WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    edited December 2023
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    So sorry, Pip and Debbie, about the parents. Unfortunately, hope is our worst enemy. Our only choice is to decide, with strict boundaries, how much, or no, interaction we are going to have with them. No interaction is possible, though many find that hard. Emotionally immature people are never going to miraculously change. All we can do is decide what is possible for us, and stick to it. That can mean walking out if an argument starts, limiting our contact to a rare phone call, or postcard, and not engaging with tantrums. It's not you, it's them. We don't have to put up with anyone in our lives who makes us feel bad. We are adults, we can choose who we allow into our space. That goes for anyone, including husbands. We cannot be healthy if we are living in an unloving, unsupportive environment. Boundaries are the most important things to learn for mental health. Sometimes our boundary means walking away completely, sometimes it means setting strict limits. It's hard, and, like Machka says, it requires practice. We won't get it right all at once. Mistakes are part of the process. But we owe it to ourselves to keep trying.
    By the way, the other person is going to be upset. Because they are self-centered they are never going to see our point of view. Never. Don't expect it. It's OK to upset them. See them as toddlers who only think of themselves. We all deserve an environment where we are respected and supported.
    Good luck!!!

    I spent much of the afternoon dozing. John brought me a cup of tea and it went cold. I still feel slightly nauseous, but the aches are better. A quiet evening with the TV, I think. I'm going to try to make a mushroom omelette, but it might not happen.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    Absolutely right!!

    And I have used the "You have no right to speak to me like that" line with people ... and have gotten up and walked out.

    When I say,

    Keep doing it anyway!

    It's not going to work miracles the very first time. You've got to be consistent.

    I mean that you've got to decide what works for you and your mental health and keep doing it over and over.

    That might mean getting up and walking out every time something flares up.
    That might mean saying the same thing each time ... and then getting up and walking out.
    That might mean not answering the phone if a particular person calls or not reading emails.

    Whatever works.

    With my difficult coworker in the place I worked before, sometimes I told her "I am not working on that right now" and got up and walked out to climb some stairs. I did that several times.

    Sometimes, I put my ear buds in and turned up my music. I did that a few times.

    She'd send me emails in the evening and on weekends, and I refused to read them then. It upset her because she thought I'd be ready with an answer the moment I walked into work so I would tell her that I would read my emails when I was ready to read my email, and if she continued to stand over me, I would not read my emails.

    But I wouldn't let her get away with any of her usual tricks to be the centre of attention.


    M in Oz
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,387 Member
    👽🛸

  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,072 Member
    <3
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,147 Member
    edited December 2023
    (((Rori)))
    Pg 19
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,411 Member
    Beth-good to know no breaks for Mom with fall. Do they check her oxygen levels regularly at the home? Going below 90 is dangerous. Of course, the pneumonia can explain a lot-and it isn't unusual to have with Covid. Hopfefully treatment kicks in soon.

    Michelle-nice trees-lots of work!

    Rori-can;t remember if I sent prayers for your friend, her family, and you, I think you made the perfect choice to cope.

    Heather-don't push yourself-glad you are on the mend.

    Woke up in the middle of the night with some stomach pain/upset. Wasn't sure how things may exit. Calmed down after a bit-I took a tums and was able to get back to sleep. May be part of why I was so achy yesterday-there is a stomach think going around here, Will move slowly today getting some things done, I see urologist tomorrow for standard visit-maybe that is part of my issue. Oh well-I think this is all survivable.

    Think I willl stretch out on couch for a bit.

    Ginny in Ohio
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,788 Member
    edited December 2023
    Michele - You look great in your elf costume! :D The trees are amazing! I'm curious, do you still really enjoy doing them?

    Is it Linda with the village? The greenhouse is so sweet! :)<3 You will enjoy adding to the village over time.
    I love miniature worlds. I made a whole dolls' house once, and then wrote my very first children's book about it. It was the start of a whole new career. I love toy cars, people, animals, train sets etc, but I don't have many, because I try to keep my possessions to a minimum. I often fantasise about getting some though. Properly contained and displayed, I think it would be OK. I'm still thinking about retrieving my mini Santons from the garage loft for Christmas.

    I'm feeling so much better and completed all my exercises. Ginny, do you have something similar? Do you feel nauseous and achy? <3

    Now I'm popping out to get a bit of shopping.
    We are totally out of cold meat and smoked salmon.
    Or I was. Now it's raining. Might go later this afternoon.

    Hoping to experiment with some soft pastel art this afternoon. Many , many years since I've tried, but I kept the boxes.

    Tonight is sea bass, roasted cauliflower, and sauce vierge.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    exermom wrote: »
    Some of our trees. I'll post the rest after they are finished being decorated
    The disney and Charlie Brown tree that rotates

    o21p2271uqm2.jpg

    The Christmas Vacation and M&M tree. It rotates. I made the tree skirt

    9sa5gag1opvw.jpg

    The Charlie Brown tree: (I just thought it was cute)

    7ur9fayaqxeb.jpg

    Our Main tree. This was my first attempt at crochet (probably about 25+ years ago)

    fepn6tdh5etc.jpg

    Our small tree. I made the tree skirt. Vince made the ceramic tree (it's 3 separate pieces)

    urv5f2i2qy7c.jpg

    I also strung all this popcorn. Remember that I'd start in May so that I can do it on my deck? Well, this is the result.

    Michele NC

    Pretty ... and so many! You must have a huge house!

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I did eat the mushroom omelette, though I probably shouldn't have. Ended up with stomach ache. I'm really bloated.

    Much love to all. I hope I can sleep tonight!
    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    If I ate a mushroom omelette, I'd have more than a stomach ache, I'd be sick!

  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,147 Member
    (((Lanette)))
    Beth: Sorry that your mom has Covid. I hope it’s a very mild case. Later. She fell? Glad to hear that there were no breakages.
    Heather: Glad to know you are on the mend. I thoroughly endorse what you said about distancing from toxic people in our lives.
    Pip: I also had to distance myself from my mother. Long story, but she was a bitter, unhappy person, and I often bore the brunt of her anger. In retrospect, I do think she had horrendous PMT in the days when it wasn’t recognised, and my father wasn’t as supportive as he could have been. I feel a sadness for her. Her life wasn’t easy.
    DrKatie: Once I started focusing on being fit and healthy, rather than weight loss, life became much easier. And incidentally, the weight kept dropping anyway, until it levelled out below my original UGW. go figure 😝

    Having a restful day after my busy week. DH is out walking with DYD and her dog. We will Skype with the family after lunch. One more busy week and then a few weeks off from my volunteer work.

    🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,146 Member
    Lisa- good Idea and I don't think its morbid at all.
    Nobody is perfect,but I aldo feel that if I passed today,that I have done everything and I tell everyone that I love them all the time.
    I have no regrets.
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,951 Member
    Heather - Love it! Your ability to capture perspective and light gets better with every piece.
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,387 Member
    2023 December Kindness


    Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate teachers.


    Meditation: daily. 18/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%,100,100,83%
    Feeling sick all month. Colitis crap!

    Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min /23
    Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
    Flexible (yoga, stretching) /8 a week 10 min
    Balance 5 days 10 min /20

    1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%,100%,100%)
    3 months SOBER!
    2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5907,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%,-6847,98%-84% 5882-)
    3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 (10,00%) 50%
    4. Contact close family every week (4x) 227-208—(733%,100% My mom called me for a change, 100%)
    5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)99/96 100%)
    6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2, 173.2, 173.4, 173.4 (600%) 100%,100%
    7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 5/23. (681%,100,100,83)
    8. Read 12 books at least this year. 49/12
    (100%)
    9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 12/12—(100%)
    10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (100%) I put the money in, but end up taking it out.
    11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0,0,0,0
    500%) This has stopped. Spending too much.

    January Met —100%
    February met —-90%
    March met met —-90%
    April met——86.36%
    May met——-89%
    June met—-99%
    July met — met 81%
    August met—met 99%
    September met——99%
    October met —90.7%
    November met—75%
    December met—


    1.Spread kindness and share the December calendar with others. Sharing with my MFP friends.
    2. Contact someone you can’t be with to see how they are doing. Forgot to do this yesterday. Hope to do it today. I did this on Sunday 12/3.
    3. Offer to help someone who is facing difficulties at the moment. Helped my fellow host in learning what to do in 2 separate incidents with campers.
    4. Support a campaign, cause, or charity you really care about.
    5. Give a gift to someone who is homeless or lonely. Did not do this. No chance to.
    6. Leave a positive message for someone else to find. Did this yesterday.
    7. Give kind comments to as many people as possible today. I will try. A bit down today. Not feeling well.
    8. Do something helpful for a friend or family member. Will do!
    9. Notice when you’re hard on yourself or others and be kind instead. I will try to remember.
    10. Listen wholeheartedly to others without judging them. I need to learn to do this more.
    11. But an extra item and donate to a food bank.
    12. Be generous. Feed someone with food, love or kindness today.
    13. See how many be people you can smile at today.
    14. Share a happy memory or inspiring thought with a loved one.
    15. Say hello to your neighbor and brighten their day.
    16. Look for something positive to say to everyone you meet today.
    17. Give thanks. List the kind things others have done for you.
    18. Ask for help and let someone else know the how of giving.
    19. Contact someone who may be alone or feeling isolated.
    20. Help someone by giving away something you don’t need.
    21. Appreciate kindness and thank people who do things for you.
    22. Congratulate someone for an achievement that may go unnoticed.
    23. Choose to give or receive the gift of forgiveness.
    24. Bring joy to others. Share something that made you laugh.
    25. Treat everyone with kindness including yourself.
    26. Get outside, pick up litter or do something kind for nature.
    27. Call a relative who is far away to say hello and have a chat.
    28. Be kind to the planet. Eat less meat and use less energy.
    29. Turn off digital devices and really listen to people.
    30. Let someone know how much you appreciated them and why.
    31. Plan some new acts of kindness for 2024.



    The results of your personality test are in. Here they are:
    Personality type: Logistician (ISTJ-T)
Traits: Introverted – 69%, Observant – 58%, Thinking – 75%, Judging – 56%, Turbulent – 54%
Role: Sentinel
Strategy: Constant Improvement
    Joined MFPL 5/26/2010

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