WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023
Replies
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Pip ~ Sounds like your mom is like Debbie's MnL! You are wise to distance yourself but it is sad for your brother. Liked your photo of Yogi the Calendar boy and of the bay view.
Tina ~ Hope you DH finds a new part time job soon!
Margaret ~ Your outside lights are so pretty!
Debbie ~ I can't imagine doing all the candy and treat making that you do. You are to be commended for the time and money you spend seeing that others enjoy what you have made. It is your gift. Hope you continue to stand up to DH's mom. She has gotten away with bad behavior for way too long.
Michele ~ Would love to see photos of the Elf and Santa dressed for the party.
Rori ~ Hugs!
Annie ~ You are doing well and being very insightful regarding this time in your parent's life.
Visited my friend from college who is now living in assisted living due to chronic COPD. It breaks my heart to see the condition she in at this time. She was always the one in our group of friends who kept us all together. She loved getting in her car and driving to see new places. Now, she is hooked up to a very long cord that is attached to her oxygen tank.
Carol in GA
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2023 December Kindness
Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate parents that raise respectful and honest children. There is a lack of that in our world that is so sad.7. Give kind comments to as many people as possible today. I will try. A bit down today. Not feeling well.
Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%,100,100,83%
Feeling sick all month. Colitis crap!
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min /23
Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min /20
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
3 months SOBER!
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5907,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%-84% 5882-)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 (10,00%) 50%
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 227-208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change, 100%)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)99/96 100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2, 173.4, 173.4 (600%) 100%,100%
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 5/23. (681%,100,100,83)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 49/12
(100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 12/12—(100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0,0
500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met—met 99%
September met——99%
October met —90.7%
November met—75%
December met—
1.Spread kindness and share the December calendar with others. Sharing with my MFP friends.
2. Contact someone you can’t be with to see how they are doing. Forgot to do this yesterday. Hope to do it today. I did this on Sunday 12/3.
3. Offer to help someone who is facing difficulties at the moment. Helped my fellow host in learning what to do in 2 separate incidents with campers.
4. Support a campaign, cause, or charity you really care about.
5. Give a gift to someone who is homeless or lonely. Did not do this. No chance to.
6. Leave a positive message for someone else to find. Did this yesterday.
8. Do something helpful for a friend or family member. Will do!
9. Notice when you’re hard on yourself or others and be kind instead. I will try to remember.10. Listen wholeheartedly to others without judging them.
11. But an extra item and donate to a food bank.
12. Be generous. Feed someone with food, love or kindness today.
13. See how many be people you can smile at today.
14. Share a happy memory or inspiring thought with a loved one.
15. Say hello to your neighbor and brighten their day.
16. Look for something positive to say to everyone you meet today.
17. Give thanks. List the kind things others have done for you.
18. Ask for help and let someone else know the how of giving.
19. Contact someone who may be alone or feeling isolated.
20. Help someone by giving away something you don’t need.
21. Appreciate kindness and thank people who do things for you.
22. Congratulate someone for an achievement that may go unnoticed.
23. Choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.
24. Bring joy to others. Share something that made you laugh.
25. Treat everyone with kindness including yourself.
26. Get outside, pick up litter or do something kind for nature.
27. Call a relative who is far away to say hello and have a chat.
28. Be kind to the planet. Eat less meat and use less energy.
29. Turn off digital devices and really listen to people.
30. Let someone know how much you appreciated them and why.
31. Plan some new acts of kindness for 2024.
The results of your personality test are in. Here they are:
Personality type: Logistician (ISTJ-T) Traits: Introverted – 69%, Observant – 58%, Thinking – 75%, Judging – 56%, Turbulent – 54% Role: Sentinel Strategy: Constant Improvement
Joined MFPL 5/26/20100 -
YAY for me! I got my Christmas cards out and the shopping done or shipped!! I am proud of myself, I’m usually a lot slower about this! Not many decorations for us with no real space to do it. I too had bubble lights on the tree growing up. I didn’t know they still sell them. I’ll need to think where I could put them before I get some, but I’d love to get some.
Not been feeling well lately. In fact, it’s been almost 2 months of yech! My NP didn’t do or say anything about it b/c my blood counts, except for the kidney numbers were good. I talked to my Gastrointestinal doc and she blew it off as a symptom of my colitis (but for 2 months??). I don’t see the Renal doc until Jan 4, so will hang in there until then unless it gets too bad, then it will be the ER. They moved my cataract surgery to next Friday instead of Wednesday, which gets me out of the camp Superintendents ‘party’. They don’t do much but drink and eat so was going to come up with something to miss it. Now I don’t have to fake it! I don’t do anesthesia well, so don’t know how I’ll be the day after.8 -
Today is:
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dlfk202000 wrote: »
Sounds so much like MIL-She was back at it this evening. Just because he didn't go over early to put her garbage can in. We have told her to leave it out there and he will put it away. It can stay out a few hours. She went out and pulled it in. Last time she did it she fell, hit her head and a lady driving by called 911. Dh got over there when the ambulance etc was there. She was fine.
He came so upset/mad- after about 20 min of going off, he went in and laid down and slept a few hours. Just got up to eat before going back to bed-working at 2AM tomorrow.
Guess my talk with her didn't do anything.
I will call the garbage company. I heard that if you call and say you need help with putting the cans out or putting them away to just let them know and the garbage guy will do it for her.
I will be calling Monday.
[/quote]
If mom fell inside the house, she’s SOL. . They must be related, ughhh5 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »
Sounds so much like MIL-She was back at it this evening. Just because he didn't go over early to put her garbage can in. We have told her to leave it out there and he will put it away. It can stay out a few hours. She went out and pulled it in. Last time she did it she fell, hit her head and a lady driving by called 911. Dh got over there when the ambulance etc was there. She was fine.
He came so upset/mad- after about 20 min of going off, he went in and laid down and slept a few hours. Just got up to eat before going back to bed-working at 2AM tomorrow.
Guess my talk with her didn't do anything.
I will call the garbage company. I heard that if you call and say you need help with putting the cans out or putting them away to just let them know and the garbage guy will do it for her.
I will be calling Monday.
Keep doing it anyway!
It's not going to work miracles the very first time. You've got to be consistent.
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Keep doing it anyway??? Lmao! Not with mom, we’ve been “talking to her “ for over 50 years, if it hasn’t changed her ways by now or made her see the error of her ways, it ain’t gonna. I love her because she gave me birth, but as a person, I don’t like her. I forgive her for what she’s done to me and how our family has ended up. She’s 88, will b 89 in July, I hate to say it but she will die an *kitten*. The truth hurts but there you go5 -
Pip ~ Sounds like your mom is like Debbie's MnL! You are wise to distance yourself but it is sad for your brother. Liked your photo of Yogi the Calendar boy and of the bay view.
Tina ~ Hope you DH finds a new part time job soon!
Margaret ~ Your outside lights are so pretty!
Debbie ~ I can't imagine doing all the candy and treat making that you do. You are to be commended for the time and money you spend seeing that others enjoy what you have made. It is your gift. Hope you continue to stand up to DH's mom. She has gotten away with bad behavior for way too long.
Michele ~ Would love to see photos of the Elf and Santa dressed for the party.
Rori ~ Hugs!
Annie ~ You are doing well and being very insightful regarding this time in your parent's life.
Visited my friend from college who is now living in assisted living due to chronic COPD. It breaks my heart to see the condition she in at this time. She was always the one in our group of friends who kept us all together. She loved getting in her car and driving to see new places. Now, she is hooked up to a very long cord that is attached to her oxygen tank.
Carol in GA
I haven’t run into anyone (yet) that can beat our mother as far as cruelty goes. We retired over here to be closer to family and to be able to visit her more but shame ended up shooting that to hell5 -
So sorry, Pip and Debbie, about the parents. Unfortunately, hope is our worst enemy. Our only choice is to decide, with strict boundaries, how much, or no, interaction we are going to have with them. No interaction is possible, though many find that hard. Emotionally immature people are never going to miraculously change. All we can do is decide what is possible for us, and stick to it. That can mean walking out if an argument starts, limiting our contact to a rare phone call, or postcard, and not engaging with tantrums. It's not you, it's them. We don't have to put up with anyone in our lives who makes us feel bad. We are adults, we can choose who we allow into our space. That goes for anyone, including husbands. We cannot be healthy if we are living in an unloving, unsupportive environment. Boundaries are the most important things to learn for mental health. Sometimes our boundary means walking away completely, sometimes it means setting strict limits. It's hard, and, like Machka says, it requires practice. We won't get it right all at once. Mistakes are part of the process. But we owe it to ourselves to keep trying.
By the way, the other person is going to be upset. Because they are self-centered they are never going to see our point of view. Never. Don't expect it. It's OK to upset them. See them as toddlers who only think of themselves. We all deserve an environment where we are respected and supported.
Good luck!!!
I spent much of the afternoon dozing. John brought me a cup of tea and it went cold. I still feel slightly nauseous, but the aches are better. A quiet evening with the TV, I think. I'm going to try to make a mushroom omelette, but it might not happen.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx7 -
Deadenddiva – welcome! Come back often
Allie – how is SMiles today????
Jess, Colby and Vince went to Waffle House. I was at work. Honestly, not that I feel I missed anything. When I got home, they weren’t home so I went for my walk. It did start to drizzle while I was out. Why didn’t I take my umbrella? Well, hopefully, it’ll be nice tomorrow so we can finish the outside decorations. Even if it is cold.
Put a load of laundry in the wash. I’m sitting here in my PJ bottoms because I was wearing jeans and I wanted to wash them. I’ll just wear these until I have to put on the elf costume.
Kylia – good luck with dh
Carol – I’m sorry for your friend
Have almost all of the shopping done except what I need to order from Amazon in the middle of the month. Mailed the Christmas cards. At least I have all the popcorn strung. Speaking of popcorn – we started putting it on the trees last night. I found that I didn’t make a tight enough knot so it kept coming undone. What a pain. Now I need to work on wrapping presents
Rita – I hope you’re feeling better soon
Need to get ready for the party.
Michele NC3 -
Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Good evening Everyone. I have just read about 12 pages but didn't take notes.
Debbie: I hope your MIL eases up over the next couple of weeks so you can have a good holiday season.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia
Oh, I am sure the two of them will ruin Christmas yet again if I let it bother me.
I can't remember the last time they didn't.
There have been some really bad ones- One of the worst was 3 yrs ago. MIL threw a fit because we didn't stop and see her on Christmas eve night before heading to my parents(Christmas is the only holiday I have spent with my family in over 20 yrs because of dh's work and being expected to be at his families every single holiday, 4th of July included). She called as we were driving and they got into it, yelling and all. She said we should spend it with her because she is older than my parents. Dh drove up and just dropped me off and went back to his mom's. Got there and she said he didn't need to come back-he stayed there 15 min and went home. He, son and his girlfriend drove back to mom and dad's. Over an hour away to spend a few hours with my family before we had to rush back to spend time with MIL BUT, we had to drop son's girlfriend off at our house because witch of a MIL told dh and I that the girlfriend wasn't allowed in her house. We told son that she just wanted family.
That was the last time I saw my dad, less than a week later, he passed away from Covid.
Last year was the first year I didn't spend with my mom- had the reconstruction surgery after melanoma removed the week before and couldn't drive. Mom understood and I went up a few weeks later.
This week, I will drive myself up either Saturday or Sunday and dh and son/girlfriend can come up when they want. I may stay up and come home Tuesday but most likely Monday afternoon-to keep the peace with MIL so it isn't worse for DH. I will have extra time with mom before they get up there. We like our quiet time with just us. Two years ago I did that and it worked great. I was able to give her a special gift and we had a good cry. It was a key chain that I had made for her with my dad's writing on it. That was her first Christmas without dad in 65 yrs.
Debbie6 -
dh is diabetic and has been for quiet a few years. He still snacks way too much and rarely on healthy options, eats the wrong at meal times. I try cooking healthy. Many times he says he isn't hungry when that food is ready but I see him snacking a few hours later and not usually what I cooked.Welcomes!
Hugs!
We ate breakfast and dinner yesterday. After breakfast, in spite of 10k steps, I really wasn't hungry again. The joints hurt today due to the salt. DH requires food, though he has to start walking more. His belly is too big for a pre-diabetic. Let's see if I can make that happen. Drinks and snacks too much. I can encourage, but can't do it for him. The thought of buying larger shirts might be his encouragement.....
Machka Love the raspberries!
Kylia not in Ohio temporarily
He does not exercise at all and hasn't for the past 30 yrs almost. Most exercise is too hard for him now-double hip replacements TWICE(first set failed 4 yrs after having them) but he could do more. He has walked the wetlands with me once but has no desire to do it again.
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If mom fell inside the house, she’s SOL. . They must be related, ughhh
DH installed cameras all over in MIL's house after she fell. He can watch her while he isn't there.A little peace of mind for him. She didn't like it at first but now she is ok with it, for the most part. There are times he has to readjust them because she turns them(says she didn't do anything). It was able to let him go back to work a few hours and be able to check on her. Sees what she is doing- like when she says she didn't eat all day but he watched her on the camera eating a few times that day.4 -
Good morning, ladies.
Machka, love the raspberries pic...they are my favorite fruit.
Heather, hope you feel better.
Totally agree with Heather's comments regarding dealing with difficult people in our lives. Sometimes we have to make the difficult decision to get them out of our lives. I have and don't have any regrets.
Will be decorating the house today. I set up my little Christmas village last night and it survived the cats crawling around and through it so thankful for that. I have it on a coffee table and put a rug underneath the table so hopefully if they knock anything off it won't break. Will try and post a pic a bit later. I can see I'm not going to have the space to expand on it too much....maybe a couple of more buildings and then will be adding things like people, trees and smaller accents. I have a bridge and need to add the stream that goes with it. Will be watching for a sale later next year.
Will be doing a bit of baking this upcoming week.
Enjoy the day.
Joy
Have to start doing a bit of baking later in the week. Not planning on doing too much....butter tarts for sure.5 -
5075070
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dessert tray done and ready to go to the ladies luncheon. Only thing that didn't make it on the plate or in the boxes was caramel corn.
Will make a few more things then start packing them up to give out.7 -
Barbie ... someone told me if you wait long enough everything becomes "vintage!" So those bubble lights on the photo of your tree are getting up there!
Heather ... so sorry you've come down with some kind of crud ... hope you feel well soon!
Rita ... two months seems like a long time to me to be feeling unwell ...
Debbie ... your treats look delicious ... is the espresso blueberry fudge in the middle of the plate?
Karen VA ... hey Karen ... how are you doing?
Last night I baked Peanut Butter Cup Cookies for the cookie exchange I'm attending this evening. They're not my favorites, but I was able to crank them out fast. I take two recipes and combine them ... so think of a peanut butter cookie with a peanut butter cup pushed in and then the edges smoothed out of the peanut butter cup as it melts. Red and green sprinkles.
Today I received a call that my mom has Covid. Not a surprise as it's rearing it's head in our area and her facility has had multiple cases among the residents and staff. She is asymptomatic at the moment except for extreme fatigue and weakness which is what prompted their test. We're hoping it remains a mild case. I did visit with her this morning (in full PPE) to explain the situation and changes in her schedule as a result of being quarantined. She was very confused but I think she understood ... at least for today.
Beth near Buffalo10 -
Beth sorry to hear about your mom 0
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Beth ~ Prayers for your mom.
Debbie ~ Beautiful tray of sweets and so prettily arranged.
Carol in GA0 -
Oh, Beth, I’m so sorry for your mom’s Covid and confusion. Prayers.
Today I’ve been working through my to-do list that I ignored earlier in the week. I wrapped all the presents i have in the house and made a plan to finish on Monday after my dentist appointment.
Tomorrow is my granddaughter's Christmas dance recital. I always enjoy that, but hate the 2-hr drive. I have two audio books on Libby to keep me company.
I am currently reading Breaking Free from Body Shame by Jess Connelly. I am really enjoying it. I am trying really, really hard to shift my mindset away from diet culture. It is actually helping me to make better choices and resist the urge to binge. I highly recommend it for those looking for a Christian perspective. If that is not your thing, just keep on scrolling.
Annie, we got my dad a stand assist, too. It was more like human hand trucks. Yours sounds slightly different. It was good for him after his hip surgery because his upper body strength was still excellent.
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Beth - So sorry your mum has caught the dreaded C. Hope she rallies soonest.
I did eat the mushroom omelette, though I probably shouldn't have. Ended up with stomach ache. I'm really bloated. I stayed downstairs with John to watch a recording of Midsomer Murders that we have only seen once before, and now I'm upstairs with my tablet, phone and Kindle. I'm hoping for better tomorrow.
I heard this woman talking on my favourite podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, and she sounded very sensible.
Another book I thought was helpful is Nedra Glover Tawwab, 'Set Boundaries, Find Peace'.
Of course, books are only any good if you read them, and put them into practice. It all takes practice, practice, practice, and it isn't easy. However, we can do hard things and our lives will be much better for it.
"He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." I talk about this in the first chapters of my new book.
While listening to the podcast, two sessions, it hit me hard how my mother was the epitome of the emotionally immature parent she was describing. She betrayed me terribly when I was a child and teenager. The result was, I eventually learned to keep a geographical distance, and only visited her for the shortest amount of time. She was not nasty to me, just self-absorbed. I did find myself loving her and spending more time with her for her last few years as she grew frailer. My lovely brother and his wife, and her mother, did the brunt of the work. I was there towards the end. Family feelings are complicated, but we must decide where we stand for our own peace and happiness. There is so much help out there. We are not alone. Asking for help shows strength.
Much love to all. I hope I can sleep tonight!
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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DrKatie - I agree with you about the obsession with diet culture. But I think you have to have got to a certain level of self-respect and trust to be able to do it that way. I have given up counting calories and weighing myself. I am much happier for it and no ill effects. My clothes mostly fit! Yes, I am a bit bigger than I was, but I know that is healthier for the older woman. I eat usually very healthily, normally virtually sugar free, very little ultra processed or junk food, and exercise every day. My weakness is a drink or two in the evening. I would like to cut that back a bit. Tonight I only had half a drink. That feels good!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
5085080
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Here’s a pic of my little Christmas village. The cats are wrinkling my snow blanket but at least they aren’t chewing or knocking anything off….at least so far….I have 5 cats.11 -
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Debbie ... your treats look delicious ... is the espresso blueberry fudge in the middle of the plate?
Today I received a call that my mom has Covid. Not a surprise as it's rearing it's head in our area and her facility has had multiple cases among the residents and staff. She is asymptomatic at the moment except for extreme fatigue and weakness which is what prompted their test. We're hoping it remains a mild case. I did visit with her this morning (in full PPE) to explain the situation and changes in her schedule as a result of being quarantined. She was very confused but I think she understood ... at least for today.
Beth near Buffalo
Sorry to hear your mom has covid- pray it stays asymptomatic. My former mother in law has had it three times I think- all three stayed that way.
Yes, the dark one is the espresso blueberry hazelnut fudge. Espresson cho. chips, dried blueberries and chopped hazelnuts
Simple recipe- I just make up new combinations with what we have on hand. The dried blueberries and hazelnuts we got free when I helped at the food program/food bank(also got a ton of walnuts-they had way too many and after weeks of giving them out while continuing to get more from the food bank, people were not wanting them. The lady gave me a case of them. We got dried cherries before so those went in one of the fudge- cherry, walnut, coconut. Some in white choc and others in dark choc.
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Joy, one of the funnier jokes I ever read was that we know the world isn't flat because if it was, the cats would have knocked everything off already. They find pushing things off edges hard to resist, don't they?
Love your village, hope you can keep them from messing it up! :I)
Heather, Hope your crud is receding, it sounds awful! Sage advice on dealing with the adults who choose to be awful. I have tossed more than one person out of my life for exactly those reasons. I've always thought regret was one of the more useless emotions, anyway, but have genuinely improved my life by making sure that some people are no longer in it.
Regarding diet culture, it's part of the reason I don't lay poundage on my goals, just simply "be lighter." I have lost an awful lot of my time, money and emotion (but never a lot of weight) in trying to diet my way to some imagined better life, when in reality, I just wanted to feel better about myself. There are better ways.
Beth - I'm so sorry your mom has caught covid, and that her confusion is growing. Much love headed your way.
Machka - Love the raspberries!
Rita - Hope you're feeling better soon, and that the surgery is successful and recovery is quick and pain free!
Evie - Sorry you're not feeling well, too! Hope you're feeling better soon, too.
Corey's in the kitchen cooking burgers - It was a good day, but exhausting. More tomorrow on that, most likely.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR4 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 59min 40sec, 33elev, 3.03ap, 83ahr, 93mhr, 6.22mi= 581c
Strava app= 762c
Walk home to store then gym- 15.31min, .78mi= 80c
Strava app= 96c
Lateral machine- 25min, 2-10width, 2-8resist, 1071ahr, 132mhr, 11laps, 2.56mi= 198c
Walk gym to home- 11.15min, .54mi= 65c
Strava app= 67c
Total cal 9244 -
Heather, you are absolutely right about the self-esteem component. I am learning to embrace the body I seem to have settled into and be thankful that I have maintained the 50+ lb weight loss that MFP helped me achieve. I know my profile only shows 40, but I was really about 15 lbs down from my heaviest when I started with this app.It honestly feels like I actually start to lose a little more when I quit trying so hard and just embrace the healthy choices. I am holding my weight in open hands and letting it settle where it will settle. I’d like to see another 20 or 30 fall off, but if it doesn’t, I am so much healthier than I was.
I am embracing the metabolic reboot plan my nutritionist designed for me, shooting for a loosey-goosey 80% compliance rate without actually doing any math. It does help to log my food. I probably won’t ever be able to free myself totally from the diet culture mentality, but I can try my best not to ever body shame anyone, even back-handedly. That includes refraining from judging their food. But, dang! It’s hard. My mama was/is the queen of it. My sister and I have tried to retrain her, but it is too ingrained in her 91 year old self. And it is hard when I see my daughter walking the same path I did and my niece doing that crazy MLM diet that thinks a celery stick and a half-piece of sugar-free gum is an acceptable snack. If you know, you know. Sometimes I get so tired of it.
Sorry for the vent. If y’all can’t tell, I’m on a rampage today.6 -
Beth so sorry to hear about your mom's Covid on top of the confusion. So sad.
Rita hope you feel better soon.
And healing wishes to anyone else who wants them!
Annie in Delaware
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Here’s a pic of my little Christmas village. The cats are wrinkling my snow blanket but at least they aren’t chewing or knocking anything off….at least so far….I have 5 cats.
Joy - How cute - I love the greenhouse.
Thank you for sharing this photo and I hope the kitties find something else interesting besides your village.
Lanette2
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