Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?
Replies
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I am getting at nothing. People are secretive when they keep their diaries private on an eating site. That is defeating the entire purpose. I would never criticize anyones diary nor has anyone criticized mine, but I wouldnt get all worked up if someone did. There are so many things to be upset about. This is not one of them. People have gotten so defensive and I just dont get it. My diary is public..go look at it.0
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:laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...
It was probably her way of saying something to them without actually saying anything. I've only been on this site for about 2 wks and I already know that If I post a topic it goes on the news feed so that everyone of my friends can see it.0 -
Not at all. I guess I did not type it correctly. Typing is not my forte, Please excuse.0
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I think I love youSometimes I drink nothing but vodka for breakfast0 -
I try to find the positive. I won't comment unless there is something I know they are working on.
Rude or irritating comments on mine will get you deleted.0 -
That is defeating the entire purpose.
And you know everybody's purpose for being here do you?
No, you don't. Believe it or not, not everyone is here for the same reason! Some are here to simply track cals. Some are here to maintain, some to gain muscle, etc. The purpose of me being here is to track my calories and exercise. That's it. It's nobody elses business. You really need to stop generalising so much.0 -
I am getting at nothing. People are secretive when they keep their diaries private on an eating site. That is defeating the entire purpose. I would never criticize anyones diary nor has anyone criticized mine, but I wouldnt get all worked up if someone did. There are so many things to be upset about. This is not one of them. People have gotten so defensive and I just dont get it. My diary is public..go look at it.
Why do you think I want to look at what you ate? You put it in your mouth, chew, swallow. Maybe I would care if you were on my friendlist, but you're just trying to make a point about how open you are about the stuff you eventually poop.
Someone being secretive does not defeat the purpose of this site. I was on here for a good month with no friends, just tracking my exercise and calories. The website served its purpose. I didn't need anyone to help me keep in line with my goals.0 -
:laugh: I wonder if any your friends read this and if so how many are left or still have open diaries, and was that the point of the rant/post in the first place... Hmmm Now that's something I'd be interested in knowing...
It was probably her way of saying something to them without actually saying anything. I've only been on this site for about 2 wks and I already know that If I post a topic it goes on the news feed so that everyone of my friends can see it.
Actually you can turn off that function in settings and I've discussed it with this person. I just wanted opinions on what others have done >.> I have not lost any friends because of this also the majority of my friends are in recovery (so they want/expect comments and help with their diary) so I'm probably not use to seeing that type of diary.0 -
Wow, I never knew people would get to defensive and aggressive about it.
It was an honest question about helping people/motivating people about making better lifestyle choices. I thought the friends option was about giving support and motivating to stay on the task and reach their weight goal.
Making poor food choices constantly is going to hurt their health >.> And if they were my friends in real life I'd do the same thing >.> Its like smoking excessively or doing drugs, or drinking far too much. My diary is private to the public because I don't know you, and when i friend someone it is like accepting constructive criticism but support at the time time >.>
The responses here kind of piss me off and I thought people on this site would have a more balanced response, I congratulate them when they exercise, or reaching their calorie goal or maintaining or people on recovery, why shouldn't I give honest feedback on a diary that isn't balanced?
I agree with this and the comment after:
But its not about being judgemental people... its about offering support, and advice about the choices they're making... isn't that why you're MFPs with them? To be supportive, offer help, support and advice and help keep them on the straight and narrow and not in denial???
I know for me I downloaded the app on my phone to help me count my calories more accurately than using an excel spreadsheet. I had no clue that there was a whole community analyzing everyones every move, some people may need that for motivation but whatever it takes for them to reach their goals!
I don't analyse... per se... i get a lot of ideas from peoples meal choices... but also if someone is whining about their weight loss or something... i'll take a nosey ... I've only ever offered advice once and it was offered before being told and was accepted and received well. I wish more people would analyse mine!0 -
If someone asks for your advice, cool. Give it to them.
If you were to comment on my diary about something terrible in it, there's 100% chance I will say to myself, verbatim, "I'm not a retard, I understand that I made ****ty choices today. Thanks for pointing them out to me, asshat." I keep my diary open to my friends so I know I'll be accountable. If I know they can see it, I make better choices in general.
But there's still no need to say "Um, you ate 568 double-stuff oreos today. You know it's bad, right?" No crap.
If they're consistently making bad choices and seeing no progress and you're worried, maybe drop them a PM of concern. If they slipped up one day, don't be a jerk and point out what I'm sure they are already well aware of.
If you notice my diary exploding on a Friday, just turn around. Fridays are Fun Food Friday, and **** gets crazy up in my place.
ETA: I'm not saying you're a jerk or anything. This is how my hypothetical food diary situations go down.0 -
Not gonna lie, sometimes I don't say anything because I don't know what their day was like or what happened...but if it's a constant nasty food thing,......it just makes me feel better about what I eat! :ohwell:0
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Haha Brilliant! I love Mugatu (Will Ferrell) and Zoolander.... and any other film with him in!
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If someone asks for your advice, cool. Give it to them.
If you were to comment on my diary about something terrible in it, there's 100% chance I will say to myself, verbatim, "I'm not a retard, I understand that I made ****ty choices today. Thanks for pointing them out to me, asshat." I keep my diary open to my friends so I know I'll be accountable. If I know they can see it, I make better choices in general.
But there's still no need to say "Um, you ate 568 double-stuff oreos today. You know it's bad, right?" No crap.
If they're consistently making bad choices and seeing no progress and you're worried, maybe drop them a PM of concern. If they slipped up one day, don't be a jerk and point out what I'm sure they are already well aware of.
If you notice my diary exploding on a Friday, just turn around. Fridays are Fun Food Friday, and **** gets crazy up in my place.
ETA: I'm not saying you're a jerk or anything. This is how my hypothetical food diary situations go down.
I do agree with this... I think its wrong to just blurt out negativity...
But offering to give a few suggestions in a poilte, concerned way is tactful and kind. If they don;t want to hear it, it gives them the option to say no, I'm fine i know today was bad but *insert reason* and you haven't come across as a jerk... in addition it gives you chance to discuss why they did it which is probably more pertinent in eating behaviours.0 -
If someone asks for your advice, cool. Give it to them.
If you were to comment on my diary about something terrible in it, there's 100% chance I will say to myself, verbatim, "I'm not a retard, I understand that I made ****ty choices today. Thanks for pointing them out to me, asshat." I keep my diary open to my friends so I know I'll be accountable. If I know they can see it, I make better choices in general.
But there's still no need to say "Um, you ate 568 double-stuff oreos today. You know it's bad, right?" No crap.
If they're consistently making bad choices and seeing no progress and you're worried, maybe drop them a PM of concern. If they slipped up one day, don't be a jerk and point out what I'm sure they are already well aware of.
If you notice my diary exploding on a Friday, just turn around. Fridays are Fun Food Friday, and **** gets crazy up in my place.
ETA: I'm not saying you're a jerk or anything. This is how my hypothetical food diary situations go down.
I think I just fell in love with you.0 -
All the time. I'm always giving praise where praise is due and breaking balls when they need to be broken.0
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I have one friend that I specifically ask for help when I need it because he's really good at being positive and kicking my butt at the same time. I know this about him because he's my oldest friend on this site (that's not saying much lol) and he always has great feedback on topics so I trust him with my diary. But otherwise, I like to make my own choices and live with them, and I think most people are the same. I had a friend that started out wanting feedback but now her diary is private, and I imagine she got too much negative. I hope I didn't contribute to that, but it's possible I did. It's the internet after all and it's easy to misread what a stranger has typed. I think the key is to know your friends and what their goals are, which for me means keeping my friends' list pretty short. I know that some of my friends, like me, have lupus and struggle with illness. Some are other military spouses that deal with the struggles of that. But if I don't know what a friend's goal is, I shouldn't comment. I don't know whether they're just struggling to get their calories in check or if they're trying to eat lower sodium, or less carbs, or whatever. Without that information I can't comment constructively, so I don't.0
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Well, luckily my friends are supportive of me. I appreciate! them, and they me. NO ONE HAS GIVEN ME ADVICE UNLESS I ASKED.
You do not need to use bathroom terminology. That I FIND VERY OFFENSIVE. That should be kept private if you dont mind.0 -
I do agree with this... I think its wrong to just blurt out negativity...
But offering to give a few suggestions in a poilte, concerned way is tactful and kind. If they don;t want to hear it, it gives them the option to say no, I'm fine i know today was bad but *insert reason* and you haven't come across as a jerk... in addition it gives you chance to discuss why they did it which is probably more pertinent in eating behaviours.
I agree. I'm just snarky about things like that in my head to myself. If someone does point things out to me, I'll politely let them know whether I'm aware of it or not that day.0 -
I think I just fell in love with you.
You just made my day 0 -
Well, luckily my friends are supportive of me. I appreciate! them, and they me. NO ONE HAS GIVEN ME ADVICE UNLESS I ASKED.
You do not need to use bathroom terminology. That I FIND VERY OFFENSIVE. That should be kept private if you dont mind.
You do realize there's a quote button right? So people know who you're referencing. :flowerforyou:0 -
Clearly the person that keeps repeatedly commenting is trolling. Their goal is 1k calories a day, and they frequently consume 4 cups of cereal with half and half. 1 day for a snack they had 7 teaspoons of sugar. It honestly doesn't matter if they come back here and try to explain why they eat the way they do and even throw in a "You don't know my situation!" (And I honestly don't care what their situation is) because the OP doesn't know all of their friend's situations either, or the reason they eat the way they do.0
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Well, luckily my friends are supportive of me. I appreciate! them, and they me. NO ONE HAS GIVEN ME ADVICE UNLESS I ASKED.
You do not need to use bathroom terminology. That I FIND VERY OFFENSIVE. That should be kept private if you dont mind.
You do realize there's a quote button right? So people know who you're referencing. :flowerforyou:
I already told her that. Apparently, typing isn't her forte (not my words) so I'll just group using MFP in there as well.
Also, everyone poops. EVERYONE. Don't be offended by your poops.0 -
I'm broke. Flat broke. The only thing you would see in my food diary for the next two weeks is Ramen Noodles. Yep. One pack a day.
If you think I need someone to comment on that, you be crazy.
I don't like it, and it's not my ideal food, but it's what I've got to see me through.
My diary is private because of things such as this. 'taint nobody's business.
I don't have MFP friends either, because of crap like this and so many 'rules' on how to be a good friend and so many reasons why people will delete friends. I'm better off going it alone.0 -
I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.0
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I try to only comment when asked. I haven't even looked at anyone's diary yet. :laugh:0
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Clearly the person that keeps repeatedly commenting is trolling. Their goal is 1k calories a day, and they frequently consume 4 cups of cereal with half and half. 1 day for a snack they had 7 teaspoons of sugar. It honestly doesn't matter if they come back here and try to explain why they eat the way they do and even throw in a "You don't know my situation!" (And I honestly don't care what their situation is) because the OP doesn't know all of their friend's situations either, or the reason they eat the way they do.
Pure awesomeness.0 -
Clearly the person that keeps repeatedly commenting is trolling. Their goal is 1k calories a day, and they frequently consume 4 cups of cereal with half and half. 1 day for a snack they had 7 teaspoons of sugar. It honestly doesn't matter if they come back here and try to explain why they eat the way they do and even throw in a "You don't know my situation!" (And I honestly don't care what their situation is) because the OP doesn't know all of their friend's situations either, or the reason they eat the way they do.
Damn yo. That is one f'ed up food diary... Try getting some fresh fruit and veggies in there at least yeesh..0 -
I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.
1st you knew people who smoked who died at 90?? and thats a bad thing?
2ndly as far as people not saying anything to overweight people like they do smokers. That's a lie! I remember going through school with lots of kids making fun of me for being overweight and even adults making comments to me! I also just recently quite smoking (6 months smoke free) and not once did anyone come up to me and make comments about my smoking they way they have with my weight.0 -
I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.
If you've smoked for a long time, you would not be able to tell that you smelled.
If you hung around smokers, that probably couldn't tell that you smelled.
When it comes to loved ones, they're selective about telling folks stuff like that.
You might have not smelled all the time, but smoke does leave a smell and it stinks. -_- People do go up to overweight people and tell them to stop eating. They do call them gross and disgusting. Being overweight is such a stigma in this society. Why do you think more people than ever are turning to diet fads?
You can tell someone to stop smoking because that will be better for their health. You can't tell an overweight person to stop eating because they'll starve to death. What correlation were you trying to make? Derp.0 -
I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.
Just my thoughts on how smoking affects others: It does, physically. I know that after being on my own and not being around smokers in my every day life, then going home to visit these smokers, I always get headaches and have trouble with my asthma just being in their houses. To me, it's different to ask someone to not smoke near you for that reason, than to ask someone to leave a beach (besides the rudeness factor).0
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