

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