WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023
Replies
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dlfk202000 wrote: »Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Karen: I showed my husband the baby and he was delighted with the pictures!
Debbie: I have lost track. Is your MiL frail or ill. Why is your DH always there? You must be totally frustrated by the situation. Hang in there!
Happy Valentine's Day! Thank you to everyone for all your support when I lost the mobile help parts. I appreciate your thoughts very much. This set me back 104.00 and then another 100.00 to overnight mail the base that I did have to send back. So the whole thing was a fiasco. But it is behind me now!
We watch Escape to the Country about the Real Estate in England. We also watch MidSomer Murder which is very good and ran for many seasons..over 20 in Britain. I also put on Penelope Keith's Britain's Hidden Villages and leave it on with the sound turned off just to have the views on in the room!
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia
MIL fell back in June and broke bones in her hand and wrist then fell again(UTI) 3 ribs. At that time, she truly needed someone there all the time. She has gotten better but still WANTS(but doesnt NEED) dh's help all the time. He goes over every morning to give her breakfast, her pills and feed her dog, same thing at night. She is physically capable of doing more for herself but she wants to be waited on.
She is very mean towards him but he continues to wait on her, then complains to me. Is mad now because he is doing all of it himself. I was helping a lot- walking her dog every day, cooking a lot for her, all while she complained about me. Since my accident then surgeries, I have only been there once and I am totally fine with it.
She hates me and hates dh but there is no one else. Her other son, her favorite that still lived with her died in a car accident 11 yrs ago.
She is 86 yrs old. She doesn't want to be alone but has no friends because she has been mean to everyone.
He comes home all pissed because he picks up food(she will not even try it if she knows I cooked it now), and then she won't eat it. I just hope he is using her money to buy all this food for her twice a day, every day. He is mad about throwing so much food away. She tells him not to bother picking up food because she isn't eating anymore. I told him he can't force her to eat. Offer it and if she doesn't want to eat, let her go hungry. It is her choice.
We have tried hiring help to come in so he gets a break but she didn't like the lady. I told him he has to do something. He is beyond the breaking point right now.
I would be happy if we put her in a home which is what she says she wants(but she is expecting one that everyone caters to her every wish-NOT going to happen), clear out her house and rent it out to help cover the cost of the rest home. Don't want to sell her house.
Something needs to happen before something happens to him. All this stress is not good for him- he is diabetic, has high blood pressure. He is a total pessimist and doesn't let things go. He dwells on things forever. He is going to have a heart attack, stroke or do something to himself.
Tracey- didn't have the tacos- son and his girlfriend went out. Dh picked up pizza for his mom and ate over there. I didn't feel like making the tacos just for myself. Dinner ended up being cheesy mashed potatoes and a choc. dipped strawberry that son and his girlfriend made last night.
Tacos tomorrow I guess.
Debbie
I rarely read posts all the way through but when I started to skim your post I had to stop and start over. I didn’t know we had the same mother. Unfortunately, mines a bit worse.
12 -
Machka—Thank you for the news about New Zealand. Long ago, when I was in grade school, a neighbor, Mrs. White, had twin grandsons who were visiting her. They were from New Zealand. They would be in their 70’s by now. I hope they are safe, along with others. 🤞🏻 ❤️2
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Word of the year: APPRECIATE; today I appreciate a warm bowl of oatmeal.#2 Practice fairness today by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: I did this with a camper who I received complaints about. I put myself in his shoes when speaking with him. He was a very lonely man who only had his dogs (one barking, one loose) and the people he meets at campgrounds. Made me more compassionate when talking to him about the dogs.#13. Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness? After I bough myself a Sonic blast to ‘cool down’.
#3 Watch a movie that reminds you of kindness. I watched the Adam Project.
#4 Take a picture of 3 things that make you happy. Send them to a friend. Done!
#5 Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is equally important. Will do today.
#6 Start a conversation with someone new. I do this every day with the campers!
#7 Consider a current struggle. Write down 2 thoughts that give you comfort. My dog Brownie’s heart trouble. Her spells are getting worse and there is nothing the vet can do. Comforting thoughts—She lived a good life with us. She brought us many days of comfort and enjoyment with her loving attitude.
#8. Consider and celebrate diversity today. I am a white girl living among darker Mexicans and native Americans. Campers come from around the world and love to hear the accents and learn about the different cultures i come into contact with. Do this every day!
#9. Identify a role model who embodies perseverance. Can you find two ways to emulate them? My 30 year old autistic nephew. He never gives up no matter what health challenge he faces. I can emulate him by not complaining about every little ache and pain, and by doing what needs to be done to get through any health issues that may come up.
#10. Check an item off your to-do list this weekend. Working on my taxes.
#11. Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver the meal to a friend. We give food to people all the time. My DH cooks and we give food to different campers and workers here at the park almost every day!
#12. Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused. In process!
#14. Express creativity by making art or cooking a new meal. I write in a journal that has writing prompts I have to make up stories for. Yesterday I wrote a short story about a dog leash!
#15. If you are waiting in line today, let someone get in front of you. May not be today, but i did do it on Sunday!#16. The next time someone does something you appreciate, be sure to let them know.
#17. Offer a helping hand to someone, such as holding a door for a stranger.
#18. Share about a recent book you read and what you learned.
#19. Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink.
#20. Complement someone today. Ideas include recognizing a great smile or earrings.
#21. When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support.
#22. Ask for help. That’s a simple way to express bravery.
#23. Encourage your teammates to utilize their unique strengths.
#24. Reflect on the steps you have taken to achieve your past goals.
#25. Express gratitude today by thanking someone.
#26. Think about the upcoming work week. How can you apply teamwork?
#27. Send or leave a handwritten thank you note to someone.
#28. Giving constructive feedback is one way to ignite honesty.
Rita0 -
Response to Kylia in Ohio:
Hormone therapy? Any experiences? Thoughts? Thinking it might be worth checking in to.
I hope your Tuesday was all you hoped for!
Lots of Love,
Kylia in Ohio
Everyone is different, but I started hormone therapy about a year and a half ago for ongoing hot flashes that continued well past my last period. My sleep improved a great deal- I guess the hot flashes were part of my sleep issues. I do toss and turn if too hot and need a cold room to sleep. I had some random joint aches and muscle aches for years that also weirdly improved. I feel much better and am not 100% sure how long I will stay on treatment.4 -
Morning ladies
Here with Miles and to the dentist this afternoon.2 -
Debbie: I have an 87 yo mom who causes me all sorts of worry. I am lucky to live in a college town and had access to 8 free sessions of counseling directed at the family/caregivers of elderly and at risk folks. It did really help me get my own head a bit straighter. I was able to decrease conflict with the ideas she gave me- although my mom is no where near as hard as this. Just won't eat well, won't call if she is falls or is hurt, etc. Still lives on her own and no interest in moving somewhere safer.
It may be there are caregiver support groups or services that could give you a break or help in other ways.
Marie in Colorado2 -
Rosemarie from Georgia, I lost that 60 pounds by doing low-carb/high fat at my doctor’s insistence. I still go to that doctor and I know I need to to that again. I also switched to mostly foods that come unprocessed, like veggies and meat, only berries for fruit. I never even increased my exercise that time. I lost a steady 2 pounds a week on that diet. Then, I strayed due to anxiety issues and family issues ( I eat to quiet my mind and nerves) and put 30 pack on. So far I have lost 4 pounds, more like 1 pound a week. I am not as strict as the first time so slower loss. I kept my carbs below 50 grams a day. Doctor wanted me to stay below 20 grams a day. I did that at first but couldn’t sustain that so went up to 50 grams. Now I’m up to 120 grams a day and think it is too high for me. I am insulin resistant and with the original lost my A1c went from 7.0 down to 5.2 and has stayed there as long as I don’t indulge too much. I have a printout of what I’m supposed to be doing. I will scan and post here at a later time if anyone is interested.
Rita5 -
Hormone therapy I tried it when I first started menopause but almost instantly developed bleeding from my nipple. After surgery to remove the milk ducts was told not to try it again. So tougher out the symptoms of menopause and haven’t taken any until this current doctor. They routinely check my hormones and wanted to start me on some kind of hormone they sponsor. It is something they inject every 6 months. I didn’t want that, so they gave me and DH each prescription cream to use. I used it up but didn’t feel any different. The new PA I saw recommended an over-the-counter vitamin called DHEA which helped me a TON. She still tests hormones and added a test for DHEA. Hormones are now normal for someone my age and DHEA levels are high but ok because I am taking this supplement. Cheaper than the prescription stuff and works for me! May work for someone on this chat too. Give it a try and let us know how you feel on it!
Rita3 -
Hormone Therapy: I had a total hysterectomy at 39 and almost went crazy. Right after that is when my husband left for 6 months. After many months of getting regular hormone shots in addition to taking replacement pills I felt better. I stayed on the pills until early 60's and felt really good. Never had a problem with them.
Carol in GA6 -
As promised:
How I lost 60 pounds. The Cleveland Diet.
Rita5 -
Betsy-Enjoy your trip!
Marie-I am also working on strength, balance and weight loss. I lift weights 4-5 times per week (or do resistance training). I do some sort of "movement" the other days. It may be running/walking, hiking, kayaking....something. I also supplement my weight training with a walk most days. I ultimately do between 60-90 mins of exercise per day. I do feel stronger and my balance is better. Sadly, I don't have any tips for you on the weight loss. I haven't figured out how to do that yet.
So sad to hear about New Zealand.
Hormone Therapy-I did a lot of research about this. I read that if you are going to do it, you should time it as close to the day of menopause as possible. Whether true or not, who knows? I did that and started some bioidentical creams. I didn't feel like they were doing much (not what I wanted), so I talked to my doc. He told me to stop them because if there weren't doing what I wanted them to help with, the risk of negative effects is not worth it. He also said that we have about 5 years of "free pass" after menopause to "experiment" with HRT. After that the risks increase "too much." I've been off them for nearly a month and I feel no difference. He would have considered synthetics if I had been having hot flashes or night sweats, but fortunately, those stopped a while back. Of course, this is relative to me. Your mileage may vary.
As for my other issues, he said to work on less stress, sleeping, exercise, etc. All the things I try to do anyway.
Debbie-I hope you can figure out a solution with your DH and MIL.
Allie-Great health news.
Margaret-Ouch! Hope you feel better soon!
Congrats to Rebecca on the new baby.
Finally made a podiatry appt. First available is end of April. I hope I have my feet issue figured out by then!
I know there were other comments I wanted to make. I had something written and then didn't save it before I had a computer issue. Hugs to those in need and congrats to others.
A Good Day to All!
Tina in CA8 -
Grocery shopping early this morning.
Yesterday went well.
Intentions for today:
📍grocery shopping ✔️
📍Latin translation
📍solid habits
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
4 -
I effectively had HRT. I had problems with migraines, moodiness, and brain fog in perimenopause so I took a steady-state birth control pill. It was the same pill for the whole cycle, which prevented the roller coaster part. I kept taking those through menopause. I had extreme troubles with brain fog which may be unrelated, but the hot flashes were minor. I used to call them warm flushes.
Annie in Delaware2 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »
MIL fell back in June and broke bones in her hand and wrist then fell again(UTI) 3 ribs. At that time, she truly needed someone there all the time. She has gotten better but still WANTS(but doesnt NEED) dh's help all the time. He goes over every morning to give her breakfast, her pills and feed her dog, same thing at night. She is physically capable of doing more for herself but she wants to be waited on.
She is very mean towards him but he continues to wait on her, then complains to me. Is mad now because he is doing all of it himself. I was helping a lot- walking her dog every day, cooking a lot for her, all while she complained about me. Since my accident then surgeries, I have only been there once and I am totally fine with it.
She hates me and hates dh but there is no one else. Her other son, her favorite that still lived with her died in a car accident 11 yrs ago.
She is 86 yrs old. She doesn't want to be alone but has no friends because she has been mean to everyone.
He comes home all pissed because he picks up food(she will not even try it if she knows I cooked it now), and then she won't eat it. I just hope he is using her money to buy all this food for her twice a day, every day. He is mad about throwing so much food away. She tells him not to bother picking up food because she isn't eating anymore. I told him he can't force her to eat. Offer it and if she doesn't want to eat, let her go hungry. It is her choice.
We have tried hiring help to come in so he gets a break but she didn't like the lady. I told him he has to do something. He is beyond the breaking point right now.
I would be happy if we put her in a home which is what she says she wants(but she is expecting one that everyone caters to her every wish-NOT going to happen), clear out her house and rent it out to help cover the cost of the rest home. Don't want to sell her house.
Something needs to happen before something happens to him. All this stress is not good for him- he is diabetic, has high blood pressure. He is a total pessimist and doesn't let things go. He dwells on things forever. He is going to have a heart attack, stroke or do something to himself.
Debbie
I rarely read posts all the way through but when I started to skim your post I had to stop and start over. I didn’t know we had the same mother. Unfortunately, mines a bit worse.
[/quote]
Oh, she is even worse. People dont believe dh when he tells them some of the terrible things she has done/said.
The day after his brother died, she looked dh in the eye and said "Wrong son died!" We found out that day that she had in fact had done what she had threatened to do when he and I got married. She had basically disowned him- taken him out of her will. Then, because there was no one else, changed it to put him in it and didn't understand why he was upset about it. Why be mad, he will get everything now anyways.
She tells anyone who will listen(or is forced to listen to her, like her doctors) that she is all alone, no one to help her, just her and her dog, all this WHILE dh is standing right there, taking her to all her appointments or shopping or out to eat or what ever.
After all this abuse, he still goes over there twice a day and does everything for her.
It is an obligation and nothing more. They are constantly yelling at each other, cussing at each other.
He tells me all the time if something happens to him, for me to make sure she knows it is because of her.
Not like she will understand or "get it".
4 -
1 -
mariekylco wrote: »Debbie: I have an 87 yo mom who causes me all sorts of worry. I am lucky to live in a college town and had access to 8 free sessions of counseling directed at the family/caregivers of elderly and at risk folks. It did really help me get my own head a bit straighter. I was able to decrease conflict with the ideas she gave me- although my mom is no where near as hard as this. Just won't eat well, won't call if she is falls or is hurt, etc. Still lives on her own and no interest in moving somewhere safer.
It may be there are caregiver support groups or services that could give you a break or help in other ways.
Marie in Colorado
I know there is help available but dh has to be the one that asks for help. So far, he finds reasons against every suggestions I make.
He complains about doing everything by himself but won't really try and get any help.
I have asked him many times to go talk to someone-went to counseling once, said it didn't help so not going back. He really NEEDS to talk to someone. Someone who can help him sort things out.
2 -
We were really looking forward to having Edie and Bea tomorrow morning for painting. We heard this afternoon that Edie and my son have a vomiting bug.
Bea had it on Sunday and is now fine, so we will still have her. Max is due to come on Friday, but they are going to keep an eye on him. We don't want to pass on anything to our visitors! We have already cancelled our visitors twice! If he is off colour, he is going home!
Bought my first bunch of daffodils today.
Usually I can buy them in January. I love having a bunch on the dining room table.
Had my hair trimmed. I had a voucher, so got a blow dry as well, instead of just a wet cut. Nice chat with the hairdresser.
I decided today that I would be too sad to sell my gold necklace. I really ought to wear it. I do like it as it's a nice deep gold colour. Instead I raided my savings that I am keeping for my cruise. I do have enough left.
I just want to be able to go to London next week with a clear conscience. Enjoy myself without watching every penny. Of course, DH said he would give me money if I needed it, but .........
Anyway, it's still there if I need it another time.
Big shake up in Scotland.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Here in Connecticut after my MIL passed,my BIL lived with my FIL and remarried his ex so he wouldn't get arrested for elder abuse.
Neither of them really wanted to take care of him.. and we lived an hour away.. i went over on Thursday to do his pills, take him to drs appts and make him food.
Finally I turned them into the state.. also contacted Community care for the elderly. They should have something like that in California.. they had to do an assessment and I need my FIL financials.. but wow what a help it was.. he got to go to adult day care which was a Godsend.. they picked him up and dropped him off. He was still ambulatory at that point.gave him a life alert.. meals on wheels ( he locked them out ) and companions and homemakers 4 hrs each on Saterday and Sunday..and all of that for a portion of his pension i think it was 108.00 a month.. yes I did all the footwork.. but he got the care he needed
And when it came time for the nursing home,I made those decisions too.
Even after Tom and I divorced I was there for hos family,I divorced him..not his family..and I know Buddy was happy I was there with him until his last breath. And that his son was too. At least I taught his son how to show love and compassion to his father..
Well i took my meds i leave in a bit for the dentist.. im phobic.. so im not looking forward to it..but gotta do what ya gotta do
And with no dental insurance should be a doozy.5 -
Allie ~ I am surprised that you are phobic about going to the dentist since I believe you worked as a dental assistant for many years. I am phobic about the dentist too because I have a small mouth and opening wide enough for them to work usually ends up in a lot of pain for me with all the stretching plus the needles for pain.
Carol in GA6 -
Doctors appt well today.
-I got the doctor involved with the request for labs every 6 months. She will monitor no problem.
-got blood pressure meds renewed BP was 127/73 today
-will be getting X-Ray for hands. Possible cysts in both palms. Got Motrin based cream to help with achiness in them.
-got blood and urine labs (felt like a pin cushion). 2 new corpsman tried, finally got the tried and true guy I have always had. He got it no prob.
-got a sleep aide so I can sleep better. Not think about youngest sailor son or solve my worlds problems.
Tomorrow will do X-Ray, and pick up everything. Maybe do mammogram if I need to.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa3 -
Betsy - have a great trip.
I did HRT for about 8 years during perimenopause. Hot flashes were not so bad but could not abide the mood swings. Had minor problems with fibrous cysts as a result. I currently use estradiol in a vaginally inserted tablet for atrophic vaginitis. I have found it also helps with bladder and rectal tone. I have not had any negative side effects.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA2 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »
MIL fell back in June and broke bones in her hand and wrist then fell again(UTI) 3 ribs. At that time, she truly needed someone there all the time. She has gotten better but still WANTS(but doesnt NEED) dh's help all the time. He goes over every morning to give her breakfast, her pills and feed her dog, same thing at night. She is physically capable of doing more for herself but she wants to be waited on.
She is very mean towards him but he continues to wait on her, then complains to me. Is mad now because he is doing all of it himself. I was helping a lot- walking her dog every day, cooking a lot for her, all while she complained about me. Since my accident then surgeries, I have only been there once and I am totally fine with it.
She hates me and hates dh but there is no one else. Her other son, her favorite that still lived with her died in a car accident 11 yrs ago.
She is 86 yrs old. She doesn't want to be alone but has no friends because she has been mean to everyone.
He comes home all pissed because he picks up food(she will not even try it if she knows I cooked it now), and then she won't eat it. I just hope he is using her money to buy all this food for her twice a day, every day. He is mad about throwing so much food away. She tells him not to bother picking up food because she isn't eating anymore. I told him he can't force her to eat. Offer it and if she doesn't want to eat, let her go hungry. It is her choice.
We have tried hiring help to come in so he gets a break but she didn't like the lady. I told him he has to do something. He is beyond the breaking point right now.
I would be happy if we put her in a home which is what she says she wants(but she is expecting one that everyone caters to her every wish-NOT going to happen), clear out her house and rent it out to help cover the cost of the rest home. Don't want to sell her house.
Something needs to happen before something happens to him. All this stress is not good for him- he is diabetic, has high blood pressure. He is a total pessimist and doesn't let things go. He dwells on things forever. He is going to have a heart attack, stroke or do something to himself.
Debbie
I rarely read posts all the way through but when I started to skim your post I had to stop and start over. I didn’t know we had the same mother. Unfortunately, mines a bit worse.
Oh, she is even worse. People dont believe dh when he tells them some of the terrible things she has done/said.
The day after his brother died, she looked dh in the eye and said "Wrong son died!" We found out that day that she had in fact had done what she had threatened to do when he and I got married. She had basically disowned him- taken him out of her will. Then, because there was no one else, changed it to put him in it and didn't understand why he was upset about it. Why be mad, he will get everything now anyways.
She tells anyone who will listen(or is forced to listen to her, like her doctors) that she is all alone, no one to help her, just her and her dog, all this WHILE dh is standing right there, taking her to all her appointments or shopping or out to eat or what ever.
After all this abuse, he still goes over there twice a day and does everything for her.
It is an obligation and nothing more. They are constantly yelling at each other, cussing at each other.
He tells me all the time if something happens to him, for me to make sure she knows it is because of her.
Not like she will understand or "get it".
[/quote]
We DO have the same mother. She disowned me for 10 years. Gurlllll we should talk and compare, see who’s worse. Oh and she’s old school Mexican which makes it all the more worse
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Our son will be coming to see us & our daughter. I hope we have a good visit.7
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Hello ladies!
I did thirty minutes each of yoga and aerobic walking Yay! Now to eat my mango shake and bit of chicken. I should be on track for eating today. But I have cooking to do, so there will be temptation!
I started looking at online forums for Alzheimer's caregivers today. It made me sad to look ahead at my mom's future. I also turned down a chance to visit a friend because I can't be gone overnight. So that part is here now. But things have been okay lately.
Annie in Delaware
Annie in Delaware4 -
Carol- yes I worked at a dental office for 14 yrs, and did a whole bunch of things..and I to have a small mouth ..bless Dr Pete I really do love him and so glad I chose his practice to go to..my back left molar is mostly silver filling and it has shifted as there is no opposing tooth behind. And instead of trying to get 1000.00 for a crown he says just wait and I can pull it when it comes time..
And it only cost me 150.00 this time.. in August ill need xrays so that will be expensive.
But i really like the hygienist and i told her my old boss opened a 2nd practice and let his daughter name it... Unicorn dental.. lord she fell out laughing... glad i could make her day..
Here are a couple of pictures of you know who
6 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 9min 51sec, 25elev, 2.93ap, 89ahr, 104mhr, 3.65mi= 370c
Strava app = 447c
Another walk w/family- 1hr 3min 5sec, 29elev, 2.83ap, 88ahr, 109mhr, 3.02mi= 305c
Strava app = 370c
Total miles 6.67
Total cal 6753 -
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Good news about Vit D. I am up where I need to be. Now I will just do maintenance.6
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