At Goal & Successfully Maintaining. So Why Am I Doing This All Over Again?
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springlering62 wrote: »PS: it’s really really hard to increase calories when your mindset is “shave a few here, save a few there”. It takes work.
(Quoting this post ^^ as most apposite, but really replying to the last few on the thread.)
Once again, in yet another way, I think you and I are very different people. (I have similarities to WunderKingKind in other ways, and to you, but not this one.)
I'm more team "I'm in the healthy range so eating these delicious blue corn enchiladas smothered in cheese will be totally fine, even if it blows my calorie goal". I never have trouble increasing calories, because I'm aaaallll about the hedonism.
It's the reining myself in on the other end of that that's the challenge, now and (I'll bet) forever. Weight creeps up, then I need to catch it before things get out of hand, creep it back down again.
I can make cutting calories a fun game for a while, but I have a short attention span. My challenge is keeping the game going long enough to get where I need to go, for future Ann's long term health. Unless there's a personality transplant in my future, the odds of me slipping into obsessive cutting, let alone anorexia . . . sub-zero.
My desire to be active (or more specifically, to perform better, not necessarily add exercise volume) adds another impulse to the hedonic tendency to eat, rather than cut. My individual data geekery likes performance (faster rowing splits at the same HR: yay!) way more than it likes cutting and losing.
I'm not arguing with anyone who's posted. The things you are saying are real. Common? Maybe/probably. They're just not universal.
Attention to one's own individual preferences, strengths, risks, challenges is important, because personalization of tactics is key to success, IMO.7 -
It is for SURE not universal. I'm not sure anything related to psychology is.
I, personally, am bad at moderation. That means it's either eat all the things, no craps given, or go down another bad path. I'm not even moderate about moderation - ie: see me being absolutely stubbornly rigid about it in my own life. All or nothing is my tendency and since those don't serve me at all I kind of... fight the tendency by going all in on 'moderation'. Which is contradictory but is working for me, for now.
And at some point I'll probably have to change it one direction or another because nothing about my life is going to lend itself to being a functional strategy for another 40 or so years, and that's fine.5 -
@AnnPT77 @springlering62 @wunderkindking
It is interesting to hear how each of you manages. I am over halfway to my goal, and I am still getting a feel for how strict vs relaxed I should be. I can imagine I will continue to evolve depending what my goals are once I get to maintenance. I could see switching to a more performance-based approach later. I’m big into weight lifting, so I already have some goals in mind to work towards.
I went through my first big test a few weeks ago- a 7-night cruise. I ate (and drank, let’s be honest) aaaallllll the things for the trip, and I gained four pounds. I went back to my usual, reasonable deficit after the trip, and I hit my lowest weight this year ten days after I got home.
I always believed the hardest part would be having the discipline to go back to my healthy habits, but it wasn’t. They’ve become true habits, so it felt normal. The hardest part was the fatigue, bloating, GERD, and joint pain that started the moment I grossly overate and persisted after the trip. It took the full ten days for my body to feel good again. That’s a huge motivator for me.11 -
@AnnPT77
Let me rephrase
“Increasing calories wisely without caving in to daily hedonism is hard work. “
I’ve been a 10,000+ calorie a day gal. I know how to pack away some food. My diary three and four weeks ago while visiting kids is proof of that, lol.
Keeping things on an even keel while intentionally increasing calories is hard work. I think woo hoo!!!! 5-600 extra calories a day! But by the time I add a serving of naan chips and hummus, most of that’s already used up. It’s an illusion that you have vast unlimited calories. It’s still just 5-600.
I also have a spouse who is now counting calories. I’ve been the bad spouse and pigged out on junk when he successfully lost weight after being diagnosed with diabetes. I was an epic fail of a supportive wife.
Twenty or so years later, I now recognize that this wonderful husband isn’t getting any younger and I want him around as long as possible. It behooves me to provide a well rounded, carefully counted set of meals for him. His calorie budget is far lower than mine, so I have to discreetly eat my extra calories, which puts another kink in the process.
Tetris for two.11 -
I don’t recall if I’ve touched on this here or not, but I’m far more diligent (or obsessive, depending on your perception) with how I track, what I choose to and not eat, and getting my lifting workouts in now on year 10 on MFP than I ever was when I was losing the original chunk of weight that brought me here. Whether that’s good, bad or neutral, from a process control perspective I find it necessary for the stage I find myself in now. I’m prone to general anxiety, definitely have some OCD tendencies, body dysmorphia, and probably full-on orthorexia by strict definition. It’s taken plenty of iteration to get this this stage though and realizing I had to eat enough if I actually wanted to build some strength and muscle was a hard shift for me as well, especially coming from being mild/moderately overweight through the entirety of my adolescence. Still, I sometimes struggle between “fueling my activity” as an excuse to eat-all-the-things, even if none of them are “bad” for me, and chastising myself for not being particularly good at getting any leaner than I am right now.
I also find that I struggle mentally whenever I have any sort of ache, pain, poor sleep, etc. Is it because I’m a garbage person and not doing enough to take care of my body? Do more, workout more, do more cardio, eat more vegetables you sloth! Or…is it simply the relentless ticking of Father Time? Forever undefeated, chipping away at my being, which I came to build, respect and preserve too late in life; all is futile. It’s but a fool’s errand going to the lengths I attempt at wellness and longevity, a feeble shield held weakly against the inevitable… makes for nice pondering in idle moments.14 -
@steveko89 you’ve touched on a secret worry of mine. I assume you’re much younger than me, judging from the “89”.
This very powerful comment of yours pretty much sums it up:
Father Time? Forever undefeated, chipping away at my being, which I came to build, respect and preserve too late in life; all is futile. It’s but a fool’s errand going to the lengths I attempt at wellness
There are those times I worry, OK, I’m here. I’ve done this. I am not the person I was 45 months ago.
In a few years when I can no longer do a headstand/ bench press/ do crunches, when my muscles turn “old” (I work out at the Cocoon gym, I’ve seen ‘em on the next bench)……then what? Have I failed? Did I succeed, but just in the nick of time and just for a few years? What next? Was it worth the effort? The denial? The sore shoulders and aching tender periformis?
I guess that’s why I’m so busy trying to harvest “wins” now, while I still can.
Right now it is worth it. I’ve proved something to myself. I’m not quite sure what it is, mind you, but it satisfies something in my soul to know “I did this. I can do this. If I try this, I’m certain I can complete it on the nth try. I can do this better than *that* person over there, therefore, I am complete. For a minute or two .”
You’re not the only one thinking crazy *kitten* as you blow through curls and such.10 -
springlering62 wrote: »@steveko89 you’ve touched on a secret worry of mine. I assume you’re much younger than me, judging from the “89”.
This very powerful comment of yours pretty much sums it up:
Father Time? Forever undefeated, chipping away at my being, which I came to build, respect and preserve too late in life; all is futile. It’s but a fool’s errand going to the lengths I attempt at wellness
There are those times I worry, OK, I’m here. I’ve done this. I am not the person I was 45 months ago.
In a few years when I can no longer do a headstand/ bench press/ do crunches, when my muscles turn “old” (I work out at the Cocoon gym, I’ve seen ‘em on the next bench)……then what? Have I failed? Did I succeed, but just in the nick of time and just for a few years? What next? Was it worth the effort? The denial? The sore shoulders and aching tender periformis?
I guess that’s why I’m so busy trying to harvest “wins” now, while I still can.
Right now it is worth it. I’ve proved something to myself. I’m not quite sure what it is, mind you, but it satisfies something in my soul to know “I did this. I can do this. If I try this, I’m certain I can complete it on the nth try. I can do this better than *that* person over there, therefore, I am complete. For a minute or two .”
You’re not the only one thinking crazy *kitten* as you blow through curls and such.
@Springlering62, your speculation on the "89" is correct, I turned 33 last month. It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one with moments of doubt and I know fitness is worth it and usually a better-late-than-never proposition.4 -
springlering62 wrote: »@steveko89 you’ve touched on a secret worry of mine. I assume you’re much younger than me, judging from the “89”.
This very powerful comment of yours pretty much sums it up:
Father Time? Forever undefeated, chipping away at my being, which I came to build, respect and preserve too late in life; all is futile. It’s but a fool’s errand going to the lengths I attempt at wellness
There are those times I worry, OK, I’m here. I’ve done this. I am not the person I was 45 months ago.
In a few years when I can no longer do a headstand/ bench press/ do crunches, when my muscles turn “old” (I work out at the Cocoon gym, I’ve seen ‘em on the next bench)……then what? Have I failed? Did I succeed, but just in the nick of time and just for a few years? What next? Was it worth the effort? The denial? The sore shoulders and aching tender periformis?
I guess that’s why I’m so busy trying to harvest “wins” now, while I still can.
Right now it is worth it. I’ve proved something to myself. I’m not quite sure what it is, mind you, but it satisfies something in my soul to know “I did this. I can do this. If I try this, I’m certain I can complete it on the nth try. I can do this better than *that* person over there, therefore, I am complete. For a minute or two .”
You’re not the only one thinking crazy *kitten* as you blow through curls and such.
@Springlering62, your speculation on the "89" is correct, I turned 33 last month. It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one with moments of doubt and I know fitness is worth it and usually a better-late-than-never proposition.
Oh, honey, honey, honey. I wish I could give you a hug.
If I’d learned all this at 33, the exact period when I was beating a path from solid normal towards obesity, so much might have been different.
I’m so happy for you you’ve done this young. Stick with it. It sucks being old and overweight, huffing and puffing, being too embarrassed or flat out physically unable to do things you’d really have liked to.
However, it’s not all bad : we are the sum of our experience. I don’t think I would appreciate where I am today nearly enough if that had been my norm. I’m very grateful to be here.
You’re on the upside of the curve. Savor and revel in it. Good for you!!!!!!12 -
@Springlering62, your speculation on the "89" is correct, I turned 33 last month. It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one with moments of doubt and I know fitness is worth it and usually a better-late-than-never proposition.
Although I was thin growing up, I was very soft and didn't have much muscle. As I got older I just got softer and bigger. I started working out and eating better after I had kids which was in my early 30's. I felt bad that I hadn't done it earlier, and I almost let that stop me from succeeding. I mean who did I think I was, I did this to myself I deserve every ounce of fat and every self-loathing thought, right? Nope, I had way more to offer the world that a sad shadow of a girl. That is not what I wanted my children to see me as. They deserved to see a happy healthy mom & female role model. Exercise and moderate eating was our norm. Even though I missed the boat growing up, they didn't have to. I soon realized I was becoming the person I wanted to be (slowly). Happy and healthy.
I still suffered from some body dysmorphia and hid from the camera for a bit, but I gradually started to believe in myself. Sure I there were days when the negative thoughts burst in, but by and large the changes were positive and so was my attitude. All around me noticed that I was a happier more energetic person.
Take where you are now and fly with it, you will only get better if you let yourself. Crush the negative thoughts and swing for the fences. My forties were by far my fittest years, but I'm hoping my 50's rock as well.
Good luck, be kind to yourself and try to enjoy life, you totally deserve it!10 -
Do I sense a trend of the 50's starting again or just starting to get healthy?
I was active and fit in the ones, teens, 20's and 30's (not an athlete though). Then 40's came and so did close family member deaths, depression, and the weight gain.
Oh to roll back the clock and be in a younger, fitter state again, and carefree attitude. Well until the actual time machine appears, I am happy to be starting the journey at 53, soon to be 54. Being unfit and unhealthy at any age is the pits.
But father time, does not dictate my health or happiness at the moment. I am on my way to healthy and I can say I am fitter then I was 4 months ago. I haven't completed the journey (if I ever complete, as I suspect this will be a life long journey) so I dont know if I will develop any type of dysmorphia.
Maybe the opposite at the present. I think in my mind I actually look better than what is true in real life. I know where I started and where I am at the present. I remember at my current weight 178, looking at myself in the past knowing I was heavy, but now down from 205, I think damn you dont look so bad. There may be a little difference in body shape now, as I am actively exercising and I wasn't at my prior 178, but most likely not enough of a huge difference. I am just thinner than 205 lbs. (I haven't looked at thin photos of myself yet... this might bring me back to reality and I like living in my fantasy at the moment )
As Pride indicated above... I hope the 50's rock... and I can rock the 50's!
Take the 30's or whatever age and live life to the fullest. Strive to be happy living your best life!
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I think we have about every decade represented here (I'm in my 40s, and that's when I got fit. My mid/late 20s is when it started to go to heck and then kept going to heck until early 40s, and then cleaned it up again. Got into athletics WHILE obese/in my 40s).
Honestly, I think the big key to all of this regardless of age is just self-awareness.
If you know where your landmines are you can avoid them. May or may not always manage to do so but at least CAN . If you don't know, you can't.11 -
Or…is it simply the relentless ticking of Father Time? Forever undefeated, chipping away at my being, which I came to build, respect and preserve too late in life; all is futile. It’s but a fool’s errand going to the lengths I attempt at wellness and longevity, a feeble shield held weakly against the inevitable… makes for nice pondering in idle moments.
Wow. That's exactly how I feel these days, although my rogue appendix chipped off more of my physical wellbeing than time did. (Maybe it's easier to accept the deterioration when it's gradual and not sudden?) And now to find out that all the resistance training I've done for the past 10 ish years has failed to stave off osteoporosis.
However. I've got 25 years on you so you've still got a few good decades ahead of you8 -
@ythannah :
…all the resistance training I've done for the past 10 ish years has failed to stave off osteoporosis….
I feel ya, honey. I feel ya. That’s how I felt when I got the density scan results last week. WTF? I’m doing everything right?
Brief Thread Hijack, since several of you have the Ninja Creami. I made the perfect vanilla. Lovely taste, great creamy texture. This is the keeper recipe:
103 cal/serving, including a pretty good helping of protein.
Topped off with ice water to seven cups fills all three containers to the fill line, so you’re getting a bit more than a half-pint per serving.
In homage to some wonderful ice cream we enjoyed in Ireland, I got some chocolate honeycomb candy from Sprouts. Put an ounce in a baggy, cathartically whacked it with the rolling pin and stirred it in. That added 65 cal apiece and felt really decadent, even though the whole thing came to under 170 calories.
Found the vanilla almond Skinny Syrup at TJMaxx for $3.99 for 30 oz bottle. Planning to try same ratios with chocolate pudding and peanut butter cup syrup, and maybe a pulverized Reese’s.3 -
springlering62 wrote: »@ythannah :
…all the resistance training I've done for the past 10 ish years has failed to stave off osteoporosis….
I feel ya, honey. I feel ya. That’s how I felt when I got the density scan results last week. WTF? I’m doing everything right?
Brief Thread Hijack, since several of you have the Ninja Creami. I made the perfect vanilla. Lovely taste, great creamy texture. This is the keeper recipe:
103 cal/serving, including a pretty good helping of protein.
Topped off with ice water to seven cups fills all three containers to the fill line, so you’re getting a bit more than a half-pint per serving.
In homage to some wonderful ice cream we enjoyed in Ireland, I got some chocolate honeycomb candy from Sprouts. Put an ounce in a baggy, cathartically whacked it with the rolling pin and stirred it in. That added 65 cal apiece and felt really decadent, even though the whole thing came to under 170 calories.
Found the vanilla almond Skinny Syrup at TJMaxx for $3.99 for 30 oz bottle. Planning to try same ratios with chocolate pudding and peanut butter cup syrup, and maybe a pulverized Reese’s.
Thank you for that recipe! I will be trying it.
Question for both of you @springlering62 and @ythannah - have you taken vitamin D and/or calcium over the years? Have you ever had your Vit D levels checked?
I recall reading a study when I was in school about how heavy exercise can actually decrease bone density in women unless they supplemented those.1 -
springlering62 wrote: »@ythannah :
…all the resistance training I've done for the past 10 ish years has failed to stave off osteoporosis….
I feel ya, honey. I feel ya. That’s how I felt when I got the density scan results last week. WTF? I’m doing everything right?
Brief Thread Hijack, since several of you have the Ninja Creami. I made the perfect vanilla. Lovely taste, great creamy texture. This is the keeper recipe:
103 cal/serving, including a pretty good helping of protein.
Topped off with ice water to seven cups fills all three containers to the fill line, so you’re getting a bit more than a half-pint per serving.
In homage to some wonderful ice cream we enjoyed in Ireland, I got some chocolate honeycomb candy from Sprouts. Put an ounce in a baggy, cathartically whacked it with the rolling pin and stirred it in. That added 65 cal apiece and felt really decadent, even though the whole thing came to under 170 calories.
Found the vanilla almond Skinny Syrup at TJMaxx for $3.99 for 30 oz bottle. Planning to try same ratios with chocolate pudding and peanut butter cup syrup, and maybe a pulverized Reese’s.
Thank you for that recipe! I will be trying it.
Question for both of you @springlering62 and @ythannah - have you taken vitamin D and/or calcium over the years? Have you ever had your Vit D levels checked?
I recall reading a study when I was in school about how heavy exercise can actually decrease bone density in women unless they supplemented those.
I haven’t. But I eat a fair amount of dairy and am outside a couple hours per day, well, since “new me” began four years ago!
I do supplement b12 at suggestion if my GP, who is holistic as well as traditional meds. She suggested a particular brand that is different from standard and melts under the tongue. When it was sold out during lockdown (apparently B12 was one of the miracle cures then) I could def tell a difference in energy levels not taking it.0 -
Re Vitamin D, I just read a couple of articles on vitamin D deficiency in people living in northern climates. One was published by Harvard and the other by Tufts. They both determined that people living north of the 37th parrallel don't receive enough Vitamin D from the sun's rays and must therefore make up for it in their diet. The Harvard article also said that obese people tend to have lower levels of Vitamin D (I thought that was interesting).
As a child, my mother always made us take halibut liver oil capsules in the winter. I then did it for my children as well, though I never knew why (I'm not sure my mother knew why either, but obviously she had read or heard something about it, back in the 60's).
I don't eat a lot of fish and live in a northern climate so I take a cod liver oil capsule daily (not just in the winter months). Will it help? I hope so. I should probably ask for a bone density test on one of my very rare visits to the doctor. Things come and go (like B12 being a "miracle cure" LOL) but it seems that fish oil has been researched many times and is still found to be a good addition to a northern diet. Maybe it's something to talk to your health care provider about at your next visit, especially for those people living north of the 37th parallel.1 -
ridiculous59 wrote: »Re Vitamin D, I just read a couple of articles on vitamin D deficiency in people living in northern climates. One was published by Harvard and the other by Tufts. They both determined that people living north of the 37th parrallel don't receive enough Vitamin D from the sun's rays and must therefore make up for it in their diet. The Harvard article also said that obese people tend to have lower levels of Vitamin D (I thought that was interesting).
I'm in the UK, it is now an official recommendation that we take Vitamin D through the winter for exactly this.1 -
Question for both of you @springlering62 and @ythannah - have you taken vitamin D and/or calcium over the years? Have you ever had your Vit D levels checked?
I've taken an "insurance" multivitamin for many years which has vit D and I used to supplement 1000 mg calcium daily which added another 400 D. Then my dr said there were negative side effects from supplemental calcium and told me to cut it in half so I've only been adding 500 mg calcium/200 IU D for about the past 10 years, plus whatever is in my multi.
When I had bone loss in my jaw she immediately told me to "take more vit D" without even checking my levels to see if it was an issue, so I started adding 1000 IU daily. That was about 5 or 6 years ago.
In addition to normal dietary sources, I currently supplement a daily total of 800 mg calcium and 2000 IU vit D.
ETA: I also take a 1000mg wild salmon and fish oil capsule, mainly because my dad does and he's smarter than me lol. Although I'm pescetarian so I do eat a LOT of fish and seafood.
ETA2: my dr does check my B12 levels regularly because somehow she thinks I'm vegan. I do eat eggs and dairy, however. Yes, my dr goes off on the wrong tangents constantly.2 -
I’ve joked around here before that when my batwings start chafing, something is fixing to happen to my body.
Well, they started chafing last week, so I pulled out the old Body Glide stick.
When I stripped to brush my teeth this morning, I blearily looked in the mirror and rared back. OMG!!! My stomach has collapsed and turned into a mass of wrinkles!!!!! There’s giant pits under my ribs.
Horror! Panic! WTF???!!!!
But then I remembered. This has happened before. In my first year of weight loss, I was plugging away, had begun lifting weights. One morning, I woke to discover my butt had collapsed. Yep. It looked like 80’s balloon curtains, with the texture of old water balloons. I was horrified. But within a week, it had lifted and firmed!
Then there was the morning I realized my thighs had dimpled (that’s the kind way of putting it) overnight with cellulite. Within a couple of days it had vanished and my thighs were left tight and firm.
I don’t know what’s fixing to happen. All I have on my belly is extra skin, and it’s been easy to hide and something I can live with. Discovering cereal bowl sized pits and severe sagging this morning is both horrifying AND exciting.
At BL’s suggestion I tried pulling some of the extra skin out. I can usually pull a roll out four or five inches. (God bless the inventors of Lycra.) This morning I had trouble grabbing enough to pull.
Something is fixing to happen. I have no idea what, but nearly every day of this almost four year journey has been an adventure, a learning experience, an education in loving and accepting myself, as I am, and developing new habits so I can continue having the internal fortitude to keep at it.
My body has continued to both reward and utterly, utterly puzzle me.
It is such a gift and I’m so sad it took me 55+ years to understand that and to befriend myself.13 -
…..and since this thread was originally about BL and not me, his weight is holding steady but the inches keep coming off. I have conned him into another trip to the outlet mall today and am going to pressure him to get some smaller clothes.
He’s doing super well staying on track. He does very little snacking, although he goes doe-eyed when it’s time to blend ice cream in the evening, and he permits himself two large apple fritters a week for breakfast- all within budget.
He’s making sure he can fit his beloved pimento cheese sandwiches and a carefully weighed serving of chips into his budget, too.
He’s doing aquafit five or six times a week, Tai Chi a couple of times, and is consciously trying to get 10,000 steps. He’ll sometimes take the dog out for an extra walk to get there.
Lately, he has begun cautiously asking me about weight training.
I silently compare my 67 year old honeybun to other 67 year old men, and man, he is KILLING it.
He has absolutely turned it around in the past eight or nine months.
As a side note, I noticed last night his skin looks lovely, and his hair, beleive it or not, seems thicker and he’s getting a little bit of wave and curl, lol.
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