Tell loved ones they are overweight this Christmas

Options
24567…11

Replies

  • ChrissyLu723
    ChrissyLu723 Posts: 154 Member
    Options
    Well, it was thanks to my "darling" mother-in-law having a "quiet" conversation with my husband last Christmas about my weight that finally motivated me to get off my fat *kitten* and do something about my weight problem. Well, after my initial response was to spend a week on the sofa stuffing my face with Pringles and Doritos muttering, "if she thinks I'm fat now ... " As much as I hated what she said and how she said it, she's the first person in a looooooooooong time to suggest I needed to deal with what could bring health problems in the future. Now that I've lost over 80lbs, I find that everyone talks about my weight <sigh> "Don't lose any more." Why not? Where was your concern when I was morbidly obese? Why are you so concerned now that I'm actually healthy?

    Not sure I'd have the weight conversation with anyone else though unless I thought they were ready for it.
    Another reason why Mother In Laws should mind their own business....I am glad you lost weight after hearing that but I find it rude that she would talk to your husband about your weight.
  • ncwingnut71
    ncwingnut71 Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    Since my daughter and I are the only 2 in our family who REALLY need to lose weight, I wouldn't want to be told by the 12 others at the gatherings that I need to. I have one brother-in-law who really needs to stop the drugs and alcohol....do I tell him that? No. Because HE'S the only one who can make that decision.

    Christmas is about giving and love and family - not putting people down, which is how a lot of people would take that. If you want to have a healthy meal, that's fine. I'm all about eating right. But pointing out my "flaws" at this time of year is not cool...at all.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Options
    Do it during the Airing of the Grievances.
  • DonaA123
    DonaA123 Posts: 337 Member
    Options
    Actually I'd love someone else paying for my membership. That's a lot more helpful than just saying "You are over weight"


    I agree!
  • Sarahbear83
    Sarahbear83 Posts: 110 Member
    Options
    I'd venture to say that most people who are overweight already know they are overweight. They know there are health risks to being overweight too. They don't need anyone to tell them so.
  • VAMommyAgain
    VAMommyAgain Posts: 400 Member
    Options
    That sounds a good way to make the festive period uncomfortable for all!

    ITA!!! It's supposed to be a time of just enjoying our time together. I do not know a single fat person who doesn't already know that they are fat!!! Who the hell can't see it in the mirror? And fat people are already self conscious about people seeing them...why in the world would we want to point it out to them and make them feel worse?!
  • DonaA123
    DonaA123 Posts: 337 Member
    Options
    917l.jpg

    love this
  • OnionCookie
    OnionCookie Posts: 272 Member
    Options
    Most people are already well aware that they need to lose weight, no one has to tell them they do. It's the matter of getting the solid, kind, encouragement to do so rather than being told to do so. At least that's my case.
  • auntie_missy
    auntie_missy Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    Dear Professor David Haslan and the National Obesity Forum:
    Really? You think Christmas is an appropriate time to sit down with a loved one and explain to them what you think is wrong with them? Because nothing helps people lose weight more than feeling like their support system is judging them and there is no better time than the already hectic, sweets laden emotional fraught days of Christmas. "Honey, I think you're overweight. Grandma thinks so, too. Now let's go eat honey roasted ham, scalloped potatoes and oh, yes, I made 20 kinds of cookies as well."
    What's really irksome about this is that there is an appropriate time for this conversation, and it's only about a week away. Make your New Year's resolution to let someone in your life know that you'd like to be there to support them through working on their resolutions. Take advantage of the great sales on diet and exercise items that take place in January. Resolve to take a closer look at yourself and see if the change can begin with you - one persons success can be really motivating for others.
  • Amy_B
    Amy_B Posts: 2,323 Member
    Options
    I think the person (or people) who said to set an example instead has the right idea. You might even "brag" about your weight loss a bit. Tell about your exercise, your weight loss, your eating, etc. Don't act stuck up about it though. Maybe that overweight person will think "if they can do this, so can I." :smile:
  • Barneystinson
    Barneystinson Posts: 1,357 Member
    Options
    Actually I'd love someone else paying for my membership. That's a lot more helpful than just saying "You are over weight"

    Yeah, but you actually WANT that membership. That's a little different. Giving the active person in your life new sporting gear or complimentary gym / fitness memberships are okay.

    A little different when the gym membership is given to someone who had no desire for it in the first place and thinks of it only as a "hey guess what, you're (insert term here - fat, lazy, slobby, etc) and need to get off your @$$&quot; message. That may strike a bit of resentment and end up being a waste for both people.
  • kimberg75
    kimberg75 Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    917l.jpg
    That's hilarious!! I love Dr. Phil!!
    My opinion on this issue is it's not a good idea....especially at Christmas, which is suppose to be a happy time spent w/ family. I agree with what everyone else is saying, if you're fat you probably know it....and a person has to decide on their own whether to do anything about it. Just someone saying Hey lose some weight isn't going to make the person want to do it...the motivation to lose weight has to come from within.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    Options
    Telling someone that they are overweight/fat/need to lose weight (no matter how gently) makes you the bad guy(or girl). It really does hurt a lot. Overweight people know that they are overweight, they don't need anybody else to remind them of the fact that they need to lose weight especially not during christmas.

    <---- this
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Options
    I think it would cause less consternation if you just let it slip into dinner conversation. "Pass the gravy, Fatty" should do the trick nicely. Or the more subtle "You're not going to have any pudding, are you?"
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Are there actually people in the world who are overweight and don't know it?

    I will never understand this attitude (especially amongst some people on this board) that it's perfectly OK to tell another person he or sheneeds to lose weight or to push your own diet and exercise advice when it isn't solicited. It's a good way to get a punch in the nose or cause people to never speak to you again.

    Leave people alone. They know. They will choose to do something about it or they won't, but they KNOW.

    I came into my job yesterday morning and someone in the office thought it had been a good idea to leave "Our Daily Bread" on my desk. It's the same thing. I'm not Christian and I'm not going to be. Keep it out of my face. If one day I decide to be Christian, then I will take that step, but it won't be because some jerk tried to talk me into it.

    Same with weight loss.
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
    Options
    No way!
    They all know they're too fat already, and the last thing people want to hear during a family gathering is us blabbing on and on about weight loss, fitness or our program results. Here's what you do if you really seek to make an impact.

    Shut up and just let your results speak for itself. People will notice you, me, and some will comment. It's hard, but don't be a bore and limit your answers about your weight loss to 20 seconds.

    Any more than 20 seconds is boring.
    They say "John, you've lost weight!"
    You say "Yes, thank you. I needed to get fit".
    They respond something like "How'd you do it?"
    You say "Eat less and move more. It's just that simple".

    And change the subject. People will respect the simplicity and those really seeking to change might follow up with you later.
    I know what I am talking about.

    There is nothing more annoying or boorish than a new convert to anything: religion, politics, fitness - whatever!
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't dare tell anyone they are overweight. D'uh. They're not stupid too. I'm sure they already know that. By telling them, you're just being a pompous jerk.

    I'm leading by example. And it's working wonders.
  • charlotte66
    charlotte66 Posts: 248 Member
    Options
    That sounds a good way to make the festive period uncomfortable for all!

    :laugh: can just imagine it at partners parents house "excuse me your overweight"...............................silence!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Do it during the Airing of the Grievances.

    Festivus for the rest of us!!!
  • picol
    picol Posts: 19
    Options
    "happy christmas, i love you... now would you mind losing a few pounds please? cheers"

Categories