WHY do people CHEAT?

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Replies

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    I cheat because I like the thrill.. oh, wait.. we're not talking about poker?
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.

    Did we work with the same guy?? :o

    Thing is, the fellow I knew, his wife had always worked and was the higher earner. Yet he still thought of it as "his" stuff when she had contributed more than half of the household income.

    I don't know if she ever became aware that he was cheating but she never left and he was eventually grateful for her because his health declined rapidly in his 60s and she provided care for him. None of his flings would have stuck it out.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.


    This is an incredibly insightful post.



    ..... what are you wearing ??
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
    Mental illness
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,612 Member
    corinasue1143 wrote: »
    Mental illness

    This
  • Bluetail6
    Bluetail6 Posts: 2,874 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.


    This is an incredibly insightful post.



    ..... what are you wearing ??

    I just spit out my Sleepy Time Tea, Motor. I am now howling at your last sentence🤣🤣🤣.


    To anyone else, I apologize for not adding anything useful, as I just looked at the last page.
  • chillidude1
    chillidude1 Posts: 24 Member
    edited May 2021
    My girlfriend cheated with a dad from the school.
    Hey gave her all the attention she wanted at the time. Think i must have been emotionally unavailable.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited May 2021
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.


    This is an incredibly insightful post.



    ..... what are you wearing ??

    B) Think leather fringe jacket here. I live and work in a man's world and sometimes, they share how they really feel about everything.

  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited May 2021
    ythannah wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.

    Did we work with the same guy?? :o

    Thing is, the fellow I knew, his wife had always worked and was the higher earner. Yet he still thought of it as "his" stuff when she had contributed more than half of the household income.

    I don't know if she ever became aware that he was cheating but she never left and he was eventually grateful for her because his health declined rapidly in his 60s and she provided care for him. None of his flings would have stuck it out.

    Relationships are not black and white when divorce is out of the question. He told me it was idealistic and naive to think of marriage without grey areas and that karma is only wishful thinking. She may have known all along that someone else was dipping into the till but they gutted it out. They came out smelling like a rose and living high on the hog. He knew what others thought but he didn't give a hoot.

    He died just a short time ago. The obit was glowing and full of his accomplishments. You would've thought he was an absolute saint and I'm sure spending all of that money makes everything that much sweeter now.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    Many do it for financial reasons, it's cheaper to keep them than lose everything. Homes, vehicles, boats, retirement, spousal and child support payments...so they cheat while still being miserable at home. I worked with someone who got away with it for 50 years. He told everyone this is exactly why he did it. He refused to give away all of his hard-earned income.

    Many women stay in miserable marriages for financial reasons, too. Insurance, retirement, childcare and overall standard of living - it goes down with a divorce. So they stay and gut it out until the end. That road runs both directions.

    Did we work with the same guy?? :o

    Thing is, the fellow I knew, his wife had always worked and was the higher earner. Yet he still thought of it as "his" stuff when she had contributed more than half of the household income.

    I don't know if she ever became aware that he was cheating but she never left and he was eventually grateful for her because his health declined rapidly in his 60s and she provided care for him. None of his flings would have stuck it out.

    Relationships are not black and white when divorce is out of the question. He told me it was idealistic and naive to think of marriage without grey areas and that karma is only wishful thinking. She may have known all along that someone else was dipping into the till but they gutted it out. They came out smelling like a rose and living high on the hog. He knew what others thought but he didn't give a hoot.

    He died just a short time ago. The obit was glowing and full of his accomplishments. You would've thought he was an absolute saint and I'm sure spending all of that money makes everything that much sweeter now.

    Would that
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    I believe People cheat because they're missing something in their lives and rather than talking to their partner about it, they let themselves be selfish and stray which is a very cowardly act. Talk with your partner about your needs and what's going on inside your heart and your mind. I really believe that unless you have a problem or addiction with sex, cheating is more a cry out for affection and companionship that for some reason us missing in their relationship. Seek help if your relationship matters to you, be honest with your partner and attend counseling as a couple and individually if need be. And if you feel you want to seek relationships elsewhere, get a divorce or break up first! The pain of being cheated on is the most horrible feeling of betrayal and can mess with a person's self worth and self esteem!
    It also makes one feel that the entire relationship was a lie and that none of it was ever real! If you Really truly Love someone, with every part of you ... Fidelity is key and the most selfless gift one can show to their partner.

    And to the other side, listen and show understanding rather than anger and judgement. If your partner comes to you with honesty, this is them loving you and wanting those feelings to go away.

    Seek help & Love one another ❤️

    I like this.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    So what do you think?
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    🙄
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    Many reasons but one thing is for sure and no one can convince me otherwise, is that if one cheats, then they don’t love their partner. Period.
  • chuckle_bunny
    chuckle_bunny Posts: 496 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Many reasons but one thing is for sure and no one can convince me otherwise, is that if one cheats, then they don’t love their partner. Period.
    It is possible, you just gotta believe in yourself!!!

    Jk

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