A one year commitment….

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  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    Agreed
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/8/24 day 122 last ‘bad ‘ over day in a bit

    1/3 the way through…
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/9 day 123 - traveled back from VT trip. Eating was at goal today.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/10 day 125 - difficult day at work - I suspect my ability to manage work drama has been reduced by the last few weeks of not being consistent - the days of veering off plan seem to have accumulated and caught up with me. That being said, I put in a good day fitness wise. Continued the slow strength training build up and ate under goal.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/11 day 126
    Not a great food day At a tad above maintenance. Looking forward to my lifts tomorrow
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/12/2024 day 127 - a very bad work day ( I may not have a job after next week -but I finally stood up for myself regarding a situation that has gone on way too long ) unfortunately this resulted an yet another over day. More than 1/2 of me feels like I have failed with this log and I want to give up, if I’m being brutally honest… but I won’t. Not until day 365…
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    54ShadesOfBlue wrote: »
    4/12/2024 day 127 - a very bad work day ( I may not have a job after next week -but I finally stood up for myself regarding a situation that has gone on way too long ) unfortunately this resulted an yet another over day. More than 1/2 of me feels like I have failed with this log and I want to give up, if I’m being brutally honest… but I won’t. Not until day 365…

    Don't give up then, either. I mean, give up the writing part if you like, but don't give up on all the wonderful changes of habit you're working out to reach a healthy weight and improved fitness. You're worth that investment, and it will improve your quality of life on that front, at least. I'm sorry your work is being stressful, but congratulations on standing up for yourself.

    Sending positive thoughts!
  • SwtHedgehog
    SwtHedgehog Posts: 175 Member
    Sorry this is going on. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and if you need to priortize that some, that's okay. In the end, even just being aware is a good point. And, later, when you're in a better place, you can maybe even learn from al of this.

    Wishing you well with work and life.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/13/2024 day 128
    Tried to keep Fridays stuff in a box and focused on some outdoor gardening , stated my taxes and spent time with my extended family. All good things. Food with exercise was over goal but below maintenance, so a little back under control.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/14/2024 day 129
    Day started out grey and windy, kinda kept me down and unmotivated also not looking forward to Monday…. sun came out a little later took a walk on the beach which helped a little bit - managed to get my taxes done.
    Ate at about maintenance. So not a win but not a loss either…
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/15/2024
    A better day. Came close to goal … a little over but below maintenance. Took a nice walk .. saw a bit of wildlife, feeling a bit more appreciative for where I live and what I have.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/16/2024 day 131 - same as yesterday
    Above goal but just a little under maintenance. I finally feel like I have a foothold to start to clean out some mental junk I have accumulated in my mind.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/17/2024 day 132- a little better than yesterday - under maintenance but over goal. I just realized that my younger son’s high school graduation is 73 days from today. Going to try to use this milestone to restart / reset my focus. Wish me luck !!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    It's not really about luck. It's about commitment . . . like in your thread title. You're holding the reins. You can use them to drive where you want to go. Hang in there!
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/18/2024 day 133 - back on track - calorie goals done as per plan !
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/19/2024 day 134 -over today due to an unexpected dinner with my son -he has a rough day.. I find when we go to chilis (one of his favorite places) he has a tendency to open up and share more in conversations… I did not want to count cals too much during the meal as this evening wasn’t about me.
    Totally worth it and didn’t do too badly
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/20/2024 day 135 - maintenance day. Crap was eaten by counteracted by outdoor activities
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/21/2024 day 136 - another maintenance day..
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/22/2024 - over today - a reaction to feeling overwhelmed without a way to fix things.
  • SwtHedgehog
    SwtHedgehog Posts: 175 Member
    Here's to a better dsy ahead. :-)
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/23/2024 - over goal but under maintenance- trying to push through things..
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/24/2024 Another difficult work day- feel like there is no path to winning. Trying my best to keep cals at maintenance
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/26 over again today trying to get out of this rut , my willpower has gone on vacation. It bothers me to have to write this day after day but apparently not enough to change things at the moment.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    I've been reading what you write, and have felt concern. I thought I was reading between the lines that you were struggling, in a bit of a dark valley at the moment, but I didn't want to make assumptions. (I though you could've just been letting off some steam, but I now understand it's deeper than that.)

    Please hang in there. I gather that some other areas of your life are very difficult and stressful right now. Your commitment to improving health and fitness has been exemplary. Your approach has been very sensible.

    I know it's hard to find the emotional energy (been there!), but this may be an area where you can potentially keep a firm hand on the reins and feel good about it . . . and feel good from the results longer term, too.

    I know I'm a total stranger, but I'd love to see you succeed. It's been a powerful life improvement for me. I would like to see it be that for you. It's OK if you need to coast for a while - we all do, sometimes.

    But please don't give up. I'm cheering for you!
  • SwtHedgehog
    SwtHedgehog Posts: 175 Member
    Keep going at it; your success has been keeping up the diary and reflections daily. That's a huge step and mental health is just as important as the physical. And. On top of that, you've had way more beliw maintenance daysnthan over days.
    My struggle is also with eating, especially when stressed. The keybis to be aware of these patterns/feelings and, this, your doing great.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/26/2024
    Thank you both very much!
    I take your words of encouragement to heart. ❤️

    Food today was way over maintenance but the choices were better - much less destructive.

  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/27 - over maintenance but by a smaller amount than yesterday and completely cut out all destructive stuff.
    Was a good day- spent a good portion of it outside planting, then visiting my folks
  • itladyee
    itladyee Posts: 5,360 Member
    We are all dealing with so much more than we post on MFP. I commend your efforts and diligence to keep coming back. Maintenance is a good thing when you're struggling. Hang in there...
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/28 - another day just a bit above maintenance. Got a difficult week ahead gonna do my best to get through and be better.
  • 54ShadesOfBlue
    54ShadesOfBlue Posts: 262 Member
    4/29/2024 - first day in a bit … hit my calorie goal… feel my mojo slowly comming back.

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