Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
Replies
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Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t1 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
That’s basic maintenance. It’s important. I’d prefer they try to schedule it at a more convenient time if possible, but we can all learn to be flexible.3 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
My opinion, nothing wrong with setting time aside for workouts. But if it is becomes detrimental to quality time with loved ones it usually means that someone is lacking in either scheduling ability, or scheduling flexibility. Once in a while there may be no other options, but honestly, there are a lot of hours in a day, most people if they are actually serious about it can find the balance.5 -
twitchandshout wrote: »That’s basic maintenance. It’s important. I’d prefer they try to schedule it at a more convenient time if possible, but we can all learn to be flexible.My opinion, nothing wrong with setting time aside for workouts. But if it is becomes detrimental to quality time with loved ones it usually means that someone is lacking in either scheduling ability, or scheduling flexibility. Once in a while there may be no other options, but honestly, there are a lot of hours in a day, most people if they are actually serious about it can find the balance.
☝🏿 What they said.
Personally, I tend to keep my workouts to an hour anyway so there are 23 more of them thangs to play with.1 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Minimal PDA. Butt taps are fun.
If I can't quick squeeze a butt why are we even together!?
And the more uptight the crowd is the more I enjoy this one.2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
That’s basic maintenance. It’s important. I’d prefer they try to schedule it at a more convenient time if possible, but we can all learn to be flexible.
And even better if you can both work out together. Not always possible but it’s fun and another interest you can share.4 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
In my experience, it isn’t always easy but you try to make it work as best as possible. Sometimes that means I can’t spend time in my basement gym for a week at a time, sometimes time is made for me.
For the 2 weeks of the month that my wife and I are on the same schedule, I change immediately upon coming home from work and head straight to the basement, where I do what I can within an hour.
For the 2 weeks of the month that we are on opposing shifts, after all the dishes are done, lunches made, cleaning up, and little one put to bed, I ask my stepsons to listen for their sister (she has a tendency to wake up from bad dreams) so I can go work out. If the boys are at their dad’s, I don’t workout at all as I am 2 floors away from her.
Sometimes that means it’s 1 day a week. Sometimes it’s 4. I try to tell myself that something is better than nothing, although I know that won’t get me to where I want to be. It’s a lot of starting over again.
The point of this long post is this: family first. If my wife needs me, or wants my attention, or merely needs alone time because she had a bad day, I skip the workout. In MY opinion (don’t come at me), my wants/needs (like working out) is secondary to my family’s wants/needs. I make the sacrifices.6 -
Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
In my experience, it isn’t always easy but you try to make it work as best as possible. Sometimes that means I can’t spend time in my basement gym for a week at a time, sometimes time is made for me.
For the 2 weeks of the month that my wife and I are on the same schedule, I change immediately upon coming home from work and head straight to the basement, where I do what I can within an hour.
For the 2 weeks of the month that we are on opposing shifts, after all the dishes are done, lunches made, cleaning up, and little one put to bed, I ask my stepsons to listen for their sister (she has a tendency to wake up from bad dreams) so I can go work out. If the boys are at their dad’s, I don’t workout at all as I am 2 floors away from her.
Sometimes that means it’s 1 day a week. Sometimes it’s 4. I try to tell myself that something is better than nothing, although I know that won’t get me to where I want to be. It’s a lot of starting over again.
The point of this long post is this: family first. If my wife needs me, or wants my attention, or merely needs alone time because she had a bad day, I skip the workout. In MY opinion (don’t come at me), my wants/needs (like working out) is secondary to my family’s wants/needs. I make the sacrifices.
All of this sounds like a well adjusted way of pursuing things. I've done much the same over many years, and I respect your value set given the choices you must make. Good job.
The something is better than nothing part matters a ton. I say it all of the time, progress is built on the half assed workout. The days you could barely fit it in, or were low motivation but did it anyway, those are the days that matter most, because they keep you from going backwards, from starting over.2 -
Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
In my experience, it isn’t always easy but you try to make it work as best as possible. Sometimes that means I can’t spend time in my basement gym for a week at a time, sometimes time is made for me.
For the 2 weeks of the month that my wife and I are on the same schedule, I change immediately upon coming home from work and head straight to the basement, where I do what I can within an hour.
For the 2 weeks of the month that we are on opposing shifts, after all the dishes are done, lunches made, cleaning up, and little one put to bed, I ask my stepsons to listen for their sister (she has a tendency to wake up from bad dreams) so I can go work out. If the boys are at their dad’s, I don’t workout at all as I am 2 floors away from her.
Sometimes that means it’s 1 day a week. Sometimes it’s 4. I try to tell myself that something is better than nothing, although I know that won’t get me to where I want to be. It’s a lot of starting over again.
The point of this long post is this: family first. If my wife needs me, or wants my attention, or merely needs alone time because she had a bad day, I skip the workout. In MY opinion (don’t come at me), my wants/needs (like working out) is secondary to my family’s wants/needs. I make the sacrifices.
All of this sounds like a well adjusted way of pursuing things. I've done much the same over many years, and I respect your value set given the choices you must make. Good job.
The something is better than nothing part matters a ton. I say it all of the time, progress is built on the half assed workout. The days you could barely fit it in, or were low motivation but did it anyway, those are the days that matter most, because they keep you from going backwards, from starting over.
Thanks buddy0 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
For me, I had to learn that self care, making my health and wellness a priority, isn't being selfish. A healthier (physically and mentally) version of me makes a much better partner for my wife in so many respects.
Of course, sometimes that self care means working out instead of spending time with her. Sometimes it means forgoing my workout to spend more time with her because it's what I need that day or what she needs that day.
For me the key was understanding that this was a choice and that I needed to make the best choice for me/us rather than feeling like I couldn't work out because I needed to spend time with her. It's also important to me that we can communicate what we need even if it means the other person may not get to do what they want and that this ask isn't made without consideration of what the other person may be sacrificing. Being there for my wife is an aspect of my self care as well.0 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
Pre-Covid we had completely different schedules because he had a gym at work. He prefers afternoons, I prefer mornings. However, now that he works from home, we workout together in the mornings during the week and afternoons on the weekends.
Some times schedules don't match, stuff comes up, things happen. Compromise is key.
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PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
In and of itself, it's fine. I want her to do things she enjoys and/or needs for her own sanity... However, if that's just another thing that takes priority regularly/consistently over the relationship, then at some point there could be issues. I don't need to be #1 all the time, but if you put me at the bottom of the totem pole for long enough, the relationship will suffer.1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
Pre-Covid we had completely different schedules because he had a gym at work. He prefers afternoons, I prefer mornings. However, now that he works from home, we workout together in the mornings during the week and afternoons on the weekends.
Some times schedules don't match, stuff comes up, things happen. Compromise is key.
This so romantic, I can't even deal 😭1 -
Relationships are always about compromise. 50/50 is perfect but hardly happens all the time; some days you get the 90%, some days you get the 10%.1
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Relationships are always about compromise. 50/50 is perfect but hardly happens all the time; some days you get the 90%, some days you get the 10%.
Agreed. IMO, the goal is 50/50 over longer periods of time, not hours or days. If you gave as much as you got over the course of a year, that's pretty good.0 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t
Not an issue for us as I am the only one who works out and I get up earlier to fit it in before work.
I guess it would depend on how temporary the time constraints were, or if they're working toward a particular end goal like a competition or training for a marathon and it wasn't going to last forever. Health IS a priority.
If we're not spending much time together I'd eventually wonder why we were in a relationship though.1 -
Thanks for all the responses...I manage to juggle both for now...but going into a new ish relationship where this isn't a priority for him it makes it difficult to have him understand this is for my mental health not just how I physically look. Communication and some shifting of schedules has helped. In the long run I wonder if this will be something thats a deal breaker on either side....if that makes sense3
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PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Thanks for all the responses...I manage to juggle both for now...but going into a new ish relationship where this isn't a priority for him it makes it difficult to have him understand this is for my mental health not just how I physically look. Communication and some shifting of schedules has helped. In the long run I wonder if this will be something thats a deal breaker on either side....if that makes sense
You do what you need to do for you. He will compromise, adjust or jump ship. It's kind of hard to think of that as his problem; but it is his problem. This shouldn't be a disagreement, argument, or even a fight. You workout at such and such time, and that is part of what you are about. Is he really accepting you completely if he can't work around some gym time for you? I mean of all the things that could be a problem in a relationship... is this the one thing that could really ruin it all for you both?0 -
Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?2
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Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?
For me, definitely chemistry/spark at first sight but not love. Sure I love the way she looks but there are so many things that I love about her. At first sight, I don't know any of those other things. If the personality/person doesn't match, the looks don't matter when it comes to love for me.
Of course, I'm likely biased as my wife and I were friends for a year before we started dating. Oh the awkwardness for that year at certain times, lol.0 -
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Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar0
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PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar
I like a low side chignon, pronounced with an exaggerated French accent0 -
twitchandshout wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar
I like a low side chignon, pronounced with an exaggerated French accent
Please model this look...need reference point0 -
Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?
I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.
Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.
Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"0 -
Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?
I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.
Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.
Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"
For my wife and I, it was pretty close to it. She saw me in the rest view mirror of her car, headed to the same destination - and she liked what she saw enough to comment to her roommate.
Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.2 -
Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?
I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.
Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.
Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"
For my wife and I, it was pretty close to it. She saw me in the rest view mirror of her car, headed to the same destination - and she liked what she saw enough to comment to her roommate.
Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.
I can appreciate this. I have had a similar experience and would also say that it wasn't love at first sight. I don't know that my logical side would have ever allowed, much less admitted, that. It was definitely
an overwhelming desire to be in his sphere.1 -
Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.
I get this. I met my wife at a party through a friend who already had informed me she had a bf. At first, I spent most of my time trying to get to know her single friend but my wife and I just were drawn to each other in conversation and spent the rest of the party with each other. Her bf was in another city, so we did things together all the time. I'm sure to others it looked like dating and it likely was in many ways. We didn't "officially" start dating until after she broke up with her bf and I now get to be reminded how I was hitting on her friend, not her, the night we met (more by mutual friends now than by her).
An aside, the first time we did something after that party it was with a group but I would swear it was just her and me. My brain doesn't remember the other people being there at all. It must have been solely focused on her, innately knowing that we would spend 25+ years together.1 -
Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.
I get this. I met my wife at a party through a friend who already had informed me she had a bf. At first, I spent most of my time trying to get to know her single friend but my wife and I just were drawn to each other in conversation and spent the rest of the party with each other. Her bf was in another city, so we did things together all the time. I'm sure to others it looked like dating and it likely was in many ways. We didn't "officially" start dating until after she broke up with her bf and I now get to be reminded how I was hitting on her friend, not her, the night we met (more by mutual friends now than by her).
An aside, the first time we did something after that party it was with a group but I would swear it was just her and me. My brain doesn't remember the other people being there at all. It must have been solely focused on her, innately knowing that we would spend 25+ years together.
Yeah, I was similar. My wife's roommate was hanging around that first day with us, but I couldn't tell you a thing about her roommate, nor her parts of the conversation. She just didn't register other than as a vague entity.
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Do you trust easily or do you find it hard to trust? Is this different in person versus online or the same?
I trust pretty easy but I'm usually self assured that should my trust be squandered... I'll be fine regardless...
I trust pretty easily but never have much invested in it...1
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