WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023
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Tracey - My problem is that I do not have access to John's money, if he were incapacitated. It is a long-burning issue.
I need to find a way to bring it up again without letting my anger show. I don't mind at all if he prefers to give the POA to his younger daughter. Just someone needs to have access to funds if he needs care. If he doesn't do it the decisions go to Court of Protection, which is a nightmare.
He has facial recognition on his laptop and a secret stash of passwords in code.
I do know what investments he has, as I made him write them down, and we have both made wills. The problem would be if he had an accident, like Machka's husband, or dementia set in quickly, and he needed care. He is 78.
Oh well.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
Lanette - Popping back in to say how sorry I am to hear about your nephew's family problems. It must be a very difficult time for them. Sending hugs.
My son is cooking Christmas Dinner for 11 this year as my DDIL'S sister is coming with husband and two children, as well as the other grandparents. This was a bit of a last minute surprise for my son! Good job he has a big range cooker with double oven. I tried to suggest he prepare some of it in advance, but he shrugged it off. In some ways I think it gets him out of the necessity to be social on the day, as he can retreat to the stove. He likes his wife's family well enough, but I think he finds them a strain in large numbers. Only the grandparents are staying over.
My days of large entertaining are done. My son and I had a discussion about it on Tuesday. He was a bit surprised, as it used to be a great pleasure of mine, but he understood. Now I panic if I have to feed more than two people!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
(((Annie))) It’s good that your aunt is close enough to help. Just take it one day at a time.
Pip: You are a valued and lived member if our family. And we need that boot 😝
Still catching up 😝
Pg 11
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
4 -
Thursday
Work
Walk
Climb stairs
Cycle
Laundry
And I'm about to continue the Christmas decorations.
Walking
Cycling
Machka in Oz
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I may be wrong, but at work Jerry seems to be more and more nicer to me. Not sure what that’s all about. But he does still give me the rolling eyes when I ask him to do something (like get the lettuce or the pickles). He did mention to me that his sister (who is evidently his guardian. I didn’t think an adult could have a guardian, just have POA but I guess I was wrong) wants to put him in a group home and he doesn’t want to go. If he does, he’ll commit suicide. I think it may be a miscommunication. His sister may have said “maybe you should go to the group home and he interpreted it as she is going to. Whatever…..
Michele NC
Of course an adult can have a guardian if the adult is incapable of making life decisions.
In 2018, I became my husband's guardian and administrator and remained in that role for at least a year. It was some work to obtain that role, and a lot of work in the role. I was very happy when I no longer needed to do that.
Guardianship and Administration has undergone some changes since 2018 here in Tasmania, but the idea is basically the same.
https://www.tascat.tas.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/684125/6.-Guardianship.pdf
A Guardian appointed with the relevant powers by the Tribunal can make decisions about non-financial matters, such as where a person with a disability lives, temporarily or permanently, or what health care and support services the person with a disability will receive.
An Order appointing a Guardian will indicate their powers. A Guardian cannot make decisions about the finances or estate of a person with a disability. That is the role of an administrator.
https://www.tascat.tas.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0004/636997/Administration.pdf
An administrator is a person or agency who has been appointed by the Tasmanian Civil and Administrative Tribunal, Guardianship Stream with legal authority to manage the estate or make financial decisions on behalf of an adult who lacks capacity to make such decisions because of a disability.
The EPA - Enduring Power of Attorney is when someone appoints another to be an Administrator dealing with the financial aspects.
The EG - Enduring Guardianship is when someone appoints another to be a Guardian dealing with living arrangements, health care etc.
Someone could appoint the same person for both, or different people.
Of course, YMMV depending on where you live.
M in Oz
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I decided to write a Christmas letter this year to include all the exciting things that have happened. It has been a very long time since I've written one!!
Let me know what you think ... is there anything I should add or leave out?? Do you think it is about the right length?
Machka in Oz
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1
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Good morning ladies!
The hospice nurse will be here tomorrow. I'm hoping I can overcome my fears and discuss the chair lift openly. My family has a huge passive-aggressive tradition. Now it's worse because my dad slips away from conversation or doesn't remember it.
So he goes off and does his own thing, like putting our data into a Web site for ads for chair lifts, without any discussion. It makes me suspect that he doesn't value my input and advice, even though he says he does. Then I intercepted the incoming phone calls and said we were not interested. It worked, and he seems to have forgotten the issue, but he's still not talking
about it.
I have horseback riding today, but it's really cold. And I'm not sure dad can be trusted to stay with mom. I will probably go anyway, part of supporting my mental health by leaving the
house twice a week. Getting a sitter is another thing I could discuss with Dad. Last time he left mom to go get a prescription. Both of them are in denial.
Hmm. Family communication. What a tricky thing.
Annie in Delaware
7 -
Betsy in wet NW WA2 -
Thank you for sharing your beautiful decorated trees and yard lights. I haven't decorated a tree in over 20 years but I love looking at them. Some people in my neighbourhood display their lighted trees in windows that can be seen from the street and my evening walks have allowed me to enjoy them.
Yesterday when Jake went out in the afternoon to the chiropractor, he stopped on the way back at a small café that is known for homemade soups to buy some for his supper. The soup comes with a cornbread muffin which he gave to me. It was a great treat.
We don't have as much rain here as the rest of the northwest. Our town is in a "blue hole" that keeps the rain away so we have days of drizzle and gray skies but not the accumulation that Sue and Lanette are getting.
Annie, no one has the answers to how to deal with all the challenges with your parents. Just come from a place of love and don't waste time and energy blaming or criticizing or expressing anything negative. Especially don't interpret any of their action as lack of respect for you. Remember that this chapter is all new for them. After a lifetime of being competent and in charge, things are changing and they don't have any better coping skills than you do. You are doing an amazing job. You are right in making time for yourself along with caring for them.
I don't know what we'll do for dinner on Christmas Day. For years we went to a favorite local Chinese restaurant but since we're staying away from restaurants, maybe we'll just buy Ben and Jerry's ice cream and call that a celebration.
Barbie in NW WA6 -
Good morning ladies,
Gina - what a beautiful Christmas village. Thank you for sharing that photo of it. Sounds like yummy appetizers at the church. I would have done a lot of sampling myself!
Tracey - beautiful tree.
Annie - glad the hospice nurse is coming tomorrow and can add good guidance regarding your dad and that chair lift. Hope you can get some horsebacking riding in or at least get in some type of break without too much worry about leaving them alone. You are caught in the middle of a stressful situation. Sending you much strength and again, big ((((HUGS))).
Lisa - interesting story about Kels finding her bio dad and relatives. My DB's adopted daughter did the geneology search and found her bio dad, who lived the next town over and was totally unaware of her birth. He was shocked but was happy - she's his only child.
Heather - has your DH's daughter tried talking to him about a medical POA? I wonder you could use his photograph to bypass the facial recognition on his computer if necessary. I bet a techhie could figure how to get around it and those passwords if needed. I think my DH used to somehow go into the registry and get into computers when he worked in IT at the college, but that was a while ago. They might be harder to crack these days.
Sue - the Cowlitz river south of me had moderate flooding, over Hwy 12 in some areas. It crested yesterday and the roads should be clearing quickly. I sure hope that's the end of the "atmospheric river" aka "pineapple express" situation for this season.
I need to get after Christmas cards. When I find nice ones, I tend to buy several boxes of different ones at a time and actually make a note of which ones I sent out each year so there aren't repeats of the same one the following year. Probably shouldn't worry about it, lol. I am ending up with a lot of older unused cards and think I'll drop them off at a nursing home or assisted living place so the residents will have some to give out. If they don't want them I'll run them over to the "free" box outside my dog groomer's. I have more of DH's clothing to drop off anyhow.
For the first time in a long time, I didn't sleep well last night. Problem solving the chicken run situation and reviewing my nephew's situation kept going through my mind.
Hopefully the rain has let up enough that I can get the hen's soggy run under control before the next big rain moves in this weekend. Pretty sure I can. I might need to redo the tarp roof - sunshine is predicted tomorrow, so it might be the best day to remove the old roof, let the sun evaporate that water, then attach a new one later in the afternoon. I'm supposed to join former co-workers for lunch tomorrow, I'm lukewarm about it (lots of times the people I want to see don't show up anyhow) so may just stick around home and get this job done.
Nephew stuff - thank you all for the prayers and good thoughts going to my sis and her family. Nephew is facing a lot of challenges.
Make it a good day, ladies.
Lanette
SW WA State4 -
So.....whirlwind week! Monday was freaking rough! DH was being a you know what. I ended up in bed at 715pm! Of course anxiety didn't allow me to sleep long, was out of bed at 2 AM. Tuesday, went to see Mrs Doubtfire with oldest daughter. The leading man was awesome!!!! But late night driving to and from Cincinnati. Yesterday my DH decided we are going away for the weekend. Nothing like last minute at Christmas time. We are heading to one of my favorite places. Of course, that meant that I had to get things done last night, laundry, pack, dinner, clean up, vacuum pack meat that was in fridge, i didn't stop moving until bedtime. I guess that was a plus. Just couldn't find the energy to get the last 800 steps in to hit 10K though. I only had 4k when I got home!
He packs like we are going to BFE. I have a carry on size suitcase, a winter coat, a rain coat and a pair for winter weather boots. He has two large duffles and two bags for snacks and two coolers. It is crazy. I finished up gathering last minute things this morning, unplugged unnecessary lights, emptied dishwasher, showered, made bed, got ready, put my car away, pulled out truck. Luckily he loaded everything into truck. It will be fun, but last minute get everything ready was a little stressful!
Now to get work done since I won't be here Friday or Saturday.
Annie Hugs!!!
Northwest ladies- Stay safe and as dry as possible.
I know there was more, but really need to get working.
Kylia in Ohio4 -
Lanette Hugs for your family. So Sad. Christmas season is so hard mentally!2
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Annie - No advice from me, dear heart, but hope you can get out and get your ride. Your mental health gets enough battering with all that's going on.
Machka - I was so glad that was funny, because I find Christmas newsletters a lot like Christmas fruitcake. Some people like 'em, some don't! I inflicted them on folks for the first few years we were married, but I'm sure lots of the family were glad when I stopped!
Lanette - I'm so sorry about your nephew's situation, and hope things work out for the best for all concerned.
Allie - I absolutely LOVE that sand table. Truly gorgeous, including the lighthouse on the top.
Tracey - I loved the truck paintings, and Santa's hot tub looks like a really fun gift. I think Michaela did a great job on the tree, and I love the soft blue light in the pictures. Absolutely beautiful. Watching the kids and grandkids take over Christmas, especially, decorating the tree, was one of my mother's joys in the season. She loved this time of year.
Gina - Love the village!
Pip - I remember the first time you posted that pic of Yogi, the light on his fur is just gorgeous, and what a great picture of a terrific pup.
Michele - The skateboarding turtle is a cutie.
Heather - I have to admit that setting up the trust and will, and settling the POA, etc., for me and Corey at the beginning of this year was years of weight and worry off my shoulders. Now I've just got to get the Big Book o'Death reorganized and up to date. That and the old photographs.
Laurie in Sacramento - Glad to have you with us, you fit right in! Don't forget your signature, and you'll probably find there's more interaction if you do. Keeps us reminded who and where you are....
More from me later, most likely,
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR6 -
Morning dear friends
Im staying in today mostly because they are working on the hallway here and I dont want to get in the middle of them laying carpet.4 -
VeryVeggieVegan wrote: »Annie - re: hospice, trust them to know what to do when. The SNF staff kept telling us that dad was ok and could hang on for months. The hospice nurse was the one who told me to hop on a plane (the fam lives on the east coast). If not for that nurse, I might not have been able to sit with dad as he went through the dying process.
Thanks for the warm welcome, Debbie!
Rebecca - I can only imagine the chaos that ensued trying to train a piglet! That’s a great story!
Lanette - I’m so sorry this is happening to your family. I hope everyone is eventually ok. It’s a super tough thing to go through.
Pip, Yogi is gorgeous! Tell him congratulations on becoming a star!
It’s been a long work day and I’m tired 😴 Off to settle in with some dinner. Bed is going to be early tonight!
Everyone on the rainy west coast, stay dry, safe, and healthy!
Thank you all - I love reading your posts!
"Tried" being the operative word.😁🤗. Charlotte was a troubled piglet with issues, and I spooked easy as a child. Her and I just didn't get along. I will respect your vegan ways and not tell you the rest of the story. 💖🤗
I live on Whidbey island, which is in the Puget Sound in Washington state. Its total area miles is 37 miles long and 10 miles at its widest point. There is a Naval Air Station here, and when we moved here from Oregon, our eldest was stationed here, and was our roommate. Or we were his roommate...anywhoo, we share rent on a big @$$ house here, which coming from a small apartment on the Oregon coast, that's been quite a plus. I think having husband waaay upstairs in his man cave has helped our marriage.😂😂 Its also nice to use the base facilities, as my husband is retired Navy. My middle son is happily married and lives about 5 hours from us in Washington state. They have two kids, I will post the Christmas photo session my daughter in law did. I try to visit a couple times a year, taking the Amtrak train, and husband drops me off, to have a bit of a vacation (from me😁), but I seem to get him up to speed on the drive home after he fetches me. I tend to yammer on and on in car rides. I see it as a talent, and keep him entertained. He uses other descriptive words for my talent!!
😂
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa3 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Machka - I don’t know if I could convince DH to go out, but I like the idea. Of course, this year he will be sleeping most of the day anyway.
Heather - I’ve seen those books I think they are a brilliant idea.
Your outfit sounds lovely.
I too would like to have dinnerware like yours, unfortunately I have to allow DH to have some things. 😂
Lanette - your ladies are very fortunate that they are in your care.
How tragic for your sister’s family.
Lisa - It sounds like Kelsey will have some people to meet when she returns from Hawaii. I imagine that there are a few stories like that that come out of DNA tests.
Allie - I love the table, what a great keepsake to have.
Beth - it sounds like just getting away without the purchases was nice for you and DH.
My MFP date was Feb 12, 2012 - in all honesty though I didn’t actually use it for a couple or three years if not more in there. I currently have a 5.84 year streak though.
Rebecca - I have family history on all sides except my paternal grandmother’s going back centuries. I need to spend some time going through it and organizing it.
My Dad’s father’s side i know goes back to 1600’s England. I’m 1995 my cousin and I wrote a book on the history following the direct line to us.
Joy - it’s not often you get service like that! It’s great the delivery went smooth.
Pip - what a great picture of Yogi, I bet Kirby will love the calendar.
Lanette - I’ve been trying to convince DH to go back to the gym since he won’t go on antidepressants. I think it would help a lot.
Allie - my Dad never did a POA but he did a will and they named my brother POA for my Mom for when she needed it about 7 days before he died.
My grandparents never had one.
In Canada it is usually the wife or child that makes decisions. It works well as long as the kids get along. My FIL did not have one and my SIL feels that her mother didn’t make the proper decisions for DH’s dad. It’s caused some hard feelings since he never let his wishes be known.
Rebecca - I chuckled at your comment to Debbie about the tree being decorated to her liking. Last year and this year Michaela and Kaitlyn decorated my tree. This year Kaitlyn mostly handed ornaments to Michaela and Michaela placed them. The top of my tree is a little bare.
Michele - love your turtle.
I went to ceramics tonight. I wanted to get a start on my son in law’s gift. Tomorrow is my regular night. I should be able to get it done by next weeks last night of classes until January.
Tomorrow afternoon we are going to Kaitlyn’s, she is going to cut DH’s hair for him.
Tracey in Edmonton
Awe, beautiful tree!!!!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa1 -
2023 December Kindness
Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate the New Mexico skies.6. Leave a positive message for someone else to find. Did this yesterday.
Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%,100,100,83%
Feeling sick all month. Colitis crap!
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min /23
Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min /20
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
3 months SOBER!
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5907,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%-84% 5882-)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 (10,00%) 50%
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 225-208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change, 100%)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)98/96 100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2, 173.4, 173.4 (600%) 100%,100%
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 0/23. (681%,100,100,83)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 48/12
(100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 11/12—(100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0,0
500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met—met 99%
September met——99%
October met —90.7%
November met—75%
December met—
1.Spread kindness and share the December calendar with others. Sharing with my MFP friends.
2. Contact someone you can’t be with to see how they are doing. Forgot to do this yesterday. Hope to do it today. I did this on Sunday 12/3.
3. Offer to help someone who is facing difficulties at the moment. Helped my fellow host in learning what to do in 2 separate incidents with campers.
4. Support a campaign, cause, or charity you really care about.
5. Give a gift to someone who is homeless or lonely. Did not do this. No chance to.
7. Give kind comments to as many people as possible today. I will try. A bit down today. Not feeling well.8. Do something helpful for a friend or family member.
9. Notice when you’re hard on yourself or others and be kind instead.
10. Listen wholeheartedly to others without judging them.
11. But an extra item and donate to a food bank.
12. Be generous. Feed someone with food, love or kindness today.
13. See how many be people you can smile at today.
14. Share a happy memory or inspiring thought with a loved one.
15. Say hello to your neighbor and brighten their day.
16. Look for something positive to say to everyone you meet today.
17. Give thanks. List the kind things others have done for you.
18. Ask for help and let someone else know the how of giving.
19. Contact someone who may be alone or feeling isolated.
20. Help someone by giving away something you don’t need.
21. Appreciate kindness and thank people who do things for you.
22. Congratulate someone for an achievement that may go unnoticed.
23. Choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.
24. Bring joy to others. Share something that made you laugh.
25. Treat everyone with kindness including yourself.
26. Get outside, pick up litter or do something kind for nature.
27. Call a relative who is far away to say hello and have a chat.
28. Be kind to the planet. Eat less meat and use less energy.
29. Turn off digital devices and really listen to people.
30. Let someone know how much you appreciated them and why.
31. Plan some new acts of kindness for 2024.
The results of your personality test are in. Here they are:
Personality type: Logistician (ISTJ-T) Traits: Introverted – 69%, Observant – 58%, Thinking – 75%, Judging – 56%, Turbulent – 54% Role: Sentinel Strategy: Constant Improvement
Joined MFPL 5/26/20102 -
I decided to write a Christmas letter this year to include all the exciting things that have happened. It has been a very long time since I've written one!!
Let me know what you think ... is there anything I should add or leave out?? Do you think it is about the right length?
Machka in Oz
That Christmas letter....priceless! I took a screenshot and am sharing it on my Facebook page.💖🤗
Its perfect!😂
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa2 -
Athena and Eli sweetness💖🤗
My sisters latest purchase. She repainted it a bit to look more like Tucker.💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
10
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