WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2023
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Okie-that was so thoughtful!
Kylia-I know that exit! Good old Alex Bell Road. I believe DIL had baby shower for her twins at the Dorothy Lane Market in that area.
So many other thoughts on all of the different topics! One group has me joyful and thoughtful, others have me a bit sad. My head is swirling from so many things at once I don't know what to comment on. I will only say-we share thoughts that can encourage and support us and help us think through every issue. What a magnificent group of women. I don't think we can keep the "fit" part of MFP only focusing on our eating (although it is important), but true health means we address our whole self.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio8 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Flea - I'm so sorry that your mother's death had to be accompanied by strife from the family. Your energy is so precious, it shouldn't be split this way. It's why I went to the effort to establish the trust. Right now, neither feels they want anything from us, but who knows what a decade or two can bring. This way, everything belongs to the trust, nothing to our kids. This way, hopefully there won't be acrid arguments and demands, and their relationship will continue after we're gone. Deaths somehow bring entitlement out of the woodwork.
My husband is pushing for us to put everything in a trust. Someone still needs to manage it, so I'm not sure how it would have helped in this situation, but perhaps.
I don't care about my relationship with her. I am divorced from my first husband because she had an affair with him. It's complicated, and I do blame him more than I blame her, but it's still hard to accept. She whines to me, and to my mother before she died, that I'm so mean and hate her. I don't hate her, honestly, but I don't like her much and don't really want to be friends. I tolerated her for my mom's sake, and I try to be cordial and friendly even now, but then she attacks me. She is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so she definitely has attachment/abandonment issues. She doesn't want me to hate her, but it's perfectly acceptable for her to treat me horribly. Sigh. Like I said. Get this over with.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR11 -
okiewoman510 wrote: »grandmallie wrote: »Morning ladies
Well im at Tracy's, she is just overwhelmed, and snapped at me about finding daycare,that right now she can't handle it..
She said what we found in Carmines room floored us,soshe wouldn't tell me,but it really shook them.
So for right now.. everything is on the back burner and poor Miles is feeling all the stress..
There will always be a reason now isn’t a good time. She knows you won’t actually stop watching him if she doesn’t find someone so she has no reason to feel any urgency.
I’m truly sorry Carmine is struggling. That is no excuse for them not to either 1) find acceptable child care 2) change up her hours so she can work evenings/nights while Kyle is home or 3) quit and stay home until she finds child care.
If you want to address your health issues, you need to give them a date and stick to it. If they haven’t found someone, that is there problem. THEY are the parents.
When is your cruise? Maybe that’s the date if it is soon.
Okie in the TX Hill Country
Would probably benefit Miles to be in a different atmosphere for a while.1 -
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Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Skimming through. The blog moves so fast. Too tired to take notes. Worked with the cats this morning and will again tomorrow morning. I have the grand dog a black lab and he is well behaved. Thursday I have to be on the van early to get to the Atlanta airport. Wish I wasn't so tired. About to lay down for a nap.....at 5:16 pm.....and hope I have some energy when I wake up. Thinking about everyone and wishing every one the best.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia
It's OK to be tired ... and to nap.3 -
Evening ladies
Yes everything a bit overwhelming
Flea- Bless you..my friend when I think I have it bad.. at least we have friends we can camizarate (sp) together with.
Easier said than done with Miles she is still nursing him
Thats a comfort to both of them at this stage..
All I can do is just be there when needed.
I go on the cruise end of August..
Went up to Trudys had a little impromptu dinner it was nice to destress and im going to try and get some skeep tonight also.. wish me luck on that front..7 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 2min 43sec, 39elev, 2.95ap, 79ahr, 94mhr, 6.10mi= 571c
Strava app= 747c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 29.08min, 85elev, 129aw, 20.8amph, 30gear, 98ahr, 126mhr, 10.10mi= 167c
Zwift stats- 29.09min, 87elev, 129aw, 56arpm, 20.79amph, 10.1mi= 216c
Total cal 7382 -
grandmallie wrote: »Well its been a day lets just say that..
Miles slept for 3 hrs this morning poor little guy..
When Tracy got home she was a wreck and almost in tears.. Mental illness runs in my ex husbands family,my ex mother in law was bi polar,Rich is bi polar and poor Carmine,is either Psychotic or Schizophrenic at this point she has been cutting herself and writting death threats on everyone.. so they need to get her into some type of place like Pronto.. pay a little at a time if you have to.. but for her life and yours it has to be done.
Allie, it would be the hardest thing in the world for them to do, but can’t they cal the police and have her put on a 72 hour physiatric hold. I had to do that to a friend of mine, and I hated it but it saved her life and now she is grateful. Here in Alberta you just need to threaten to harm yourself or someone else to have it done. She is passed the threaten part.
I’m praying for all of you.
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(((Allie)))— Sending prayers to you and the family. 💖
Katla0 -
Did a body pump DVD today. The plan for tomorrow is to do a KettleWorx Fast Fat Burn DVD and maybe the Cardio Resistance DVD.
Got a dentist appt tomorrow. See, a temporary crown I had came off. It was my own stupid fault. I was flossing and pulled it off. However, the permanent crown came in today so I’ll go there tomorrow to have them put it on.
Okie – what a wonderful thing you did for your neighbor.
Was drizzling out so I couldn’t go for my walk. So I rode the recumbent bike for an hour. Not sure that it burned as many calories, tho. I’ve been watching “Lost in Space” (remember that?)
Heather – great you went running! Have fun with your friend
deresider – welcome! Watch at the end of this month when Barbie posts a link to the June thread
Flea – I’m so sorry you’re going thru all this with your mother’s estate.
Picked up my large angelfish from ceramics tonight. He’ll go outside by the pool next to the small angelfish.
Off to bed. No work tomorrow.
Michele NC
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That angel fish is beautiful, Michelle.
Yes, Okie, I meant to comment as well. What you did was a tremendous thing.
Thanks for letting me vent this afternoon. I've been venting and ranting to my husband all night, too. I actually said, "I refuse to let her take space in my head!!" He very wryly commented, "Hmm. I think you are today, but that's okay." Lol
Love you all.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR13 -
Yes, it is on my list to start the new thread tomorrow. Keeping a reminder list works for me.Kim You have come through the war intact and with many life lessons that will serve you well. The lessons learned during the hard times are frequently the best. That has been my life experience.Allie, I am sending hugs to you. Poor Carmine is the victim of abuse in so many ways. It is amazing that they are still functioning at all.Heather, getting back to running must feel so comforting to you. Glad you are taking it slow and not overdoing it. The big news here is that I planted marigold seeds today. My life is very simple.
Barbie in NW WA 7 -
Carla … would you share again about Shawn? Forgive me for forgetting.
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31. Find three reasons to be hopeful about the future. Surprised at how difficult this is, but my god daughter is doing a good job raising her kids. They are smart, funny and pleasant to be around… for awhile
Checking Friday’s Freddie receipt noticed no $10 discount for spending $40+ on P&G products, nor $1 off each for “buy 5 and save.” Disgusted I fired off a complaint using their contact form. To my surprise, delight (and a little shame), got an email today with a $20 credit to my loyalty card. It pays to double check, but it would have been better if I’d been kinder… ;{
Welcome @dcresider! Yes! Tomorrow evening Barbiecat will post the link to the June thread. Look forward to seeing you there.
Machka, Terri and Rita, thanks for the memes, I needed to see them today.
Heather, no doubt your first post-accident run was scary . . . but you did it anyway. Bravissima!
Rebecca when Athena is a famous comic we’ll all be able to say we saw her when…
Lanette your super sports bra bumpy mowing made me laugh out loud.
Beth maybe you just need a break for a few days. June’s fresh start is just around the corner.
Katla walks with friend and DH? Lovely!
Pip hahaha Primary Care Provider.
Allie Carmine’s mental health just took priority over childcare. Please keep us posted. Praying Tracy can get Carmine into a safe place where they can get help N O W.
Vicki “…giving up control is not easy” truth this!
Lisa yours to Flea, especially about her precious energy.
Flea your niece had an affair with your first husband? Not someone you need in your life or your head! ((hugs))05/30: Move: 2 sets PT w/d, dogs to powerline, fern whacking, line dancing. steps:6588
Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 11+5=acv, almonds, apple, artichoke, avocado, beans-chili, grapefruit, macadamia nuts, maraschino cherry, peanuts, pecans, pepperoncini, peppers-sweet/yellow, romaine, tea-black, wheat-Snap’d crackers/tortilla/sourdough. CI=1503 CO=631
Live: Joe, readings, BP, arterial ultrasounds. Wt:134.7
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. May: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Pip - it’s everyday language for me too. 😂
Machka - I wish I could go away to the lodge or anywhere, but I can’t spend the money right now.
Terri - I totally agree about the meme about obstacles.
Heather - well done for going for your run. That took courage.
I need to wash my hair as well, I have my massage in 4 hours and a bit.
We are taking DH’s vehicle in for a repair tomorrow. The cost is always scary.
Allie - I am not surprised that she can’t handle this right now, but she needs to. It’s not healthy for you.
I think it’s not even healthy for you to be in that environment right now.
I hope Carmine gets some help soon. I worry about her.
Rebecca - Athena is such a sweetheart. Love her facial expressions.
I too have friends for different things.
Debbie - I hope that your DH realizes how he is being used soon.
Beth - I am doing terrible with my eating too. I think it’s my mindset I’m general that needs an adjustment, but I’m just not there.
I miss the maple “helicopters”.
Flea - I hope things are settled soon and you can get the peace you need.
Michele - Love your fish.
Barbie - - will the marigolds bloom this year?
Barbara - You’ll remember this and be kind next time.
You’ll probably always check your receipt too. 😂
I did nothing today except go to my massage appointment.
I am calling for a therapist tomorrow, I think I need to talk to someone to help me get rid of this stress.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Tracey - Well done for looking for a therapist. Will you be able to get one through the health service? The waiting list here is huge.
Do you journal? That can be a huge help. My friend L found writing letters to her dead partner very helpful. You can also doodle how you feel. I remember, from what you have shared on here, that you had a hugely difficult childhood/adolescence. Try writing to your grandmother and telling her all about it. Get out your Cricut and express yourself. Make a mental map with it, like Machka 's mindmaps. It's always better out than in. Just write one word today. Just one.
A crisis like you are going through can be the gateway to a whole new understanding. It will come. Don't rush it. Rest. Rest. Rest. Your body knows best.
Very, very, best wishes.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx (who is very happy not to be going up to London)
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Tracey - Well done for looking for a therapist. Will you be able to get one through the health service? The waiting list here is huge.
Do you journal? That can be a huge help. My friend L found writing letters to her dead partner very helpful. You can also doodle how you feel. I remember, from what you have shared on here, that you had a hugely difficult childhood/adolescence. Try writing to your grandmother and telling her all about it. Get out your Cricut and express yourself. Make a mental map with it, like Machka 's mindmaps. It's always better out than in. Just write one word today. Just one.
A crisis like you are going through can be the gateway to a whole new understanding. It will come. Don't rush it. Rest. Rest. Rest. Your body knows best.
Very, very, best wishes.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx (who is very happy not to be going up to London)
My mind maps?0 -
grandmallie wrote: »Well its been a day lets just say that..
Miles slept for 3 hrs this morning poor little guy..
When Tracy got home she was a wreck and almost in tears.. Mental illness runs in my ex husbands family,my ex mother in law was bi polar,Rich is bi polar and poor Carmine,is either Psychotic or Schizophrenic at this point she has been cutting herself and writting death threats on everyone.. so they need to get her into some type of place like Pronto.. pay a little at a time if you have to.. but for her life and yours it has to be done.
Oh dear, it was the 3rd choice ... the one I was hoping it wasn't.
Carmine is severely depressed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950
As someone said, the negative attention she is getting is better (to her) than no attention at all, with all the attention going to Miles.
I still think it would be good to get Miles into childcare so that attention can go to Carmine and so that Miles is in a better atmosphere.
But it's not up to me.
M in Oz1 -
Good morning, all.
Flea: Shesh!!! Why waste your valuable headspace on someone who has no respect for you. You owe her nothing. People like her are never be satisfied no matter what you do. (I’ve a niece just like her, who we don’t go out of our way to contact.)
Allie: (((Hugs))) to you and your daughter’s family. I have no further advice but hope they can get the help they need.
DH let me sleep in this morning and has gone off to do the grocery shopping on his own. One must be grateful for small mercies 😝
🤗 🤗 🤗 to all, and 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 to those who need them.
☘️ Terri
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Machka- I was thinking of something like your hobbies graphic arrangement.
I decided today to not write this morning, because I had a long list of things I wanted and needed to do, which was uppermost in my brain and bothering me.
So, out I went to return an Amazon parcel at the post office, go to two different pharmacies, buy frozen dim sum from the Asian shop, visit the posh bakery for focaccia, the mini supermarket for milk and prawns, (and I bought salmon fillets) and then drag my trolley bag home. Knackering! But it's done.
We are thinking of the things we need for the cruise, and gathering toiletries and medicines together. I've bought anti-midge spray! DH is going on a couple of hikes, so he might need it. Plus we sre well loaded up with seasickness tablets now.
I wouldn't have written if I had been going up to London, so I feel OK about it. This afternoon, I'm going to varnish my geranium coaster and perhaps try another dancer.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Flea I’m sorry that you are having such difficulties with your niece. If you let your lawyer handle it they will look out for your best interests and they have to do things legally so your niece will just have to accept that and can’t blame you. You realize you don’t have to have a relationship with someone just because they are a relative! 💕
Allie sorry that you are having to go through this with your daughter and grandchildren. I’m sure that it’s extremely difficult especially since you can’t fix anything as grandma. All you can do is watch and pray that everything gets better. That’s probably why you feel responsible to take care of Miles. Praying for your family 💕
I’m so glad that we have each other on here to talk to about things that are going on in our lives that are stressful and out of our control. It seems like we have a lot of people here that really need support and guidance. I have been one of them of late. This is a great group to be a part of 💕
💕Mary from Minnesota/Arizona5 -
Just about got everything planted that is ready. . I actually got coleus seeds to germinate this year. They are still too small to plant. I tried last year with no luck.
DH eye surgery seems to have gone well. Taking him into the doctor today for a check.
Allie Carmine is crying out for help. I am praying the right help comes and everyone is open and does the hard work that needs to be done. In the mean time everyone needs to feel safe and if it means getting Carmine professional care it needs to be done. She is not safe to herself and others. If she is not willing to go willingly call 911 and tell them she is a danger to herself and others and why. It is Tracy who will need to do this for her daughter's and her safety and Miles. The sooner she gets help the more likely she will have a chance to get her condition manageable. It will only get worse if Tracy waits. This will not go away on its own.
It always amazes me that when someone sees someone having a heart attack they know they need to call 911. When someone is having a mental health crisis they seem to think with the right therapy everything will become normal. IT IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY as in a heart attack is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Threatening others and herself cutting is a medical emergency.
Remember too Allie Tracy is in survival mode. She will need all the self care she can get! Margaret 9 -
Good morning!
There are pros and cons of living close to family. I believe I was closer to YD when they lived further away, yet am happy they are closer. I wish I lived closer to my brother and his family, but am thankful to have my mother further away. Pros and cons.....
Still behind on work, but watered and trimmed plants this morning. It will get done. Bed linens changed, laundry started. Reckon that is a good start!
I am so thankful for all of you! And yes, the support in all areas of our lives makes a difference in our eating and exercises.
Have a blessed day!
TTFN,
Kylia in Ohio6 -
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(((hugs))) to those who need them.
Yes Allie, it has to be done. Poor Carmine. It runs in our family too. Anne was cutting as a teenager and we had her in treatment during HS. She did really well and is thriving now. Carmine really needs professional help asap. I'm so sorry. Sending prayers.
Geez Flea, it's so terrible when money comes between family, but it always seems to happen that way. I'm sorry.
Beth, Shawn was Lacy's first husband and Kolten's dad, our SIL. They married on May 1st and he was killed in a horrific car accident on May 28th. Kolten was 5. They were together the whole time, but he wasn't sure he wanted to get married because of his childhood. Then when he was sure, this happened. Thankfully, he was smart enough to make sure all of his union paperwork was complete immediately so she and Kolten were well taken care of after his death. Had you asked me that three days ago, I would have been a blubbering mess. Today I can just tell you. smh... that's how it goes. Now he's one of my angels.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN13
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