Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

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  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    What is Dancing with the Stars called in Russia? Dancing with the Tsars
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Texasgntlman wrote: »
    How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?
    Nobody knows because it's never been done
    So true! At least in my house!

  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    mojohowitz wrote: »
    A man sees a dog licking its privates and says "Man, I wish I could do that."
    His friend replies, "Maybe you should pet him first."

    My favorite version of that joke is told in an exaggerated Southern (US) accent and the punchline is "That dog'd bite you."

  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    A cleaned up version of a joke I heard on an NPR podcast this weekend:

    The serial killer and his clueless potential victim are taking a shortcut through the deep, dark woods. "I'm scared!" the victim says. "You're scared?" says the killer, "I've got to walk out of here by myself!"
  • mustardyellowshirt
    mustardyellowshirt Posts: 53 Member
    mikeshockley wrote: »
    String walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey! Get out! We don't serve your kind!"

    String leaves, ruffles his ends and ties himself in the middle. Walks back into the bar. Bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string I just told to leave?" String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot".

    :p

    Darn you!! That's my favorite joke of all time and you beat me to it. LOL
  • spookyface
    spookyface Posts: 420 Member
    What did the horse say after he fell? I've fallen and I can't gitty up!
  • JFinn26
    JFinn26 Posts: 708 Member
    Did you hear what they do to people with celiac over in Germany?
    Anyone that’s diagnosed with celiac, to make them feel welcome, all the other celiacs in the town gather and beat the person with loaves of bread. It’s called the Gluten-Tag.

    There’s a similar practice done in France...they bring the pain...

    India is somewhat different. They choose naan-violence.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
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  • PapaBeast314
    PapaBeast314 Posts: 32 Member
    edited April 2021
    Why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9.

    Edit: Just read thru and saw this was already posted. Ooops.
  • Mangoperson88
    Mangoperson88 Posts: 339 Member
    Santa had a leakage in the roof over his dining room.
    Plumber asked: "Sir when did u notice it ??"
    Santa: "Last night.... when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup"
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,983 Member
    Did you hear about the woman who was addicted to the Hockey Pokey?

    She went to rehab and turned herself around.

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