Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

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  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    What right do I have to judge them?

    Absolutely none. Also, if seeing other people eat makes you want to toss up your cookies, you may want to enlist the help of a counselor. Hope you have a Merry Christmas!


    Amen. As a mother of four, very differently metabolisized (word? probably not) based children I think it's horrible that you would judge harmless children. I hope you didn't stare at them.
    I think she was judging the parents more so than the children, as it was the mother that most likely taught (and not to mentioned purchased the food) the children to eat that way.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    I get it...to a small point.

    It's more sad than anything. Do some parents need to take more responsability for what their children are stuffing in ther already over weight faces? Yes. I almost puked the other day at subway when the chick infront of me kept saying, "more mayo, can you squirt a little more, wait, a little bit more" than watched her eat her sammie with the nasty stuff dripping out of all ends. Was she over weight? yes. Did it disgust me? You bet.

    With that being said, I did not run home to tell the world about the fat chick who slopped on 5 lbs of mayo to her "healthy alternative" dinner choice.

    Health issues, Lack of funds for healthier options, time management, or laziness can all play their part.
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
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    I heard that they are thinking about taking your children away from you if your child is obeese and you fail to address it (assuming they are not obeese for a medical reason) They are saying it's a form of child abuse. I do think it's a form of child abuse, but I think most parents don't do it to their kids on purpouse. I think that's how they grew up and that's what they know. People need to educate themselves on nutrition and health. I always feel awful when I see an obeese child. I do try and remind myslef that they could have a medical condition and I shouldn't judge the parents but it can be hard not to get upset by it. I started this weight loss journey when my daughter was turning 1 and I knew she was going to start eating what my husband and I were eating and I wanted her to be healthy so that meant it was time for me to be healthy. I started educating myself on diet and nutrition and I lost 60 pounds. I'm currently pregnant with #2 and looking forward to continuing my new healthier habbits. I'm no expert, and i'm not perfect ( my daughter had mcdonalds for lunch!) but I do the best I can.
  • stacyjbaker1010
    stacyjbaker1010 Posts: 161 Member
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    I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

    The word peeflaps is making me giggle at work. :)
  • kschhr
    kschhr Posts: 103 Member
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    It's natural to have feelings about things you see, so I think saying you need to see a counselor is crazy. Even though it's hard to watch someone basically kill their children, you gotta keep your mouth shut. I get scared for when you see parents feeding their little 2 year olds french fries, but I'm no mother, I guess what do I know. You didn't say anything, so you didn't do anything wrong. Everyone telling you you're a horrible person for feeling this way are idiots who don't care about other human beings aside from themselves.
  • katcod1522
    katcod1522 Posts: 448 Member
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    some people put the "ron" in moron. Although everyone has an opinion. Karma.
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
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    With that being said, I did not run home to tell the world about the fat chick who slopped on 5 lbs of mayo to her "healthy alternative" dinner choice.

    You just did :laugh:
  • katcod1522
    katcod1522 Posts: 448 Member
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    Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    too bad there is no treadmill that can work out a judgemental personality.
  • toniRAD
    toniRAD Posts: 196 Member
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    I don't think there's anything wrong with you thinking that. Sure it's not anyone else's business, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to help others and wishing they would make healthier choices. It bothers me too whenever I see that, I just wish I could teach other people how important it is. Kids don't even have a chance sometimes because they don't learn about it until they're older. I used to eat way too much/ not the best food when I was younger because I was allowed to, and had no idea that it was bad. If I would've known about what it does to your health & weight, I would've never been overweight back then.

    And like everyone else said, it's not like you said anything to them. You're allowed to think in your head.
  • westcoastSW
    westcoastSW Posts: 320 Member
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    youre 22 years old. you clearly have a lot of growing up to do. you both sicken and sadden me.
    What does age have to do with anything (aside from clarifying that the OP is an adult)? Obese elementary school kids sicken and sadden me.

    OP: I probably would have felt similarly. I would not be personally bothered or affected, since, as other posters have pointed out, any outward reaction in a restaurant or in public would have no effect. But I agree with you on noticing young kids who already appear to be on a poor trajectory with regard to health and behavior habits.

    its not the kids that should sicken you missy, it should be the acts of the parents...WE are responsible for our kids..
    On this, I do agree with you, "Missy". My statement that morbidly obese kids sicken and sadden me was a bit misguided; that parents can allow their kids' health to get to the point where major health complications are likely in store is truly what sickens me. I am saddened for the kids themselves. Thanks for clarifying.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    oh and another thing>>> pee flap?? Hilarious! :laugh: But don't kick me there.

    I am glad I am not the only one that found this hilarious.

    To the OP, I was a fat kid. I agined weight from the age of 8-13 at about 13 I joined WW with my mom and lost all the weight - it was a hell of a struggle. then I started gaining weight again when I was about 18 and I sit at 29 and I am a fat kid, again. Why am I fat? and why did I get fat? Medical issues that were undiagnosed until I was 19.

    There is an awful lot that could be happening rather than just "parents that do not care". Now granted I probably would have looked at those kids and though, oh my those poor girls have a long way to go to be at a "healthy" weight range, but that would have been it because I do not know the circumstances, or their medical history or any of that. If watching fat people eat upset you, perhaps you shouldnt go out.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    With that being said, I did not run home to tell the world about the fat chick who slopped on 5 lbs of mayo to her "healthy alternative" dinner choice.

    You just did :laugh:

    ahh you got me!!!!! :tongue:
  • gg24
    gg24 Posts: 58
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    I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

    ??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.

    LOL Okay, you don't have one Those kids do you! My son has chunked out since he was three-years-old then he would get on a growing spurt and be thin as a rail. Right now he's chunky but starting to grow again. Four inches in the last year and is now taller than me. He'll be about 6'3 or 6'4. He already has more muscle than my ex.

    As to OP. My kids never ate fast food very often, I'm talking maybe four times a year. When they did when we were on vacation or travelling they got whatever they wanted. My son now hates fast food and my daughter only likes the meals with toys. LOL AT a buffet, though, watch out, they can do some damage. What I'm getting at is that you have no idea if that's what they normally eat. It might have been a big treat for them.

    And finally for the topic of being poor and round. *headdesk* Have you ever lived poor and in a city. We hear from kids in dorms all of the time say its hard to manage. Well try being in a city where fresh food can be very limited and expensive. Carbs are cheap! I love that our First Lady took on the project she did of getting kids to eat healthy and move around. She's done it without insulting the parents or kids.

    Whew... off soapbox
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol


    BAHAHAHAHAA

    I wish you could have seen him. He was like foaming at the mouth. And all his siblings were trying to keep him quiet. We actually saw him again at the check out stand. Doughnut safely in hand.
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
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    Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

    LOL!!! I have a 2 year old so I totally get that!
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    I am a very blunt, forward person. Get a few drinks in me and I'm like a truth machine. It's both a curse and a good thing.

    So the other night, a few of us went to our local cafe after hours where they were showing christmas movies. We had a few drinks, enjoyed some cafe treats, and cozied in for the politically incorrect Rudolph.

    Looking to my left though, I noticed two extremely, and I mean extremely overweight girls dressed in tight multicolored dresses, the buttons on the blouses gapped and barely holding. They couldn't have been any older then 8 or 9. Mom had gotten them the cafe's baked mac and cheese, both their own, with the chowder to dip it into, and chocolate brownies for desert. The cafe also served free popcorn in which I was behind one of the girls in line, as she scooped up and filled her bowl, stopped, realizing she could fit more in, and piled it higher. I swear she snorted at me as she turned to walk back to her seat.

    I felt sick. Nauseous. I couldn't even get my handful of popcorn. I wanted to eject the dinner I had and the cookies I had eaten. I wanted to say something to the mother. I was sitting next to them the whole time. Listening to them eat. Watching. It was like a horrible movie montage. As the one girl finished her mac and cheese, her smaller brother had half of his left, and so she finished his for him.

    I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

    I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

    we all judge each other whether we admit it or not. good for you for admitting it to yourself. yes, this is unhealthy and definitely overindulgance. and their mother is not saying anything to them. so it probably will continue. i feel sorry for those kids but i guess we can't do anything about it so what can be said... i'm not going to chastize you because i admit i have those thoughts too. but it does sound like they are happy. hopefully they continue being happy and are also able to get healthy at some point too as well as having a good self esteem and image of themselves as teens and adults.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

    I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!
  • swatts7622
    swatts7622 Posts: 85 Member
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    Reading this makes me want to slap the OP..... Maybe I need to see somebody haha...
  • katcod1522
    katcod1522 Posts: 448 Member
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    and..maybe a chocolate milk to wash it down...*gasp* lol
    Chocolate milk is safe right? I mean..its not one of those "white" foods...bahahahaha
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