Less Alcohol ~ FEBRUARY 2022 ~ One Day At A Time

ahoy_m8 wrote: »

OMG LOVE THE BABY AND BIG SIS PHOTOS! Adorable!

Catching up and , truly, best wishes to all who are coming back from health stuff - earaches, heart attacks, COVID... serious stuff. A good reminder to be kind to your one and only amazing body.

@globalhiker , I am pondering the exact same things about the "reward" psychology. I kind of am of two minds. On the one hand, I think there is merit to the little voice that says one drink (or sweet treat) in an overall healthy diet/exercise regimen truly is ok if the goal is balance and enjoyment. No great harm if it truly brings a spec of enjoyment. On the other hand, the feeling of "deserving" or entitlement may not exactly be in harmony with enjoying a treat. But it might. Does feeling entitled to it lead to less enjoyment? I think for me that is the key as I look for ways to consume less WHILE enjoying more. I'm interested in others' thoughts on this.

Been away a week. An old friend asked me to come help her deal with some estate issues in central Mexico on Friday, and I hopped on a plane Monday to give her a hand. Long story, but I couldn't imagine tackling what she is dealing with alone. She was really grateful. I'm back now and ready to get back to my routine. I generally don't log when traveling, especially foreign travel. It's just impossible to know and too difficult to guess. Plus we drank during the week. Maybe every day? Or at least close to that. I wasn't keeping track but it seemed like a glass of something here and there on weeknights which is not my usual mode. Nothing crazy but nothing I really enjoyed either. The "We deserve a glass of wine" thinking at the end of the day was in full force. I would benefit from a good think about that.

The problem isn't the moderate consumption of "treats" the problem is compulsive, repetitive behaviours that you don't want to be continuing, but you do because you feel an intense urge/craving to do so.

When that's the case, it's not a treat, it's giving in to an addiction.

If you have compulsive cravings, giving in feels like a "treat" but it's actually a self destructive behavior.

Something is a "treat" when it's just a nice-to-have add-on to your normal day-to-day routine. A pedicure might be a nice treat, or some flowers. But if you spent your day thinking about pedicures, constantly thinking "I need to cut back on pedicures," promising yourself "only X number of pedicures this month," but then giving in and getting more pedicures than you intended, feeling guilty when you get too many pedicures, and justifying it as a "treat"???

Yeah, that's not a treat, that's a problem.

It's not how much you use something that dictates that you have problems with it, it's how you feel about using it that really matters.

If you're managing to limit yourself to only 1-2 drinks at a time, or only gambling $20, or only eating one cookie, or only doing a few lines of cocaine and only at parties, but you need to white knuckle the hell out of limiting it to that "acceptable" level, then you don't actually have a healthy relationship with the thing you are addicted to.

At that point, it's not a treat because the whole dynamic isn't healthy.

The question isn't "How much use can I justify as okay?" the question is "Do I feel like my relationship with this habit is healthy and contributing positively to my life overall?"

If the honest answer is "yes," then enjoy the treat. If it isn't "yes," then it's probably not a treat, because it's probably unhealthy for you.

It's the same way there's nothing wrong with having a delicious peanut butter cookie, unless it's unhealthy for you because you have diabetes or a peanut allergy or celiac.

If it's unhealthy for you, it's NOT a treat.

Once you look at it through that lense, the answer as to how much you should feel comfortable consuming becomes pretty self evident.

As a personal example, my husband used to drink much more than I did when he drank, but I felt the urge to drink more frequently.

I was the one with the addiction-type cravings every day. I didn't drink a lot in one sitting because my system couldn't handle it, but it was hard for me to abstain.

He on the other hand could kind of take it or leave it, but if he had more than 2 drinks, he lost his "off" switch and couldn't stop drinking. His whole personality would change, and it was horrible.

2 years later and I have no interest in ever drinking again because I never, ever want to be subject to those cravings and that difficulty to not drink. It will never be a "treat" for me.

But for him, he often has a max of 2 drinks when out with friends. He has no problem stopping if he sticks to a 2 drinks max, the floodgates never open, and he never feels the need for more. On any given outing, he could take it or leave it because he has no cravings. For him, the occasional beer or two is a legitimate treat, just a fun thing to add to an outing.

I'm totally comfortable with this, and even comfortable with him drinking around me.

As much as his drinking was actually more problematic than mine, he has the healthier relationship with very moderate drinking than I do.

Well true to form I watch 0 of the super bowl but did have a few drinks last night. They were 'weak' by most standards. I had experimented months ago making some coffee liqueur. So last night I made two drinks with some and tonic water. I don't recommend it.

Today I am back to my normal self being AF. I seem to do fine most of the week. My hardest day is believe it or not is Thursdays. Friday is a bit easier to skip alcohol. Saturday because of our history of going out for lunch and a beer is still problematic however that is the one day a week at this point I allow myself to have those 2 beers. A year ago I could not even think about going more than 2 days AF. So progress is progress.

Well I got into a funk and have had daily drinks (2 drinks per day since i last posted.) I have a lot of work to do to finish Febrary with more AF days than drinks days.

January - 28 days AF, 3 days A (7 total drinks)

February
2/1 AF
2/2 AF
2/3 1 drink
2/4 - 2/14 2 drinks daily

February totals: AF - 2, Drinks 12😒

@MissMay I agree with the other posters that I would ignore that alcohol you were served unless you had another after. The point of drinking less or not at all is not about alcohol consumption but rather about kicking addiction and/or making healthier choices that have a lasting impact on our mental, physical, relational, and financial health. You didn’t have a “choice” in that bar and you are continuing to “choose” sobriety (or dryness, lol whatever we call it!). This to me means you didn’t make a poor choice and therefore you should get to still claim your streak! 💕

Good day everyone!
AF last night but by the way I feel this morning I could swear I have a hang over. Sad news, fever, wicked headache, and body aches. Napaproxin to the rescue. So I have been up and drinking coffee for a few hours now. The headache and fever are mostly gone. But I will monitor the rest of the day.

We are suppose to have family over on Saturday but if I continue to run a fever we will have to cancel. My mom is 87 and immune compromised.

My daughter is posting all these baby pictures of Elsie on her facebook page, HaHa I gto to train that girl to text them to the grandma first then post for everyone else.

I’m late on my weekly posting🙃. I will say it’s much easier to abstain from wine since my husband is joining me on the less alcohol this month. But I’m finding that I do think about it more often than I do when I’m not abstaining; but I do that with anything I “give up” when dieting or when we do the Daniel Fast every year with our church (honey nut Cheerios, chocolate, coffee, etc.). I am going out to dinner with some girlfriends on Saturday and I am planning on having 2 glasses of wine. So for now here’s my count so far:

1/31-2/3: AF
2/4: A (wine)
2/5-2/15: AF

I hope everyone has a great day! 🙂

lmlmrn wrote: »

My daughter is posting all these baby pictures of Elsie on her facebook page, HaHa I gto to train that girl to text them to the grandma first then post for everyone else.

@lmlmrn - Love the pics of your granddaughters! I totally understand what you mean about seeing pics of your grandbaby on Facebook first. But it is not my DIL & Son ... it is the other grandma & stepdad both posting pics! They are prolific FB posters. My kids and I don't post much on Facebook except for major group pics or a few here and there ... so coming to terms with this. It is interesting. But my mental issue is NOT competing with this other grandma that is constantly buying stuff and posting pics.

Spoke to my son and they are texting me almost daily pics ... so many cute pictures!

Here is the pic I took Friday when I took my daughter, DIL and grandbaby out to lunch


Hallie visiting other grandmother ... new outfit (she already bought one for every holiday). This is basically a photo shoot at her home. But I got a great picture from it.