anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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I don't talk about this stuff with people IRL if I can help it, and if they ask I give a vague "Oh, you know, I watch my calories and try to stay active," because it's just not worth it.
+1 It really annoys me when I give them the rundown on what I'm doing and I get the "that sounds like too much work" response. 5 minutes I'll never get back.
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I don't talk about this stuff with people IRL if I can help it, and if they ask I give a vague "Oh, you know, I watch my calories and try to stay active," because it's just not worth it.
+1 It really annoys me when I give them the rundown on what I'm doing and I get the "that sounds like too much work" response. 5 minutes I'll never get back.
Why can't they just nod sadly while thinking "oh, you poor thing" like normal people???
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I have one that makes me shake my head. She is a 300+ pound woman that sits across from me. Yesterday she was giving one of her team members disgusted looks and asking her how she could drink that crap, referring to her green smoothie. Then she talks about eating an entire pizza for dinner, and complains about not being able to lose weight while shoving her face full of popcorn.
Don't tell her anything about dieting. She knows everything. She's been doing it for 30 years.
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I sometimes feel like I live in bizzaro world for sure. Whether it's at work, at the grocery store, at a restaurant, or whatever. I look around me sometimes and realize that a) almost everyone I see is significantly overweight and b) for more than half my life I was just like them.
Being officially at a "healthy" weight now, it makes me crazy that those same people are always the ones giving me advice or trying to knock me down.
A majority of people here in the US are overweight or obese, and we're a nation that expects instant gratification out of everything. So when I tell people that I lost 70 lbs by eating at a calorie deficit for the last 9 months, and that yes, sometimes by the time I go to bed at night my tummy is grumbling a little bit, they look horrified. How could I possibly put up with any kind of discomfort in my belly just to lose weight!!??
It's an epidemic problem in America. We're so worried about how we look but are too lazy to do anything about it so we'd rather criticize others for how they look and how they do things. I actually get pretty frustrated by it. It doesn't help when morbidly obese celebrities get on TV and encourage others to be the same way. That it's perfectly normal for a human being to be that large and have a healthy life. Oh, and buy my new plus size clothing line while you're at it. It's available at Walmart.
Most people in this nation have it all completely wrong about food. If any of this delusional thinking or fad dieting worked, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in.0 -
It really kills me when people ask me what I'm doing and when I tell them, they look at me like I'm crazy. As if I'm doing the "all cabbage diet all day" or something. I eat real food, and log it. SEVERAL months after I started logging and losing, etc., my husband started logging. He said he couldn't believe how bad the food he was eating was - when he thought he was eating reasonably healthy. I just feel like telling them that nothing's going to change if they aren't willing to change something. But like you it usually falls on deaf ears.
Like others have said, they aren't really looking for help - they just want to share their pitiful lot in life in how hard it is for them to lose.0 -
afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »tannibal_lecter wrote: »I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, and I would hope people wouldn't have any opinions about what I do with mine. Body policing is lame.
This x 1,000,000
Agreed. I'm seeing a lot of cattiness in this thread. You've found your way - great! But for most people (myself included) finding that way was not easy. I know I wouldn't have wanted to be judged when I was still figuring things out.
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You know what's really frustrating??? Every morning at my work we all gather around and one of the managers gives out "health tips"... which is another term for internet bro science written by idiots. It literally hurts me to have to bite my tongue.1
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So yeah, I had to google what 'bro science' was.
I apparently need to get out more.
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sunfastrose wrote: »afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »tannibal_lecter wrote: »I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, and I would hope people wouldn't have any opinions about what I do with mine. Body policing is lame.
This x 1,000,000
Agreed. I'm seeing a lot of cattiness in this thread. You've found your way - great! But for most people (myself included) finding that way was not easy. I know I wouldn't have wanted to be judged when I was still figuring things out.
True, but what some of the peeps are saying on this thread is that they have done it or are well on the way to doing it and they are being asked for advice on how they did it. When they tell people that it is a simple matter of eating a bit less and doing a bit more they get 'the look' and told that it doesn't work.
I think it is mostly frustration rather than cattiness. Most of the posts I've seen on this thread are regarding the posters being asked for advice rather than offering unsolicited advice.
It can be a bit frustrating when you have put in the work to get yourself in shape and after asking your advice Mr Tub o' lard confidently assures you that it won't work and what you need to do is gorge yourself for three to five days and then starve yourself for two. Or only eat protein on a Monday, Carbs on a Tuesday unless it is the 15th of the month and you must only eat carrots and cabbage and wear your underpants on your head etc.
Body policing is lame but so is asking someone for advice on an issue in which they have been successful and you have failed at many times, totally ignoring that advice and then telling them that their advice is a crock.0 -
I just had a coworker tell me that the ONLY way to lose weight is by cutting out sugar, that CICO doesn't work at all. It's just about sugar.
Funny, since I seem to be losing weight with CICO, and I still eat sugary foods when I want them. I just work them into my day. I've also lost twice the amount of weight in the same time as he has. But no, CICO doesn't work at all
I know cutting sugar is good for you, but it's not the only way to lose weight.0 -
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A daily thing I deal with at work. Watching people do 1+ hours of cardio and not changing at all (if overeweight), kids lifting complaining they can't grow, but don't bother to track how much they are really eating, etc.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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It’s not a surprise though. Anyone with social media is likely so confused and receives so many mixed messages, in addition to not being honest with themselves. There are generational trends / excuses that pop up too. People at my work are relatively healthy though so we mostly peek at each others food and ask for recipes. I like all the drama you guys live with… very intriguing.0
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I lost 5st 2 years ago with ww but unfortunately have put 3 back on . I’m trying this now . My friend at work is always in and out of slimming world but even though I know it’s utter rubbish eg unlimited pasta , 0 sins for a banana but 5 if it’s mushed ( how can you eat a banana without mushing it in your mouth I don’t know 🤣 ) anyway I’m just supportive of her and let her get on with it . If it works for her it leave her to it1
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I worked with my folks for decades, so I had an unusual variation on these issues.
The few times I tried to lose weight, my morbidly obese mother would bring in grocery sacks of my favorite treats and leave them on the kitchen table, or fill the office candy dishes with chocolate and tootsie rolls (I never bothered the hard candy). She openly tried to sabotage me, and it always worked. That was on me, btw.
When she went into the hospital for an extended period, due to consequences of diabetes, I had to go through her desk to make sure nothing was hanging fire. I was shocked when I found dozens of bottles of diet pills hidden in her desk, and brought them to the hospital, in case her care team needed to go through them. She was outraged. “Customers gave them to me!” WTF? 🤦🏻♀️
Anyway, now that I’m retired, it’s the ladies at the gym who gripe about their weight. They have detailed discussions of where they’re going for lunch and dinner, and what they had the night before. And they’re mad at me because I don’t participate. I’m “thin” and “athletic” and it’s easy for me
I got so aggravated I pulled out my phone and showed them a picture from five years and a hundred pounds ago, and they refused to believe it. Said I was showing them a relative or something.
*facepalm*
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springlering62 wrote: »I worked with my folks for decades, so I had an unusual variation on these issues.
The few times I tried to lose weight, my morbidly obese mother would bring in grocery sacks of my favorite treats and leave them on the kitchen table, or fill the office candy dishes with chocolate and tootsie rolls (I never bothered the hard candy). She openly tried to sabotage me, and it always worked. That was on me, btw.
When she went into the hospital for an extended period, due to consequences of diabetes, I had to go through her desk to make sure nothing was hanging fire. I was shocked when I found dozens of bottles of diet pills hidden in her desk, and brought them to the hospital, in case her care team needed to go through them. She was outraged. “Customers gave them to me!” WTF? 🤦🏻♀️
Anyway, now that I’m retired, it’s the ladies at the gym who gripe about their weight. They have detailed discussions of where they’re going for lunch and dinner, and what they had the night before. And they’re mad at me because I don’t participate. I’m “thin” and “athletic” and it’s easy for me
I got so aggravated I pulled out my phone and showed them a picture from five years and a hundred pounds ago, and they refused to believe it. Said I was showing them a relative or something.
*facepalm*
True to life, though I have to say my mom wasn't like that. I didn't lose weight until after retirement, so not much co-worker drama, but I avoided discussing my weight loss efforts with friends/relatives if possible (except a tiny number on similar wavelength) because it always ended badly.
Now, 7+ years into maintenance at a healthy weight after previous decades of overweight/obesity, some friends/relatives insist that it's my exercise activity, that I'm "naturally thin", or "don't need to worry".
Yeah, no.
I was overweight/obese for a dozen years doing about the same exercise I do now (just eating more calories). If I didn't stick to reasonable overall eating habits on average now, I'd be back in the obese category fairly quickly. That's not what I want for myself.
A friend who saw me order a "sandwich" without the bun several times at a restaurant decided (and told others) that I'd "given up bread". No, kiddo, I'm not a big bread gal, the buns at that restaurant are meh, and I'm not going to waste categories on non-tasty stuff, thanks. Some nice artisan focaccia from my favorite bakery? Better bet I'm eating that!
I just eye roll a little (ideally just inside my own head) and go on with being me. Not worth engaging.1 -
It’s amazing to me how soon folks who knew us “before” totally and utterly forget we were overweight and lazily fall back on “it’s so easy for you”.
I’ve even argued with people and pulled out old photos from the phone. They just look nonplussed. “I don’t remember you like that.”
Brains are a weird thing. It’s like third-person Dysmorphia.1
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