Men Are Husbands, Not "Hubbys"

lumberjacks94
lumberjacks94 Posts: 135 Member
edited October 5 in Chit-Chat
When I was in a college fraternity, the old joke was it was a "fraternity" not a "frat" because you would never shorten the word "country." (Maybe I have the joke wrong...that's what college partying will do!)

Anyway, as a man, I do not like it when women refer to their spouse as their "hubby." I'm sure in most cases it's meant well, but in many it's not. I'm talking about the women who don't particular like their husbands (and I've talked to some of you so I know you're out there!)

But either way, I find "hubby" to be a touch condescending as a man. I have a feeling most women would feel the same way if all of them were referred to as "wifey" in each instance.

I realize most of you mean it as a term of endearment and it's shorter, but that doesn't mean it can't be nails on a chalkboard to me. Could I be the ONLY person that feels this way?

(Let the flaming begin.....)
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Replies

  • sarahlucydaynes26
    sarahlucydaynes26 Posts: 263
    I am not married but my husband would simply be my husband.
  • Duelltolose
    Duelltolose Posts: 119 Member
    If anything, I would probably say Hubby maybe once a year.. Just joking around. But other than that, he would be my husband :)
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    In case you haven't noticed this is an estrogen soaked website so you pretty much have to get used to the local dialects(TOM, etc..).
    Since its a fitness site, any day you aren't a 'Chubby Hubby" is a victory.
  • GemmieNoWobbles
    GemmieNoWobbles Posts: 398 Member
    I'm with you! Its annoying! I llike wiffle though for wife!! It makes me chuckle!! Whats more annoying than Hubby is Hubs!!
  • charlesalvear
    charlesalvear Posts: 78 Member
    I only ever viewed it (and heard it) as a term of endearment when i was married or when I've heard my female friends refer to their spouse. It's just a word. There are worse things that a person can be called. I don't see the big deal.
  • peacheywoo
    peacheywoo Posts: 52 Member
    I use hubby all the time - just as he uses wifey. We both see it as a term of endearment - after 17 years we have several!

    That said if I'm talking to people I don't know well then its husband but within our close circle he's hubby and I'm wifey.
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,737 Member
    Never thought of it that way, never meant it that way, but do understand! I dislike "sissy" for sister. I will pay closer attention to my use of husband! Thank you!
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
    I don't see why it is such a big deal. It is just an abbreviation. As a woman, being called 'the ball and chain', my 'bird' and my 'missus' is however offensive (not saying that you do this)
  • Shausil82
    Shausil82 Posts: 218 Member
    I have friends who say "hubby" in a jokingly way, but, it's only been a few times I've heard that term. I don't exactly have a personal opinion because I don't believe in marriage and don't plan on settling down and marrying.
    Personally, I just think we should be calling people by their REAL name instead of labels, like "hubby" and "wifey."
  • chef970
    chef970 Posts: 196 Member
    I have no problem when my wife either calls me hubby or hubs or any other pet/shorter names because thats how we love each other. Does it really matter that much??????
  • glittermouse
    glittermouse Posts: 582 Member
    I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

    FYI: I am a woman. I have a boyfriend. I call him by his name. Not "Let me ask the boyfriend". It's "Let me ask {name}"

    But, back to your original question. Yes, it annoys me when I hear people use 'hubby' all the time.
  • drblythe
    drblythe Posts: 163 Member
    I'm not a fan of the word "Hubby" either, but I don't think it bugs me as much as it annoys you.

    I really don't like it when people refer to their husband/wife/boyfriend etc as "their other half" ....you're still a whole person even if you have a husband.

    I think that annoys me more than "hubby"
  • CarrieQuiteContrary
    CarrieQuiteContrary Posts: 98 Member
    I am not a fan of hubby, but I am an even bigger non-fan of HUBBINS. Worst. Petname. Ever. -gag-
  • glittermouse
    glittermouse Posts: 582 Member
    Personally, I just think we should be calling people by their REAL name instead of labels, like "hubby" and "wifey."

    ^^THIS
  • kirstiey
    kirstiey Posts: 243
    Yuck. It a real sighn of the smug marrieds "Hubby" look at me, I have snared one! I am not bitter at all.....
  • GemmieNoWobbles
    GemmieNoWobbles Posts: 398 Member
    Yuck. It a real sighn of the smug marrieds "Hubby" look at me, I have snared one! I am not bitter at all.....

    hahaha... smug all the way!!
  • marthafox1
    marthafox1 Posts: 191 Member
    I live in the UK - specifically Wales. In Wales, they shorten every name. So, if your name is Caroline - you get called Ca, David is Dai, Andrew is And, Julia is Ju etc.,

    As a wife I am known as; The other Half (OH), The Wife, Wifey, Her Indoors, The Mrs and rather affectionately Woman. In conversation my husband calls me by my name - he's tried calling me by other women's names but really, that just doesn't work for me!

    As a husband, I call him; By his name or refer about him in conversation as my husband. However, on forums he may get called hubster, hubby or OH.

    All done with the affection and understanding and the formation of idiosyncratic ways of being together for 30 years.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    Surely it would be "Hubbies" plural?

    ;)

    Anyhow, I'm not so sure it's ever meant to be demeaning or derogatory, purely an emphasis of affection for your other half showing genuine affection and light heartedness. It chit chat, hubby IN MY OPINION is fine. In a more formal sesnse, talking to the bank etc, I'd refer to him as husband.

    Wifey is fun too! Makes you seem like less of the "Old ball and chain..." (can of worms...)
  • udallmom101
    udallmom101 Posts: 564 Member
    I use hubby all the time - just as he uses wifey. We both see it as a term of endearment - after 17 years we have several!

    That said if I'm talking to people I don't know well then its husband but within our close circle he's hubby and I'm wifey.
    I have to agree with this post. That is exactly how my Husband and I talk to one another. It is just what comes out most of the time. We love one another dearly, but it is what it is. I grew up with my parents calling one another wifey and hubby. They love each other dearly, been married almost 40 years. It's just what we do.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Does not bother me. When I am speaking directly to my husband I call him many terms of endearment and rarely use his name. When I speak about him to someone I use "husband" about half the time and his name the other half, just like when I talk about my sister I often say "my sister" instead of her name, or when I talk about my Aunt, I'll say "My Auntie"
  • Pidders89
    Pidders89 Posts: 1,169 Member
    i agree with this but i also hate when guys say "the misses" because its normally when they are moaning about them or being sarcastic

    xxx
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
    I used to think it was silly sounding, but I realize now I use it all the time in conversation. I don't say it when speaking TO him. Just when referring to him. He doesn't mind. I think I can count on one hand the number of times in a year that he calls me by my name, it is always babe, love, hon, sweety, dahhhhling, etc.

    Some would be bothered by being sorta nameless, but we're pretty cool with it, our identities are pretty meshed, since we've been together since we were 16 and turned 40 this year.

    (not a flame, everyone is entitled, right? there's words I hate too, like quaint, moist, etc, and phrases like "touch base" and "moving forward")
  • melbhall
    melbhall Posts: 519
    there are a lot of women posting here, when they should be making sammiches

    Lol!

    I have a hubby and I'm proud to be his wifey! I usually prefer to just be babe!
  • Lozzielol
    Lozzielol Posts: 78
    there are a lot of women posting here, when they should be making sammiches


    Dont make us go in the kitchen, that's where we keep the knives! xD


    And no, they wont be used to cut your sammich. :P


    p.s I call my OH (since we're not married and probably never will be) by his name, or Honey/Babe. I think calling him by his name all the time is a tad too cold, really. A term of endearment never hurt anyone! :D
  • MissPeppers
    MissPeppers Posts: 302 Member
    Well, Hubby, Husband, that's just as OK as Wifey or something up that alley, in my opinion. They sound affectionate, like it's someone close to them using that word for them.

    But what do I call my boyfriend then - we live together but are not married. In Norwegian we call it "samboer" which directly translates to "cohabitant" but that could mean just room-mates as I understand it?

    Should I call him:
    Significant Other
    Better Half

    No, no, no....

    Or My Man?
    The Man?
    Boyfriend sounds too "loose", BF sounds even worse, he isn't my Hubby or Husband, he's got a name but that's not the point here. What would be best??
  • shazzahare
    shazzahare Posts: 52
    I think hubby is a lovely term .
  • JunkFoodJane
    JunkFoodJane Posts: 150 Member
    It annoys the heck out of me. Really, really annoys me. I too find it nails on chalkboardish. May as well just go around saying, "Saccharin! Syrup! Suuuuuugar water!"

    Total gag-me-with-a-spoon. It sounds like ******* baby talk.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I personally don't have a problem with it. I'm not married but if I'm in conversation with someone who doesn't know me well or doesn't know him I refer to him as "my boyfriend" or "the boyfriend", such as on here, or to people I haven't known long. It's just easier - yes, I have had people continually saying "who?" when I use his real name :/
    To close friends and family he will always be Tom though, and I will always be Heidi.

    I'm referred to as the Missus a lot of the time to his friends who don't know me that well. I don't find it offensive, it's just how they all are :) He still calls me by my real name half the time, depends on the situation. I'm assuming a more serious conversation would be using my actual name, and more light hearted would be "missus".

    We don't call each other "boyfriend" or "missus" to each other. That would just sound silly - we just use babe, or our real names.
  • mrdee555
    mrdee555 Posts: 178
    Wouldnt bother me either way ive been called worse lol
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    I've never been offended at being 'Hubby' - But then I guess my wife says it affectionately!
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