WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023
Replies
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Lisa -
Thanks for the hugs - but right back at ya! ((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
Kim2 -
Whidislander wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies!
I resisted the first of the Valentine's chocolate Yay!
Annie in Delaware
I have resisted too, but I am known to grab a Cadbury egg every now and then!😜💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
I got three kinds of the Christmas hard candy when I helped at the food program. They reminded mom and i of my grandma(her mom) She always had a bowl of that candy around. I got mini ribbon candy, filled hard candy and the "cut rock" candy. I am limiting myself to a few pieces at a time and just suck on them so they last. I am sure I am eating more than I should
Hard candy is nice because it helps with portion control. I buy sugar free jolly ranchers, and lemon drops for husband and I.👍🏻
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
Just remember that it's about 30 calories a piece.
That doesn't sound like much, but if a person at 5 of them, that's 150 calories.
That's a reasonable portion of a 1200 calorie/day diet.
I googled them because I didn't have the wrapper. They are 35 calories for 4 pieces. I usually have one or two pieces every couple of days, so that's pretty good.💖👍🏻
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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minicooper452 wrote: »(((hugs))) to those who need them.
So true, Rebecca, the military treats you great while you're serving, but you get basically nothing once you get out.
Tracey, that is an amazing transformation! I don't think I've every heard of that app, Beth.
13-Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness... oh yeah, and never got an acknowledgement of any kind. So much for apologies. But I'll never stop trying.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
Funny story, my husband retired after 20 years serving, and we decide to attend a Renaissance faire type camping event up on the border of Canada. I was almost 7 months pregnant with 3rd son. So we go up there, seeing family along the way, life is peachy. Then payday comes and we don't get paid. No retirement money. Husband had to contact the pay guy on the ship, asking what was up. Turned out the just processed him out of the Navy and didn't put in the retirement part. I was pregnant, couldn't go on base at Travis to go to my doctors appointments, Travis was about 115' in August. I was like, "husband retirement s*u*c*k*s! And you have moved me to h*ell.😜😂😂. I was not a happy pregnant lady! But he finally got us on track and life went on!
I notice as we have gotten older,b the benefits of being retired come more into play. Husband is on Tricare for Life, and co payments for both of us is not a thing. Well we have access to the on base clinic and pharmacy too, so that's a blessing. My emergency room visit in October was 10K, but I paid $67 after Tricare processed it. My surgery to remove my gallbladder was 24K and my bill was $67 for that too. So that's cool! Now if I made a habit of visiting the ER well it would cost an arm and a leg.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa5 -
Word of the year: APPRECIATE; today I appreciate my MuckLuck socks!#2 Practice fairness today by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: I did this with a camper who I received complaints about. I put myself in his shoes when speaking with him. He was a very lonely man who only had his dogs (one barking, one loose) and the people he meets at campgrounds. Made me more compassionate when talking to him about the dogs.#11. Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver the meal to a friend. We give food to people all the time. My DH cooks and we give food to different campers and workers here at the park almost every day!
#3 Watch a movie that reminds you of kindness. I watched the Adam Project.
#4 Take a picture of 3 things that make you happy. Send them to a friend. Done!
#5 Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is equally important. Will do today.
#6 Start a conversation with someone new. I do this every day with the campers!
#7 Consider a current struggle. Write down 2 thoughts that give you comfort. My dog Brownie’s heart trouble. Her spells are getting worse and there is nothing the vet can do. Comforting thoughts—She lived a good life with us. She brought us many days of comfort and enjoyment with her loving attitude.
#8. Consider and celebrate diversity today. I am a white girl living among darker Mexicans and native Americans. Campers come from around the world and love to hear the accents and learn about the different cultures i come into contact with. Do this every day!
#9. Identify a role model who embodies perseverance. Can you find two ways to emulate them? My 30 year old autistic nephew. He never gives up no matter what health challenge he faces. I can emulate him by not complaining about every little ache and pain, and by doing what needs to be done to get through any health issues that may come up.
#10. Check an item off your to-do list this weekend. Working on my taxes.
#12. Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused. In process!
#13. Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness? After I bough myself a Sonic blast to ‘cool down’.#14. Express creativity by making art or cooking a new meal.
#15. If you are waiting in line today, let someone get in front of you.
#16. The next time someone does something you appreciate, be sure to let them know.
#17. Offer a helping hand to someone, such as holding a door for a stranger.
#18. Share about a recent book you read and what you learned.
#19. Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink.
#20. Complement someone today. Ideas include recognizing a great smile or earrings.
#21. When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support.
#22. Ask for help. That’s a simple way to express bravery.
#23. Encourage your teammates to utilize their unique strengths.
#24. Reflect on the steps you have taken to achieve your past goals.
#25. Express gratitude today by thanking someone.
#26. Think about the upcoming work week. How can you apply teamwork?
#27. Send or leave a handwritten thank you note to someone.
#28. Giving constructive feedback is one way to ignite honesty.
Rita2 -
Welcome back to the two returnee’s! Also Welcome to the new bees! I’ve been here since the beginning so you may remember me. I now like in NM living in a camper at a State Park which my husband and I keep up. (Volunteering for a free site, but doing much more than our job description!) Since I joined this chat, I’ve lived in CT, then TN then CT, and now in NM. I love traveling and love what we are doing now. I am 66 (soon to be 67) YO and DH is 69 YO. I also teach adults how to use a computer and computer safety. My highest weight was 210 and I keep that as my start weight because it reminds me I never want to be there again! I lost 60 pounds, then Covid and life happens and put 30 of that 60 back on, so am working to lose that. Much slower this time.
I love this group and it is the only one I belong too. My suggestion? Read daily, post when you can and don’t worry if you skip. This is a safe place to vent, celebrate, and just chat. Hope to see you on here often!
RVRita in NM6 -
Whidislander wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies!
I resisted the first of the Valentine's chocolate Yay!
Annie in Delaware
I have resisted too, but I am known to grab a Cadbury egg every now and then!😜💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
I got three kinds of the Christmas hard candy when I helped at the food program. They reminded mom and i of my grandma(her mom) She always had a bowl of that candy around. I got mini ribbon candy, filled hard candy and the "cut rock" candy. I am limiting myself to a few pieces at a time and just suck on them so they last. I am sure I am eating more than I should
Hard candy is nice because it helps with portion control. I buy sugar free jolly ranchers, and lemon drops for husband and I.👍🏻
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
no sugar free candy for me after my near accident while in the middle of the wetlands. I will cut back on the amount and stick with the real stuff.
I get my little "midget" Tupperware container that holds a small amount when I want something sweet. They are really hard so can't bite them so they do last a long time. Not a fan of all the flavors but they aren't bad(don't care for cherry or orange)
I have had them over a week and still have more than half the bag left.
3-4 pieces will last a while then I don't want any more.1 -
Hello ladies!
I don't do well with candy. As soon as I break down and have one portion, the rest mysteriously disappear.
I was dog sitting at a house that had bowls of M&Ms once. Disaster. The owners told me they never ate them at all. They needed something to throw at the geese that got into the garden, something non-lethal and biodegradable that would fit in a slingshot. So think how many geese I saved!
Annie in Delaware3 -
Whidislander wrote: »minicooper452 wrote: »(((hugs))) to those who need them.
So true, Rebecca, the military treats you great while you're serving, but you get basically nothing once you get out.
Tracey, that is an amazing transformation! I don't think I've every heard of that app, Beth.
13-Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness... oh yeah, and never got an acknowledgement of any kind. So much for apologies. But I'll never stop trying.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
Funny story, my husband retired after 20 years serving, and we decide to attend a Renaissance faire type camping event up on the border of Canada. I was almost 7 months pregnant with 3rd son. So we go up there, seeing family along the way, life is peachy. Then payday comes and we don't get paid. No retirement money. Husband had to contact the pay guy on the ship, asking what was up. Turned out the just processed him out of the Navy and didn't put in the retirement part. I was pregnant, couldn't go on base at Travis to go to my doctors appointments, Travis was about 115' in August. I was like, "husband retirement s*u*c*k*s! And you have moved me to h*ell.😜😂😂. I was not a happy pregnant lady! But he finally got us on track and life went on!
I notice as we have gotten older,b the benefits of being retired come more into play. Husband is on Tricare for Life, and co payments for both of us is not a thing. Well we have access to the on base clinic and pharmacy too, so that's a blessing. My emergency room visit in October was 10K, but I paid $67 after Tricare processed it. My surgery to remove my gallbladder was 24K and my bill was $67 for that too. So that's cool! Now if I made a habit of visiting the ER well it would cost an arm and a leg.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
We had issues with our medical when dh retired from Safeway. (and each time he changes his status. Right now he is back considered active because he is working more than 96 hrs a month, retiree is no more than 63).
The first time they messed up, it was the day of my pre-op appointment for my first cataract surgery. I get to Kaiser, a little nervous and the lady loudly says , with a waiting room full of patients, that I don't have ANY coverage. I called dh right away, freaking out. The union had messed up.
They still can't get my birthdate right, no matter how many times he tries to change it. He messed up when he signed me up over 30 yrs ago. It is off by one day. He had it changed for a short time but when his status changed, it is messed up again. Now, I just give them the wrong one and everything is fine. I tease dh that I have to give one of my best friend's birthday instead of mine(she is a day older than me)
For now, he is still on active because they need him and they haven't put the restrictions back in. As long as he gets 96 a month, they pay his medical, it is better coverage and all of our meds are reimbursed. Will take advantage of all that for as long as we can.
For all my appointments, including the removal and then the skin graft/reconstruction from melanoma, we have not been charged anything. With the retiree medical, I think we would have been charged $1600. I am thinking that because I got two emails at the same time, saying we may be charged nothing and then the other was we may be charged $1600. So far, I have not paid anything. No co-pay at any of the 11 appointments
Debbie
2 -
Annie, Gretchen Rubin talks about some people being moderators and others being abstainers. I am an abstainer. I know how to eat no candy and I know how to eat the whole package but I have no idea of how to eat just one or two pieces. Once I figured that out about myself, it made it much easier for me to deal with troublesome foods. In social situations, when offered these troublesome foods, I say "no thank you, that's not my food". In the same way that sober alcoholics decline alcohol offered to them and celiac people decline foods with wheat and people with peanut or shellfish allergies decline those foods, I stay away from several foods that I can't eat in moderation.
Barbie in NW CA6 -
Zoom was its usual mixture of curiosity and frustration. I always need a drink afterwards. My difficult friend always annoys me. I read calming quotes on my phone while we were online. Otherwise, it's great to keep in touch with far-flung friends.
Quizzy night on the TV. DH enjoys it. May watch recorded Vera afterwards.
Unfortunately, I accidentally poured too much lemon juice on DH'S falafel etc. They have removed the plastic pouring insert, for environmental reasons, but I forgot! He was not amused. I thoroughly enjoyed mine. I couldn't swap them because mine had lots of chilli on it!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
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This is what I was reading during the Zoom call.
Heather UK xxxxxx7 -
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Allie--Great news from the heart doctor. Sounds interesting about the transplant list and your kidneys. I am glad they are checking into it as I know here you have to be on dialysis to even be considered to be put on the list.
Katiebug--Sending HUGS and Prayers.
Tracey--Sorry DH is having a hard time with his loss. I think the idea of having the girls over and enjoying his dad's music is a great idea and talking about memories. Sending hugs and prayers.
Betsy--Great news about your sister. Hope you and your son have a good trip and share photos.
Rebecca--Love the gnomes. So cute. Sounds like you had a good visit with 2 of your sons. That always makes a day better. I think you take a very nice picture. Congradulations on the new grandbaby. We went to the gender reveal they did for my DGS and wife. They are having a boy. So I will get started on the baby blanket and Christmas stocking. I am excited as this is their first.
Carol--Sending prayers that DH's test come out ok.
Tina--Sounds like you are stuck in a rough place. Sending prayers and hugs.
Rosemarie--Hope you can the missing pieces. I know the feeling very well of putting something away and then when I need it I can not find it. Drives me nuts also.
I have been feeling really off lately. So Saturday we did not go to my brother's surprise party. I just wasn't in the mood to be around people. We did go out later in the afternoon to watch DGS do gender reveal, but didn't stick around after to visit. Last evening we went to church and watched part of the superbowl. Left in the 3rd quarter as knew I had to get up early for work. During half time they showed a christain comedian video's.
Well ladies I have gone on longer than I should of. Take care.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE where it is 50degrees today, rain tomorrow and snow the next day.8 -
Allie--Great news from the heart doctor. Sounds interesting about the transplant list and your kidneys. I am glad they are checking into it as I know here you have to be on dialysis to even be considered to be put on the list.
Katiebug--Sending HUGS and Prayers.
Tracey--Sorry DH is having a hard time with his loss. I think the idea of having the girls over and enjoying his dad's music is a great idea and talking about memories. Sending hugs and prayers.
Betsy--Great news about your sister. Hope you and your son have a good trip and share photos.
Rebecca--Love the gnomes. So cute. Sounds like you had a good visit with 2 of your sons. That always makes a day better. I think you take a very nice picture. Congradulations on the new grandbaby. We went to the gender reveal they did for my DGS and wife. They are having a boy. So I will get started on the baby blanket and Christmas stocking. I am excited as this is their first.
Carol--Sending prayers that DH's test come out ok.
Tina--Sounds like you are stuck in a rough place. Sending prayers and hugs.
Rosemarie--Hope you can the missing pieces. I know the feeling very well of putting something away and then when I need it I can not find it. Drives me nuts also.
I have been feeling really off lately. So Saturday we did not go to my brother's surprise party. I just wasn't in the mood to be around people. We did go out later in the afternoon to watch DGS do gender reveal, but didn't stick around after to visit. Last evening we went to church and watched part of the superbowl. Left in the 3rd quarter as knew I had to get up early for work. During half time they showed a christain comedian video's.
Well ladies I have gone on longer than I should of. Take care.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE where it is 50degrees today, rain tomorrow and snow the next day.
Congrats!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa0 -
1
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Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 58min 58sec, 54elev, 2.98ap, 98ahr, 114mhr, 6.02mi= 644c
Strava app = 737c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 37.49min, 561elev, 127aw, 19.3amph, 116ahr, 146mhr, 40gear, 12.17mi= 269c
Strava app = 274c
Zwift stats- 37.46min, 563elev, 126aw, 48arpm, 19.38amph, 12.2mi= 275c
Other- 30min, wash and dry Lucy and Chispa = 140c
Total cal 10531 -
SophieRosieMom wrote: »Happy Monday ladies!
I tried to keep up with all the comments and replied to many of them in my head.
Tracey - that photo enhancer is remarkable! Yes, Rodger's dad was very handsome. Is that Rodger there with him?
Barbie - so true. Being released from anger and resentment by forgiveness is a gift we can give ourselves.
Rosemarie - hope the elves that hid those parts do the right thing and put them back where you can find them. I will admit I looked for 2 days for a package of dried cranberries I bought. When I finally gave up and put them back on the grocery list, I happened to look in the cupboard where they belonged and there they were, hiding in plain sight. Infuriating.
I decided I finally had my fill of waking up and getting up at 1 or 2 am. Granted, I'm in bed between 6 and 7 pm most nights but watch Vera or some video on the little tablet. Then when I'm too tired to watch I switch to a podcast and let that chatter in my ear as I drift off.
Well, I've been watching a series called "The Human Longevity Project" that dives into different aspects of our lives that age us. What/when/how much we eat, exercise, etc. The one I watched yesterday talked about sleep. And how the LED lights we've all converted to don't put out the spectrum our eyes need in order to produce melatonin, heal, boost our immune system, etc. Light coming through windows is filtered by the glass, so it doesn't do the trick. So the solution is to get outside when the sun first comes up for 15 or 20 minutes and that wakes up our brain and gets the right hormones going. And getting out in the sun for periods during the day.
My DH always went out early in the morning when the sun was coming up, would sit under the shop porch roof for 10 and 15 minutes and watch the birds, the sky, and pet the cat. He never had any problems sleeping. Hmmm.
This isn't the first time I've heard about the benefits of "yellow" light, the light also puts out heat such as incandescent lights, sunlight of course, the fire in the woodstove or fireplace, and so forth.
I still have a small stash of incandescent bulbs so replaced the LED light in the living room with one. And turned off the tablet at 7, no switching to a podcast to lull me to sleep.
I got 8 hours of good sleep. Let's hope for a repeat tonight.
COFFEE - who among you drinks instant coffee? I decided to give my little Mr. Coffee a rest and opened a can of Taster's Choice instant. Instant coffee is all my parents and grandparents drank. It's fine!
CHICKENS - Saturday the weather was nice so I cleaned out the greenhouse, measured this and that, thought if I was going to put a couple chickens in here, what would I need to do? Add some chicken wire, reinforce the door, make the
Kim - I'm aware of how livestock ties a person down and how hard it is to find a minder. We had an unfortunate experience one time when we were gone for several days - our minder couldn't follow simple written instructions - and after that, we decided one of us would always be home to care for the sheep and chickens. An emergency - even my dog would take some last-minute planning. My cleaner is close by, Rosie knows her, so she agreed to whip over here and feed her and let her out if need be. She also has chickens.
Again, early days for chickens.
GARDEN - Part of cleaning out the greenhouse was doing planting pot inventory, seeing how many large ones I have for container gardening. I'm going to grab a few more large resin pots when I'm in town and should be set for what I want to have on hand.
OK, it's getting light out so will bundle up and head out with Rosie for a few minutes.
Make it a wonderful week!
Lanette
SW WA State
Yellow light ... I have my laptop set so that it goes yellow at 11pm and my phone is always on a yellow-ish setting.
I also end up in morning sun during my commute to work.
Coffee ... in Australia you've got 2 choices: instant or super strong Italian coffee.
There are a few other choices you might come across occasionally but the first 2 are the most common by far.
I drink instant at home and work, and I will have the Italian coffee occasionally if I am in a Cafe.
Chickens ... I don't think I would get them where we live now. Not really enough room. But if we were ever to move to a small town again, we'd consider them. Lots of people in the small towns have chickens, goats, etc.
Garden ... some of our garden is in pots. In several spots it has been easier to do that.
M in Oz3 -
Afternoon ladies
Went to the mall to pick up a dress,not what I wanted..so returned it..I did go to Target and picked up a few books and one of those rolling popper things for Miles.. remember those for the kids thing with a handle with the balls that pop.. Big hit 😁
Have a dentist appointment on Wednesday afternoon, im phobic so might have to take a little something before i go..
And what Barbie said- I forgave Tom not for him,but for me.. and I get along with his girlfriend so thats ok too.
3 -
Dh just checked the union website- Retiree restrictions will be back in place as of March 1st. They were supposed to be lifted for only a few months. It has been almost two years.
It has been great to have the extra money and benefits but he is ready for the restrictions to be back in. He will be back to working just 15 hrs a week instead of 25-30 or more. He wants to work two days a week. Work two and have five off.
Now his mom will expect him to be over there with her even more- He has to be the one to tell her no.
Debbie4 -
The plan for tomorrow is to do a band DVD (I forget the exact name and already packed the calendar). Then we leave!!!! I probably won’t log, but I’ll be taking my own food with me
strongerfaith – you are doing it! Welcome back
Viv and Barbara – I have to exercise first thing in the morning, too, or else it doesn’t get done. The only exception is that I go to the gym usually on Tuesdays. But I HAVE to go right from work. If I come home for anything, it’s gone
Rebecca – I know your son and his wife will make Athena feel good
Rosemarie – silly as this may sound – have you looked in the refrigerator/freezer???
Lisa – we exercise so that we have big shoulders for others to lean on.
Anne DE – lol geese. Vince worked for Mars, Inc. and my kids always complained that daddy worked for a candy company and I didn’t have much candy in the house.
By the time we got home from bowling and then CVS, packed the car, we’ll have dinner and, unfortunately, it gets dark so early that I probably won’t have time for a walk. Boo…..
Michele NC
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Lanette-my son was telling me about the early morning light. He believes it does make a difference. My problem is work! However, I am going to try when it get light earlier to go on just a quick 15 minute walk before work. Had not heard about LEDs. Interesting stuff.
Kylia-our weather has been crazy! Loved my walks yesterday and late this pm after work. Yesterday I went out mid-afternoon-ended up taking off my jacket-and I was wearing short sleeves.
Heather-I have to ask-there is a home buying program here called "Escape to the Country." It's about looking for houses in the English country side. Is it actually a show in the UK-or just something to amuse us on this side of the pond? I do like seeing the different homes.
Debbie-you are correct-some of the "sugarless" products have some ingredients that can keep us regular (sometimes very quickly). Caution is needed!
Well, I had hoped to get some stuff for work done tonight, but got my walk in, had dinner and got on here. Was up around 4:30 this am. Totally exhausted now. However, we did come to tentative agreement with union, handled a couple of Hr issues, met some new staff, had to call squad for staff member who fell (she is extremely heavy-over 500-so we could not help her get up), had tough discussion with someone who is causing issues with poor performance. While it is a bit early-going in to read.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
8 -
Barbara - it’s funny you said magic about the Photomyne app. When it’s doing its thing it says “waiting for the magic” or something to that effect.
Ginny - we need a new mattress too. I noticed my back is more sore after being back home than it was in NB. Funnily enough the cheap old mattresses didn’t hurt as much as my nice pillow top one.
Kylia - having days like that are good for the soul. Enjoy them.
We had springlike weather here the last few days too. I know it’s all just a tease, but it felt nice just the same.
Lisa - Hugs hope you are back to yourself soon.
Lanette - that is Rodger. I need to find a picture of Rodger and his Dad as young men. There is no doubt they are Father and son.
Very interesting about the lights and sleep. I may have to look into that.
My in laws only drank instant coffee. I forgot how much I enjoyed it until I had it while I was there
Barbie - I must be an abstainer too. If I can avoid it I don’t want it. As soon as I do I want it all plus more.
Vicki - I hope you feel yourself again soon.
Ginny - I went to bed early the last few nights so I could read.
My “wonderful” (insert sarcasm here) boss is not allowing me to have lieu time for two of the days that I was away. She is on a medical leave and should not be having any say in anything but is now allowing the girl filling in for her to make any decisions. The girl that is filling in and my direct supervisor both know that I have the time and are upset they are being out in this position.
I am going to attempt to make up some time so I don’t have a pay with two less days. It infuriates me that I’m having to do this when I know rightfully I am owed at least 2 weeks still from the payroll program switchover. I will make sure that I start tracking my hours religiously again.
I wish she would just retire.
I think I’ll take a page out of Ginny’s book and tuck in to read early this evening.
Tracey in Edmonton
6 -
Well I left my exercise for tonight and then forgot that my Buddhist book study group was tonight because of the Superbowl. And now it's too late for exercise. I am slightly under calories for today, so another neutral deficit day.
At least I am managing to avoid the Valentine's Day candy. Yes I am an abstainer.
Lisa we miss you! Hope you are doing okay. Come back when you are ready.
Annie in Delaware5 -
Jake got a phone call from one of his friends that he can talk to for an hour so instead of watching TV together, I'm listening to a playlist of favorite songs on my phone. One of the best gifts I ever bought for myself was a 4G memory card for the first phone I got that could play music (a Sony Walkman phone in 2004). The card has been transferred into every phone I've gotten since. I am a minimalist in music. I have loved so many songs for so many years (decades) so the music is long lasting. I rarely buy anything new. Tonight I am listening to Peter Paul and Mary, John Denver, Joan Baez, John Prine, Leonard Cohen, Barry Manilow, Simon and Garfunkel, Gordon Lightfoot, Neil Diamond, Judy Collins, Billy Joel and others from many years ago, Life doesn't get much better than this.
Barbie in NW WA10 -
Barbie— I like your music choices. They’re full of good memories. 😊 👍🏻1
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »
Love Heather UK xxxxxx 😘
Could not agree more. I spent almost a decade of futility doing this with my first husband.
It turned out he didn’t want to get married and kept a secret of the truth until we had been married about 8 or 9 years when it came out in therapy.
I am not sure why I didn’t “hear” him all that time. He told me in a thousand ways he didn’t want to be married to me.
Not sure if it was ego (what’s not to love ) or naïveté or something else (stubbornness, maybe, or wanting to stay married for the sake of our son), but I was shocked when he told me he had never wanted to be married to me.
It was 1971 when he proposed. He was 18, and I was 17.
His draft number was 9, and he asked me to marry him before he went off to die in Vietnam. He was drunk. I said no. When he sobered up, I said yes. We married in September 1972.
He didn’t tell me he changed his mind when he sobered up.
I was so young and dumb. I loved him, and to be honest, I didn’t think anyone else would ever love me.
Karen in Virginia8
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