WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2023
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Rebecca - Happy Birthday!!
Allie - I'm not a grandmother so have no advice other than I think Carmine spending some time at Seth's house is likely good for her (has anyone met Seth's parents?) I recall some of my high school friends really enjoyed coming to my house and spending time especially with my mom there. She didn't preach or advise, she was just a great listener and enjoyed their stories and that's all they needed. Someone to pay attention to them and give them the spotlight.
We all need that no matter what age we are.
Just read your update. Good that Kyle will be home next week, spending time with both kids sounds promising if it works out.
Lanette
SW WA State
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Good evening ladies!
Oh no Rebecca! Sorry you fell. Hope your feet heal quickly.
Today I ate 1083 calories Yay! And I did twenty minutes on the bike, and an hour of yoga, and thirty minutes of aerobic walking. Yay! My deficit is 497 Yay! An excellent first day of my sister challenge. It's about forty days and I would like to lose eight pounds. But really I win if I can stick to my program for forty days.
Annie in Delaware4 -
Oh no Rebecca ,so sorry that happened..
Yes my house was the hang out house and everyone loved my mom..
I know Seth's mom from the dental office
And yes they are nice..
My sleep schedule is all out of wack but what can you do..
Have to go to a one yr olds birthday party tomorrow. Will stop by family dollar and get a party bag and card to put present in..got him some farm building blocks. He is adorable and is expecting a little sister in September.4 -
I'm back home in NW WA. It feels good to be back and will enjoy sleeping in my own bed. The eleven days on the road went by quickly and the trip was better than I could have hoped. My sister and I walked in the pasture that was owned by my husbands family. The town bought the pasture and created a large dog park with trails and bridges over the small creek. My sister and I walked the park and spread Jack's ashes in the areas where he loved to ride his horse. I could imagine him being a boy loving this pasture.
On the way home, we took a full day and explored Shoshone Falls and Box Canyon Preserve,. Thank you Barbara. We overnighted near Twin Falls and spent the day hiking and enjoying the beauty of Thousand Springs. What a Treat.
Betsy in NW WA10 -
Rebecca: Happy birthday.💐🎂🎈🎁 Glad your feet aren't broken. Soaking in warm epsom salt bath and rubbing on arnica gel helps me with swelling, pain and bruises. Couldn't hurt....
Rori6 -
Heather - I hope your thigh stops cramping for your cruise.
Machka - I find here that many don’t take their allotted time off either. I didn’t for a long time, but then started using mine regularly.
For the last couple of years I’ve only taken my time as a day or a few days at a time. I think moving forward I need to use 1 week as a whole week and the other week as a day here and there thing.
One thing I’m very upset about is I would be at 4 weeks vacation next year.
Lisa - I had a discussion today with my daughter (34) about this “quiet quitting” thing. She says her generation calls it “Acting your wage”. I hope this next generation makes some changes and they enjoy life more than we did. As she said though, trying to navigate a system that is in the midst of such a massive change is not the place to be when you’re just trying to work and have a family.
Flea - hugs to you.
When my girls were little I expected them to have wonderful careers, nicely kept homes and be amazing Moms. As they aged and I aged I found I love and admire them so much for being the strong independent women they are each in their own ways.
They married men that love them, treat them well and are true partners. My eldest struggles at keeping a tidy house, but has two amazing children that are kind, courteous and fill our world with joy.
My youngest keeps the tidiest house, goes off on adventures with her girlfriends and is trying desperately to be a Mom.
I think they have succeeded in life because they are doing what they want to do and enjoying their lives. I just enjoy their company and try to only offer advice when asked. Maybe because I’ve let them make mistakes and fail they ask me more often for advice. 😂
Allie - it’s a shame Kyle and his brother couldn’t stay for a longer time.
Sorry for the family’s loss.
I hope Carmine and the whole family finds some peace soon.
Barbie - well said.
Rebecca - oh no! I hope you heal fast.
Lanette - you make a good point. I was not abused ever, but I hated being at home. My friends Mom’s were so much easier to talk to than mine.
I’ve often said it took a lot of women to raise me. My Mom took me wherever I wanted to go, fed me clothed me but we couldn’t talk about the deep stuff. She just wasn’t that type of Mom. My longest BF’s mom taught me how to wear makeup, about periods and how we should be treated when we began dating. (She was a cautionary tale). My Godchildren’s Grandmother was the one who taught us how to be safe when we’re typically teens and doing things teens shouldn’t do, but do anyway. If we were thinking of having sex, she taught us how to be safe. She kept condoms around for the boys and lectured us girls about why we should say no, but if we weren’t she encouraged us to talk to our parents and doctors. She told us the dangers of drugs and gave us life stories to make it real, she also told us about drinking and what can happen if it’s abused. She took in 3 girls whose parents kicked them out when they became pregnant because their parents kicked them out. The parents were shocked because they hadn’t allowed their girls to use birth control so they wouldn’t have sex. Well that worked well.
My girls also had other “Mom’s” that helped guide them and I have a few of their friends I guided. I think it was a true definition of “it takes a village”. Parents just need to let their egos get out of the way sometimes.
Well after that novel.
I have a consultation booked for Monday, my BF and her husband paid for it for me because I’m very tight right now for funds.
I went to ceramics this afternoon with Kaitlyn’s BF Raquel , Kaitlyn was supposed to come too, but ditched us for a free trip to BC. We couldn’t blame her. I am going to meet Raquel and her children tomorrow so she has company and another set of hands to help with her 1 year old daughter while her 11 year old son plays in a baseball tournament. It will be a very long day, so I may not pop in tomorrow.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Oh dear, Rebecca! Great birthday present!
I'm awake early, 4.15, but it's OK. I don't write at the weekend, so can sort toiletries etc. Start packing. The weather is cooling, thank goodness, so it will be easier to think! Yesterday I wore a thin t shirt and my pyjama pants all day! Brain on slo-mo.
I usually drop a letter round to the next door neighbour with my son's phone number in case of emergency. I will ask her to put a can of water on the geranium pot if it's hot while we are away. I think there will be showers next week.
DSIL rang last night. Her 70th is next Tuesday. We are away, and felt guilty, but, fortunately, she is going away on the Wednesday, so it worked out OK. We are getting together in July to celebrate. I think her children are seeing her this weekend.
All good. Slowly does it!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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15. Look for something to be thankful for where you least expect it. A volunteering to research cost recovery at Wednesday’s board meeting.
16. Speak to others in a warm and friendly manner. Everybody, all day, no exceptions.
Welcome @DerbyRose! Would you let us know what you’d like to be called and your general locale?
Belated happy birthday dear Rebecca! I always forget your birthday is the same as Joe’s. So sorry to hear about your fall and injuries. Safe travels!
Tracey Sounds like good advice from your MD. Glad she took the time for the assessments and isn’t rushing in to medicate what can be solved otherwise. Could the lawyer submit the Doctor’s letter so she doesn’t have to contact them directly?
There’s our Carol again, whew! You are a blessing to us all!
Flea thank you so much for sharing the update. Thanks given. “virtual cup of hope…” vividly said. Gentle hugs for the difficult situation.
Kay thanks for the input. Sounds like you’ve really made a lifestyle change. Well done!
Barbie wow that was FAST. Thankful for the “all ok”
Allie Crisis line time indeed. Like Vicki said, it will be hard but they need help before something bad happens. Well done for telling Tracy and Kyle what you did about the $$. Agree, please never let them know you’ve shared this trouble online.
Beth, Carla, yours to Allie. That therapist quitting on Carmine just didn’t sound kosher to me…
Margaret that is a very good question about the new plantings’ timing. Keep practicing that “No.”
Vicki great news for a little respite for you.
Joy yours to Allie too. Poor Lucy. No doubt she’s terrified of being abandoned again, but, please read up on separation anxiety and take steps to ameliorate it. ((hugs))
Rita turtle eggs on the beach? Good insight about possibility of therapist not speaking with Tracy directly. So sorry to hear your son’s situation is spiraling down. ((hugs held extra long))
Okie very insightful about the $$ and how Carmine might feel. I share your fears. Prayers.
Pip “Found my pool key.” Whew! Need it this summer
Rosemarie sorry for the van disappointment. Fingers X’d the partner is favorably inclined.
Lisa wish I had some motivation magic to share.
Ginny can understand how you’d miss problem solving, but I’d sacrifice it for the difficult conversations and multi-meeting days… :devil: Thanks for the reminder that Monday is a federal holiday, couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t set a bank payment for June 19, now I get it.
Lanette Will be interested to hear how your appointment with Dr. Matt goes. Didn’t realize he was in your area. Some of our Xrays/scans are read by a radiologist in Medford, 3 hours east.
Rori 10 hours on your feet? You look remarkably fresh!
Machka con VERY gratulations!
Heather “demon trains”? Think I’m looking forward to your cruise as much as you are
Annie sounds like you’ve found your (sister) motivation. Well done!
Betsy I’m so glad you enjoyed Box Canyon and Thousand Springs. A magical place.1. Decide to look for what’s good every day this month. 1-Blue skies. 2-views of the ocean on way into town and on stroll chat with T. 3-sharing worries and laughter with D. 4-Pianist’s choice of offertory-congregation gave her an ovation. 5-Perfect temperature today, 70 degrees at 10 am, blue sky, sunshine, only the merest breeze to keep the air fresh. That “ahh I’m home” feeling. And then there was the birdsong. 6-cool still day perfect for burnbarreling the fernwhackings.7-Pomegranate/kombucha soothing my sore throat, thanks Lanette! 8-Zicam minimizing cold symptoms. 9-Joe volunteering to pick me up something from Freddie’s-Minestrone! 10-Jeopardy walking for the first time since got this cold. 11-vimeo-ed church but feel well enough to take dogs to powerline and play with plants on this gorgeous day. 12-Shower and clean linens after sweating for a week. 13-felt well enough for line dancing at the Grange.14-H’s wife D’s yellow cake with buttercream frosting. Yum. 15-Joe liked his birthday book and cupcakes.16-drone was on clearance, $20 less than labeled.
06/15: Move: 2 sets PT w/x&a. Jeopardy walking but not enough. steps: 4775 :P
Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 12+6+3+5= acv, almonds, apple, beets, broccoli, carrots, celery, coconut flour, cucumber, ginger, Kashi, kombucha, mushrooms-portabella, oats, olive oil, peanuts, pineapple, pomegranate juice, potato chips, radish, raisins, rice pasta, romaine, tomato sauce, walnuts, wheat-ginger snaps/pizza. CI= CO=
Live: Joe, readings, BP, AF, baked “healthy” carrot cake cupcakes for Joe’s birthday. Wt:132.3
06/14: Move: 2 sets PT w/d. line dance class. steps: 7083
Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 12+6+3= acv, almonds, apple, beets, carrots, celery, cucumber, ginger, Kashi, kombucha, oats, olive oil, peanuts, pineapple, pomegranate juice radish, rice pasta, romaine, tomato sauce, walnuts, wheat-ginger snaps/pizza. CI=1428 CO=522
Live: Joe, readings, BP, AF, Grocery Outlet, Freddie’s, recycling, board meeting. Wt:133.8
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. June: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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LisaInArkansas wrote: »I read an article recently that said Americans tend not to take all their vacation leave. The article gave several reasons.
I took today off. 😀
M in Oz
Went into three paragraphs of my own theories about all this and then realized it was boring as all get out. To shorten it considerably, U.S. workers began something the media labeled "quiet quitting," which was a complete misnomer, during the pandemic. It actually sounds much like your work culture--a trend to give the company eight hours a day and do the job you're hired for and no more, stop overworking and overachieving. I have hope that the next generation will figure out the situation better than we ever did. I was as wrapped up as anyone else in the culture. I figured out once that the unpaid two or three hours I went in early every day (often including weekends) dropped my hourly wage by nearly half, in the end. Not so smart.Snowflake1968 wrote: »Machka - I find here that many don’t take their allotted time off either. I didn’t for a long time, but then started using mine regularly.
For the last couple of years I’ve only taken my time as a day or a few days at a time. I think moving forward I need to use 1 week as a whole week and the other week as a day here and there thing.
One thing I’m very upset about is I would be at 4 weeks vacation next year.
Lisa - I had a discussion today with my daughter (34) about this “quiet quitting” thing. She says her generation calls it “Acting your wage”. I hope this next generation makes some changes and they enjoy life more than we did. As she said though, trying to navigate a system that is in the midst of such a massive change is not the place to be when you’re just trying to work and have a family.
Tracey in Edmonton
Tracey ... I hope something works out that you could get your 4 weeks.
For interest, and completeness, here are a couple articles about the leave subject.
Why Americans are bad at taking time off, and how to get better at it
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2022/04/07/why-americans-dont-take-time-off-work/
Why Do Almost Half of Americans Leave Paid Time Off on the Table?
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/27/business/dealbook/unused-paid-time-off.html
I have always taken all my leave off and have occasionally gone for unpaid leave as well. For several years I worked on contract jobs, and I would be sure to include a month's leave into the contract in one way or another.
Now that I'm in Australia, I get 4 weeks annual leave plus I've opted into a Purchased Leave program to give me an extra 10 days leave plus stat holidays, of course. And believe me, I take it all! In October, I get Long Service Leave for being with the organisation for 10 years. That'll be 3 months of leave ... and I have plans for it.
Incidentally, "leave" means "vacation".
I see the following meme come up in FB every so often and I'm puzzled (I suppose) by it.
1. Does that mean I enjoy my work so much I don't take a vacation ... like the articles above?
2. Does that mean that I've retired so every day is a vacation?
Personally, I don't mind my work and I know there's a place for it in my life, but I've built a life that needs and includes a whole lot of leave (vacation time).
As for the "quiet quitting" and the work culture in many places here in Australia ...
There is (and has been for a while) a big emphasis on just working during working hours. However, we are encouraged to achieve things and to be engaged during those working hours. We're encouraged to meet the expected outcomes of our band level ... or more.
For the last few years, I was producing at 2 to 3 band levels higher than what I was being paid. Thankfully, I've finally moved up to the band level where I've been working.
But in an interview, if we're asked: "If you discover you've got a huge workload and then something more comes in, how would you handle it?" ...
... the wrong answer is, "I would be happy to work extra hours to see that it gets done."
M in Oz2 -
Rebecca: Ouch! Hope you’re back on your feet soon.
It’s a dull damp day here, but I have lots to do indoors. I will go to our local shops later.
🤗 🤗 🤗 and 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🙏🏻
☘️ Terri
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Machka-thanks for sharing links but couldn't read because they are subscription or ask for email. My vacation status:I get 5 weeks of leave per year plus 14 paid holidays (and then sick leave on top of that). We can keep 15 weeks (3 years) of vacation on the books-I am frequently in danger of losing (which is why I took off a few hours on Friday). I don't take it unless I have something I want to do but have been bad at that the first half of this year. I do find taking the occasion day or few hours mid week are good for me. I will knock off some time with trip to Arizona in a week. We are through one of our busiest times so in second half I will get more options for time off. Also-getting to keep a large balance that you get paid for when you leave is a nice savings account also.Allie-glad to hear appointment is scheduled and not too far out. It is much scarier if they need to see you immediately!
Rebecca-hope you recover well from fall. Those as so scary. At least it was at end of your trip and not in the beginning.
Rita-those tomatoes are gorgeous! They would make a great in-person birthday present!
Annie-cheering you on in the sister challenge.
Pip-congrats on 10 minute mile run. I get excited when I walk a 20 minute mile!
Spending Saturday and Sunday taking stuff to goodwill (and making up more), need to do an Amazon return to UPS store. Sorting papers out of home office. Kitchen an living area I have been keeping up on and I feel more relaxed in them. Will start working on packing for trip-fly out next Sunday. Traveling light so need to think through choices. Also, that will keep me from being rushed next Saturday at the last minute.
Sun is coming up-going to go get ready to start day with walk. 3 miles today since it is weekend.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio7 -
Just a gentle reminder to those who are new. We are glad you are here! Please note that, as a group, it was decided long, long ago that we don't put religion or politics into the mix. By refraining from politics and religion, we can all stay supportive and kind to each other regardless, and without starting interactions on the thread that don't further our aims for a healthy life. Many of us have been with this thread for years, some for over a decade, and it has lasted so long because of leaving those two things off the table.
Warmest regards,
Lisa in AR
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Machka-thanks for sharing links but couldn't read because they are subscription or ask for email. My vacation status:I get 5 weeks of leave per year plus 14 paid holidays (and then sick leave on top of that). We can keep 15 weeks (3 years) of vacation on the books-I am frequently in danger of losing (which is why I took off a few hours on Friday). I don't take it unless I have something I want to do but have been bad at that the first half of this year. I do find taking the occasion day or few hours mid week are good for me. I will knock off some time with trip to Arizona in a week. We are through one of our busiest times so in second half I will get more options for time off. Also-getting to keep a large balance that you get paid for when you leave is a nice savings account also.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
Interesting and odd you can't get into the links. They're both US newspapers and for whatever reason, I can get into them! Oh well, I'm sure you can google the article titles and find something you can access if you're interested.
I understand the end of employment pay out benefit of not taking leave.
But for me, when I take time off ...
-- my physical health improves because I exercise more.
-- my mental health improves because I get away from the computer because I'm often outside exercising and/or working in the garden. It also gives me time to get things done from my To Do list, which improves my outlook on things.
-- my stress situation improves because exercise and getting things done gives me a sense of accomplishment and slowly but surely makes things better.
-- I get a whole lot more sleep.
-- I have the opportunity to do relaxing things like reading and colouring.
-- I rarely get hot flashes, compared to when I am at work. At work, I'll go into a hot flash every couple hours. At home, I might have one or two a day.
-- my tinnitus quiets a bit.
-- my headaches reduce.
As an aside, in my husband's and my most recent Brain Injury Peer Group meeting, we had a doctor of neurology talk to us about neuroplasticity. A badly injured brain will never fully recover (as in my husband's case) but through neuroplasticity, it can rewire somewhat and the injury can improve somewhat.
Toward the end of her talk, she gave us a list of things that improve neuroplasticity in people with brain injury ... and those without brain injury as well.
The first thing on her list was ...
Travel.
Seeing new things, doing new things goes a long way toward rewiring the brain.
After that came things like learning a new language, learning to play an instrument, doing crosswords, etc.
Machka in Oz2 -
Today's big adventure will be making a trip to Costco. It has been about two months and some supplies are dwindling especially chicken which we use for making batches of favorite foods to freeze and have available for meals. Jake makes chicken with bbq sauce and mole and I make chicken with peanut and coconut milk sauce, chicken soup, and baked chicken to add to Alfredo sauce or just serve along with a veggie. We buy a few other things that we are able to use in larger quantities. We will get there at 9:15 so we'll be in line to go in as soon as they open the doors usually before 9:30. We shop from a list so we are in and out by 9:45.
Thanks to all of Jake's help this year, I have far less yard work so I don't have to worry about dodging the sun in the afternoon.
Annie, I admire your ability to juggle your exercise and parent care especially the part where you have to make different meals for them than for yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back from me.
Heather, best wishes for successful packing and a cruise that is filled with joy.
Betsy, Glad your trip turned out well. Getting home is always good, too.
Tracey, This time off can be a good time for you to increase your spiritual practices and reading uplifting or spiritual stuff to nurture yourself.
Barbie in NW WA2 -
Lisa—Your comment is well said, and will help new people who want to join our community. Politics & religion are best kept private. ❤️
Katla2 -
Morning ladies
Well I slept and slept and slept I needed it
Tracey- Doris was my bonus mom,my mom was everyone elses bonus mom
My mom,never told me about anything,took me out of sex ed,never told me about my period so that was a shock at 14 when I got it..
I didn't want to spend time with my parent's at that age and I was bad..
Because my mom was I guess drinking at that time ,she wasn't paying attention to what we were doing..
From the time I was 14 to the time I was 18 or so I did alot I wasn't proud of.. and if I went to a bar and my friends left me. Bless my dad,i could call him and he would pick me up no questions asked
I pray that Carmine will get through it all..
Well im going to hop in the shower in a bit.. Dan will be staying overnight and taking him to the airport in the morning .flying out to LA and staying in anehiem and going to Vidcon and Disneyland..
Carmine is camping with Seth's family down at the beach this weekend5 -
Rebecca - Your poor feet! Hope you're healing fast, glad nothing was broken...
Heather - As always, looking forward to living your glamorous cruise life vicariously through you. My daughter firmly believes that birthdays and holidays are flexible things, celebrated on the day of her choice, and it's a good way to be able to shift things around so you can enjoy them when you choose. Sounds like a good plan for getting together with your sister-in-law in July.
Betsy - Glad you're home safe and sound, and that first night back in your own bed after a trip is always wonderful. It sounds like you picked the perfect place to spread Jack's ashes, honoring his family and his life.
Speaking of leave/vacation, Corey's taking Monday and Tuesday off--while Monday may be a federal holiday, the company he works for only has four paid holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day and Independence Day. He's just passed his five-year mark with them, so is now entitled to three weeks' vacation. They're about to move into their busiest season, so he's taking time now, and will probably wait and take more in the fall and winter. Since he's the only one who can fix things, and the crews literally break equipment daily, summer is his busiest time.
What's funny to me is, he didn't take his birthday (next Wednesday) off, just the two days before. The only thing he's asked for is a big slice of brownie with icing, which I will happily make for him tomorrow, which is Father's Day. Our 14th anniversary is six days after his birthday - I wouldn't marry him until he turned 40.
It's already 72 outside at 8:30am, and warming up fast. Corey's up and around and starting his day, so I think I'll join him. Folding laundry can wait.
Much love,
Lisa in AR
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Just woken up from a nap.
Got a bit more sorted, including my gorgeous new makeup bag. I like a place for everything, and everything in its place, and this has pockets!
One of the reasons I am pacing myself is that we have three floors in our house, I have a wrist injury, and a thigh strain. Slowly does it.
Next job - tops. For all weathers! Arctic and heatwave. And smart and normal. I often wear a dressier top for dinner. I'm just putting things on the spare bed at this point.
I.was a bit bothered about wearing the exact same outfit for the three formal evenings, but I have conjured something out of a forty year old black sequinned top and a thirty year old beaded jacket. Black trousers. It will do for one when you are not meeting the captain. :laugh:
So, all on track. I am still getting the odd anxiety wave, but it's fine.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx3
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