WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023

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  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Up early again. City turned our water off at 8AM again today- We got the notice last week after they had it off all day Thursday. Not exactly sure what they are doing. Needed to get a few things done before the water went off- made sure I have plenty of water ready for my tea. Other things can wait like laundry but have to have my tea all day long.
    It is supposed to rain again today(and most of the next ten days at least). I don't mind the rain but do miss my walks. I know I could get out there and walk in the rain but it is the cold wind that is along with the rain that makes it too much for me.
    I will just work a bit harder in class tonight.
    Need to really work my shoulder. It has been hurting/crackling the past few days. I have learned from experience to work it when it hurts(usually in a hot shower) and not just let it rest. I had frozen shoulder a few years ago. Didn't know what it was so until I went and got it checked I babied it and didn't move it.
    By the time I did get it checked by the dr and got the MRI, it was frozen completely and PT was rough to get it back. Thankfully that worked and no surgery was needed. Now, if it gets a bit achy, I start really pushing it.
    Need to check the freezer to see what I should make for dinner tonight. Something in the pressure cooker most likely so it is ready when everyone wants to eat.
    Yesterday I cooked three different things for dinner- jalapeno burgers for son and his girlfriend, steak/rice/corn for dh and his mom and chicken breast tenders for on my salad. Kids ate all four burgers and dh ate his steak. He said his mom wouldn't eat any of the food(did a plate of steak, chicken, rice and corn, and she had told him to get the steak because she wanted it when he told her we were going shopping). Hope she eats it today. Tired of buying food, cooking it and hearing him tell me he just throws it in the garbage because she doesn't want to eat it.
    I do have some chicken left so may do a pasta with chicken for tonight. That is hours away- barely even 9AM.

    Debbie
    Napa Valley,CA
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 3,820 Member
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    grandmallie wrote: »
    Morning ladies
    Here with Miles ,he is out like a light...waiting on the weather to come in.. oh well im not to worried..
    Wind and rain mostly but some heavy wet snow in the higher elevations.. you know how the news is they hype it all up
    I guess Rich,the kids dad ended up in the hospital last night..he went for routine bloodwork last week and had a new phlebotomist who messed up and he ended up with a blood clot in his arm and and has been in alot of pain. Poor guy.. guess Dan is going to pick him up over at the hospital and take him home..

    I’m confused. Which kids is Rich the dad of?

    RVRita 🤪
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,938 Member
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    LisaInArkansas wrote: »

    Tracey - I love pictures of Michaela, she looks very calm and quietly happy. Corey and I would have the same reaction to the long hair on your grandson, good idea not to respond at all. I do know that kids affect marriages in some interesting ways. I think part of the reason my first marriage never really matured into a deep and loving relationship (besides the fact that we both came into it damaged by abuse) was because I was barren. We didn't adopt, as there were just so many barriers that we gave up quickly. Different religions (he was Catholic and I was a heathen), so the churches wouldn't talk to us, state agencies wouldn't talk to us because we were military and could move at any moment (this was the early 1980s), and we both worked because otherwise we would have been poor as churchmice. Still didn't have the money the private agencies demanded. Because of not having kids, we never had to keep another person alive by our actions. I think it made it easier for us to be selfish and not too bright financially.



    Later, my dears,
    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR


    Infertility issues really do affect a marriage. I thought that was the reason first hubby left me- he hated the things he had to go/test they did on him which were nothing compared to what I went through.
    Current dh really shut me out during the treatment when we were trying. He finally told me years later it was because he felt all I wanted him for was to make a baby. Yes, I needed him for that. I had always wanted nothing more than to be a wife and a mom. He still holds that grudge to this day over 25yrs later(and still treats me like a room mate, at best).
    We did do the adoption route after Kaiser wouldn't do any more cycles of treatment unless we went more extensive and as you said, way too expensive. We signed up to be foster parents to do the fost/adopt route. We were totally blessed to get that call as they rushed our paperwork through(didn't know why they were rushing at the time). I still remember the words our worker said , "Would you like to meet and pick up your son TOMORROW" . We had less than 24 hrs. He was our first placement and was not foster care. Straight to adoption. Both parents relinquished at birth. He was totally healthy just a bit preemie and the nationality we had picked. We had picked one that would look more like dh because that is how our child would look if we were able to have one. All the things our teacher in the classes we had to take said would never happen. He was just a week and a half old. My little "sack of sugar"- just 5lbs.
    We did do other fosters but were never able to adopt another one. Kept being told we were on the wrong list. I am great with just the one. We had some really rough teen age years but he is amazing now and we are very close. Dh wasn't really involved with him for most of the time while he was growing up and if he was, it wasn't in a good way(during those teen age years) so son is not really close with dh like dh thinks he should be.

    Debbie

  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,335 Member
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    Did an extreme strength DVD today. The plan for tomorrow is to do an Extreme Cardio DVD. After exercise went to WalMart since Vince said we needed more cat litter and he needed soda. I’m really trying to use up as much food as possible. So I asked him just to have the cheerios. I have two boxes of them. After walMart stopped at the dollar store to get more freeze dried fruit. That’s something I can leave down here.

    I’ve been working on this xstitch for Jess. I was about 80% done and last night I made a stupid, stupid mistake and there’s no way I can fix it. So I’m just going to have to start it from scratch. Grrrrrr…..

    Where is my last post?????

    Tracey – when Vince and I got married, he had long hair. My father absolutely hated it and let us know in no uncertain terms. My grandmother (his mother) just said “leave him alone, he has good manners”. So you’re doing well just leaving your grandson alone about his hair. It’s just hair.

    Carol – you hadn’t posted about your husband so I assumed he was better. What’s going on?

    Melanie – good luck at your appointment. I know that protein really fills me up. When we go somewhere, Vince usually gets hungry before I do. He only has cereal for breakfast whereas I might have eggs

    norrkat – welcome

    Lanette – glad you got Rosie back

    Well, better get started on the new thing for Jess

    Michele where it’s rainy one minute and the sun is out the next
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,444 Member
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    💖
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,196 Member
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    Nice to see you , Ginny! I love to put a face to a name. And your grandson looks like a nice young guy. :D

    Carol - So many worries. Would it help to tell us about them? I'd forgotten about your husband. Sending hugs. <3
    Getting old is not for wimps.

    Had a good, long chat with L. Her weekend with a (very) old flame was not a success! Men get very set in their ways when they get old. He spent most of the time looking at his tablet, even when they were eating! She did not enjoy it much.

    Not feeling entirely 100% . Hope I'm better by tomorrow for Bea's teaparty at Fatto.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,938 Member
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    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    Good morning ladies!


    Early morning walks alone and outdoor jobs:
    Too rainy for me to walk today but I'll do my SWSY and elliptical. I've been really looking forward to my early morning "greet the sun" walks.

    I'm in the process of weaning away from daily walking with my neighbor, at least for now. During Covid isolation and before DH passed, we had a fairly set schedule and were walking daily it seems. I guess it was the one thing we (I) could control in a world out of control and my situation with DH.

    Now, I realize I don't want or need a schedule anymore. I'm starting to resent any hint of being tied to someone else's schedule, especially when I have a list of tasks I really want to get done in this crazy weather.

    And when I walk by myself, I'm not really walking alone, I'm "walking with the planning committee in my head." :D I think about the challenges I have with cleaning up my garden and property. Think about how DH would have done it, I remember the steps he went through. And what I learned in my Master Gardener's training. I like to see other people's yards and take mental notes. Can't do it when walking and chatting with someone else.

    What some widows might see as a burden, I see as a wonderful chance to make a difference here in my back yard cleaning up the "jungle", getting things up to snuff little by little. As long as my health holds out - I know there are ladies who aren't physically able to do these jobs and I am grateful every day I can do things without my back or knees complaining. It might be different tomorrow! So I seize the day and grab the weedeater.

    I get immense pleasure out of seeing even minor tasks completed, things finished, figuring out the next step. The retired manager in me kicks back into life and my "staff" (mower, shovel, rake) doesn't talk back, call in sick or threaten to turn me in to the union, lol.

    I've been thinking about some valuable advice you ladies gave me. Here's an example. They've been very helpful as I've had to negotiate life by myself for almost a year now.

    1.) Set boundaries.
    2.) It's OK to say no.
    3.) It's OK to change my mind.

    OK better get going.

    Make it a wonderful week! <3

    Lanette <3
    SW WA State

    You sound so much like my mom. Of course she misses dad like crazy-they were married just months shy of 65 yrs but she is enjoying, as you said "getting things up to snuff little by little"
    Some of the changes she has made are hard for me to see/understand but it is her choice. I have learned to let her do her thing and just gently suggest some things but not push or she gets irritated with me-thinking I am telling her what to do.
    She now stays up as late as she wants instead of having my dad keep asking her if she is coming to bed soon. She can watch her crime dramas like she enjoys instead of the news or Animal Planet.

    I too am getting tired of being on someone elses schedule, in regards to my daycare girl. I only have her 3-4 hrs a day four days a week BUT I have to be here at a certain time in the middle of the day to go pick her up from school. I have her M/T/W/F- would rather have M or F off instead of TH but that is the day her mom is off. I will only have her until Sept when she starts first grade and is in school all day. SO looking forward to at least a 3 month break. I will look for another daycare kid after that, just to keep the tax write offs but will be on my schedule.

    Debbie


  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,938 Member
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    all ready to bundle up in all my rain gear to walk the wetlands while waiting for Ezie to get out of school and I notice a text from her mom. Ezie didn't go to school but her grandma may need to drop her off for a few hours. Glad I checked it before leaving.
    I will have to wait until tomorrow to check the water levels around the wetlands. Will wear rain boots/coat and pants and explore then.
    At least I have class tonight.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,196 Member
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    Thank you Carol, for telling us about your worries. It must be very hard after such a long marriage. I know you have family, so could you get help from them.? Do you have Power of Attorney? Maybe your children could approach him about this? My DH won't hear of it at the moment, but he does know he is getting older!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Joy1580vb
    Joy1580vb Posts: 283 Member
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    Wow...this thread moves fast! Lanette had to scroll back and see who the vet Melanie was. Somehow I missed that post. On another farm note (yes, I know it can be a boring subject) we had cattle too when we started farming. Melanie, we had Salers crossed with Herefords. They could be very protective at calving and found we had to be pretty nimble at times.
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,328 Member
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    1948CWB wrote: »
    My worries with my husband....it is very, very difficult for him to get up from a seated position and when he does go out he walks very slowly. Mostly because he has a knee that needs replacing and peripheral artery disease in his legs that makes his feet hurt all the time. He has a very bad cataract in one eye that makes him almost blind in that eye. And he is still having problems with his digestive system. He gets exhausted from minor excursions. A lot of these could be taken care of but he is stubborn (or scared) to get it done. As I have said before, I know very little about handling the things that he has always taken care of in our 54 yrs of marriage. I know that I will be able to get help if needed, but, right now I'm just scared.

    Carol in GA

    Carol - is the "care" of your BIL that your husband used to tend to now falling on you? I think your DH was in charge of bill paying, picking up meds, etc?

    If so that has to be wearisome. I don't believe I could do it.

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,938 Member
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    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    dlfk202000 wrote: »

    You sound so much like my mom. Of course she misses dad like crazy-they were married just months shy of 65 yrs but she is enjoying, as you said "getting things up to snuff little by little"
    Some of the changes she has made are hard for me to see/understand but it is her choice. I have learned to let her do her thing and just gently suggest some things but not push or she gets irritated with me-thinking I am telling her what to do.
    She now stays up as late as she wants instead of having my dad keep asking her if she is coming to bed soon. She can watch her crime dramas like she enjoys instead of the news or Animal Planet.

    I too am getting tired of being on someone elses schedule, in regards to my daycare girl. I only have her 3-4 hrs a day four days a week BUT I have to be here at a certain time in the middle of the day to go pick her up from school. I have her M/T/W/F- would rather have M or F off instead of TH but that is the day her mom is off. I will only have her until Sept when she starts first grade and is in school all day. SO looking forward to at least a 3 month break. I will look for another daycare kid after that, just to keep the tax write offs but will be on my schedule.

    Debbie

    Debbie - you sound like my friend Tiff and her husband. I tell Tiff what I have in mind with projects, ask her for advice, tell her what's on my agenda. I call her "the kid I never had" or my favorite niece, lol. I trust her a lot and am very, very fortunate.

    It's interesting to see your mom's "freedom" from your perspective. :) I understand where your mom is coming from. I'm sure she misses your dad dearly but yes, she has that freedom now.

    Your schedule revolving around your daycare girl sounds much like what my walking schedule evolved into with my neighbor. Not only is keeping the schedule straight time consuming, the fact that you have to arrange your day around it is so restraining. I got used to a schedule of course when I worked, but now the shackles keep falling away it seems. Good for you planning your next day care child around YOUR schedule.

    I love hearing about your long walks and some of the things you see, I know how special and important they are to you. <3

    My neighbor can't walk between 8 and 9:30 because that's when she has breakfast with her DH. Some days she has morning zoom meetings so only late mornings work for her. Some days she has church stuff early afternoon so we must be done walking by such and such a time. Some days she has quilting club. Some days senior luncheon. It's getting so complicated. I've bent over backwards it seems to suit her schedule the past couple years and I'm ready for walks to dwindle down to once a week when it suits.

    I think she's realizing I'm not sitting around all day lonely and waiting for someone to entertain me. That's the furthest from the truth! :p

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State

    This is a brand new thing for mom- to be on her own for the very first time at almost 80yrs old. (she will be 80 this June). She married dad when she was 14yrs old so of course was with her parents and her parents rules up until then. Most things have not been that much of a change- like the bill paying. Dad never did any of it, had no clue on most of it. Old school, not into technology at all. Only had a cell phone because mom insisted on it for when he would go to town by himself. The gardening she knows most of from doing it with him all these years. Other things she has had to ask for help with and gets a bit frustrated when people say they will be there to help and get busy or what ever and don't follow through. Right now she is struggling with getting enough fire wood. The propane bill was so high so she turned the heater off and only uses the fire place which has been going 24/7 with the weather we have been having. She has had a guy come and split some wood for her but has used it up and now needs more. My sister and I paid one guy to help and mom is still waiting for him to come out. He will eventually come out but she needs it now. There is another guy that will come down too. Just waiting for him to do it.
    She has bought some new things, like a new bedroom set and a little ride on tractor/mower(better than the full size tractor she was planning on buying that I gently talked her out of). This one she uses every day to bring wood to the house or to go out and take care of the chickens so she doesn't have to walk so much(needs knee replacement but not quite ready for it). Financially she is not terrible but not great. Would be nice if that darn room mate would pay something- she is still there, still not helping at all with any chores or paying any on utilities.

    Yes, I have a walking friend like that too- haven't walked in a few months now. She started going to another gym(third one since her and I started going to Zumba at the rec.department. I miss our walks but am ok going by myself now. She can't go when I walk the wetlands because she is at work. When the weather gets better and days get longer, we may walk more or I will walk with another friend.

    Yes, SO looking forward to a long break and then possible getting another daycare kid but won't be in a rush for it. I am hoping for a nice vacation in that time off or at least, spend a good amount of time with my mom. Hopefully the room mate is gone by then. Taking the holidays off so I can really enjoy them this coming year. This past holiday season was a total wash starting with Thanksgiving on.

    Debbie


  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Hugs, Carol.

  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,525 Member
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    Stats for the day-

    Walk w/family- 2hrs 41sec, 46elev, 3.02ap, 87ahr, 109mhr, 6.10mi= 607c
    Strava app = 748c
    SLOW Treadmill jog- 25.39min, 11.24min mi, 139ahr, 159mhr, 2.25mi= 260c

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