WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2022

GodMomKim wrote: »

Hi Gals,
Well I sort of feel like I live in a alternative universe. Some of this you may know, some is limited in details as this is a public forum.
Warning: there are a lot of triggers in this – I don’t even know how to write a warning but it is pretty awful, no sex, no blood, no pictures.

In January 2017 my brother told his family, x wife, xstep son(13 years), his son (18 years) (my nephew), his mom(89 years), Me and most of his friends that he was diagnosed with colon rectal cancer, and did 16 weeks of treatment.

**Note this is the first for me, mom, and nephew to know personally someone with cancer other than a spot or two of skin cancer. So we don’t really know what to expect.

My family is extremely private. And my mother has enabled my DB (D**** brother ) all of his life. He is an alcoholic, has lived at home, mom has cleaned cooked and financially supported DB and DN(nephew). DB drove himself to the treatments and did not share anything except the facility that he was having treatments. In late 2017 he went back for a follow-up and announced the treatment did not work and he had 4-6 months to live and would not be doing any of the treatments. DB hates everyone in any position of power and did not believe the doctors were competent.

His employment was all a handyman/plumber/car repair type work all casual labor. He quit working as many hours. And complained a bit about being tired and having pains here and there. He stopped eating certain foods as they bothered him. DB did not die. After a year or so, with no medical information I assumed he was in remission.

Fast forward to March 2022, DB has been having trouble with his left leg, pain, swelling and he is complaining a lot. But refuses a trip to the Doc, because they are stupid.

By April 8, 2022, he is in enough pain to ask his friend Tim to take him to ER. All of the beginning of the time I have been working with Tim to figure out what can be done is in previous posts. Tim has a lot of medical knowledge and access to folks in the medical field to translate what he doesn’t know. Tim got DB to sign a DNR (do not reinstate) form. Tim also got permission from DB to be his legal health advocate, so he has access to all of DB’s records. He went through each listing in the on-line health record read all of the notes. And there is no evidence of cancerous tumors anywhere in DB’s body. Tim read all of the results of the blood work and there is no evidence of cancer or chemo. Using every variation of DB name, birthdate, address, and social security number (even transpositions and things like trying both a 3 and an 8 in case someone could not read the handwritten form) there is no record of DB being at a doctor’s office since 2003.

Although DB is not admitting it he is also not denying it – The cancer diagnosis is/was a fraud. For as best as we can figure out, because he was not getting the attention that he believed he deserved, and he was loosing power over people. His son was 18, his mother/landlord/provider was looking into selling and downsizing.

The blood clot is the truth and if he will follow the doctors’ orders he probably can live and have a successful life, if not he will die. In the meantime, there is a ton of hurt, anger, feelings of betrayal. This family will never be the same. With Tim’s help I am doing everything we can to keep DN, my mom, and myself physically and mentally safe. There will be a long road ahead. I have no idea how we will do. I am getting counseling. DN is working with his health insurance provider to get help also.

Kim in N. California