Wrong answers ONLY!
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FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »Any suggestions on where we might search for that perfect place to relocate to, with hopefully no language barriers or fear of being victims of criminal activity?
Have you heard about the Mars colonization project? Space agencies are trying to setup a permanent colony on Mars. Their reason is scientific, but I think it would work perfectly for you as well. No language barriers, as all dozen people on the planet will speak Geek (just binge watch Star Trek before going, you'll be fine). No criminal activity, as all the thieves are waiting for there to be something worth stealing before making the journey there. (Maybe in ten years you'll need to worry.) And those sunsets are truly exotic!Generic_Excuse wrote: »Why is it when I've been away for a few nights coming home to my bed is perfection but when I've been here for a few weeks I'll start thinking, "We need a new mattress"?
Your memory is disappearing with age, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. (Fortunately for me, you won't remember I said this in about 15 minutes.) Try adding in a daily mental exercise, such as crossword puzzles or learning a new language, like Klingon. (Oh, wait, that's for @FabulousFantasticFifty.) Soon you won't forget your mattress when you're away, and there'll never be a difference in opinion on whether to replace it or not.
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Why is it called "Rush Hour" when commute traffic gets heavy, when you're actually travelling at a much slower speed?0 -
🤬 One minute late...
You've heard the phrase, "absence makes the heart grow fonder", right? You probably didn't know that saying was started by travelers who missed their comfy bed at home. Conversely, the saying, "Fish and visitors stink after three days" is also attributed to one's own bed. The solution to staying happy with your mattress is to leave your home periodically, then returning, but only staying three days at a time.
What's the best way to back out of a commitment you've decided you'd rather not fulfill?1 -
FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »Any suggestions on where we might search for that perfect place to relocate to, with hopefully no language barriers or fear of being victims of criminal activity?
Have you heard about the Mars colonization project? Space agencies are trying to setup a permanent colony on Mars. Their reason is scientific, but I think it would work perfectly for you as well. No language barriers, as all dozen people on the planet will speak Geek (just binge watch Star Trek before going, you'll be fine). No criminal activity, as all the thieves are waiting for there to be something worth stealing before making the journey there. (Maybe in ten years you'll need to worry.) And those sunsets are truly exotic!Generic_Excuse wrote: »Why is it when I've been away for a few nights coming home to my bed is perfection but when I've been here for a few weeks I'll start thinking, "We need a new mattress"?
Your memory is disappearing with age, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. (Fortunately for me, you won't remember I said this in about 15 minutes.) Try adding in a daily mental exercise, such as crossword puzzles or learning a new language, like Klingon. (Oh, wait, that's for @FabulousFantasticFifty.) Soon you won't forget your mattress when you're away, and there'll never be a difference in opinion on whether to replace it or not.
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Why is it called "Rush Hour" when commute traffic gets heavy, when you're actually travelling at a much slower speed?
You've heard of a sugar rush, yes? It's that experience of high energy immediately after consuming a sugary snack or beverage. The term "rush hour" derives from the same idea.
People in rush hour traffic experience a rush of adrenaline at the thought of sitting in stop and go traffic for hours. Interestingly enough, "road rage" often closely coincides with rush hour.
So what is the best way to back out of a commitment you'd rather not keep?0 -
There is NO best way to back out of a commitment. Ethically, morally, legally, you MUST honor your commitment, period. The only way out of a commitment is to never have made it in the first place.
"But it's in the past, I'm hosed!" you might say. Ah, but you're forgetting about time travel! (Re-read the post above for tips about improving your memory.) Just hop in your time machine, go back to a few moments before you actually made the commitment, slap yourself upside the head a few times (not too hard, though, or else you both will get a headache), then return to present time and voila! No more commitment.
Now before you tell me the time machine hasn't been invented yet, well, get on it! The more dire the commitment you want to get out of, the more motivated you'll be to invent the time machine. To speed up the process, after you invent it, go back in time to the moment you first decided you wanted to invent it, share the secret, and boom, you'll have invented it in no time flat! (The fact you haven't done this for yourself yet means you either aren't that motivated yet, or you're a selfish jerk who won't share the secret with yourself. How rude.)
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Once you invent the time machine, if you had only enough fuel to make a single trip to change a single piece of your personal history, what would you change?0 -
Blame the dog or the kids...
"The dog ate my car keys and I can't leave the house!" Or "My kid is sick with a case of Hamsterpox"(can't hardly blame the chickens if you live in a high-rise condo). Or if all else fails ...
Fake your death and Take out ad in the obituaries and say you died in a Freak accident and were eaten by a pack of wild goats on a hike or were Run over by a truck delivering a herd of Cows with Mad Cow Desease to the local Butcher Shop. If you choose this option I'd recommend changing your identity (Red heads are kinda fun!) 😜And move to another Country ...or better yet you can move to Mars with Michael and I, "Have you heard about the Mars colonization project? Space agencies are trying to setup a permanent colony on Mars. Their reason is scientific, but I think it would work perfectly for you as well. No language barriers, as all dozen people on the planet will speak Geek (just binge watch Star Trek before going, you'll be fine). No criminal activity, as all the thieves are waiting for there to be something worth stealing before making the journey there. (Maybe in ten years you'll need to worry.) And those sunsets are truly exotic."
Why is gas so expensive? My Goodness!!! It's hard enough finding good employees to work and actually show up everyday, but at this rate it will cost more to fill their tanks than what they make working! Not to mention that every one of our Business equipment required gas or diesel to run! Boy it's hard trying to keep this business going...even after 23 years...0 -
There is NO best way to back out of a commitment. Ethically, morally, legally, you MUST honor your commitment, period. The only way out of a commitment is to never have made it in the first place.
"But it's in the past, I'm hosed!" you might say. Ah, but you're forgetting about time travel! (Re-read the post above for tips about improving your memory.) Just hop in your time machine, go back to a few moments before you actually made the commitment, slap yourself upside the head a few times (not too hard, though, or else you both will get a headache), then return to present time and voila! No more commitment.
Now before you tell me the time machine hasn't been invented yet, well, get on it! The more dire the commitment you want to get out of, the more motivated you'll be to invent the time machine. To speed up the process, after you invent it, go back in time to the moment you first decided you wanted to invent it, share the secret, and boom, you'll have invented it in no time flat! (The fact you haven't done this for yourself yet means you either aren't that motivated yet, or you're a selfish jerk who won't share the secret with yourself. How rude.)
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Once you invent the time machine, if you had only enough fuel to make a single trip to change a single piece of your personal history, what would you change?
I would change the fact that I graduated from high school. School was so much fun, it would've been a blast to repeat my last year at least one more time. Teenage acne, no-boyfriend angst, finals anxiety, what's not to love about all that?
And now Fab would like to know why gas is so expensive...
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You’ve heard that raising cattle is ruining the earth. It creates methane gas, which causes global warming. The gas stations are thinking ahead. They know we’re having an extra hot summer, which is causing crops to dry up, which means no feed for livestock, which means ranchers are selling livestock, which means more meat in the grocery store, which means more staying home and cooking out, so less gas used to go to restaurants. Therefore, the gas stations must charge more to make the same $$. In the fall, when meat is scarce and prices soar, you’ll hardly notice the high gas prices.
Why do fast food places have 0 low-calorie options for breakfast? They even add so much sugar to oatmeal that it’s no longer low calorie.0 -
@FabulousFantasticFifty... Here's a competing theory for high gas prices...
Gas, like all petroleum products, comes from dinosaurs, more specifically, from dinosaur feces. But dinosaurs have been dying out for a while now, so dinosaur feces is becoming rare. Jurassic Park/World is trying to rectify this situation, but it's taking time. Meanwhile, we will see the price of petroleum products continue to soar. It is expected that by this time next week, gas will cost over $100 per gallon. A smart person would consider converting their automobile from gas to crude oil, since $100 is around the price of a whole barrel of oil!
Why do fast food places have 0 low-calorie options for breakfast? They even add so much sugar to oatmeal that it’s no longer low calorie.
Fast food places exist to help make you faster, hence the term "fast food". As everyone knows, sugar is what makes you faster. So, fast food places exist as a way of delivering high doses of sugar to you. Everything else in the food is simply there to provide a little flavor/texture variety. BTW, eating zero calorie foods is extremely dangerous. You need calories in order to do anything.
Yesterday, I took a hike at the Presidio in San Francisco, at 8am. Last night, I took a walk at a local park at 9:30pm. These locations are about 100 miles apart. If I can walk in these two different places 100 miles apart, should I consider walking from one to the other? Or can I just claim to have taken a 105.9 mile walk?0 -
You could claim that but make sure your wording is vague enough like, "I started a hike at 8am at Presidio and by 9:30pm I had reached [insert name of park]". Be prepared for people asking you about your mile time and giving you that look of doing mental math in their head. However, if you do try to walk the 100 miles in between make sure you pack for the journey. Saw this couple on TikTok that walks from Arizona (? I think that was their starting point) all the way to Canada and the mailed themselves food to different post offices on the way. Pretty smart. Anyways good luck on either!
Why is the me inside my head so quick and good at doing things but when I attempt them it doesn't turn out that way? Example: I can rollerblade very easily when I imagine it yet when I try it I'm not as graceful and wind up with a sore bum. 🤣1 -
You truly are a miracle of nature, because you can access the Matrix through simply thinking about it rather than plugging into a machine! I am so jealous at your ability to simply close your eyes and download a program to become an instant Jedi Master or chess master with equal lack of effort. Please teach me this skill!
I just came home from a week vacation camping, and now feel I need a week of vacation on my couch to recover. Isn't taking a vacation supposed to energize you, not fatigue you?0 -
I just got back yesterday evening after more than a week have vacation time and so I know something about those feelings of fatigue.
I used to believe that there was a conspiracy of businesses to do things like screw up hotel and airline reservations to ensure that people on vacation had a miserable time, and felt more relaxed at work than when away from work. This would ensure that fewer people took vacations when they were available and were more satisfied when they were at work.
However now that I'm retired I have discovered that vacations are still fatiguing so have rejected that former theory.
The reality is that fun is exhausting. Eliminating fun from our lives is a way to ensure that the world is more productive, and that adults and children stay focused on their work and studies. Television programming, Airline scheduling, Highway construction projects, and a great many other daily annoyances are evidence of how world governments are working to ensure that all major fun is removed from human experience, particularly in those areas that don't increase government revenue.
The best thing for us to do now, is to stop trying to enjoy life, and be sure and write your government representatives to let them know we appreciate their efforts to remove all enjoyment from life.
I ran over another piece of tire rubber on the highway yesterday. There are always pieces of disintegrated tires that have fallen off the wheels of big trucks on the highway, and yesterday one of those pieces of rubber succeeded in knocking the last of my car's front spoiler off. So now my car does not have a front spoiler, but it drives just fine. Still, it doesn't look quite right. Any suggestions of what I could put on front of my car instead of a spoiler to improve the overall aesthetics?
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*Editor's note: by spoiler I presume you mean bumper, the horizontal piece of rubber/metal low to the ground which absorbs the energy of minor bumps with other vehicles/trees. When I hear the term spoiler applied to cars, I envision the swept wing on the back of the car to give it a sporty appearance.*
Aesthetics are overrated. Rainbows look pretty, but what do they do to improve our lives? No, you should be focusing instead upon functionality, improving your car's performance in some manner. One popular option in these days of increasing gas prices is to install a powerful magnet to allow you to tailgate another car and have them drag you along, letting you take your foot off the gas pedal and save gas. In winter climates, another popular addition is a snow plow. (Don't worry about whether your car is big enough to handle a snow plow, because you can pay extra to get the plow heated, allowing it to melt the snow as fast as it accumulates.) Other options are also available...radar jamming equipment to confuse police car radar guns, a giant whistle which uses the air passing as you drive to produce a screaming sound to encourage the slow drivers in the fast lane to get out of the way, a hide-a-bed hammock which you can pull out during traffic jams to rest in comfort...use your imagination!
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The linguistic confusion to start this post is a perfect example of how the English language is more complicated than it needs to be. Elevator/lift, flat/apartment, spoiler/bumper, chips/crisps, examples abound of where a single language has multiple terms to describe the same thing. If we're speaking the same language, why can't we all just use the same words?0 -
Well the last time the English speaking countries came together to try to solve this issue, there were drinks involved and it was not a nice outcome. The Scot insulted the Irishman’s pronunciation, the Brit wanted the Queen’s English spoken only, the American misjudged the distance and never made it as the invite was in metric, and the Canadian just kept apologizing. Perhaps they’ll try again in 2023.
If you were to learn another language now, what would it be and why?0 -
I can't say for sure. I'd need to do a little research first. That's because I would want a language that ideally no one else knew. Latin and ancient Greek are no good, because there are apparently still some ancient Greeks and Romans around who speak these languages. But the idea is to learn a language that no one else knows. That way, despite my meager mastery of the language, people would still be highly impressed, since they would have no clue. There is of course a slight downside to this idea, that being the lack of anyone else to converse with. But hey, can't have everything.
Why can't I have everything?
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More generally speaking, why can't we have everything?0
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We can't have everything all the time because there's only one everything, which must be shared around the world. Each person gets their one moment in life where they feel they have everything, that the world is just right. The problem comes when a person has already had their turn, but somehow manages to convince the universe to grant them a second time, which denies the opportunity to somebody who has yet to get their turn. Some people just write this up to life not being fair, but I believe this may be a glitch in the Matrix.
If you could click a button and become instantly proficient in a skill, a la the Matrix, what skill would you choose?0 -
So, my first thought was: speed reading! Not like normal speed reading, but speed reading like you see in some movies: leafing through a book in seconds, turning the pages with your mind. Then, I thought... that would be silly. Why not speed skating, or speed boating, or speed baking...? This morning, I realize what skill I'd love to have. As a child, I used to eat some foods by saving the best pieces for last. Like potato chips for example. I would sort the chips and eat the broken ones first, and my last chip would be the best large round golden chip. So, my skill would be the ability to quickly sort foods by size, shape and color, for optimum satisfaction in the consumption of same.
When hiking, wherever that may be, is it better to start at the trail head, or the trail end?0 -
Hiya, Frank - I am going to say 'head' --- that's where all the parking is, right? Unless the trail loops and brings you back to the beginning. Then it's 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other.
What if it takes me so long to come up with a question that someone else answers Frank with a far wittier reply?
Do you consider yourself to be a kind person, and if so, do you feel like being kind to other people leaves you open to new lovely adventures?0 -
I think a better 'wrong' answer is to be dropped off in the middle of the trail. At that point you can hike to the end and then turn around and hike all the way back to the head - where the parking is.frankwbrown wrote: »When hiking, wherever that may be, is it better to start at the trail head, or the trail end?
I am the kindest person I know. It never bothers me when people cut in line ("Do you have more friends who'd like to come up here?") drive aggressively ("What was I thinking - being in your way?") are just generally rude.... you name it - nothing bothers me. And those occasions listed above are adventures unto themselves.LilBitofAugust wrote: »Do you consider yourself to be a kind person, and if so, do you feel like being kind to other people leaves you open to new lovely adventures?
I find myself with no work in August. Where's a great place to take an impromptu August vacation?0 -
Given the heat waves we've been experiencing all over the world, I think a great place for a vacation in August would be Antarctica. It would be a great way to get out of the heat, and it's not too busy this time of year - well, any time of year, really. Alternatively, if you want to embrace global warming and begin acclimating yourself to warmer weather, you could go to Death Valley in California. In August, you can expect the temperature to reach 114°F/46°C during the day and a cool 86°F/30°C at night.
Who else has some great vacation ideas for @cmsienk?
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You ever hear of the expression, "one man's trash is another man's treasure?" Well, the same principle applies to other areas of life: one person's vegetables is another's dessert, one person's fingernails-scraping-blackboard is another's singing-in-the-shower, and of course the most relevant to this conversation, one person's work is another's vacation. If you're wanting to take a vacation away from what you consider to be work, then may I humbly suggest you come here and do MY work instead? It'll be such a refreshing change from what you normally do that you'll be thrilled to death, enjoying every moment. To ensure you feel on vacation and not working, I won't pay you, but I will offer you your choice of beverages from the water fountain (the arcing sip or the vertical water bottle-filler) with a festive little umbrella. My office air conditioning works, too, if you need further incentive to accept my offer rather than @frankwbrown's.LilBitofAugust wrote: »What if it takes me so long to come up with a question that someone else answers Frank with a far wittier reply?
I don't understand the question...are you implying somebody could possibly come up with a response more witty than I can deliver? Surely you jest! It doesn't matter how long it takes me to reply, I can guarantee I am wittier than any other response. For example, that question asked back on page 17? You know the one I'm talking about. My answer today is far better. I just choose not to answer so I don't make everybody else feel bad. I'm a nice guy that way.
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Talking with a coworker, we realized how much our work environment was mirrored in the Dilbert comic strip. Which comic strip does your work (or home) environment most resemble?0 -
I'd like to think Calvin and Hobbes, but then again...
Pogo, Odd Bodkins, Third Wave and Far Side all come to mind.
Next?0 -
Next? Next what? Are you talking about the Nicolas Cage movie "Next" who can see a few seconds into the future and, if necessary, change his words/actions to create a better outcome? Are you hoping this website creates a little "next" button which, upon clicking, skips to the next thread without having to return to the menu page? Are you attempting to convey in a single word the phrase, "Nothing to see here, folks, move along?" Were you hoping to elicit so much confusion in the next person to read your response? Shall we all just throw our hands up into the air in synchronized exasperation?
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I work as a contractor on a military installation. For security reasons, I've never been able to fully discuss what I do with my family. But tomorrow, the base is hosting families on a tour of our facility, and my wife and kids will finally get to see where I've spent the last 13 years. What part of my professional life should I share with them first?1 -
Listening to operatic bagpipe and accordion music really calms me down, so that’s my favorite pastime.
Where do you see yourself working in 5 years?0 -
*Editor's note: Looks like you are answering an older question there, @Pfeniks!*
Now that I'm 45 years old, my eyesight is starting to be noticeably weaker than it used to be. In 5 years, I imagine I will have to be leaning far forward with my face only inches from the computer monitor in order to see what I'm typing. Unless medical science advances to the point of allowing me to get a second round of laser eye surgery to restore my perfect eyesight a second time. (I wore glasses for over 20 years as a youth/young adult...you can't make me go back to wearing them again! No, I refuse!)
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(Now, my question repeated...)
I work as a contractor on a military installation. For security reasons, I've never been able to fully discuss what I do with my family. But tomorrow, the base is hosting families on a tour of our facility, and my wife and kids will finally get to see where I've spent the last 13 years. What part of my professional life should I share with them first?0 -
Show them where the bathroom is. I’m sure you never talk to them about the bathroom, and they’ve probably been wondering for years if you even have one at work. Inquiring minds ———
I really like the kids who mow my lawn. They do a good job! But my niece wants her daughter to do it. My niece lives nearby, and she’s the only relative who does. What should I do?0 -
Apparently this question is so stressful, we've all been avoiding it for the last five days. I think the only answer here is you have to move. Let the new owner of the house decide who mows the lawn going forward. Who wants to live that close to relatives anyway?
I've got some mysterious, creepy-looking, long-stingered insect flying in and out of one of my deck boards. I'm afraid she's laying eggs that'll soon hatch millions more creepy-looking, long-stingered insects. I've already tried the two options below so please think more creativity. How do I get rid of this bug before it moves in its whole family?
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Move somewhere cold. Yeah think this is the only solution. Also, I don't mean like Minnesota/Canada cold I mean Greenland cold. Doubt they have those bugs there. Or if they are I'd like to see them get through your full insulated bear skin jacket to get to you.
How should I spend this beautiful day off? Cloudy weather l, a little muggy, but overall beautiful. Next week in the high 90s so looking to be outdoors. Any suggestions?0 -
I could use some help moving to Greenland. Bring some boxes with you - I'll provide snacks.
Other than helping me move, does anybody have a better suggestion for how our friend should spend her day?1 -
Days off from work are a perfect time to get ahead on work! Work on tomorrow's projects at home, that way when you get back to the office you can then work on the NEXT day's projects, and so on. If you do this every time you get a day off, soon you'll be the star of the office, a full week ahead of your peers.
If you get a week ahead of your peers on work projects, does that qualify as a form of time travel?0
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